Dara Stoltzfus is on a roll. Today’s post confronts another Facebook Meme, My Promise To My Children.
Latebloomer was raised in Reb Bradley’s church, Hope Chapel, and is one of the Sheltered, Controlled Homeschoolers who “didn’t ‘turn out right,’ yet another disappointment to the former parents and leadership of Hope Chapel.” She shares some important insights about this in “Biblical” Parenting, Introduction. (By the way, I was surprised to see Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz mentioned in this post.)
This post is the introduction to series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley’s book “Child Training Tips”. In this series of posts she looks at how this kind of parenting is “damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of authority and submission.”
Each Post in her series focuses on one criticism.
Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst in which we see the concept of adversarial relationships taken to new levels.
Criticism #2: Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child’s mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood in which we learn how his teaching grooms perfect victims for child predators by breaking the child’s will, removing their sense of bodily ownership and teaching them that they must respect and obey anyone older than themselves.
Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts through Spanking in which we learn about his teachings on spanking which take abuse to new levels as well as his “severe misunderstanding of the Bible and serious scholarly negligence.”
Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates In Order to Control in which we learn that he teaches parents to isolate their children from the world and the results of such isolation.
Molly explains Adversarial parenting and how to avoid it in What punitive is apart from spanking….
Dulce de Leche looks at the punitive mindset and how it affects our relationships with our children in It’s Not Just About Spanking.
Dulce de Leche explains how she came to chose Gentle Discipline 7 years ago and examines the fruits of her decision in 7 Year Harvest.
This article by Sally Clarkson asks us to consider whether we want our children see us as Adversaries or Advocates.
Along similar lines, Dulce de Leche writes about different ways of seeing God in Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.
Edited to add: Sally Clarkson has more to say on this topic in Mentoring Monday: Advocate or Adversary: Your view of God Determines your Parenting Philosophy.
Claire has been doing some Myth Busting over at Dare to Disciple. Today I would like to feature Myth Busting 3: Backtalk, Consistency and the United Front.
For your convenience, here are her previous posts:
Dulce de Leche has written a post explaining how Punitive Parenting Shames the Parents in This Hurts Me As Much As It Hurts You.