Remnant Fellowship’s Abusive Teachings Exposed

Under Much Grace exposes the history of child abuse of Remnant Fellowship.

The Science Behind Happy And Compliant Children

Cindy of Under Much Grace explains the scientific evidence that shows the damage done to children who suffer harsh punishment from a young age.  Parents who follow Pearls’ advice to punish toddlers for age appropriate behaviors may end up with seemingly happy and compliant children, but at what price?

Watch Thy Tongue

Dulce de Leche shares a guest post about our words and the power they hold over our children.

More Commandments for Parents

Dulce de Leche continues her 10 Commandments For Parents series with The 10 Commandments for Parents: No Graven Image.

Getting Children to Cooperate

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with a very helpful post about eliciting cooperation by observing aloud and playful parenting.

Meanwhile, Dulce de Leche explains how we should Use Our Words carefully in order to make sure that our young children understand what we want from them.

More 52 Tool Cards Posts

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) adds to her 52 Tool Card series with

52 Tool Cards: Winning Cooperation and

52 Tool Cards Double Feature: Connection Before Correction and Closet Listening.

Column Warning About Pearl In The Daily Journal

Dorothy Dimitre has a column in The San Mateo Daily Journal about Pearl’s appearance in The Today Show and why spanking is bad for children: ‘Leave no marks!’

Understanding Brainwashing and How Children Are Primed for Victimization

Cindy of Under Much Grace takes informative and very technical looks at abusive behavior, analyzing both the victims and the abusers.

She has a new series about brainwashing.  I want to make special note of part 7  in which she ties the information to the Pearls’ teachings. Here is a short summary which she wrote for me:

I think of it in terms of developmental milestones and such, and most all learning is experiential for a child for the first 36 months and is primarily all on the right side of the brain, entirely self-centered and oriented toward felt sense.

Children under the age of two only make Delta waves on EEG, the same brainwave that an adult makes while they sleep. From two to six, they make only theta waves which is what an adult generates just before falling asleep, basically. The plotting that Pearl talks about is a fast brainwave that doesn’t manifest in a child until they approach age twelve.

I would also like to draw your attention to the posts after part X which are about how the mindset of many families prime children for victimization.

Now, on the the entire series:

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part I

A Sychophant for a Sociopath Does Damage Control: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part II

Another Example of Transformed Memory in Response to Psychological Stress and Interpersonal Pressure in a POW Camp: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part III

Lifton on Reaffirming the Myth and How Adults and Children Respond: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part IV

Steven Martin on the Heresy of Mind Control in Christian Churches: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part V

Steven Martin on the Role of Denial in the Altering of Memory: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VI

Altered States of Consciousness Resulting from Trauma and Environmental Factors and Brainwave States Associated with Childhood Growth and Development: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VII

Post Traumatic Stress as a Physical Process and the Inadequacies of Some Types of Biblical Counseling: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VIII

Additional Factors Contributing to Doctrine Over Person Pressures at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part IX of X (Summary and Review)

The Effects of Trauma and Abuse at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part X of X

She follows up this series with a related series about Understanding the Role of Childhood Emotional Development in Spiritual Abuse.

 

Commandments for Parents

Dulce de Leche explains how some parents inadvertently set themselves up as idols in The 10 Commandments for Parents: No Other Gods.

Alison Strobel explains Golden Rule Parenting.

Christianity Today Article On Corporal Punishment Now Online

The Christianity Today Article I mentioned earlier has been posted to their website: Thou Shalt Not Abuse.

The Vision Forum’s Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy, 16-21: Education, Transformation, and Control

Note: This is an edited and collated version of a series of posts that I made at Free Jinger in August 2011.

For much of my life, my encounters with U.S. fundamentalist Christianity were sporadic and bewildering.  I started digging into the roots of the fundamentalist mindset when I became a homeschooler and a Sunday school teacher.  As many of us have discovered, fundamentalism has become prevalent in both fields of endeavor–particularly homeschooling.

Fundamentalism, of course, is not a monolithic entity, but different fundamentalist groups share many common traits.  A particularly disturbing common trait is the fundamentalist use of exegesis.  In short, it stinks.  This incompetence exists right at the foundation: not only in interpretation, but also in basic reading comprehension.  This is a disturbing thing to see in groups that insist that they are drawing their inspiration straight from the Bible.

Here is a selection from “The Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy,” which appear at the Vision Forum’s website, visionforumministries.org.  I will present items 16 through 21 and examine the verses that the Vision Forum uses to support its declarations.  These items cover what the Vision Forum wants parents to do in order to educate their children.  I will use my Oxford Study Bible (New English Bible with Apocrypha), which was a gift from the Russian Orthodox seminary where I worked one summer–in other words, from a church with much more experience in the problems of living than the Vision Forum.

Preliminary thoughts: I also use the words “biblical,” “body of Christ,” “community of believers,” and so forth, but I do not mean what the Vision Forum means when they use them.  I have at least an elementary grounding in theology, exegesis, and church history, including the great mistakes and failed experiments of various communities of believers. People who are searching for answers and stumble over this stuff without having the tools needed to discern the traps–no wonder they’re taken in.

