Always The Woman’s Fault?

Forgedimagination responds to an article by the Pearls in Cloistered Fruit: (Not) An Open Letter To The Pearls.   This is a rather extreme example of their teaching that everything comes down to being the fault of the woman (or in this case, women.)

Is Debi Pearl to Blame?

Livinginblurredlines shares how the advice in Debi Pearl’s book, Created To Be His Help Meet negatively affected her marriage.  However she does not want to put the blame on Debi Pearl saying,

Blaming Debi Pearl’s “Created To Be His Helpmeet” book for what I am going through is like blaming a cookbook for your burned dinner.

I’m not so sure I agree with that. If the cookbook tells me to cook the dinner for 30 minutes at 350 and I cook the dinner for 3o minutes at 350 and it burns, I’m going to warn people that the cookbook has some bad information in it.  Sure, I should have kept an eye on the food and noticed if it started burning and saved my dinner.  But whether I saved my dinner or not, the cookbook has shown itself to contain unreliable information and people should be warned about it.

That said, she makes some  good points, especially that one should look to God first and foremost.  Amen.

More on Created To Be His Help Meet

Sheila Wray Gregoire discusses Debi Pearl, Wife Abuse and True Submission in Submission Doesn’t Mean Lying Over And Taking It.   The discussion in the Comments is also very interesting.  It was there that I found he following link:

Natalie at Dusty Feet has been working on a very detailed book review of Created To Be His Help Meet.

Discussing Tim Challies’ Reviews

Recovering Grace promotes Tim Challies’ review of Created To Be His Help Meet. Also, someone brings up his review of To Train Up A Child in the comments and discussion of the Pearls ensues which might be of interest to my readers.

 

A Complementarian’s Concerns With Created To Be His Help Meet

Complementarian Tim Challies analyses Debi Pearl’s book, Created To Be His Help Meet and points out his concerns with the teachings therein.

Part 1 looks at the harsh and critical spirit and the foolish counsel.

Part 2 looks at “poor theology, poor use of Scripture and far too little gospel.”

This is an excellent review to share with complementarians.

The Fruit of Pearl’s Parenting

It makes me so happy to hear from those who have given up using Pearl’s teachings.  I got a very interesting email recently which I have been given permission to share with you all.

Hi,

I just came across your website, and I really like it. I’m thankful for the time that you have put into it- I hope and pray it will help many a questioning parent who is or has used the Pearl’s discipline methods. I am one of them. Sort of. Heard about it, got the book, started to implement, and then something just didn’t settle right in my spirit. I continued reading and even got “Created to Be His Help Meet”. Again, I was really conflicted about accepting everything they were saying. I watched some of their videos on YouTube…and wanted to share one with you. This video is Shalom, one of the Pearl’s grown daughters, talking about an incident at her wedding that saddened and grieved me so much. I would be so sad if one of my own daughters were to grow up and found it normal to be a with a man who treated her this way. I always like to see the “end result” of different discipline methods- and this video really showed me clearly that to use the TTUAC method, aside from hurting my children, I could also very well be sending my child into an unhealthy marriage. The story Shalom tells starts at about 1:15.

The video is called  Starting a Bible Study – Preparing To Be A Help Meet – Conversations and is part of the promotion for Debi Pearl’s new book for unmarried women.  In case you do not want to watch the video, I will summarize the story which Shalom Pearl Brand shared.  She was sharing a funny story from a wedding.  She has a really good one.  😆 See, when they had been married for about 30 minutes, they were doing the thing where the bride and groom feed each other a bit of wedding cake.  After she put the bite in his mouth he blew it back all over her. It got all over her face, hair and dress.  The ladies all gasped and the men all roared with laughter.  The bride laughed it off and cleaned herself off.  The wedding dress got stained but that’s ok, after all, it was home-made and cost only about $100.  Isn’t that just the funniest story?  No?  Hmmm…  Maybe it would seem funnier if you watched her tell it herself…  Or maybe it would be even sadder.  😥

CTBHH – Dangerous Advice with Heresy

ChucklesTravels reviews Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl which he deems Dangerous Advice mixed with a lot of Heresy.

