Remembering Sean

Tulipgirl reminds us that it has been ten years since we lost Sean.

Is it good parenting to let a baby cry?

It is always so sad to see letting a little baby cry be associated with doing what’s best for the child. Science proves otherwise and so does the Bible. I do not see anywhere in the Bible where it teaches that it is good to let a baby cry. On the contrary, God associates Himself with loving arms and full breasts meeting a baby’s needs.

Here are some of my other posts about Crying It Out.

“Life with Cerebral Palsy” with Stephanie Cox

Dara Stoltzfus has started a new series about our very own Steph called, “Life with Cerebral Palsy” with Stephanie Cox.

Here is what she has so far:

Introduction

The Chair!

Back to School!

The Holidays

New Things!

Love

$hopping

Ronan the horse

About Typing With My Nose

What’s on my mind? You know, CP is a very small part of who I am. I am extremely blessed to be alive let alone living an as “normal” as possible life…Something I dreamed about since I was little. I could be profoundly mentally disabled due to no oxygen for 40 minutes at birth. I am blessed typing with my nose allows me to communicate when I otherwise would not be able to. So, the news is going to make somewhat of a big deal of me typing with my nose. Nobody but me knows how much work that is. No, I do not focus on my CP and I felt that is evident in my news segment. They talked about for a few seconds then moved on because I was focused more on my book. There are many children like me who are being told they’ll never accomplish their dreams and goals as I was told EVERY DAY throughout my life, especially in high school. I was strong-willed and took Psychology my first semester of college instead of the computer class I was suppose to take because I can type with my nose. Thankfully, my mom, and hubby supported me. It was so obvious my heart was with young children as it had always been since I was a young child myself. This is where God wants me; helping people treat children as human beings. But a part of that is bringing awareness about disability. If one child isn’t left to cry-it-out or spanked/hit or sent to an isolating time-out because someone read or saw an author who types with her nose, then God has accomplished His Will through me. If a child or adult with a disability sees or hears about an author who typed a book with her nose and has a Master’s Degree and gets some much needed hope, something I and my family could have used sooooo many times throughout my childhood, then God has accomplished His Will through me. Getting this book out is one of the hardest things ever. We get weary, tired, scared, but it’s worth it. This is NOT about ME! It’s about God and children.

Korrine Looks At The Damaging Effects Of Spanking

Korrine Britton explains how the cognitive development of  2 and 3 year olds makes them appear to be lying in Parenting: Two to Three Years.

For more from this series which explains the damaging effects of spanking on children through the years, you will want to check out:
Parenting: Newborn to 12 months
Parenting: 1 to 2 years

It’s Good To Be Back

So, I guess many of you noticed that this blog was down from Tuesday, November 19 at 1:00 PM PST until today.  I’m sorry to disappear without warning, but the truth is that I did not even know about it until 2 hours after it happened.

I did notice on Monday the 18th that my traffic had gone up ten-fold, but I did not know that my host would pull the plug over that.  They put up with it for what I assume was 24 hours and then advised us that they had placed a temporary block on the account because “This account was found to be consuming an inordinate amount of processor time, to the point of degrading overall system performance. While we do limit each account to no more than 25% of a system’s CPU in our terms of service, we do not actively disable accounts until they greatly exceed that number, which is what happened in this case.” Wow. [Read more…]

Samuel Martin Explains About Biblical Times

Samuel Martin is trying to help people understand the difference in how people thought in Biblical times and now because this is crucial to understanding the Bible.

He discusses Michael’s book, To Train Up A Child in Should we preach? publish?, or proclaim the Gospel – Yes? No? Maybe?

He also has a post on Dara Stoltzfus’ blog about Gender Space in Biblical Times which I believe you will find interesting.

 

Why Not Regulate Homeschoolers?

I was asked in the comments to my post, The Beast Look At  Homeschooling, why I believe that regulation of homeschooling is a slippery slope and what would be appropriate oversight to prevent abuse.

My opinion is that parents are responsible for their children, the state is not. I do not believe that the state should take charge of children unless there is a dire circumstance such as obvious abuse. I do not believe that the state should be checking on children in order to make sure that they are not being abused. In order to simplify my thoughts, let’s consider the following. [Read more…]

Unexpected Dangers: Crossfit and Lime Juice

Those who are familiar with this blog know that it is possible to spank a child until s/he is overcome by Rhabdomyolysis. This is exactly what killed Lydia Schatz and almost killed her sister, Zariah.  Well, it  has come to my attention that adults have been known to inflict themselves with Rhabdomyolysis by excessive exercise. *jaw dropping in shock*

This is not just an isolated incident, either. If you perform an internet search on the term, “Crossfit Rhabdomyolysis” you will find quite a few personal testimonies as well as news stories.  I find this very disturbing and something of which people need to be made aware.  Hopefully, this information will encourage those who are in such exercise programs to remember not to overdo it.

