Analyzing A Problematic Post by Pearl

Sarah at Field of Vision has started a small series of posts looking at the Pearl’s teachings and specifically their attitude towards children.  This series focuses on one particular article by Michael Pearl called, Emotional Manipulators.

Part 1: Parenting and the Power of Perspective in which she discusses how Michael Pearl assigns negative intent to a 4 year old child and her mother.

Part 2: Michael Pearl and Responding to Attention Seekers in which she discusses Michael Pearl’s diagnosis of the child and his very harsh proposed remedy.

She may post more of this series in the future, in which case I will add them to this post.

Another Facebook Meme Debunked

Dara Stoltzfus is on a roll.  Today’s post confronts another Facebook Meme, My Promise To My Children.

Reb Bradley

Latebloomer was raised in Reb Bradley’s church, Hope Chapel, and is one of the Sheltered, Controlled Homeschoolers who “didn’t ‘turn out right,’ yet another disappointment to the former parents and leadership of Hope Chapel.”  She shares some important insights about this in “Biblical” Parenting, Introduction.  (By the way, I was surprised to see Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz mentioned in this post.)

This post is the introduction to series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley’s book “Child Training Tips”.  In this series of posts she looks at how this kind of parenting is “damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of authority and submission.”

Each Post in her series focuses on one criticism.

Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst in which we see the concept of adversarial relationships taken to new levels.

Criticism #2: Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child’s mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood
in which we learn how his teaching grooms perfect victims for child predators by breaking the child’s will, removing their sense of bodily ownership and teaching them that they must respect and obey anyone older than themselves.

Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts through Spanking in which we learn about his teachings on spanking which take abuse to new levels as well as his “severe misunderstanding of the Bible and serious scholarly negligence.”

Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates In Order to Control in which we learn that he teaches parents to isolate their children from the world and the results of such isolation.

Conclusion

Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

Sarah explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small.  She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.

Avoiding Adversarial Parenting

Molly explains Adversarial parenting and how to avoid it in What punitive is apart from spanking….

Responses to Pearl on Anderson

I have yet to watch Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on Anderson other than a few clips.  I hope to someday find it online in its entirely at which time I will certainly link.  By the way, it will be airing in the Los Angeles Area on FOX 11 at 1pm.   Meanwhile, here are some responses from the Blogosphere.

Hannah of Emotional Abuse And Your Faith asks, Do we understand insensitivity?

Cindy of Under Much Grace answers the question, What is Biblical Chastisement?
as well as, Why is the Pearl Method So Insidious and Dangerous?

MamaPsalmist reacts in No More Dead Kids and its followup, And Another Thing.

Gentle Parenting Is More Than Just Not Spanking

Dulce de Leche looks at the punitive mindset and how it affects our relationships with our children in It’s Not Just About Spanking.

Christians Who Don’t Spank and Why

I came across 2 Christian bloggers who very eloquently explain why they don’t spank.

Spanking…..The Post I Finally Had to Write and Spare the Rod: What Spanking Teaches Children by Amanda at Not Just Cute

To spank or not to spank? by Raqual at Connected Christian Mom

Fruits of Gentle Discipline

Dulce de Leche explains how she came to chose Gentle Discipline 7 years ago and examines the fruits of her decision in  7 Year Harvest.

Understanding The Nature of Children

Discipleship Parenting writes about Understanding the Nature of Children in which she looks at what the Bible says about the nature of infants and children and what our response to them should be.

Dulce de Leche also writes about the sin nature of babies in Sons of Adam Daughters of Eve.

Damaging Effects of Punishment on Children

GreeneGem explains the damage  which was done to her by her mothers trampling on her Boundaries.

Speaking of damage, did you know that when babies are left to cry it out, their little bodies are being flooded with Cortisol?   Discipleship Parenting looks at what  effect that has on them.

Meanwhile Pearl, from An Apprenticeship in the Art of Gentle Discipline, looks at the Spiritual Discipline of Parenting to Sleep.

Analyzing the Schatz Tragedy

Cindy, from Under Much Grace, analyzes what causes people like Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz to harm their children in a new series:
Why Good People Make Dangerous Choices (Pondering Pearl and Lydia Schatz)

An Introduction

Part I: Virtue In Place of Unquestioned Obedience.

Part II: How Dehumanization (and Declaring War Against Family Members) Causes Moral Disengagement

Part III: Defining Aggression as Normal, Acceptable, and Desired Behavior

An Addendum Note About Lydia Schatz and the Correction She Suffered for a Mispronounced Word: Liberian Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder

Part IV: The Milgram Experiment and the Pressure to Commit Evil for the Common Good

Part V: Pondering the Atrocities of the Jewish Holocaust and its Relationship to the Study of Obedience

Bad Apples or Bad Barrels? The Short and Long Versions of Zimbardo on the Lucifer Effect

Part VI: The Calm Before the Storm Following the Schatzes’ “Guilty” Pleas

Part VII: The Breaking the “Diabolical Will” of Infants in the IFB – Even at Hephzibah House

Part VIII: There But For Grace

Part IX: Using the Milgram Study to Understand How Pearl Becomes Appealing

Part X: The Schatz Family is Not Unique

Adversary or Advocate?

This article by Sally Clarkson asks us to consider whether we want our children see us as Adversaries or Advocates.

Along similar lines, Dulce de Leche writes about different ways of seeing God in Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.

Edited to add: Sally Clarkson has more to say on this topic in Mentoring Monday: Advocate or Adversary: Your view of God Determines your Parenting Philosophy.

