The teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl appear to be Biblical and logical on the surface, but research and experience has shown them to be otherwise. This web page is meant to be a clearing house of information and arguments against these teachings.
I started this page on July 27, 2004 with my arguments against the Pearls’ teachings, as well as my husband’s arguments and a few more arguments. I then started adding as many links as I could find.
I have continued to add information as I find it. Now, on March 9, 2010 I am joining the 21st century and moving my humble website to a fancy new WordPress blog. This would not have been possible without the help of Reb from Reb Web Design to whom I own a debt of gratitude.
If you want more information about me, here is what I believe and here is my personal webpage.
Do you have anything which belongs on this site? Please send any links or anything you have written to HermanaLinda@WhyNotTrainaChild.com. I will not post anything without the author’s permission.
You may also join this site. If you wish to contribute, please email me so I can change you from subscriber to contributor. You will then be able to submit work to me and should I chose to post it, your name will be on it.
I also have an RSS feed which you may use in any RSS reader.
This is utterly ridiculous. For those of you who are jumping on the bandwagon without reading the whole book you are really missing out on what God has intended for you and the joy you and your children can have. The bible clearly states, “he that spares the rod, spoils the child” If you do not spank your children then what exacltly is working for you? Do you have sweet children? Do they obey you the first time? Or do you have to count to ten and call them 10 times before exploding and yelling at them, those are the kind of people who end up “spanking” but really its abuse because they got so mad and really end up despising their children because they hate to be around them. People who spank there children in a calm manner and who are absolutely consistant 100 % of the time will have tremendous success. However you will not have success with any approach unless you yourself have true joy. Children know if you are faking it. Joy is the byproduct of thankfulness and love. Your joy radiates to your children. Michael Pearl also recomends spending so much time with your children, they are your first and foremost responsibility, they must know that you delight in there presence, get on there level, do what they enjoy, do somthing that makes them smile every 5 minutes. But does anyone say that on this website? There are many more things I could go on and say but those who really want to know more know where they can get the information. I would love to compare a houseful of “Michael Pearl” children who love and reverence him and are a great addition to society to the “non spanked” let them do what they want group, who is probably still working at jack in the box with numerous tattoos and peircings, pregnant at 15 and has no relationship with their parents.
Hello Crystal,
Welcome to my site. To answer your question, yes, I have read “To Train up a Child” and many of Michael Pearl’s articles. It would be impossible to argue against his teachings without reading them first. I mainly link to others’ arguments. I can’t say for how much everyone else has read, but I’m sure that they have read enough. I have testimonies from people who used to follow Pearl’s teachings and they have read even more than I. I encourage you to read the arguments and really try to understand what we are saying. We are not saying to not discipline. We are not encouraging anyone to call their children 10 times and then explode and yell. We encourage firm, consistent and gentle discipline. You might be surprised what you’ll learn here, if you stick around. May God bless you.
Crystal, I want you to know that I have responded to your comment in greater detail here.
“For those of you who are jumping on the bandwagon without reading the whole book”
Crystal, I’m happy to be able to inform you that this is not an accurate representation of the case. For just myself, for starters, my husband and I perused not only “Train Up,” but the three print volumes of NGJ newsletter articles, the website content, a few web clips, and several audio sermons.
I am a writer and editor who’s been published in The Old Schoolhouse and Homeschooling Today; my husband is the president of a Bible conference dedicated to Creation-to-Christ-style foundational biblical teaching, which is so often set aside in favour of entertainment and doctrinal indifference. It mattered to us to know for sure what the situation was.
“do you have to count to ten and call them 10 times before exploding and yelling at them”
No.
Now, I don’t assume your children are abused simply because you find useful material in the Pearls’ products. Let me just take the words you’ve used, because the circumstances line up: It’s unfortunate that this is the impression of those who have jumped on a bandwagon without “reading the whole book” of various parenting experiences, so to speak. I apologize if that sounds harsh, but I want to make the point that if premature judgment is wrong, it’s wrong on all sides.
I can understand why you would feel the need to speak strongly, when much of the outcry against NGJ has taken a vituperative tone, and some of it has been from those with strikingly different faith philosophies. But that is not the sum of the case.
I do not agree with calling people down for how they parent, regardless of their stance on the Pearls. Those I’ve come in contact with are not evil, abusive parents — on either side of the fence. They are people upset by the issues at hand, who are concerned for what’s right.
“Children know if you are faking it.”
Agree 100%.
“Michael Pearl also recomends spending so much time with your children, they are your first and foremost responsibility, they must know that you delight in there presence, get on there level, do what they enjoy, do somthing that makes them smile every 5 minutes.”
And this is good advice in and of itself, were it not underpinned by a very bad theology of conditioning (using both negative and the abovementioned positive techniques) for religious acquiescence towards an obedience theology rather than biblical salvation. I know that sounds truly horrible. I did not expect to find it the way it turned out to be. My husband and I were really grieved by what a thorough examination of NGJ materials brought to light as we wrote up the Parenting in the Name of God series.
“I would love to compare a houseful of “Michael Pearl” children who love and reverence him and are a great addition to society to the “non spanked” let them do what they want group”
If you browse the blogs linked here, you won’t have to wish in vain, as many of them have plenty of material on their family lives. I encourage you to go ahead and do exactly that, for the sake of understanding one another and hopefully edifying one another in the desire for closer conformity to Christ. Linda has made a point of linking specifically to arguments from those who identify Christian. Generally, I find that a look through a few blog entries allows me to determine whether I have overall doctrinal and parenting philosophy agreement.
God bless.