Spanking is NOT God’s Will Part 6

( part 1 ) ( part 2 ) ( part 3 ) ( part 4 ) ( part 5 )

The following is based on a comment from a pro-spanker to Part 5 of my series. Spanking does not automatically mean you will have a bad relationship with your children. If you have not read my entire series, I highly recommend you do so. Remember, children are very forgiving and want to be in their parents’ good graces.

It is clear from the Hebrew translations that God does NOT want children to be spanked (hit).  Proverbs is Wisdom Literature.  It is not meant to be taken out of context.   The verse cited Hebrews 12:5-6 is not talking about physical punishment nor young children.  Yes, God disciplines us as His children.  Discipline means to TEACH.  God does not punish us.  Jesus rebuked His disciples, but He NEVER punished them.  Even after Peter denied Jesus, Jesus FORGAVE him!

31Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:
“‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
32 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

33 Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”
34 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

35 But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same”

-Matthew 26:31-35.

69 “Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.

70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”

73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.

75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly”

- Matthew 26:69-75.

15 “When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
John 21:15-19.

Jesus could have easily condemned Peter, but He did not!

Punishment does NOT teach young children proper behavior.  It teaches them to fear us.  The Bible makes it very clear that there is NO FEAR in LOVE.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”

1 John 4:18.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us”

1 John 4:7-12.

Young children do not understand being hit.  All it does is teaches that love hurts when I’m wrong.  As an early childhood professional, I have observed that modeling, redirection, natural and logical consequences, simple choices, and firm guidance work better to teach proper behavior than punishment.  Also, brain research shows that young children cannot control their impulses. Pro-spankers may  think it’s the spanking that is working, but aside from fear, brain development is one reason that older children need less spankings.  That is why I find it so interesting that Jewish rabbis absolutely FORBID the use of physical punishment for children 6 and under!!!

Interestingly, in the book of Matthew we see that Moses and Jesus’ lives parallel each other.  Moses and Jesus faced death as infants.  Both were tempted.  Both taught God’s Law to the people.  Both were taken up to Heaven after they finished God’s Will for their lives.  However, there’s one HUGE difference between Moses and Jesus!  Jesus is God and was (still is) on the move with His people.  Speaking of Jesus, “He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms” Luke 24:44.  While Moses could only write down the Law as God told Him to, Jesus fulfilled the Law of Moses for us!  Now the only thing we have to do to fulfill the Law of Christ is to Love the Lord, our God with all our soul, all our mind, all our strength, and all of our heart…And “Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” Matthew 22:39-40.  All Jesus truly requires of us after we repent of our sins and acknowledge Him as Savior is that we love God and others as He did.  That we follow after Him, dying to ourselves, picking up our crosses, and loving and serving each other just as He did!   To fulfill Law, we are to LOVE!

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law”

Romans 13:8.

“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” [Lev. 19:18]”

Galatians 5:14.

Also, Matthew 5-7 and Matthew 23-25 parallel Deuteronomy 27-30 as they both have blessings and woes to the people.   Moses then offers a promise in Deut. 30 that even if a curse comes upon them due to their sins, that God will still rescue them out of exile.  Jesus was the rescue!  He freed His people from exile.

Throughout the New Testament, we see Jesus rebuke the teachers of the Law for being hypocrites.  The teachers of the Law would rather observe the Law than help people as Jesus often did on the Sabbath.  ““Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to” Matthew 23:13.  People who spank children seem to be more concerned with the Law than with the love of Christ that fulfills the Law.  We need to love our children the way Christ commands us in order to fulfill the Law!

Another beautiful illustration of a parent actually doing as Jesus commanded is the story of the prodigal son.  Back in those days, it was very shameful for children to ask their parents for their inheritance before the death of the parents.  Yet, his father gave his younger son his share of the inheritance and allowed him to leave home.  After the son squandered his money, he decided to go back home even though he knew that he could never be treated as a son again because of what he had done to his father.  In the Jewish tradition, families would publically shame relatives for shaming them by breaking a pot to show that they had broken ties with the family.  So, the son prepared a speech for his father in the hopes of convincing his father to allow him to work as a servant on the family’s farm.  How did his father respond to his son’s returning?  Let’s look:

20 “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:20-32.

The father immediately forgave him and welcomed him back into his family!  He celebrated his son return.  He didn’t punish him or shame him.  He had compassion on him.  This is how God wants us to treat our children!

Finally, some pro-spankers say that we need to be God to our young children, I would be very hesitant to say that.  As humans, we cannot be God to anyone!  God is Holy!  He is the ONLY One who can be God to His children-including young children.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”

Philippians 2:1-4.

May we be blessed as we seek God’s Truth!

( Continued )

Spanking is NOT God’s Will by Steph is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.whynottrainachild.com.