Speaking of unexpected danger, I also came across a warning about children getting horrible, blistering burns from the sun due to lime juice.

Steph Needs Input From Parents

Steph is a graduate student working on her Master’s thesis on the topic of corporal punishment. If you are a parent, please consider helping her by taking this survey.

By taking this survey, I hereby give my consent to participate in the following research study conducted by Steph. I understand that my participation in this project will involve questions about my experiences, attitudes and feelings regarding the use of corporal punishment and other discipline techniques. I understand that completing the questionnaire will take me no longer than 20-30 minutes.

Participation is completely voluntary and I am free to not respond to any item and to withdraw my consent from the study at any time. I understand that there is no penalty for refusal to participate or withdraw from the study.

I understand my answers will be completely anonymous. My name will not be identified with any data collected in the study and responses will be considered for confidential research use only.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/3C98FNH

Note: The survey has been completed, thank you for your participation.

Williams -Trial Day 18: Testimony of Immanuel’s Foster Mother

Wed, August 21,2013 saw  Immanuel’s foster mother on the stand.  KiroTV has that story (not for the sensitive.)  Interestingly, Defense brought up that Imanuel had been abusive towards the foster mother’s daughter.  I guess they are trying to prove that he is just a bad child, but what they really proved is that he was abused.  (How that works is graphically illustrated by this powerful and triggering Ad Campaign from Mexico. )

Here is the story from the Skagit Valley Herald which discusses foster mother’s testimony as well as the issues which were brought up in regards to Immanuel’s first interviews after Hana’s Death. The defense asserts that interviews planted ideas in the “highly suggestible” boy’s head.  She seems to forget that the testimony of the biological children backed up pretty much everything that Immanuel said.

Here is a large, comprehensive story in the British Newspaper, The Daily Mail.

Williams Trial – Day 17: Carri’s Interview With The Sheriff

As usual the testimony for Tuesday, Aug 20, 2013 is not for the sensitive.   The sheriff who interviewed Carri just hours after Hana’s death took the stand and played a recording of the interview.  Carri was not emotional and the big headline of the day is that she blamed Hana for her own death.  She also told the sheriff that Hana was the healthiest person in the family.  Apparently, the fact that Hana had lost 30% of her body weight did not raise any red flags with her.  She also, apparently, forgot about Hana’s Hepatitis B (the  reason they give for making her use a port-a-potty.)

The other development of the day was that Larry William’s Defense tried to subpoena the Prosecuting Attorney, Rich Weyrich, as a witness.  The reason for this was that when Hana’s cousin (who was flown in to testify about Hana’s age) missed his flight back to Ethiopia, Rich Weyrich took evidence out of his hotel room and kept it for 3 days before turning it in.  As prospective witnesses are not allowed to be in the courtroom, this would have made him unable to act the part of Prosecuting Attorney.  The judge ruled that the evidence in question had nothing to do with the case and did not allow him to be barred from the courtroom.

Here is the story from the Skagit Valley Herald. Updated: Here is another story with much more info.  It also goes into the testimony of a church member who fosters the Williams children for a while and how one of the older boys did not allow his little sister to go swimming because he found the one piece swimsuit to be too revealing.  Incredibly enough, she stated that the same boy had said  that Hana was fat.

And here is the story from KiroTV.

For more details, live as it happens, check out #Williamstrial on Twitter.   You will probably want to click “All.”  It took me a while to notice that and I was only seeing “Top.”

Also, Maureen has a post about the article in the Seattle Times which includes a wrap up of Immanuel’s testimony.

Williams Trial – Day 15: Testimony of Joseph Williams

Today, August 16, 2013,  Joseph Williams (16) took the stand.  He had a really hard time remembering things and got very emotional.  Testifying against their parents is so very hard for these children.   This is where I see a big difference between the Williams parents and the Schatz parents.  The Schatz parents accepted a plea bargain partly in order to spare their children from testifying, according to this article in the Chico Enterprise Record.  The other reason for accepting the plea bargain was to make sure that Mrs. Schatz served a shorter sentence.  The prosecutor believed that the jury would not have found Mrs. Schatz guilty of murder as she was clearly under her husband’s control.  However, in the article, it is clear that Mrs. Schatz is very remorseful. What a contrast with Mr. and Mrs. Williams!  I have seen no remorse from the Williams’, nor compassion for their children.  On top of that, they have different lawyers and do not quite appear to be on the same team.

