More Court Cases Involving Abused Adopted Children

I have been watching 2 very sad cases in the news since October 2012.  I have not mentioned them before now because neither of them seem to be following any particular extreme teaching.  They are both about Christian adoptive parents who apparently tried to control their adoptive children using adversarial parenting and corporal punishment and ended up almost killing them and are now being tried for abuse.

The first case is the case of Douglas and Kristen Barbour in Franklin Park, PA. He is a Deputy Attorney General. They are accused of abusing and starving their 2 children adopted from Ethiopia. They recently regained custody of their biological children.  There was mention in this article of their defense lawyer saying that they “did their best to cope with the children’s extraordinary needs.”  Update: They were going to do a deposition of the 5 year old but decided against it.

The other case is the case of the Russel and Mona Hauer. The Hauers live in North Mankato, MN. It appears that their adversarial parenting caused them to starve their 8-year-old adopted son. They took him to the hospital severely malnourished and weighing only 35 lbs. Part of this was because of existing problems the boy had and part was their failure to get help and their way of trying to control the situation. In a news story published today, I see that their parental rights over this child have been terminated. There is a quote in this story which I find very interesting:

[The judge] said the Hauers failed to follow professional advice on services he needed and how to address behavioral challenges. He also faulted them for their “aversion to traditional health care beliefs and practices,” and said their “highly moralistic” efforts to correct his behavior were the opposite of what he needed.

This very much suggests to me that there is Christian corporeal punishment and adversarial parenting involved so I decided that it was time to at least bring these to your attention.  I will continue to update this post as seems appropriate.

I should probably mention poor little Rodrick Arrington in Las Vegas here.  He was not adopted, but it was his step father who beat him to death while his mother helped.  I’m very unsure of this case, but certainly adversarial parenting and corporeal  punishment came into play.  But then, they do in all abuse cases and there are hundreds every year.  :-(   The purpose of this blog is not to discuss undisputed abuse.  It is to discuss abusive teachings which many loving and sane parents are not recognizing as abuse and to give Biblical arguments against such teachings.  That is why this post is categorized as “blog.” Because it is technically off topic and does not quite fit into any of my categories. Although, I admit that I’m seeing a grey area and might end up changing my mind about that at some point. I just don’t see anyone defending any of these abuse cases or denying that is is abuse, except the defendants and their lawyers.

Samuel Martin Still Trying To Open Dialog With Pro-Spankers

Samuel Martin continues to try to dialog with pro-spankers.  I’m not sure why he is having such a hard time finding someone who will take him up on this challenge.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I am linking to this excellent post by Hippy Housewife about Breastfeeding, Modesty and the Church.

For more about breastfeeding, see my Christian Breastfeeding Links.

Samuel Martin Wants Women’s Input

In Samuel Martin’s latest blog post: Women’s Intuition and Corporal Punishment: Did you feel intuitively that spanking/smacking your children was wrong? he asks women to go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/5DQ6M3B and give him your input.

Punishment

Sarah at Under The Olive Branch shares a very thought provoking quote about punishment.

While you are there, check out her love story The Restoration of All Things.

Seeking Pro-Spankers

Samuel Martin has posted the following on Facebook:

I want to connect with fundamentalist Christians advocating spanking kids who are willing to read my book with the view to show me how I am in error in my findings – So far all of the people who I have connected with have yet to give me specific written critique of my work, except one and that person did not even end up totally disagreeing with my work. Please if you have any connections with people who would be interested in seeing learning advanced, help me connect with those parties so we can start a greater debate on this issue. Hope to hear from you – info@biblechild.com

Please have interested parties email him at info@biblechild.com or use his Contact Form.

Giving Thanks

As you probably know, today is the day set aside in the United States for giving thanks to God.  Therefore, I would like to devote today’s post to doing just that.

First of all, I am very thankful to God for my life and my salvation which  He has given me  instead of what I deserved.

I am also thankful for my family, friends and church.

I am thankful for Gentle Christian Mothers for teaching me a more healthy way of thinking and for the fellowship there.  If it were not for Gentle Christian Mothers, this blog would not exist.

I am thankful for Rebecca who convinced me to allow her to make this blog for me.  Without her this blog would still be nothing but a webpage.

I am thankful for my writers and for all the bloggers to whom I have linked, without them this blog would be small indeed.

And, of course, I am thankful for my readers, without them there would be no purpose for this blog.

All the glory to God.

NoGreaterJoy.info

I have great news!  A like-minded person purchased the domain http://nogreaterjoy.info a while ago and after not getting around to making the site finally found mine.  By the grace of God, that URL now redirects to this one.  So, if anyone finds WhyNotTrainAChild.com hard to remember, they can give out NoGreaterJoy.info instead.    :-D

By the way, if that url gets enough sites linking to it, it will show up on the first page of a Google search for “No Greater Joy.”  ;-)

In other news, Steph is working on her next series, The Effects of Spanking.    Please pray that God will be glorified and that He will use her series to help children and their families.

