And When They Become Teenagers? Then What?

Cindy Foster of The Baptist Taliban blog explains why she no longer believes in spanking in, I’m Coming Out!

Along similar lines, Dara Stoltzfus has some interesting things to say about parenting teenagers in Spanking puts the parent in a bad autopilot mode…

And speaking of Dara, she also takes a very good look at the question, Does more spanking = less crime and delinquency?

A Look At Child Rearing In The Bible Lands

Samuel Martin looks at child-rearing in the Bible Lands both then and now in True Eastern Wisdom Is Coming West.

She Was Spanked And Is Not OK

Dara Stoltzfus shares another story which explains how she was Spanked and Did Not Turn Out Okay.

On a side-note, here is a pamphlet which discusses more ways in which spanked children may not turn out ok.

 

Don’t Make Children Lie

Last night, my husband and I watched, “The Andy Griffith Show,” and it was the one where Opie was having fun pretending to have a black horse named Blackie.  Andy, Opie’s dad, and Barney and Aunt Bea all had fun with this.  Well, Opie goes off into the woods and meets a lineman named, Mr. McBeevee.  Because Andy had played the Blackie game earlier, and well, since Mr. McBeevee is a rather strange name, Andy doesn’t believe Opie when Opie tells him that this is a real man who really gave Opie a hatchet and then a quarter.  When Andy takes Opie out to the woods to meet this Mr. McBeevee guy, Mr. McBeevee just happens to get called away, making Opie look like a big liar.

When Opie and Andy get home, Opie knows he’s in trouble and Andy is prepared to spank Opie.  [Read more…]

Anger and Repression

Dara Stoltzfus considers anger and how children are forced to repress it.  Many parents feel that it is best to teach their children to repress their anger.  Those parents will typically not understand why repressing anger is unhealthy because they misunderstand the Bible.  You can try to explain it to them, but they will rarely listen.  Once they are sure that they understand the Bible, they refuse to even consider that they might be wrong.  Dara discusses that mindset in another recent post.

Why Liz BR Does Not Spank

Liz Boltz Ranfeld explains why she and her husband Don’t Spank Their Kid in a well thought out post.  She has 5 main reasons which are fleshed out and explained.

1) Her child’s personality

2) Research

3) Occasional spanking so often turns into frequent spanking.

4) She’s not allowed to hit another adult; why should she be allowed to hit a child?

5) The scriptural support for corporal punishment is disturbing.

New Site: “20” Reasons Not To Spank

When Dara Stoltzfus made a blog post entitled, “20 Reasons Not To Spank,” she found that it kept growing. It got so large that she ended up creating a new site entirely for that post. She is now up to 119 reasons… so far. Without further ado, I bring you, “20” Reasons Not To Spank, the website.

Dara Explains Natural Consequences

Note from Hermana Linda: Pam continues to ask thought provoking questions about how one can raise children without spanking. In This comment, she asks,

What do you mean by natural consequences? I think some of those are what I hoped for my children to avoid and why I view some punishment as a necessary part of discipline. Am I misunderstanding?

Dara Stoltzfus answered her question so well, I have asked her to reproduce her comment here. (Dara, I think I speak for everyone when I say, please don’t apologize for your many insightful words. ) [Read more…]

Sylvia’s Thoughts On Spanking

Sylvia shares her testimony and Her Thoughts On Spanking in this post.

Why Rosemary Has Chosen Not To Spank

Rosemary shares “a collection of thoughts on why – especially the Biblical reasons why –” They’ve Chosen Not To Spank.

If You were Spanked, Are You Really OK?

Dara Stoltzfus asks those who were spanked if they are really okay.  Her questions are sure food for thought.

She also looks at how children develop trust that God hears us.  The answer might surprise you.

Discipline VS Neglect

Note from Hermana Linda: We appreciate getting comments and read every one.  This comment from Pam is so long that Steph decided to respond in a post, so here it is.

Hi Steph,
Though I don’t consider myself to be “pro” spanking, I am pro-discipline, and I do believe that infrequent spanking can be part of an over-all discipline plan, when done properly and with love. I have raised two boys and I have two grandsons. I’ve also, taught children and volunteered to work with children in many circumstances. I care about kids and child abuse is a deep concern of mine. I was an abused child, in the forms of medical neglect, emotional neglect, emotional abuse, emotional incest, and sexual abuse by a predator. I also, found myself in several abusive situations as an adult and I agree that children are born with natural ways of standing up for themselves that shouldn’t be taken from them. We all need to be able to protect ourselves. I also, believe that children can be defiant and they need help in learning to use defiance as a way to protect themselves and not as a means of ending up in prison. Part of the neglect I experienced as a child had to do with discipline. I don’t remember any spankings but I was allowed to eat only candy to the point of having fillings in all of my teeth by the time I was six (I also, had abscesses) and all of my teeth falling out by the third grade. My parents excuse this by blaming it on me and my refusal to eat so, they let me eat what I wanted and all I wanted was candy. I was also, sick a lot and they gave me alcohol as medication, I think it put me to sleep and I was less of a bother. The first time they gave me too much and made me drunk was when I was cutting my first teeth. They’ve always told this as a such a funny story… [Read more…]

How Will They Learn Without Spankings?

Dara Stoltzfus considers the question, “How will kids learn if you don’t give them consequences?” as she again looks at training dogs.

