Testimony of Gentle Parenting

Gentle Christian Mothers has posted a testimony on her Facebook page. She includes a lovely photo of her 4 children, I do hope you will take a look. It is a public post so I do not believe that you need to have a Facebook account in order to view it.

Understanding Toddler Meltdowns

What is the right response to a toddler’s meltdown? Would understanding them help? You bet it would! For that reason, I am sharing this very helpful and insightful post from Stephanie Cox, The Brain Overload During Meltdowns Is Real!

Edited to add, here is the follow up to this post.

There’s More To This Than Meets The Eye

Perhaps you have heard of Rachel Dolezal, she has been in the media a lot lately. She recently resigned from her posistion as NAACP leader after her parents informed the media that she was white. I had a feeling that there was something behind this all that we didn’t know, so I was not very surprised to find out that her parents trained her using the book, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. Here is the article from Homeschoolers Anonymous:

THE MEDIA IS DOING EXACTLY WHAT RACHEL DOLEZAL’S ABUSIVE HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS WANT

Speaking of “more than meets the eye,” I have not been posting much and I missed sharing a blog post which discusses a study about the damange corporal punishment does to a child’s brain.

And while I’m sharing things which went out through my Facebook Feed, but not here, some of you might be interested in these Tips for getting toddlers to cooperate while shopping from Purple Puzzle Place.

Teaching Children How To Appolgize

JoEllen from CuppaCocoa explains how to teach children A Better Way To Say Sorry.  This method is phenomenal as are the results of teaching it.  As Dara Stoltzfus said on the Facebook page for this site.

I’ve used this approach with my kids and it’s really the best way to go. Just forcing the “I’m sorry” thing doesn’t help anyone or teach kids “why” they should be sorry. I find too that when you talk to them about what they did wrong, once they’re used to this way of apologizing, they do it on their own. They will spontaneously offer an apology and ask forgiveness without being prompted to do so once they understand “why” what they did was wrong.

And, the funny thing is…once my oldest…did something and then she came to me and asked me to forgive her and I realized at that moment that here…I’d been wanting to wallow in my anger. I wanted to stay mad at her. I wanted to somehow “make her suffer” for what she’d done (the effects of having been spanked showing thru in me) and when she asked me that I had to deal with that IN ME.

Thoughtful parenting really changes US in such amazing ways.

This post is part of a larger series on How To Shape Children’s Behavior.

She also has some good marriage advice.

News Article About Stephanie Cox

The Southern Illinoisan has an article about Stephanie Cox and and how she came to write a gentle Parenting book with her nose.

Here is more information about Stephanie Cox.

Should A Christian Let A Baby “Cry It Out?”

Elrena Evans looks at Crying It Out from a Christian Point of View in Christianity Today.  This is not a new article, but I just found it.  It is a response to an article in Psychology Today called, Dangers of Crying It Out by Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D.

Gentle Nighttime Parenting

Sarah Mae looks at gentle nighttime parenting in Maybe Your Two Year Old Just Needs You.

While we’re on the topic of nighttime parenting, here is something Steph from Grace For My Sheep wrote about sleep training.

 

Preparing Young Children for Eating Out

Gentle Mother, Megbar, took her preschoolers out to dinner for the first time the other night.  Wanting to make it a pleasant experience, she prepared them by explaining to them what they should expect and what she expected of them.  The dinner went so well that she shared about it on Gentle Christian Mothers. I encourage you to go read about it as it is very encouraging.

While we’re on the subject, here is more from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

 

Good Baby?

Grace For My Sheep  considers how much more important it is to meet the needs of her child than to worry about the “parent-judgers” in Not a “Good Baby,” Not a “Pharisee Momma.”

New Gentle Parenting Blog

There is a brand new blog called, Grace For My Sheep. Her latest post looks at a human’s inherent need for Jesus and how that relates to gentle parenting. Lovely!

While we’re on the subject of Gentle Parenting, here is a very helpful post from Hippie Housewife called, Ten alternatives To Time Outs.  The more tools we have in our toolbox, the better.

Getting Rid Of Weeds

Dara Stoltzfus compares bad behavior in our children to Weeds in a Garden and comes up with some interesting allegories.

This is a little off topic, but I just came across a news story about a family who noticed their very gentle dog acting aggressively towards the baby sitter. They left a device under the couch to record and found out the awful truth.  I post this as a reminder to never dismiss strange behavior in animals or children.  When a small child or trusted pet suddenly shows explainable fear or aggression towards someone, take it as a red flag and investigate.

There Is More Than One Way To Train A Child

Rebecca Diamond considered one kind of Child Training but ended up embracing Child Training of quite a different sort.

Consequences and Examples

Dara Stoltzfus discusses the influence we have on our children in What Do Your Kids See You Doing?

While you’re at Dara’s blog, you will also want to read, her very thought provoking post, Kids need consequences to learn right from wrong, don’t they?! in which she considers two possible responses to a child stealing and considers which would teach the child more.

Benefits of Gentle Parenting

Jesse Hoover writes about how being gentle allowed him to correct without losing his son’s heart in When An Iron Fist Turns Soft.

Dara Stoltzfus shares about how gentle parenting saved her life as she discusses blind obedience.