16. Education is not a neutral enterprise. Christian parents must provide their children with a thoroughly Christian education, one that teaches the Bible and a biblical view of God and the world. Christians should not send their children to public schools since education is not a God-ordained function of civil government and since these schools are sub-Christian at best and anti-Christian at worst. (Deut. 4:9; 6:6-9; Rom. 13:3-5; Eph. 6:4; 2 Tim. 3:15)

17. Fathers are sovereign over the training of their children and, with their wives, are the children’s chief teachers. Christian parents are bound to obey the command personally to walk beside and train their children. Any approach to Christian education ought to recognize and facilitate the role of fathers and mothers as the primary teachers of their children. (Deut. 4:9; 6:6ff.; Ps. 78:3-8; Prov. 1:8; Eph. 6:4; [sic])

First come two short quotations from the same section of Deuteronomy.  Deut. 4:9: But take care: keep careful watch on yourselves so that you do not forget the things that you have seen with your own eyes; do not let them pass from your minds as long as you live, but teach them to your children and to your children’s children.  Extracted from the first discourse of Moses, in which he introduces the Law to Israel. Here are verses 7-8: What great nation has a god close at hand as the Lord our God is close to us whenever we call to him? What great nation is there whose statutes and laws are so just, as is all this code of laws which I am setting before you today? (Hint: Who is Moses talking to?) Verses 10 ff. retell the events at Mount Horeb–the story that the Jews are to pass on “to your children and to your children’s children.”  But the Vision Forum skips ahead to Deut. 6:6-9: These commandments which I give you this day are to be remembered and taken to heart; repeat them to your children, and speak of them both indoors and out of doors, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign upon your hand and wear them as a pendant on your forehead; write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates. This passage is from Moses’ second discourse and comes right after the Ten Commandments and the Two Greatest Commandments.  Both passages are quoted to support Tenet 16, which begins, “Christian parents must provide their children with a thoroughly Christian education, one that teaches the Bible and a biblical view of God and the world.”  So far, so good–if we ignore the assumptions in the rest of Tenet 16.

Rom. 13:3-5: Governments hold no terrors for the law-abiding but only for the criminal.  You wish to have no fear of the authorities? Then continue to do right and you will have their approval, for they are God’s agents working for your good. But if you are doing wrong, then you will have cause to fear them; it is not for nothing that they hold the power of the sword, for they are God’s agents of punishment bringing retribution on the offender. That is why you are obliged to submit. It is an obligation imposed not merely by fear of retribution but by conscience.  An extract from Paul’s advice to the believers in Rome about how Christians ought to live in the general culture. The passage containing these verses begins, Every person must submit to the authorities in power, for all authority comes from God (13:1). Verse 6 continues the theme by requiring Christians to pay taxes. The Vision Forum cites verses 3-5 to support Tenet 16, which asserts that “education is not a God-ordained function of civil government.” Is the assumption here that because the authorities are referred to as exercising a judicial function, but not an educational function, then the educational function is not their proper sphere? The Bible doesn’t mention governments building roads either; does the Vision Forum tell people not to use public highways?

Eph. 6:4: Fathers, do not goad your children to resentment, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Extracted from Paul’s advice to believers about Christian relationships. Cited to support the Vision Forum’s assertion that education should be “Biblical.”  Certainly, but why does this mean that “Christians should not send their children to public schools?”  And how can an irreligious subject such as trig be made “Biblical?”  Does labeling a textbook “Now With More Bible Verses!”–yes, I have seen this–really turn it into “the discipline and instruction of the Lord?”  And why should it be anyway?  Is there not a time for every purpose under Heaven?

2 Tim. 3:15: . . . remember that from early childhood you have been familiar with the sacred writings which have power to make you wise and lead you to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Extracted from Paul’s attempt to encourage someone who is facing persecution. Cited by the Vision Forum, once again, to show that all education must be “Biblical” and private. Verses 16-17 explain what the Bible is for (in Paul’s view): All inspired scripture has its use for teaching the truth and refuting error, or for reformation of manners and discipline in right living, so that the man of God may be capable and equipped for good work of every kind. Yes, and public school is for teaching trig. Why does the existence of Biblical education have to obliterate the other kind?  The passage continues with a warning against the time when people will not stand sound teaching, but will follow his own whim and gather a crowd of teachers to tickle his fancy.  They will stop their ears to the truth and turn to fables. (vv. 3-4)  Something else that struck me when I first started looking into fundamentalism was the general denial of the basic tools of thought–logic, debate, fact-checking–as well as the many centuries of sound teaching that have arisen from the use of these tools. I think the common fundamentalist adherence to the King James Version above all others stems from the same source. Refusing to learn how to read the Bible in the original languages, and clinging to a translation so old that many of the words have changed meaning in our own language, enables self-serving preachers to read into the Word of God whatever they wish to see. And they teach others, who believe in good faith, because they have never been given the tools they need to ask the questions that would point out the holes in the foundation.

One more thing: I couldn’t have told you the religion of a single one of my teachers at public school. The question did not come up, ever. My American History and Literature (double period) teacher explained the currents in Christian thought in the U.S. during various periods in history because so many of the authors we studied were writing as Christians and we needed to understand where they were coming from. He did not make value judgments about Christianity, although he expected us to clearly express our own opinions in well-written essays. Not once did I ever hear a word critical of Christianity or supportive of any other religion or of a lack of religion for that matter. Not once in thirteen years.

Ps. 78:3-8, part of the introduction to a historical psalm, alludes to Moses’ instructions to Israel in the two passages from Deuteronomy quoted above. The psalm recounts the Exodus and the unfaithfulness of succeeding generations in the Promised Land. The Vision Forum cites verses 3-8 to support their assertions that “Fathers are sovereign over the training of their children” (what is this obsession with human sovereignty and dominion?) and that “the Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world.” In a general sense, this is true–but I do not think those words mean what the Vision Forum thinks they mean. Also, why use a selection from a psalm about backsliding in the Promised Land to support the assertion that “the next generation will build upon the faith and improve upon the faithfulness of their parents?”

Prov. 1:8: Attend, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not reject your mother’s teaching . . . Extracted from the introduction to the proverbs of Solomon. The Vision Forum stretches this verse to mean that fathers “are sovereign over the training of their children” and that fathers and mothers must be “the primary teachers of their children.” I note that Proverbs is primarily concerned with wisdom, right use of authority, and understanding of human nature. Naturally a child’s parents or other primary caregivers will be that child’s first teachers in wisdom, discernment, and justice. But, again (and again and again), what does this have to do with trig?