Here is the story from Kiro TV.  Again, this is hard to watch and is not for the very sensitive.

Here is the story from the Skagit Valley Herald.   Heartbreaking.  The infractions for which the adopted children were punished is just unbelievable.  The idea of of a child in a family “stealing food” is just foreign to me.

Also, today was the first time a witness had been asked about the book, To Train Up A Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl.  Joseph said that they had the book, but he had not read it.

Also, Judge Susan Cook has given up on any predictions for a end to the trial and told the jury to be prepared to be there through the 2nd week of September.

 

Williams Trial – Day 10: Immanuel Testifies for the 4th time (and more links)

The 2 eldest Williams boys will not face charges and will therefore be able to testify, according to an article in today’s Skagit Valley Herald.

In another article, the Skagit Valley Herald reports that Immanuel testified today that Carri and the biological children seemed to be laughing at Hana as she stumbled around outside.  This piece of information certainly adds insult to injury.  In this article we also learn that one of the defense lawyers was having some issues with the word choices being made by Immanuel’s translators and has subpoenaed one of them along with the victim’s advocate to testify some time in the future.

More about Immanuel’s testimony from KiroTV.  I am shocked and horrified at how the defense attorneys are treating that poor child!

I also know from Gina Cole’s tweets that the family doctor testified today that he saw nothing amiss.  He also did not see the adopted children after July 2010.

Edited to add:  Here is a new article from the Skagit Valley Herald with more information about today (Thurs, Aug 8, 2013.)

Rally Ethics For Orphans & at-Risk Minors (REFORM) has been keeping track of every detail of this tragic case and has it all neatly laid out in chronological order in 2 parts:

Part I – Before the start of the trial
Part II – The trial

Maureen has a poignant post about Hana’s hair.

More Court Cases Involving Abused Adopted Children

I have been watching 2 very sad cases in the news since October 2012.  I have not mentioned them before now because neither of them seem to be following any particular extreme teaching.  They are both about Christian adoptive parents who apparently tried to control their adoptive children using adversarial parenting and corporal punishment and ended up almost killing them and are now being tried for abuse.

The first case is the case of Douglas and Kristen Barbour in Franklin Park, PA. He is a Deputy Attorney General. They are accused of abusing and starving their 2 children adopted from Ethiopia. They recently regained custody of their biological children.  There was mention in this article of their defense lawyer saying that they “did their best to cope with the children’s extraordinary needs.”  Update: They were going to do a deposition of the 5 year old but decided against it.

The other case is the case of the Russel and Mona Hauer. The Hauers live in North Mankato, MN. It appears that their adversarial parenting caused them to starve their 8-year-old adopted son. They took him to the hospital severely malnourished and weighing only 35 lbs. Part of this was because of existing problems the boy had and part was their failure to get help and their way of trying to control the situation. In a news story published today, I see that their parental rights over this child have been terminated. There is a quote in this story which I find very interesting:

[The judge] said the Hauers failed to follow professional advice on services he needed and how to address behavioral challenges. He also faulted them for their “aversion to traditional health care beliefs and practices,” and said their “highly moralistic” efforts to correct his behavior were the opposite of what he needed.

This very much suggests to me that there is Christian corporeal punishment and adversarial parenting involved so I decided that it was time to at least bring these to your attention.  I will continue to update this post as seems appropriate.

I should probably mention poor little Rodrick Arrington in Las Vegas here.  He was not adopted, but it was his step father who beat him to death while his mother helped.  I’m very unsure of this case, but certainly adversarial parenting and corporeal  punishment came into play.  But then, they do in all abuse cases and there are hundreds every year.  🙁  The purpose of this blog is not to discuss undisputed abuse.  It is to discuss abusive teachings which many loving and sane parents are not recognizing as abuse and to give Biblical arguments against such teachings.  That is why this post is categorized as “blog.” Because it is technically off topic and does not quite fit into any of my categories. Although, I admit that I’m seeing a grey area and might end up changing my mind about that at some point. I just don’t see anyone defending any of these abuse cases or denying that is is abuse, except the defendants and their lawyers.

Samuel Martin Still Trying To Open Dialog With Pro-Spankers

Samuel Martin continues to try to dialog with pro-spankers.  I’m not sure why he is having such a hard time finding someone who will take him up on this challenge.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I am linking to this excellent post by Hippy Housewife about Breastfeeding, Modesty and the Church.

For more about breastfeeding, see my Christian Breastfeeding Links.