Mothering By Grace Reviews Shepherding A Child’s Heart

I just found this excellent review of Tedd Tripp’s Book, Shepherding A Child’s Heart at Mothering By Grace.

Bringing Out The Best In Our Children

Sara Mae shares how spanking was affecting her 2 1/2 year old’s self esteem and why she and her husband decided to stop in How Gentleness Makes Our Children Great.

Dara Stoltzfus also has noticed the importance of  a child’s self-worth and explains how we can encourage their inner beauty in Princes and Princesses on the Inside.

 

 

Reasons Not To Spank

Dara Stoltzfus has been thinking about Euphemisms as she gives us 20 Reasons not to Spank.

And for more food for thought from Dara, check out her thoughts on Abortion: A private matter?

Is Defiance Real?

I have been thinking a lot about defiance lately.  Is it real when it comes to young children?  Most parents would emphatically answer, “Yes” to this question.  I am not so sure though.  According to dictionary.com, defiance is defined as “A daring or bold resistance to authority or to any opposing force.”  To me, this means being able to stand up for what we believe is right.  This is usually a good thing.  Yet, when people discuss children as being “defiant,” it is always viewed as a very negative thing.  In fact, most Christian pro-spankers tell parents to spank/hit children mainly for “defiance.”

Are young children truly being “defiant” when they refuse to do something we want or say, “No!” to us?  I tend not to think so.  Why?  Because defiance is very subjective.  What one person views as “defiance,” another person views as developmentally appropriate behavior or an indicator that something much deeper is going on within the child.  See, to judge whether or not children are being “defiant,” we must look into their hearts.  Only God can do this.  [Read more…]

Children as Sinners?

Samuel Martin has the following to say about his essay, O Wretched Child that I am.

This text may be the most important New Testament scripture for those parents who have small children – I Corinthians 2:11. “For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?” – Why? Read why here!

He also said this about the same post:

“At one year of age, man is a king, fondled and doted upon by all. At two and three he is a pig, groping in the garbage. At ten he prances around like a kid. At twenty he is a horse, preening himself in search of a wife.” – This post covers a lot of ground surrounding Paul’s view of himself and how we can especially relate that issue to how we view our children.

He also has an interesting look at child rearing in Biblical times:
One day we won’t have to keep them so close, but until then: Hang on tight – Part One
One day we won’t have to keep them so close, but until then: Hang on tight – Part Two

Fruits Of Not Spanking

Dara Stoltzfus writes about the compassion of a child who was never spanked in Tori Story: More fruit of not spanking/hitting my kids .

Along the same line she writes about the difference between those who have become inured to violence and the child who has never been hit and is therefore shocked by violence in Reacting to violence: “Been there done that”.

Parallels Between Training Children and Training Dogs?

Dara Stoltzfus has 2 recent posts of interest.

In Michael Pearl is right about training kids like dogs! she discusses pain and it’s usefulness in training children and dogs.

In Crying over a Spanish Soap Opera!!! she discusses how raising children by learned traditions instead of by science and truth can damage them.

The Christian and The Explosive Child

Wendy at Practical Theology for Women shares A Christian Perspective on the Explosive Child.  In this post  she recommends the very helpful book, The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene.

I see that she also has her own Rod Study as well as a look at Discipline vs. Punishment.

Would Jesus spank?

Flowermama looks at the question, “Would Jesus Spank?” As she looks at the Character of God as revealed in Scripture, her answer is, no. Of course, she does touch on the Rod of Proverbs.

Speaking of the Proverbial Rod, Tia Lynn looks at the question, Are The Rod Verses Literal or Figurative? Excellent post, I don’t know how it has taken me so long to find it.

Obedience and Fear

Do your children fear getting in trouble?  Dara Stoltzfus shows us how dangerous it can be for children to fear their parents in a *very* sensitive post. Honestly, I wish I had never read this post.  It is so disturbing that I will just summarize it for the sensitive.  A 9 year old girl put herself into the worse situation imaginable because she was more afraid of getting in trouble than she was of a stranger. Horrific.  Why would a child who had done nothing wrong be afraid to go home and instead seek refuge with a stranger?  Please don’t allow your children to be afraid of you.  Even a child who has done something wrong should not be afraid of their parents.  Perfect love casts out all fear.

So, how should we get our children to obey?  Please see what MamaPsalmist has to say about  Obedience.

More Thoughts About the Rod in Proverbs

Claire from Dare to Disciple has some thoughts about the Rod of Correction in Proverb 23:11.

 

Pain and Punishment

Dara Stoltzfus looks at pain and whether or not is is useful for teaching.

The Ways In Which We Argue About Spanking

Carissa Robinson looks at the various was of Arguing About Spanking.

Afraid of a World Run By Adults Who Were Never Spanked?

Have you seen the Facebook meme about being afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked?  Well, Dara Stoltzfus Imagines such a world.

More Reasons Not to Spank

Joy explains Why She Doesn’t Spank Her Children Anymore.

Samuel Martin Looks at What The Bible Says About Spanking

Samuel Martin takes a look at what the Bible says about spanking in Christian Scholars and Preachers Disagree on Spanking Children.

Learning Forgiveness

Many Christians teach that children must be punished for their misbehavior in order to learn. But what do they learn?  Do they need to be punished in order to forgive themselves? Dara Stoltzfus looks at what the Bible teaches about forgiveness and punishment in How to Teach Forgiveness.