18. Educational methodology is not neutral. The Christian should build his educational methodology from the word of God and reject methodologies derived from humanism, evolutionism, and other unbiblical systems of thought. Biblical education is discipleship, a process designed to reach the heart. The aim is a transformed person who exhibits godly character and a trained mind, both of which arise from faith. The parents are crucial and ordinarily irreplaceable in this heart-level, relational process. (Deut. 6:5-7; Lk. 6:40; 1 Thess. 2:7-12; 2 Tim. 1:5; 2 Pet. 1:5-8)

Deut. 6:5-7: . . . and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments which I give you this day are to be remembered and taken to heart; repeat them to your children, and speak of them both indoors and out of doors, when you lie down and when you get up.  One of the Two Greatest Commandments with part of Moses’ exhortation regarding the Law, previously quoted. From this the Vision Forum makes the assumption that parents are primary in all education (yet again).

Lk. 6:40: No pupil ranks above his teacher; fully trained he can but reach his teacher’s level.  This is Jesus explaining one of His own parables (v.39): Can one blind man guide another? Will not both fall into the ditch?  The Vision Forum quotes v.40 as if it referred to antagonism between “Biblical education” and “humanism, evolutionism, and other unbiblical systems of thought.”  It is certainly arguable that the 19th-century concept of evolutionism (which is not evolutionary theory as a whole) and some of the assorted concepts that have gone by the name humanism since the Renaissance are contrary to the truths expressed in the Bible.  It is also arguable that they are not.  But not via this verse.

A final thought about “Biblical” vs. “unbiblical” home education: The 19th century Americans who many Vision Forum members and followers venerate depended on books for answers to problems of daily life, such as what to teach to children. They weren’t the books of the Bible. They used books with names like Pleasant Pages and Practical Housekeeping.  What verses, if any, these books quoted generally had to do with character. They did not attempt to connect every detail of children’s education to a Bible verse pried out of its place and stretched to fit. Trying to use the Bible as a home cyclopedia is like prying apart a car because you need a part to fix the motor in your blender. The car is supposed to be taking you somewhere.

1 Thess. 2: 7-12: . . . although as Christ’s own envoys we might have made our weight felt; but we were as gentle with you as a nurse caring for her children. Our affection was so deep that we were determined to share with you not only the gospel of God but our very selves; that is how dear you had become to us! You remember, my friends, our toil and drudgery; night and day we worked for a living, rather than be a burden to any of you while we proclaimed to you the good news of God. We call you to witness, yes, and God himself, how devout and just and blameless was our conduct towards you who are believers. As you well know, we dealt with each one of you as a father deals with his children; we appealed to you, we encouraged you, we urged you, to live lives worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory.  Extracted from Paul’s assertions about his and his fellow missionaries’ conduct when they stayed with the believers in Thessalonica. I note two things here. First, Paul holds up as proof of his good intent the fact that he “worked for a living,” which did not involve accepting money from the believers. Second, Paul assumed certain things about the conduct of parents. A woman caring for her children is “gentle;” a father (tenses changed) “appeals,” “encourages,” and “urges” his children toward the right way. The Vision Forum, typically, cites this passage to support their assumptions about “educational methodology.”  Are they gentle?  Do they appeal, encourage, and urge children toward the right way?  What happens to people raised in VF families who refuse to fall into their assigned places in their parents’ multi-generational vision?

More on conduct of parents toward children when I finally get to the citations from Proverbs.

2 Tim. 1:5: I am reminded of the sincerity of your faith, a faith which was alive in Lois your grandmother and Eunice your mother before you, and which, I am confident, now lives in you.  Paul to Timothy again, this time from the beginning of the letter about bearing up in times of persecution. From this verse the Vision Forum extracts the idea that “Biblical education is discipleship.” Once again, the words are true according to general understanding, but the Vision Forum applies them in a highly specific way that requires following a lot of assumptions down a rabbit hole.  This verse is a good jumping-off point for unpacking the Vision Forum’s own words.

“Biblical education is discipleship.” Teachers described in various books of the Bible did take disciples. Discipleship is a closer relationship than studenthood: almost familial.  However, what the Vision Forum calls “Biblical education” is not the kind of education described in the Bible and their vision of discipleship is something else as well. “A process designed to reach the heart.” Hopefully, if the teacher loves his or her subject, the disciple will come to understand that love even if he or she doesn’t share it; however, “reaching the heart” has a different emotional weight in Vision Forum literature, more like “eliciting compliance.”

“The aim is a transformed person who exhibits godly character.” Paul emphasizes character formation in the other passage from this letter quoted here, but not transformation.  Transformation comes through repentance, not through a course of study. And in order to be transformed by any means, a person has to have been formed in the first place. Speaking of transformation in children is–well, it’s of a piece with the adversarial, punitive, coercive, intrusive, and blasphemous child training methods embraced by fundamentalists, in my opinion. Instead of adults repenting and being transformed, children are the targets of transformation and by implication the reservoirs of sin. More on the blasphemousness of this in a moment.

“And a trained mind.” Using the Bible as a mental training handbook leads one back to the metaphor of ripping apart a car in order to fix a blender. Courses in logic train the mind.  Playing Lotto trains the mind. Using the Bible as a mental training handbook is aiming too low. In any case, using the Bible as a set of thought-stoppers is closer to what fundamentalists do with it: training the mind to stay quietly on its blanket, never exploring the living world beyond the arbitrary boundary.