How To Be A Good Wife

Aubry Grace  looks at the fallacy of trying to follow the advice in books like Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and An Excellent Wife by Martha Peace in her post, The Gospel Driven Marriage: How To Be A Good Wife.  Excellent advice which I think every married person should read.

And in the interest of fairness, here is a good post for the unmarried to read. <3

Mixed feelings about Created To Be His Help Meet

Elizabeth, at Virginia Is For Mothers, reviews Created To Be His Help Meet. While she got a lot of positive things out of it, she has some concerns.  I am linking to this post for 2 reasons.

1) This is a good review to share with people who got a lot out of the book and are wondering what could possibly be wrong with it.  If you share a very negative review with them, they will likely be resistant to the message therein.  This review brings up concerns from someone who, for the most part, liked the book.

2) She is interested to know what others got out of it.   I assume that she will find her way here and may be interested in the other reviews which I have collected.

By the way, she asks what we think about the allegation that Bathsheba can be blamed for enticing King David by bathing on her roof. The roof in those days was what our patios are today, it was probably enclosed and she probably did not expect anyone to be able to see her. I’m not sure if that was the usual custom or not. Also, the Bible says that it was the time when Kings go to war. I have heard many sermons teach that King David had no business in the palace at all because he was supposed to be at war leading his men. It seems to me that she thought that all the men were at war and would not be spying on her. But even if she were trying to entice him, the fault would still be his for not looking away and resisting. We can look at Joseph in his encounter with Potiphar’s wife to see how God expects a man to react to temptation.

An Open Letter to Debi Pearl

Another wife has tried and tested Debi Pearl’s Book, Created To Be His Help Meet and found that it nearly destroyed both her and her marriage. She tells her story in An Open Letter To Debi Pearl.

Created to be his Help Meet – A Review (sort of).

Created to be his Help Meet – A Review (sort of) is an exposé of Created To Be His Help Meet. He does a very good job of responding to the problematic parts of this book with Biblical corrections.

ThatMom Responds to Joy about Debi Pearl

I just came across an interesting post from ThatMom about Debi Pearl and her book, Created To Be His Helpmeet. She is responding to Joy, who defended Debi Pearl in a comment on a previous post back in March of 2010:

Responding to Joy about Debi Pearl

Behind Closed Doors

Glenys shares a heartbreaking and powerful blog entry about an abusive marriage and exposes how damaging the advice contained in Created To Be His Helpmeet, by Debi Pearl, is.

Preparing To Be A Help Meet

I find it odd that Yahoo News has a good review of Debi Pearl’s newest book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.

You may comment on that article there as well as on the Topix site.

Yahoo did not allow me to submit my comment, probably because it was a link to this site.  My concerns about this new book are based on my concerns about the original book Created To Be His Help Meet.  I have links to many book reviews of that book which explain the dangerous teachings in that book.


Edited to add:  As of Dec 23, 2010 those link are no longer valid.  Just as well.  😉

Kristina’s Keepsakes review of CTBHH

Kristina’s Keepsakes has started a series analyzing the Pearls’ books, starting with Created To Be His Helpmeet.
Created To Be His Helpmeet Part 1
Created To Be His Helpmeet Part 2

Responses to Created To Be His Helpmeet and other marital advice

Spunky’s Blog entry about Created To Be His Helpmeet

The Pearls Respond to the Blogs by Spunky

“Created to Be His Help Meet” discussion

Today, I’ll let Mr. Pearl speak for himself… by Rebecca

I feel sorry for Debi and Michael Pearl! from Emotional Abuse and Your Faith

is debi pearl’s “created to be his helpmeet” really biblical? by ThatMom

Razorbackmama’s commentary of Created To Be His Helpmeet