Danger of False Teachers

Every now and then I get a comment telling me that I am assisting the enemy by speaking badly about other Christians.  As I said in a recent comment,  I do not speak badly about other Christians, I offer Biblical Arguments against False Teachings.  And now, Glenn from The Watchman’s Bagpipes, explains why False Teachers are dangerous and must be publicly denounced. 

Note:  As far as Glenn’s list of false teachers goes, I have not read his posts about each one which I am sure contain his reasons for branding them as such. If you have questions about his list, please search his blog for his reasons.

Hildebrant’s Word Study of Proverbs 22:6a “To Train Up A Child.”

Here is a link to Ted Hildebrant’s article in the Grace Theological Journal 9.1 (1988) 3-19,  Proverbs 22:6a; To Train Up A Child? which analyses what “To Train Up A Child” really means.

Here is a short quote from the intro:

Careful consideration of lexical and contextual factors suggests that “train up a child in the way he should go” needs to be reexamined. The verb “to train” really refers to a bestowal of status and responsibility.  The noun translated “child” denotes the status of a late adolescent rather than a child.  “In the way he should go” is best understood as “according to what is expected.”   The original intent then of this verse addresses a late adolescent’s entrance into his place in adult society.

As he did not study the word for Rod, this article does not change his ideas about spanking. He does, however, come to the conclusion that the verse does not advocate early childhood training.   He also reminds us that it is a Proverb, not a promise, which is something to keep in mind.

His final conclusion is this:

The parent must not violate the adolescent’s personhood by authoritarian domination, permissive allowance of immaturity, or overprotection from the consequences of his actions.

I must make note of the fact that his Hebrew words were transliterated Right to Left so that they read, “backwards” for us. If you want to read a better version of this article, you may read it here, but you will have to subscribe to the site first.

Review of “Yell and Tell”

The Christian Post has a review of Debi Pearl’s Yell and Tell series.  This is a positive review but unlike most I’ve seen, they don’t promote her other books nor link to their website.   I wonder if they are aware of the controversy around them.

For another opinion on the series, see TulipGirl’s review. Hers is the 3rd on the page at this time.

Merry Christmas

Today we celebrate the greatest wonder of all.  God came down to Earth, clothed in human flesh in order  to pay for our sins.  In honor of this day, I would like to share this poem that my sister in Christ wrote.

The greatest gift was given so many nights ago,
he came to us lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
He could have came as royalty as he deserved
but yet he choose this path because he came to serve.

So when your life gets weary and you feel you been pushed to the test.
Remember Jesus and the life he lived at best.
He gave with all he had, and never stopped till death.

He could have snubbed his nose at those with crippled feet,
he could have said he was too good for stopping to cleanse another’s feet.
Yet he did so lovingly and showed us how to truly love.
He showed us the example to love one another and serve each other.

So this Christmas just remember as you unwrap each gift.
The greatest gift has been given.
As you enjoy each treasure here on earth,
just ponder what a greater reward lies in heaven
for those who love this man.
As you sit down to reflect on all that you have.
Glance around at your family and be thankful for their love.

Thank the Lord for every good thing in your life and stop to ask what you can do.
To serve one another for this is very true.
Humble yourself as the babe that came that Christmas morning.
Look around the world and see what you can do.

Let the spirit of Christmas remain through out the year.
Don’t leave it in December when the lights are on the tree.
Carry this season with you through the year.

Merry Christmas everyone
—Heather Joy Maynard 2010

Human Rights Violations from the TSA.

Not that I fly often, but there is no way I would fly now. Have you heard about these atrocities? Were you aware that if you fly, your choices are to go through a scan which lets someone view very graphic scans of your unclothed body (as well as exposing you to radiation) OR allow someone to touch your intimate areas? While I have no plans to fly soon, I am shocked and horrified for my brethren who do have to fly. It sickens me that so many people are accepting of this and I appreciate everyone who is speaking out. I am adding my voice here. This is just wrong and must be stopped.  TSA says that they are receiving very few complaints.  Probably few people know how to complain.  Let’s get the word out.  Anyone who has a complaint should read this.

Here is an article which explains how hard it is for the TSA staff involved as well as highlighting some abuses.

Here is an article comparing TSA staff with the Milgram Experiment.

Here is a first person account of a man who experienced the “enhanced pat down.”  He says that if he were a woman he would have felt violated.

Here is an article about how a sanitary towel prompted TSA to grope a sexual abuse survivor.

Here is an article about how a  mother was held in a glass cage for almost an hour for resisting over breastmilk.

Here is a reminder  of what we teach our children about Saying No to inappropriate touching. How can we reconcile this advice with what TSA is doing? TSA says that they will no longer search a child under 13. I hope they all will honor that guideline and not make up their own rules (as they did with the breastmilk guidelines), but what about our teenagers?


