Book Review – “Parenting In Christ” by Christina Dronen

Parenting in Christ: Treasures for Parenting from Jesus is a new book, written by Christina Dronen.  It is a lovely little study book, containing 10 short lessons, perfect for personal study or a small group setting. This is a very gentle book and respectful of children. I was quite impressed with these lessons and recommend the book highly.

I did, however, have some concerns about one point in the lesson on gratitude. She says, “Reserve your thanks to your children for the unexpected,” and proceeded to quote Luke 17:9-10.  “Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded? I think not. Even so you also, when you have done all the things that are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants. We have done our duty’”. It sounded to me as if she was saying that we should not even thank our children when they hand us something we asked for.  How would they learn to say, “thank you,” if we don’t model it?  So, I wrote to her for clarification and we had the following exchange:

Hermana Linda:

… I agree with everything except not thanking children for doing what they are supposed to. In our culture, it’s good to have the automatic, “thank you” response to everything. It’s a great habit, in my opinion. Maybe, not make a big deal of them doing what is expected, but a simple, “thank you” is just good modeling.

Christina Dronen:

I agree. I think some people over use it though.
I say thank you to them just the same as I would adults.
I’m trying to think of an example when I wouldn’t….

Hermana Linda

Ok, good. I’ll have to re-read that part, maybe I misunderstood it.
It sounded to me like you were saying that one should never thank them for doing what they are supposed to, like their chores, and obeying, etc.

Christina Dronen:

Things I wouldn’t recommend are “thanks for getting dressed” or any mundane everyday things they are already doing.
Maybe it’s more about not taking the intrinsic motivation away from them.
The things they are doing for themselves don’t need our thanks as if it’s for us.
And too much thanks turns into white noise.
I know i got the idea from Faber and Mazlish.

Hermana Linda

Ok, that makes more sense.

She tells me that she will be clarifying this in the next edition. I’m looking forward to that!

One of the things that really excites me about this book is that it is a great way to introduce the concept of gentle parenting.  Since spanking is not mentioned at all, it will probably not offend pro-spankers and could very well plant some seeds. I can see it going over very well at many churches. Why not suggest it as a small group study to yours?

It is available for purchase at Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle format.

Disclaimer: The author provided me a free copy of this book in order for me to review it.

About Hermana Linda
Hermana means sister in Spanish and Linda is my name. I was born in late 1960 to a mother who had traveled around the world and had been impressed at the baby wearing she saw in Africa and Japan. While in Japan she purchased the baby carrier in which she is wearing me in my avatar. By the grace of God, I trusted Jesus as my personal savior in 1983. He gave me a husband in 1987 and 2 sons in the early 1990's. All glory to God.

Speak Your Mind