Gentle Parenting Older Children

Jeri, of Gentle Christian Mothers, shares about how Gentle Parenting is working now that her children are older.

Attachment Only By Day? – Part 2

Note from Hermana Linda:   This is the continuation of a conversation in the comments of Steph’s article on Attachment Theory.  Read Part 1 here.   This exchange starts here.

Hi Steph, thank you for your kind reply. I totally see your point. I didn’t mention the details on how my child responds when separated. She ofcourse resists a bit but goes back to normal play within a minute or two. Getting back together is a happy time for both of us but she doesn’t need extra attention but she is loving as always. I can only speak from my own experience and I am trying to find the truth without any bias. When you say brain damage, I can’t understand that because my daughter met all her developmental milestones 6 months ahead of her peers and she is nearly 4 now and has even started reading. I often see how totally she trusts me to keep my word and to take care of her if she is in any kind of danger.
I understand God doesn’t want us to cry as it makes him sad as well. But I do see in so many peoples lives that God allows some painful experiences so that they will shine even more brightly for His glory. When we did sleep training, we did make sure that she is completely safe, fed, changed and comfortable and we watched her through the video monitor to make sure her safety. Sure it was hard for us and hard for her. And I wouldn’t do it for a minute if it was not beneficial for her. That training has just done her so much good that she became more fresh and attentive during her wake times and happier.

[Read more…]

Attachment Only By Day? – Part 1

Note from Hermana Linda: We appreciate getting comments and read every one.   This comment from Jo about Attachment Theory elicited such an insightful response from Steph that I have decided to highlight it here.

From my personal experience with my own child, if you provide consistent care and love in meeting the needs of the child throughout the day, a little sleep training at night develops an even healthier attachment. My child is the most securely attached child I have seen because she is able to stay away from me without much distress as long as I tell her beforehand and also comes back to me with even more love when i get back to her. Crying it out works perfectly but should only be done if the parents are able to provide love and care for the child and securely attach in every way. We did sleep training for her when she was 9 months old and within 3 nights, she started sleeping through the night and sleeps in her own room. She is a very happy child then and now.

Discipline = Punishment? Really?

Dara Stoltzfus looks at the question, if discipline equals punishment, why does (Self) Discipline not equal (Self) Punishment ?

The Golden Rule

Sally Clarkson explains how meeting your baby’s needs is following The Golden Rule in Pick Up Your Baby!  Do Unto Then What You Would Have Done To You!

If You were Spanked, Are You Really OK?

Dara Stoltzfus asks those who were spanked if they are really okay.  Her questions are sure food for thought.

She also looks at how children develop trust that God hears us.  The answer might surprise you.

Babies, Children and Sin Nature

Stephanie just started a new blog called The Shepherd’s Apprentice.

In her first post, she explains about the sin nature of babies and children and how we should respond to it.

She then posts about Selfish Babies or rather, if there is such a thing.

She ties it up with a look at Sin, How To Get What You Want.

Not bad for her first day.  😉

Effects of Punitive Parenting

Dara Stoltzfus reflects on how punitive parenting has affected her inner being in I was spanked and I’m NOT OK: Why and what I do.

And just for fun, the Honest Toddler explains why it is futile to force your toddler to apologize. I know that this is meant to be funny, but there is an underlying element of truth to this and something to consider.   Here is more of the Toddler’s Eye View on life.

Does “Discipline” Equal Spanking?

Carissa Robinson continues her look “at the true meaning of discipline, and how it has been warped by both Christian and secular philosophies and misconceptions about childhood” in Paideia, Part 2.  In this post she looks at the meaning of the Greek word, Paideia, and how it has been translated throughout the New Testament.

For more about the meaning of Paideia, please see her interesting comments in this post, especially this one.

Defiant Toddlers?

Carissa Robinson has started a new series called, Paideia, in which she looks “at the true meaning of discipline, and how it has been warped by both Christian and secular philosophies and misconceptions about childhood.”

She opens with a look at a toddler”s defiance, (or is it defiance?) in Paideia Part 1

When Gentle Discipline Fails

Dulce de Leche looks at how Gentle Discipline Failed Her. Or did it?

Along similar lines, MamaPsalmist considers the Gift of a Willful Child.

And Dara Stoltzfus continues her look at how she was spanked and did NOT turn out OK.

Dr. Sears Looks At Baby Training

William Sears, M.D. looks at Christian Parenting and Baby Training in a parable called, The Journey of Michael and Susan.

Goal of Parenting

We continue our look at the goal of parenting.

Dara Stoltzfus examines  Cooperation vs Compliance: Love vs Fear.

The Hippie Housewife considers Asking the right questions.

Even More Fruits of Gentle Discipline

Dara Stoltzfus has another story which demonstrates the fruits of not spanking.  With this story she makes the point that we really need to decide if our goal in parenting is obedience or to raise a thoughtful, loving, healthy adult.  For more stories like this, see my Fruits of Gentle Parenting Tag.

Also, see my next post for more about the Goals of Parenting.

More Fruits of Gentle Discipline

Dara Stoltzfus shares more fruits of  gentle parenting.  This fruit says that You’re Not a Failure.

Also, consider her post about Being punished for venting.

Punishment Works?

Claire, over at Dare To Disciple, continues with her Myth Busting series with Punishment Works.