“Which arise from faith.” Faith and reason share a common kingdom, but strike out for different borders. Faith is for the things that reason cannot parse; the trained mind still has limits. On the other hand, what reason can comprehend must be the domain of reason. Even untrained, stunted reason balks at being asked to accept what it can disprove. Forcing the issue–demanding that reason be subordinated to faith in its own province–produces cognitive dissonance. Or, without the psychological jargon, it messes up a person’s head.  Unfortunately, this is a common outcome of making a child’s entire education into a faith issue, at least judging from the accounts of ex-fundamentalists.

“The parents are crucial.” Yes, every child needs parents–born, chosen, whatever.

“And ordinarily irreplaceable.” I hope not because otherwise people who lose their parents are pretty much out of–

“In this heart-level, relational process.” Stop!

“This heart-level, relational process” whose aim is “a transformed person” is not the business of human beings. It cannot be diagnosed by watching for a predefined exhibition of “godly character.” It is “a heart-level, relational process” in the control of the only One who can see into individual hearts. We can place our children in the midst of knowledge; we can appeal, encourage, and urge. We cannot reach into their hearts and transform them. We cannot put ourselves into the place of God Almighty. To believe otherwise is blasphemy.

Make disciples of our children? I certainly hope so. Train their minds? Absolutely; God gave us reason, so we should make good use of it. Teach them Scripture? Yes, of course. But that is as far as we can go. No “educational methodology” can assure us that they will always make the right choices. No amount of repetition of verses can assure “godly character.” We can train children to exhibit the right responses on demand; we can stunt their ability to think so that they don’t ask the wrong questions: we can render our children rootbound, try to clip the wings of their souls to keep them in the places we assign. Or we can trust God to do what is not possible for human beings and keep in mind that nobody else’s heart is within our dominion.

Onward! This has been quite a slog for me, so thanks to everyone who has kept reading.

2 Pet. 1:5-8: With all this in view, you should make every effort to add virtue to your faith, knowledge to virtue, self-control to knowledge, fortitude to self-control, piety to fortitude, brotherly affection to piety, and love to brotherly affection. If you possess and develop these gifts, you will grow actively and effectively in knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Extracted from a discussion about how Christians ought to live while awaiting Christ’s return. “All this” is the gifts and promises of God. Once again, discussion of spiritual renewal among adults is enslaved to discussion of “educational methodology” and the “transformation” of children who do not get to consent.

So much for educational methodology. Now for the educational mandate.

19. Since the educational mandate belongs to parents and they are commanded personally to walk beside and train their children, they ought not to transfer responsibility for the educational process to others. However, they have the liberty to delegate components of that process. While they should exercise great caution and reserve in doing this, and the more so the less mature the child, it is prudent to take advantage of the diversity of gifts within the body of Christ and enjoy the help and support that comes with being part of a larger community with a common purpose. (1 Cor. 12:14ff.; Gal. 4:1,2; 6:2; Eph. 4:16)

20. The age-integrated communities of family and church are the God-ordained institutions for training and socialization and as such provide the preferred pattern for social life and educational endeavors. The modern preference for grouping children exclusively with their age mates for educational and social purposes is contrary to scriptural wisdom and example.  (Deut. 29:10-11; 2 Chron. 20:13; Prov. 22:15 with 13:20; Joel 2:16; 1 Cor. 15:33)

21. The Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world. Christian parents need to adopt this perspective and be motivated by the generational promises of Scripture, and church shepherds need to promote this outlook within their flocks. By the grace of God, as fathers faithfully turn their hearts toward their sons and daughters and the youths respond in kind, the next generation will build upon the faith and improve upon the faithfulness of their parents. (Ps. 78:1-8; Is. 59:21; Mal. 4:6; Lk. 1:17; Gal. 6:9)

1 Cor. 12:14ff.: Selected from a discourse by Paul about spiritual gifts. The Vision Forum quote actually starts in the middle of the discourse, but Paul tends to repeat himself, so I will begin at verse 14 as well.

A body is not a single organ, but many. Suppose the foot were to say, “Because I am a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it belongs to the body none the less. Suppose the ear were to say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it still belongs to the body. If the body were all eye, how could it hear? If the body were all ear, how could it smell? But, in fact, God appointed each limb and organ to its own place in the body as he chose. If the whole were a single organ, there would not be a body at all; in fact, however, there are many different organs, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” or the head to the feet, “I do not need you.” Quite the contrary: those parts of the body which seem to be more frail than others are indispensable, and those parts of the body which we regard as less honorable are treated with special honor.  The parts we are modest about are treated with special respect, whereas our respectable parts have no such need. But God has combined the various parts of the body, giving special honor to the humbler parts, so that there might be no division in the body, but that all its parts might feel the same concern for one another. If one part suffers, all suffer together; if one flourishes, all rejoice together.

Now you are Christ’s body, and each of you a limb or organ of it. Within our community God has appointed in the first place apostles, in the second place prophets, thirdly teachers; then miracle-workers, then those who have gifts of healing, or ability to help others or power to guide them, or the gift of tongues of various kinds. Are all apostles? All prophets?  All teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues of ecstasy? Do all have the power to interpret them?

The higher gifts are the ones you should prize. But I can show you an even better way.

Paul then goes on to assert that no spiritual gift or deed of charity means anything if exercised without love and moves into a discussion about love itself–the one that begins “Love is patient, love is kind.”

The Vision Forum uses this meditation on the nature of Christian community to allow parents an out from its previously declared “educational mandate.” Parents can “delegate” teaching to other people, but they are to make sure that any teachers besides themselves are Christian.  First of all, does Paul actually say anything about an educational mandate? I note that he recognizes the gift of teaching in some, not in all, and furthermore he has no problem with that. He does not say that the people who can teach are all parents of school-age children or that all parents of school-age children can or must be teachers. It is likely that he is speaking specifically of the gift of teaching religion, but since the Vision Forum treats all education as if it were religious education, my point stands.