Samuel Martin Wants Women’s Input

In Samuel Martin’s latest blog post: Women’s Intuition and Corporal Punishment: Did you feel intuitively that spanking/smacking your children was wrong? he asks women to go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/5DQ6M3B and give him your input.

Punishment

Sarah at Under The Olive Branch shares a very thought provoking quote about punishment.

While you are there, check out her love story The Restoration of All Things.

Seeking Pro-Spankers

Samuel Martin has posted the following on Facebook:

I want to connect with fundamentalist Christians advocating spanking kids who are willing to read my book with the view to show me how I am in error in my findings – So far all of the people who I have connected with have yet to give me specific written critique of my work, except one and that person did not even end up totally disagreeing with my work. Please if you have any connections with people who would be interested in seeing learning advanced, help me connect with those parties so we can start a greater debate on this issue. Hope to hear from you – info@biblechild.com

Please have interested parties email him at info@biblechild.com.

Update:  The book can be downloaded here.

Giving Thanks

As you probably know, today is the day set aside in the United States for giving thanks to God.  Therefore, I would like to devote today’s post to doing just that.

First of all, I am very thankful to God for my life and my salvation which  He has given me  instead of what I deserved.

I am also thankful for my family, friends and church.

I am thankful for Gentle Christian Mothers for teaching me a more healthy way of thinking and for the fellowship there.  If it were not for Gentle Christian Mothers, this blog would not exist.

I am thankful for Rebecca who convinced me to allow her to make this blog for me.  Without her this blog would still be nothing but a webpage.

I am thankful for my writers and for all the bloggers to whom I have linked, without them this blog would be small indeed.

And, of course, I am thankful for my readers, without them there would be no purpose for this blog.

All the glory to God.

Danger of False Teachers

Every now and then I get a comment telling me that I am assisting the enemy by speaking badly about other Christians.  As I said in a recent comment,  I do not speak badly about other Christians, I offer Biblical Arguments against False Teachings.  And now, Glenn from The Watchman’s Bagpipes, explains why False Teachers are dangerous and must be publicly denounced. 

Note:  As far as Glenn’s list of false teachers goes, I have not read his posts about each one which I am sure contain his reasons for branding them as such. If you have questions about his list, please search his blog for his reasons.

Hildebrant’s Word Study of Proverbs 22:6a “To Train Up A Child.”

Here is a link to Ted Hildebrant’s article in the Grace Theological Journal 9.1 (1988) 3-19,  Proverbs 22:6a; To Train Up A Child? which analyses what “To Train Up A Child” really means.

Here is a short quote from the intro:

Careful consideration of lexical and contextual factors suggests that “train up a child in the way he should go” needs to be reexamined. The verb “to train” really refers to a bestowal of status and responsibility.  The noun translated “child” denotes the status of a late adolescent rather than a child.  “In the way he should go” is best understood as “according to what is expected.”   The original intent then of this verse addresses a late adolescent’s entrance into his place in adult society.

As he did not study the word for Rod, this article does not change his ideas about spanking. He does, however, come to the conclusion that the verse does not advocate early childhood training.   He also reminds us that it is a Proverb, not a promise, which is something to keep in mind.

His final conclusion is this:

The parent must not violate the adolescent’s personhood by authoritarian domination, permissive allowance of immaturity, or overprotection from the consequences of his actions.

I must make note of the fact that his Hebrew words were transliterated Right to Left so that they read, “backwards” for us. If you want to read a better version of this article, you may read it here, but you will have to subscribe to the site first.

Review of “Yell and Tell”

The Christian Post has a review of Debi Pearl’s Yell and Tell series.  This is a positive review but unlike most I’ve seen, they don’t promote her other books nor link to their website.   I wonder if they are aware of the controversy around them.

For another opinion on the series, see TulipGirl’s review. Hers is the 3rd on the page at this time.

Merry Christmas

Today we celebrate the greatest wonder of all.  God came down to Earth, clothed in human flesh in order  to pay for our sins.  In honor of this day, I would like to share this poem that my sister in Christ wrote.

The greatest gift was given so many nights ago,
he came to us lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
He could have came as royalty as he deserved
but yet he choose this path because he came to serve.

So when your life gets weary and you feel you been pushed to the test.
Remember Jesus and the life he lived at best.
He gave with all he had, and never stopped till death.

He could have snubbed his nose at those with crippled feet,
he could have said he was too good for stopping to cleanse another’s feet.
Yet he did so lovingly and showed us how to truly love.
He showed us the example to love one another and serve each other.