Happy Thanksgiving

Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul
Thank you, Lord, for making me whole
Thank you, Lord, for giving to me
Thy great salvation, so full and free.

This old chorus expresses well the first and main reason for my thankfulness. I am also thankful for so much more.

I am thankful for my life, for my family and for the way God is using me.

I am thankful for this blog and the many people who have let me know that God has used it to help them.  It never fails to humble and amaze me when I see that God is using me in this way.

I am thankful for Rebecca Diamond who God used in a mighty way to allow me to move this site to Word Press. I am also thankful for everyone else who God has used to build this blog by writing for me or allowing me to link to the words which God has laid on their hearts.

And, of course, I am thankful for my readers whom God has used to share my posts so that more might learn.

Thank you.  <3

Psychology and the Christian Mindset

JeriWho has written a very interesting blog about Psychology and The Fundamentalist Christian at Blog On The Way.  Her premise is that while rejecting Psychology for being “atheistic, Darwinistic, and utterly secular,” they tend to embrace behaviorism which is also atheistic and unbliblical.  She makes some very good points here and gives much food for thought.

Why churches are failing

Thriller Author has written a blog post at HubPages called Why Churches Are Failing.

This is a rather harsh wake up call for all Christians to consider and I believe that it is warranted. The Pearls’ teachings are mentioned in passing along with Ezzo’s.

I don’t know exactly what these HubPages are but I notice that they also have a positive review of To Train Up A Child. Needless to say, I do not agree with her conclusions of this book. It looks like members of this Hub can vote for the pages and affect their ratings. Hmmmm . . .

For more realistic reviews of To Train Up A Child, please see my list of reviews.

The Pearls Take On Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse

I feel obligated to post the information that the Pearls are working on a new book about protecting children from sexual abuse.   Debi Pearl posted that info on her blog at http://www.debipearl.com/blogs/blog/1740302-cultivating-cautious-chicks-protecting-children-from-predators.  I found this post through my Google Alerts which hit a thread on Free Jinger about how said blog post was altogether wrong in its information about chickens. http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/2475/t/Pearls–Writing–New-Book—Know—Chickens–Children.html

I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about this news.  I believe that many of their teachings do make a child vulnerable to abuse and therefore is is good that they are addressing that.  I hope that the advice they give turns out to be useful advice and will end up protecting children rather than hurting them more as much of their advice does.


Update: Debi Pearl is releasing a children’s book designed to prepare and protect children from sexual molestation and it actually looks pretty good.

Update Nov 2010: The book, Samuel Learns To Yell And Tell has been released.   Here is TulipGirl’s review of the book.  If you are not familiar with TulipGirl, please see my sidebar for a link to her site.

Woman In The Hands of God

C. L. Dyck of Scita Scienda has started a new Bible Study series about being a women called, Woman In The Hands of God.

She does not yet have an index for this series, but she does have a tag.  So you can find the entire series so far by using the Woman In The Hands Of God Tag.

Gravatar

If you are posting here or on many other WordPress blogs and have wondered how to get a custom avatar, just go to Gravatar.com and make one. If you don’t, you will get some kind of placeholder, usually a mosaic or a monster.

Parenting Gems

Signs of Life blog warns us about the Pearls’ teachings and offers some Parenting gems as an alternative.

Cover art

Scita > Scienda is asking for your help in choosing the  cover art for their book, Parenting in the Name of God.

In other news, here is an article from the Paradise Post about the upcoming court hearing today.  I’m sure there will be more news to come, which I will post separately.  Note:  When this article is no longer available on the web, the summary will still be here.

Rebellion

Pastor Matthew Raley looks at “rebellion versus God-led character formation” in The R-Word.

(A big thank you to C.L. Dyck for the link and the wording for this post.)

Blog

I have been trying to figure out how to use this site.  As you may or may not know, I have moved into this blog from my old website at a time when it was down.  A dear friend helped me to take this step. <3   I have moved my old links over and am trying to arrange them to make them easier to find and use.  Also, as this was meant to be a place to find Christian arguments, I need to decide which links do not serve that purpose and remove them.

It has occurred to me that people who subscribe to my feed do not know when I add a link since I have been adding to existing posts.  Of course, I add them to the Facebook page, but I realize that not everyone has or wants access to that.  ;) Therefore, I have decided to start this blog section.  When I add a new link, I’ll announce it on the blog as well as adding it to the existing post.

Edited to add: I don’t use this blog that way anymore. I now just add new links and use the categories and tags to order them. It took me a while to really understand how to use this site.

Edited to add: I am using the Blog category for anything which does not fall under one of the other categories.

Pearl’s TV interview has been canceled

It looks like the interview has been shelved indefinitely.  It’s quite likely that all the calls and emails caused CBS to rethink this and/or decide to expand the story.  They will cover the story, but are saving the interview for a later time.  It looks like they want time to investigate this more.

NoGreaterJoyChildren is on their email list and always has the latest news.

Please read Spunky’s blog post on this.