As for requiring all teachers to be Christian regardless of topic, Paul never speaks of it.  Paul quotes from at least one pagan poet in support of his arguments about conduct (more on this later). If he values pagan teaching about conduct, what does this imply? If we are to quote Paul, perhaps we should pay attention to what Paul is actually saying. And if we don’t want to use Paul’s words in support of religious tests for schoolteachers, we’re stuck; no other writer of the New Testament comes even this close to the topic. Or perhaps we could exercise discernment instead of trying to use the Bible as a home cyclopedia. And discernment begins with the evidence of the senses.

I already wrote about my experiences with criticism of Christianity in thirteen years of public school. In short, there was none; in fact we explored Christianity in order to better understand Christian writers. Along the way we discussed honor, self-sacrifice, charity, mercy, and many other virtues. But of course, that isn’t enough to satisfy critics who write about parents’ “liberty” to be anxious about the religious background of public school teachers. When I read the Vision Forum’s dire warnings about what could happen if parents send their children to public school, I am reminded of what Father Andrew Greeley says about certain Catholics of his acquaintance. In paraphrase: They only recognize as truth certain things said in a certain exact way. Say the same thing in a different way and it’s just meaningless mouth noise at best and anti-Christian at worst. Discernment is reduced to running down a checklist of shibboleths.

I have taken a good long look at what the Vision Forum defines as Christian and I don’t think it has anything to do with growing into the measure of the fullness of the stature of Christ.  It has more to do with the bed of Procrustes, or that horrible lying fable about breaking the lamb’s leg. I may be straying, but at least I’m not crippled in the name of God.

Gal. 4:1,2: This is what I mean: so long as the heir is a minor, he is no better off than a slave, even though the whole estate is his; he is subject to guardians and trustees until the date set by his father. Extracted from Paul on life under the Law vs. life in the grace of Christ. The Vision Forum quotes this as if it were a support of the educational mandate. But it describes Paul’s opinion of life without grace.

Gal. 6:2: Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.  From another discourse in Paul’s letter to the churches in Galatia, this one about living under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. For once the Vision Forum gets it right. “The help and support that comes with being part of a larger community with a common purpose” is part of the Godly life and this quotation supports that assertion. But this doesn’t have anything to do with who is supposed to teach reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.

Eph. 4:16: . . . and on him the whole body depends. Bonded and held together by every constituent joint, the whole frame grows through the proper functioning of each part, and builds itself up in love.  Paul really likes the theme of the Church as the body of Christ; this extract is part of a discourse on how Christians should treat one another. Here is the rest of the broken sentence and the one to which it refers (verses 14-15): We are no longer to be children, tossed about by the waves and whirled around by every fresh gust of teaching, dupes of cunning rogues and their deceitful schemes. Rather we are to maintain the truth in a spirit of love; so shall we fully grow up into Christ. He is the head . . .  Let the one who has ears, hear.

Next we come to a set of verses that illustrate two persistent shortcomings of the Vision Forum’s treatment of the Bible: confusing description with prescription and confusing situational with universal.

Deut. 29:10-11, 2 Chron. 20:13, and Joel 2:16 all refer to the whole people of Israel gathering together: all ages, both genders, and all walks of life. In Deuteronomy, Moses is making a speech to the people who he sees standing before him, ready to receive God’s covenant. In 2 Chronicles, King Jehoshaphat is leading “the people of Judah and Jerusalem” in prayer at the Temple on the eve of battle. The passage in Joel refers to the community’s response to a plague of locusts, which is interpreted as the wrath of God; they gather together to pray, fast, weep, and repent of sin. From these verses the Vision Forum argues that “The age-integrated communities of family and church are the God-ordained institutions for training and socialization” and that these descriptions of community assemblies are “a multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world.” I would argue rather that these verses illustrate how people have always sought one another’s company when something that affected the whole community was happening–but I didn’t buy my glasses from the Vision Forum.

I took the preceding three verses out of the sequence in which the Vision Forum presents them because they go together, but also because a verse in the middle of the sequence really should be considered separately. This is one of the so-called rod verses in Proverbs.

So, the next verses cited are Proverbs 22:15 “with 13:20.” Proverbs is generally accepted in mainstream churches as a collection of pragmatic observations about human nature combined with meditation on how to be the best people we can be. Proverbs 22:15, in the translation I am using, reads, Folly is deep-rooted in the hearts of children; a good beating will drive it out of them.  This is one of the (in)famous “rod verses,” which are cited in support of hitting children. (I know that there are various euphemisms applied to hitting children. But I prefer to call a spade a spade.) Hitting children is supposed to make them wiser, better people, child training experts say, pointing to this verse.

Wait a minute. Even we wishy-washy context-citing types accept that the Bible expresses unified themes about God, humanity, and so forth. So why is Paul, who knows the Hebrew Bible inside and out, talking about mothers treating children gently and fathers encouraging and urging children toward the truth? Why does he warn against provoking children to resentment?  Why does Jesus Himself threaten dire consequences to whoever makes a little child “stumble?”  And if childhood is supposed to be a faulty state out of which one must be beaten, why does Jesus say that believers must “become as little children” in order to enter the Kingdom? Even Paul, when he speaks of childhood as lacking, portrays leaving childhood as a process of growth: “putting away childish things” when one becomes an adult, not before.

Historically, apparent contradictions within the Bible have been resolved in several ways:

1. Declaring an entire book noncanonical–the fate of the Gnostic Gospels.
2. Accepting that the Bible is the human record of divine revelation and as such also a reflection of the flawed humanity of its writers.
3. Rechecking the translation.
4. Living with cognitive dissonance and trying not to think about it.