So this Christmas just remember as you unwrap each gift.
The greatest gift has been given.
As you enjoy each treasure here on earth,
just ponder what a greater reward lies in heaven
for those who love this man.
As you sit down to reflect on all that you have.
Glance around at your family and be thankful for their love.

Thank the Lord for every good thing in your life and stop to ask what you can do.
To serve one another for this is very true.
Humble yourself as the babe that came that Christmas morning.
Look around the world and see what you can do.

Let the spirit of Christmas remain through out the year.
Don’t leave it in December when the lights are on the tree.
Carry this season with you through the year.

Merry Christmas everyone
—Heather Joy Maynard 2010

Human Rights Violations from the TSA.

Not that I fly often, but there is no way I would fly now. Have you heard about these atrocities? Were you aware that if you fly, your choices are to go through a scan which lets someone view very graphic scans of your unclothed body (as well as exposing you to radiation) OR allow someone to touch your intimate areas? While I have no plans to fly soon, I am shocked and horrified for my brethren who do have to fly. It sickens me that so many people are accepting of this and I appreciate everyone who is speaking out. I am adding my voice here. This is just wrong and must be stopped.  TSA says that they are receiving very few complaints.  Probably few people know how to complain.  Let’s get the word out.  Anyone who has a complaint should read this.

Here is an article which explains how hard it is for the TSA staff involved as well as highlighting some abuses.

Here is an article comparing TSA staff with the Milgram Experiment.

Here is a first person account of a man who experienced the “enhanced pat down.”  He says that if he were a woman he would have felt violated.

Here is an article about how a sanitary towel prompted TSA to grope a sexual abuse survivor.

Here is an article about how a  mother was held in a glass cage for almost an hour for resisting over breastmilk.

Here is a reminder  of what we teach our children about Saying No to inappropriate touching. How can we reconcile this advice with what TSA is doing? TSA says that they will no longer search a child under 13. I hope they all will honor that guideline and not make up their own rules (as they did with the breastmilk guidelines), but what about our teenagers?


Happy Thanksgiving

Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul
Thank you, Lord, for making me whole
Thank you, Lord, for giving to me
Thy great salvation, so full and free.

This old chorus expresses well the first and main reason for my thankfulness. I am also thankful for so much more.

I am thankful for my life, for my family and for the way God is using me.

I am thankful for this blog and the many people who have let me know that God has used it to help them.  It never fails to humble and amaze me when I see that God is using me in this way.

I am thankful for Rebecca Diamond who God used in a mighty way to allow me to move this site to Word Press. I am also thankful for everyone else who God has used to build this blog by writing for me or allowing me to link to the words which God has laid on their hearts.

And, of course, I am thankful for my readers whom God has used to share my posts so that more might learn.

Thank you.  <3

Psychology and the Christian Mindset

JeriWho has written a very interesting blog about Psychology and The Fundamentalist Christian at Blog On The Way.  Her premise is that while rejecting Psychology for being “atheistic, Darwinistic, and utterly secular,” they tend to embrace behaviorism which is also atheistic and unbliblical.  She makes some very good points here and gives much food for thought.

Why churches are failing

Thriller Author has written a blog post at HubPages called Why Churches Are Failing.

This is a rather harsh wake up call for all Christians to consider and I believe that it is warranted. The Pearls’ teachings are mentioned in passing along with Ezzo’s.

I don’t know exactly what these HubPages are but I notice that they also have a positive review of To Train Up A Child. Needless to say, I do not agree with her conclusions of this book. It looks like members of this Hub can vote for the pages and affect their ratings. Hmmmm . . .

For more realistic reviews of To Train Up A Child, please see my list of reviews.

The Pearls Take On Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse

I feel obligated to post the information that the Pearls are working on a new book about protecting children from sexual abuse.   Debi Pearl posted that info on her blog at http://www.debipearl.com/blogs/blog/1740302-cultivating-cautious-chicks-protecting-children-from-predators.  I found this post through my Google Alerts which hit a thread on Free Jinger about how said blog post was altogether wrong in its information about chickens. http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/2475/t/Pearls–Writing–New-Book—Know—Chickens–Children.html

I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about this news.  I believe that many of their teachings do make a child vulnerable to abuse and therefore is is good that they are addressing that.  I hope that the advice they give turns out to be useful advice and will end up protecting children rather than hurting them more as much of their advice does.


Update: Debi Pearl is releasing a children’s book designed to prepare and protect children from sexual molestation and it actually looks pretty good.

Update Nov 2010: The book, Samuel Learns To Yell And Tell has been released.   Here is TulipGirl’s review of the book.  If you are not familiar with TulipGirl, please see my sidebar for a link to her site.