Christian arguments against the Pearls' teachings.
Dara Stoltzfus discusses the influence we have on our children in What Do Your Kids See You Doing?
While you’re at Dara’s blog, you will also want to read, her very thought provoking post, Kids need consequences to learn right from wrong, don’t they?! in which she considers two possible responses to a child stealing and considers which would teach the child more.
Jesse Hoover writes about how being gentle allowed him to correct without losing his son’s heart in When An Iron Fist Turns Soft.
Dara Stoltzfus shares about how gentle parenting saved her life as she discusses blind obedience.
Jeri, of Gentle Christian Mothers, shares about how Gentle Parenting is working now that her children are older.
Note from Hermana Linda: This is the continuation of a conversation in the comments of Steph’s article on Attachment Theory. Read Part 1 here. This exchange starts here.
Hi Steph, thank you for your kind reply. I totally see your point. I didn’t mention the details on how my child responds when separated. She ofcourse resists a bit but goes back to normal play within a minute or two. Getting back together is a happy time for both of us but she doesn’t need extra attention but she is loving as always. I can only speak from my own experience and I am trying to find the truth without any bias. When you say brain damage, I can’t understand that because my daughter met all her developmental milestones 6 months ahead of her peers and she is nearly 4 now and has even started reading. I often see how totally she trusts me to keep my word and to take care of her if she is in any kind of danger.
I understand God doesn’t want us to cry as it makes him sad as well. But I do see in so many peoples lives that God allows some painful experiences so that they will shine even more brightly for His glory. When we did sleep training, we did make sure that she is completely safe, fed, changed and comfortable and we watched her through the video monitor to make sure her safety. Sure it was hard for us and hard for her. And I wouldn’t do it for a minute if it was not beneficial for her. That training has just done her so much good that she became more fresh and attentive during her wake times and happier.
Note from Hermana Linda: We appreciate getting comments and read every one. This comment from Jo about Attachment Theory elicited such an insightful response from Steph that I have decided to highlight it here.
From my personal experience with my own child, if you provide consistent care and love in meeting the needs of the child throughout the day, a little sleep training at night develops an even healthier attachment. My child is the most securely attached child I have seen because she is able to stay away from me without much distress as long as I tell her beforehand and also comes back to me with even more love when i get back to her. Crying it out works perfectly but should only be done if the parents are able to provide love and care for the child and securely attach in every way. We did sleep training for her when she was 9 months old and within 3 nights, she started sleeping through the night and sleeps in her own room. She is a very happy child then and now.
Dara Stoltzfus looks at the question, if discipline equals punishment, why does (Self) Discipline not equal (Self) Punishment ?
Sally Clarkson explains how meeting your baby’s needs is following The Golden Rule in Pick Up Your Baby! Do Unto Then What You Would Have Done To You!
Dara Stoltzfus asks those who were spanked if they are really okay. Her questions are sure food for thought.
She also looks at how children develop trust that God hears us. The answer might surprise you.
Stephanie just started a new blog called The Shepherd’s Apprentice.
In her first post, she explains about the sin nature of babies and children and how we should respond to it.
She then posts about Selfish Babies or rather, if there is such a thing.
She ties it up with a look at Sin, How To Get What You Want.
Not bad for her first day. 
Dara Stoltzfus reflects on how punitive parenting has affected her inner being in I was spanked and I’m NOT OK: Why and what I do.
And just for fun, the Honest Toddler explains why it is futile to force your toddler to apologize. I know that this is meant to be funny, but there is an underlying element of truth to this and something to consider. Here is more of the Toddler’s Eye View on life.
Carissa Robinson continues her look “at the true meaning of discipline, and how it has been warped by both Christian and secular philosophies and misconceptions about childhood” in Paideia, Part 2. In this post she looks at the meaning of the Greek word, Paideia, and how it has been translated throughout the New Testament.
For more about the meaning of Paideia, please see her interesting comments in this post, especially this one.