Some authorities have chosen option 2 when dealing with dissonant values expressed in Proverbs and elsewhere in the Bible. I accepted this until I ran across an analysis of the original Hebrew here.  In short, the verse should read (paraphrase): Behaving as if one didn’t know any better when one actually does is a failure of adults, not children; disciplining children keeps this failure from becoming active in their hearts. IOW, discipline your children–make disciples of them, teach them–before they are old enough to get into serious spiritual trouble and they will not become “fools.” Applying this verse as if children are already “fools” and beating will make them wise amounts to reading things into the Bible that are not there. There is a long tradition in Western culture of violence toward those under our authority, with special cruelty reserved for children (see For Your Own Good by Alice Miller). Trying to find justification for a bad tradition in our holy book is a natural failing, but a failing nonetheless.

The verse that is taken “with” the above, 13:20, reads, Walk with the wise and learn wisdom; mix with the stupid and come to harm.  Once again, advice to adults is applied to children, this time to denigrate the practice of putting children in classes with their agemates “contrary to scriptural wisdom and example.” Educator Charlotte Mason also spoke against the practice of grouping children by calendar age, but on the grounds that children who are the same in age are not necessarily the same in ability or in needs, and also that they will not be mixing exclusively with their agemates as adults, which defeats the purpose of school as preparation for capable adulthood. Note that although she had the Bible read in her schools regularly (KJV even!), she did not feel the need to drag a misapplied Bible verse into her argument–and she did not justify her opinion by calling children stupid.  It is possible to reach the same conclusion by charitable and uncharitable means.  We are to choose charity.

1 Cor. 15:33: Make no mistake: “Bad company ruins good character.” Paul again, quoting the Greek poet Menander–a pagan–although he does not bother to note this in his letter, as if it weren’t an issue. What’s more, he is quoting Menander in support of an argument about Christian conduct, specifically not associating with people who say that there is no resurrection of the dead. The Vision Forum quotes this pagan poet in support of keeping children out of age-graded classrooms. Children are stupid, children are bad company, children are fools . . . I sense a theme.

Now, and last, we turn to the “multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world” that the Bible is supposed to present. First the Vision Forum cites the beginning of Psalm 78 again. As I wrote above, this is a historical psalm about the Exodus and backsliding among the descendants of those who attained the Promised Land. The psalmist alludes to Moses’ charge to the witnesses at Mount Horeb, to pass on the stories of the events that formed Israel into a nation. Indeed, any culture is founded on the stories people tell. This particular story, however, is not exactly about “the next generation [building] upon the faith and [improving] upon the faithfulness of their parents.” The Bible was divided into chapters and verses relatively recently, purely as a navigational aid.  Analyzing verses in isolation puts us in the same predicament as the fabled blind men trying to describe an elephant.

Isaiah 59:21: This, says the Lord, is my covenant, which I make with them: My spirit which rests on you and my words which I have put into your mouth will never fail you from generation to generation of your descendants from now on, for evermore. The Lord has said it.   The editors of this Bible translation suggest that Isaiah 59 really is a discrete unit (this isn’t always the case with Bible chapters!) that amounts to a liturgy of repentance.  Verse 21 is the very end, the closing benediction. The initial call for repentance (verses 1-15) paints a picture of a wholly corrupt society: Your hands are stained with blood and your fingers with crime . . . no one sues with just cause, no one makes an honest plea in court . . . their schemes are harmful and leave a trail of havoc and ruin . . . all the ways they choose to walk are crooked; no one who walks in them feels safe . . . we have relapsed and forsaken our God; we have conceived lies in our hearts and repeated them in slanderous and treacherous words.  The  overarching theme is that the people do not act with justice and so no justice comes to them. Again, this is hardly about a “multi-generational vision” of each generation perfecting the next.

Malachi 4:6: He will reconcile parents to their children and children to their parents, lest I come and put the land under a ban to destroy it.  ”He” is the prophet Elijah, who is prophesied to return, and the speaker is the Lord. This is the last line of the prophecy of Malachi regarding the struggle that stands before the people who have returned from Babylonian captivity. No longer able to define themselves as a people with a monarch, they must learn how to define themselves by the word of God as passed down to them in Scripture. Malachi also looks for a coming day of judgment. Lk. 1:17 alludes to Malachi’s prophecy of the return of Elijah. An angel is speaking to Zechariah about the impending birth of his son John: He will go before him as forerunner, possessed by the spirit and power of Elijah, to reconcile father and child, to convert the rebellious to the ways of the righteous, to prepare a people that shall be fit for the Lord.  Both verses are cited to support the triumphalist “multi-generational vision,” but the passages they come from describe a people in need of renewal.

And here we are at the end. The Vision Forum quotes once again from a discourse on Christian life in Paul’s letter to the Galatians. I will quote the entire passage, Gal. 2:7-10, which is the end of an appeal for mutual charity and generosity. The snippet the Vision Forum uses to support its multi-generational vision is set off in boldface.  Make no mistake about this: God is not to be fooled; everyone reaps what he sows. If he sows in the field of his unspiritual nature, he will reap from it a harvest of corruption; but if he sows in the field of the Spirit, he will reap from it a harvest of eternal life. Let us never tire of doing good, for if we do not slacken our efforts we shall in due time reap our harvest. Therefore, as opportunity offers, let us work for the good of all, especially members of the household of the faith.  Paul earlier (5:22-23) describes the harvest of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, fidelity, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

This is what Paul exhorts the people to work for. What does the Vision Forum say it wants? It wants “the generational promises of Scripture.” But the passages it cites to prove that there are such “generational promises” turn out to be about promises to Israel conditional upon keeping the Law–the whole Law, not just the bits modern fundamentalists favor–calls for repentance and renewal, simple description of a past event, or advice about living with other people. What do the cited passages actually say about teaching children? They say to discipline our children–that is, to treat them like disciples.  They talk about being gentle with children, urging them toward the right way, and telling them good stories. Not about improving them in some kind of spiritual eugenics program. We each answer to God for our own actions. Not for the actions of our parents. Not for the actions of our children.

