Book Review – “Parenting In Christ” by Christina Dronen

Parenting in Christ: Treasures for Parenting from Jesus is a new book, written by Christina Dronen.  It is a lovely little study book, containing 10 short lessons, perfect for personal study or a small group setting. This is a very gentle book and respectful of children. I was quite impressed with these lessons and recommend the book highly.

I did, however, have some concerns about one point in the lesson on gratitude. She says, “Reserve your thanks to your children for the unexpected,” and proceeded to quote Luke 17:9-10.  “Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded? I think not. Even so you also, when you have done all the things that are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants. We have done our duty’”. It sounded to me as if she was saying that we should not even thank our children when they hand us something we asked for.  How would they learn to say, “thank you,” if we don’t model it?  So, I wrote to her for clarification and we had the following exchange:

Hermana Linda:

… I agree with everything except not thanking children for doing what they are supposed to. In our culture, it’s good to have the automatic, “thank you” response to everything. It’s a great habit, in my opinion. Maybe, not make a big deal of them doing what is expected, but a simple, “thank you” is just good modeling.

Christina Dronen:

I agree. I think some people over use it though.
I say thank you to them just the same as I would adults.
I’m trying to think of an example when I wouldn’t….

Hermana Linda

Ok, good. I’ll have to re-read that part, maybe I misunderstood it.
It sounded to me like you were saying that one should never thank them for doing what they are supposed to, like their chores, and obeying, etc.

Christina Dronen:

Things I wouldn’t recommend are “thanks for getting dressed” or any mundane everyday things they are already doing.
Maybe it’s more about not taking the intrinsic motivation away from them.
The things they are doing for themselves don’t need our thanks as if it’s for us.
And too much thanks turns into white noise.
I know i got the idea from Faber and Mazlish.

Hermana Linda

Ok, that makes more sense.

She tells me that she will be clarifying this in the next edition. I’m looking forward to that!

*Update* Christian Dronen wrote to me on Jan 11, 2018, saying:

Hey. Just thought I’d let you know my book has been updated. In terms of the part of book we discussed, here’s what I have now.

1. Clarify expectations. Expectations set the groundwork for thankfulness. Gratitude emerges naturally when kindness exceeds expectations. Be judicious with your use expressions of thankfulness. If you are saying “thank you” every few minutes, it becomes meaningless white noise. Mean it when you say it and say it when it is appropriate. Express your thanks to your children for the unexpected. “Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded? I think not. Even so you also, when you have done all the things that are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants. We have done our duty’” (Luke 17:9-10).

One of the things that really excites me about this book is that it is a great way to introduce the concept of gentle parenting.  Since spanking is not mentioned at all, it will probably not offend pro-spankers and could very well plant some seeds. I can see it going over very well at many churches. Why not suggest it as a small group study to yours?

It is available for purchase at Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle format.

Disclaimer: The author provided me a free copy of this book in order for me to review it.

About Hermana Linda
Hermana means sister in Spanish and Linda is my name. I was born in late 1960 to a mother who had traveled around the world and had been impressed at the baby wearing she saw in Africa and Japan. While in Japan she purchased the baby carrier in which she is wearing me in my avatar. By the grace of God, I trusted Jesus as my personal savior in 1983. He gave me a husband in 1987 and 2 sons in the early 1990's. All glory to God.

Comments

  1. Ann Wingert says:

    Protecting Children from Pedophiles

    I am hoping that you will help protect the children. VIRTUS training – How to spot a pedophile: They believe they are above the law; usually by claiming to follow God’s Law.

    I was a 50 year plus Roman Catholic watching the pedophile crisis in horror, especially when the previous entity in possession of the vatican compared women who want to be priests to pedophiles. Then the PA bishops ordered all the priests to blatantly lie about PA Bill 1947 which extended the statute of limitations on pedophiles. I complained to my local priest; who handed out the “Catholic’ League’s Essay “Women’s Moral Descent” with its theme that men have the right and moral obligation to decide which women deserve to be raped. I called my daughter at college, crying, saying that all the priests were depraved perverts totally dedicated to worshipping their dicks. Her response, “Duh, Mom!. I’m sorry you had to figure it out in such a painful way.” I fled the Church in terror and will never set foot in a Catholic Church again.

    Then it got even worse. I checked this with one of the Australian writing collaborators and the legal firm named in the movie “Spotlight.” Pre Benne Dick, I wouldn’t have believed any of this. Now, I believe every word.

    After fleeing in terror from the Church this year, I found the documented evidence. The Australian canon lawyers published two documents. The first is a legal report entitled “Canon Law – A Systemic Factor in Child Sexual Abuse in the Catholic Church.” (free download from National Catholic Reporter) The second is the lay version “Potiphar’s Wife.” (buy on line for real money) Both explain the Misprision of Felony laws that must be enacted to FORCE THE BISHOPS TO TURN THE RECORDS OVER TO POLICE.

    I knew that the incompetence of the Church over the pedophilia crisis and everything else could not possibly be accidental. It had to be deliberate. Both books are both enlightening and explained a lot of things I had seen in the Church that didn’t make a bit of sense before.

    37. 100 Years ago – RATHER THAN ADMIT THEY COULD BE CAPABLE OF MAKING A MISTAKE, AND FREAKED OUT BY THE THOUGHT OF RADIO, (remember the effect of the printing press) THE POPES WROTE CANON LAWS THAT EFFECTIVELY TURNED THE CHURCH INTO A ‘LEGAL’ WORLDWIDE, CHILD PROSTITUTION RING! – I.E. DETAILED DOCUMENTATION THAT THE MOST DANGEROUS MENTAL HANDICAP IS THE MALE EGO. (Confession is good for the soul, unless you are the pope, then it is a great evil.)
    May 27, 1917 was the 100 year anniversary of the beginning of ‘legal’ pedophilia in the Catholic Church; because that was the day that pedophilia became a “crime” with NO PUNISHMENT! DO NOT FORGET THAT THE VATICAN IS ITS OWN SEPARATE COUNTRY. On that day, the vatican decided that pedophilia wasn’t a crime IF NO ONE KNEW ABOUT IT. The law made secrecy about pedophilia paramount and all cases had to be handled directly by the vatican; which had no provisions for punishing them. The penalty for breaking the vow of silence was AUTOMATIC EXCOMMUNICATION.

    Both are useful tools to document how the vatican proudly and efficiently, effectively turned the Church into a legal, worldwide, child prostitution ring and the legal remedies that can be taken to stop them and force the bishops to turn over the records. (Now I see where Marino got the inspiration to create his legal drug pushing rings!) Misprision of felony was abolished in most jurisdictions. The canon law requires the bishops to obey civil law where THEY ARE LEGALLY REQUIRED TO REPORT. It is getting worse. Francis was all – We are a nation of pedophiles – in front of the UN.

    The vatican has proudly and effectively proclaimed that Christ is the Great Penis in the sky to which you must sacrifice children. I WILL LITERALLY BE DAMMED IF I WORSHIP THE GREAT PENIS IN THE SKY TO WHICH YOU MUST SACRIFICE CHILDREN!

    Coming soon – Men Explain Religion to Me – ie subverting God to promote rape, greed, xenophobia, homophobia, and pedophilia.

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