Carissa Robinson has started a new series called, Paideia, in which she looks “at the true meaning of discipline, and how it has been warped by both Christian and secular philosophies and misconceptions about childhood.”
She opens with a look at a toddler”s defiance, (or is it defiance?) in Paideia Part 1
Dulce de Leche looks at how Gentle Discipline Failed Her. Or did it?
Along similar lines, MamaPsalmist considers the Gift of a Willful Child.
And Dara Stoltzfus continues her look at how she was spanked and did NOT turn out OK.
William Sears, M.D. looks at Christian Parenting and Baby Training in a parable called, The Journey of Michael and Susan.
We continue our look at the goal of parenting.
Dara Stoltzfus examines Cooperation vs Compliance: Love vs Fear.
The Hippie Housewife considers Asking the right questions.
Dara Stoltzfus has another story which demonstrates the fruits of not spanking. With this story she makes the point that we really need to decide if our goal in parenting is obedience or to raise a thoughtful, loving, healthy adult. For more stories like this, see my Fruits of Gentle Parenting Tag.
Dara Stoltzfus shares more fruits of gentle parenting. This fruit says that You’re Not a Failure.
Also, consider her post about Being punished for venting.
Claire, over at Dare To Disciple, continues with her Myth Busting series with Punishment Works.
Dara Stoltzfus is on a roll. Today’s post confronts another Facebook Meme, My Promise To My Children.
Dara Stoltzfus shows us how we can raise children to not see abusive behavior as normal in Wives With Knives.
Dara Stolzfus has many other excellent posts. I have already linked to many of them. I must now link to this post about Consequences and how we react when we mess up.
While I’m at it, I will also link to another interesting post called Looking Up.
Does the Bible teach that delayed obedience is disobedience? To answer that question, Carissa Robinson examines the Parable of The Two Sons in First Time, With a Happy Heart.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
As I draw this series to a close, I want to take a look at using all of these positive discipline strategies that I have discussed throughout this series with “strong-willed children.” All of the strategies from mindful modeling, setting up the environment, setting limits, and using natural and logical consequences, etc. all work with all children. Some children may require a bit of creativity, but since all of these strategies are biblically based, they will work even with a “strong-willed” child. In this brief conclusion to this series, I want to focus on using positive, grace filled, firm discipline with “strong-willed” children.
“Strong-Willed” Children—“Positive discipline doesn’t work for my children!”
As we know from Part 1 of “The Christian History of Spanking,” breaking children’s wills has been a theme throughout history of Christian pro-spankers even though there is no biblical support for parents to break their children’s wills. Yet, even today, most Christian pro-spankers advocate the need to break children’s wills. And having a “strong-willed” child is seen as a negative as that child’s parents must work even harder to break his or her will. What these Christian pro-spankers fail to understand is that using physical punishment with “strong-willed” children actually makes these children even more angry and defiant. Sadly, as we’ve seen throughout all my series, some of these children have died because the multiple spankings broke their bodies before their wills.
I believe that there is no difference between our wills and our spirits. They are one and the same just as the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and God are one and the same. God creates us with a will. If God creates wills, then why would He want us to break the wills of children when they are discovering who they are and Who God is? [Read more...]
Carissa Robinson shares that Gentle Parenting is not always a bed of roses and how to get through the hard times in Bumbling Along.
Dulce de Leche hosts a post by Samuel Martin on the topic of How Jesus Would Parent, in which we look at an example of Jesus using Gentle Parenting.
Rebecca Diamond explains why she is not worried about raising a spoiled brat in He’s A Spoiled Brat – And I’m Proud Of It!
I have heard a few requests for more info on what to do when Gentle Discipline does not seem to be working. I hope this is helpful.
Ruvin, from By The Hui, looks at the Myth of The Perfect Child. She is promising a mini-series so stay tuned.
Update: Part 2, Mole Hills, is now up.
Molly shares a beautiful story about the fruit her gently parented 3 yr old is already displaying in A Soft Answer…
Dulce de Leche continues her 10 Commandments for Parents series with 10 Commandments for Parents: Forsaking All Others.
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