Thanks for reading.

Larry Williams Returns to Jail

According to a report in the January 7th, 2012 edition of the Skagit County Herald (only available in print or by paying for the “e-edition”), some of Larry Williams family members delivered Christmas gifts and letters from Larry to four of the children who are fostered by their aunt and uncle. There is a court order in place: Larry and Carri Williams are both prohibited from contacting their spouse or their any of their children. In addition, the judge ordered them not to contact the foster parents.

No-contact order violations can occur if the prohibited party contacts the protected party, or asks a third party to do so on his/her behalf. Apparently Larry felt that it was okay for his mother (a third party) to deliver items to his children. Along with some Christmas gifts were letters to the children. One of them contained modified Bible verses from the book of 2 Timothy, where apparently Larry substituted his name for Apostle Paul’s and his children’s names in the place of Timothy. The prosecutors argued that Larry was “framing himself as a martyr to his children” and the judge told him he had violated the order and raised his bail back up to the original amount of $500,000.  The attorney of Carri Williams successfully argued that she had nothing to do with the gifts or letters, so she was not considered to be in violation of the order.  According to the defense attorney, Larry’s mother “over-stepped her boundaries” and the children were not supposed to know that the gifts were from their father. An inmate roster check at the Skagit County Jail shows that Larry was once again booked into custody.

I do not know the details of the no-contact orders, but in my mind there are two possible explanations for why Larry violated the law: 1) Larry lacks common sense and didn’t know any better; or 2) Larry willfully defied the judge’s orders. Let’s say that the court is okay with Larry showering his children with gifts (in spite of the no-contact order) as long as they don’t know they are from him. I’m seriously doubtful of that theory, but let’s pretend that is the case. So Larry purchases the children some very nice gifts and thinks that as long as his mother delivers them and just says they are from “Santa”, all is good.

But there is a problem. You may be able to explain the gifts away as plain ignorance, but what is the explanation for the letters to the kids where he where he substituted himself in place of Apostle Paul? I certainly don’t think that was an accident. I have not seen the letters and I do not know specifically what they contain, but I believe Larry was attempting to pointedly communicate to his children. It is possible that the verses included in these letters were those that encourage Timothy (the children) to remain “faithful” not only to God, but also to Apostle Paul (Larry) and/or contained verses in which Apostle Paul (Larry) describes that he is being punished for his innocent actions because of religious persecution. I believe that the defendant probably has a very twisted version of reality in which he sees himself as a man who was living in the way that God expected him to, yet  has been wrongfully imprisoned for it.  By substituting himself for Apostle Paul, Larry seems to be stating that he too is a righteous victim of religious persecution and pending martyrdom.

I doubt there is any mention of Hana in these letters, but if Larry’s opinion is the same as his spouse’s, then I believe that it’s fair to conclude that they both think that Hana “killed herself” because she was  ”passive-aggressive” and “rebellious”.  As difficult as it is for me to comprehend, Larry and his wife both may really think that the true victim in this case (Hana) perished because she refused to be cooperative or obedient.  Either that, or possibly it is Larry and Carri’s  ”cover story” or alibi about what happened to Hana and the other adopted child in their home.

In my opinion, Larry wrote those letters because he wanted his children to believe that he has been wrongly accused, and he was also trying to persuade them to refuse to testify about the abuse they saw inflicted upon Hana and her little brother. If this is the case, it is likely that the children would have felt emotionally torn between telling the truth or protecting their father.  That is an extremely manipulative and unfair thing to do to a child. Does this man think he is entitled to violate the order because mere human laws do not apply to him, because he is obeying a higher law?  Or is he just lacking the common sense to understand the orders that the judge issued to him in a court of law?

At the end of the day and regardless of the reason, Larry defied the court order. He did this by having his mother help him. I cannot say what his mother’s motives were. Perhaps she was completely unaware that her participation would be viewed as a violation and that her son would be sent back to jail. Perhaps she knew it wasn’t “completely” legal, but made a choice to do it anyways because this is her son, and she will always love him, unconditionally.  I am sure the last few months have been terrible for the entire family, and I am sure they are hoping that the accusation of homicide is just one big misunderstanding. Unfortunately, Hana Williams is dead, and her horrific suffering and tragic death make it difficult for most people to believe it was an accident. I hope this family will be able to accept the likely outcome of the trial.

Lastly, I want to applaud the aunt and uncle who refused the gifts and contacted the court to let them know that the order had been violated. They had the courage to come forward and report this to the authorities. I’m sure it was extremely painful, and I’m sure they wished that they didn’t have to do something that would put Larry (who is part of their family as well) back in jail, but they did the right thing. I am so grateful for that. Thank goodness these wonderful and brave people showed us all that there is still hope for truth, honesty and justice in the world.

The Importance of Apologies

Youngmom adds another tool to your Gentle Parenting Toolbox, Apology.  This is a very important post which explains the how and why of using apologies in gentle parenting.

Thoughts Of A Gentle Christian Mother

Alison Strobel shares how and why she became a Gentle Christian Mother and how it has improved her life.

Big Emotions

Dulce de Leche explains the importance of feelings in Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Big Emotions.

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) offers a 52 Tool Card Double Feature: Wheel of Choice and Anger Wheel of Choice.  She also has some insight from Jeff VanVonderen about three Greek words for anger in the Bible.

Bail Increased for Larry Williams

According to Komo News, the bail reduction for Larry Williams was revoked in court today and he is back in custody.  The article doesn’t exactly say that he is back in custody, but it implies it and his name is listed on the Skagit County Jail Roster.

Motion Denied in the Hana Alemu “Williams” Case

The Skagit Valley Herald reports that a Motion was denied to suppress investigative photos in Hana Williams death case.  The Williams did not give poor Hana any rights to privacy while she was alive and now they claim to want to protect her privacy.  It looks to me like it’s really themselves they want to protect.  I applaud Judge Susan Cook for seeing through their weak arguments.

Christianity Today Article on Corporal Punishment

Christianity Today Magazine has an article about Corporal Punishment in their January 2012 Issue which you might want to purchase.  When and if they post it online, I will post a link to it.  This article mentions Hana Alemu “Williams”,  Lydia Schatz and Sean Paddock and the influence of To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl.  It then goes on to discuss the spanking controversy and Professor William Webb’s book, Corporal Punishment In The Bible.

There is a discussion of the article on the Gentle Christian Mothers forum which contains a small quote.

Update:  It has been posted here.

Schatz Story #1 in the Paradise Post for 2011

The Paradise Post has released their top 10 news stories for 2011 and at the top of the list is the story about the Schatz couple pleading guilty. They mention that they case has remained in the news since.

Pearl has garnered a lot of interest this past year, being on Anderson Cooper (on both CNN and Fox) as well as NBC’s Today Show. It is my hope and prayer that as he gains notoriety, more and more people will see the dangers in his teachings and will avoid them. I also pray that those who continue to see good in his teachings will be more careful not to take them to a dangerous extreme.

I wish you and yours many blessings in the New Year. <3

Pearl on NBC’s Today Show

Michael Pearl and The Spanking Controversy were featured on NBC’s The Today Show this morning.

If anyone is unable to see the video for whatever reason, this article is pretty much a transcript of the show.

Also see this article from NBC which contains most of the story as well as the video clip.

The Los Angeles Times also reports on this story.

 

TodayMoms discusses the Pearls’ Teachings

I heard a couple of weeks ago that Michael Pearl was scheduled to be on the Today Show.  Well, I don’t know if this is related to that or not, but MSNBC’s Today Moms Blog is discussing his teachings in Controversy grows over pro-spanking book after abuse deaths.

Update:  Michael Pearl was on NBC’s Today Show on the morning of Dec 28, 2011.

A Look at Shaming and More

Emily of Peace On Dark Nights has a guest post at Our2crazyboys Where She Talks About Shaming.  I highly recommend that everyone read this and consider her words carefully.

While we’re discussing gentle parenting, take a look at Pearl In Oyster’s (PIO’s) post about Silent Signals, you might find it very useful.  This post is part of her series on 52 Tool  Cards.

Also, Youngmom has some helps for Turning Bad Days Around which you might find helpful.

 

Responding To Children With Grace

Carissa Robinson shares What Really Matters in a beautiful story of how she responded to a screaming fit with grace.

Jobs for Young Children

Pearl  In Oyster (PIO) looks at what Jobs one can expect their young children to do around the house.

Bill Gothard and His Definition of Grace

Cindy of Under Much Grace explains more about Bill Gothard and his erroneous definition of grace in Merging Justification and Sanctification: More About Gothard’s Thanksgiving Letter and Concerns About Grace

Another Abusive Church

Cindy of Under Much Grace reports on a Lutheran church in La Habra, California which reportedly had a man assigned to the task of disciplining teenaged boys with a metal rod. This is the first time I have heard of a church  Taking The Rod Verses Literally.  Well, maybe not exactly literally, as the rod was too small and made of the wrong substance, but more literal than most.  I suppose they perceive that they are being persecuted for the sake of righteousness. I wonder if they also stone adulteresses and blasphemers. I think that they need to focus more on the message of the New Testament.

Pearl and Esther on Anderson – The Video

Finally the long awaited video of Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on Anderson:

Part 1 in which Michael Pearl is interviewed and Elizabeth Esther arrives and explains why his teachings are wrong.

Part 2 in which Michael Pearl explains more of his teachings and the audience responds.

Part 3 in which D.A. in the Schatz case, Mike Ramsey, explains why he believes Michael Pearl’s teachings are dangerous.

Part 4 in which Mike & Trisha Fox say that they use Pearl’s teachings, (but not the rod)  and the audience responses some more.

Note:  Ignore the first few seconds of the first video.  ;-)

Many thanks to VHSScott for uploading these.

Gentle Parenting

I have had so much to share lately that my Gentle Parenting posts have been building up.  Here are some great posts to help you fill your Gentle Discipline Toolbox as well as encourage you in your Gentle Parenting.

Claire continues her Myth Busting at Dare To Disciple with Myth Busting 8: Breaking a lamb’s leg.

Dulce de Leche  explains about Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Stories.

Carissa Robinson shares about Parenting Through Changes.

Melissa aka YoungMom tells us why Everyday is Forever.

Pearl in Oyster continues her series 52 Tool Cards Double Feature: Empower your Kids and Encouragement.

Cultured Mama explains How to Raise a Human, Radically.

Sally Clarkson shares Her philosophy of parenting: Pondering Christ.

Hana and The Pearls in The Seattle Times

Jeff Hodson of the Seattle Times provides extensive coverage of the death of Hana Alemu “Williams” as well as the Pearls’ teachings in Did Hana’s parents ‘train’ her to death?  I am grateful for the link to this site.  Letters to the editor regarding that article are here.

Also, there is new story about Koko aka Lydia Schatz in All Voices.

AC360 Continues to look at Ungodly Discipline

On Friday Nov 25, Anderson Cooper continued his look at Ungodly Discipline. Here is the video and here is the transcript.

Also, here is more about Spanking in Christian Schools aired on Dec 1, 2011.