Kidney Damage and The Pearl Method

Cindy, of Under Much Grace, explains exactly what Rhabdomyolosis is in, How Do We Track Kidney Failure and Kidney Damage in Children Who Are Trained Using the Pearl Method? She explains that kidney damage is permanent and wonders how many children are living with a chronic yet undiagnosed condition in this important and informative post.

Also, don’t miss this internet radio show about the same topic.

 

Meanwhile, the Schatz trial has been scheduled and both the Chico Enterprise Record and the Paradise Post are running the following story which I will paste here for permanence.

By RYAN OLSON – Staff Writer
Posted: 03/31/2011 12:00:00 AM PDT

OROVILLE — After a couple of postponements, a trial is ready to proceed in the case of a Paradise couple charged with allegedly whipping their adopted daughter to death and torturing another.

Attorneys representing Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz told Butte County Superior Court Judge Kristen Lucena they were ready to begin the trial on April 11.

The trial was initially set to begin in November, but was delayed so attorneys could review thousands of pages of evidence.

A second date for February was set aside in favor the April 11 date.

During Wednesday’s trial readiness conference, Lucena determined the trial would take place in her courtroom.

The prosecution alleges Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz used a length of quarter-inch plumber’s supply line to beat adopted daughters Lydia Schatz, 7, and Zariah Schatz, then 11, during separate “Biblical chastisements” on Feb. 4 and 5, 2010.

Lydia Schatz was taken to Feather River Hospital after the mother reported to 9-1-1 that she had stopped breathing. Zariah Schatz arrived at a Sacramento hospital in critical condition with whip-like marks before recovering.

The Schatzes have pleaded not guilty to charges of murder, torture involving great bodily injury and misdemeanor child abuse. If convicted, each could face a maximum sentence of two life terms in prison.

Before the trial date, there will be an April 8 hearing for motions that should be considered before a jury is selected.

At that time, the defense will
have an opportunity to respond to Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey’s recent request to include hearsay evidence based on out-of-court statements from Zariah Schatz.

While Zariah Schatz will be called to testify, Ramsey said outside of court that she had also spoken to police and medical personnel after her sister’s death.

Staff writer Ryan Olson can be reached at 896-7763 or rolson@chicoer.com.

THE CASE: On Feb. 4 and 5, 2010, Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz of Paradise allegedly used a whip-like instrument to discipline two adopted daughters in separate incidents. The 7-year-old daughter stopped breathing and subsequently died from her injuries. The 11-year-old daughter suffered serious injuries but recovered.

THE CHARGES: Both parents face counts of murder, torture involving great bodily injury and misdemeanor child abuse.

The Christian History of Spanking Part 1

This page was part of the rough draft of the soon-to-be-released book, “Gentle Firmness,” by Stephanie Cox.  You may read a few chapters from the book  here.

Spanking is NOT God’s Will Part 8

More information on the Book, Gentle Firmness, by Stephanie Cox

( part 1 ) ( part 2 ) ( part 3 )

What is grace?  This is the question running through my head as I wrestle with a bit of discouragement as children continue to be harmed by well-meaning people who want so badly to obey God in their parenting.  As I continue to hear the same comments from pro-spankers who seem almost desperate to defend themselves for fear of being wrong.  As I hear on the morning news that two teenagers were shot and killed by their own mother because they were being “mouthy.”  As a book that advocates spanking infants may be being used by people that I know.  What is grace?  Who deserves grace?  Is the Bible Truth or something that can be used however we want in order to support our own beliefs?  What does it mean to be Spirit led and to take up our crosses and follow Jesus?  Why do some Christians proclaim, “God hates fags?”  Why is there so much division in the Body of Christ when God commands us to be “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind” Philippians 2:2?

Another thing that keeps popping up in my mind and during my Bible study is the following verse:

“So he said to me, ‘This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty” Zechariah 4:6.

This verse is in context with an angel showing Zechariah a vision seemingly related to the coming of a future Messiah to rescue the people.  Yesterday in church, the pastor discussed the uneventful way that Jesus quietly came on the scene amidst the crowds that were waiting by the Jordan River in order to be baptized by a relative, John The Baptist (Matthew 3:13-17).  Everyone thought that the Messiah would come and mightily restore Israel with a mighty sword.  But instead, Jesus came as an infant and lived in humble settings.  He didn’t even look like a powerful king that everyone expected Him to be.  Look how Isaiah the prophet described Jesus: [Read more…]

Myth Busting

Claire has been doing some Myth Busting over at Dare to Disciple.   Today  I would like to feature  Myth Busting 3: Backtalk, Consistency and the United Front.

For your convenience, here are her previous posts:

Spanking and Proverbs – Part 3: Believer’s Behavior

Barefoot Betsy looks at “what the rest of the Bibles says about spanking in the light of what the Bible – in particular, the New Testament – says about how we, as Christians, are to behave” in Spanking and Proverbs- Part 3: Believer’s Behavior.

How Punitive Parenting Shames Parents

Dulce de Leche has written a post explaining how Punitive Parenting Shames the Parents in This  Hurts Me As Much As It Hurts You.

What Gentle Discipline Is Not – Part 3

Carissa Robinson continues her explanation of what Gentle Discipline is not with what Gentle Discipline is not in What Gentle Discipline is Not, Continued Again 🙂. This post looks at “Gentle discipline is not something that occurs only when unacceptable behavior manifests itself” aka “Gentle Discipline is not sporadic.”

Here is the rest of her series, for your convenience:
What Gentle Discipline Is Not
What Gentle Discipline is Not, Continued. “Gentle Discipline is not adversarial”

What Gentle Discipline is Not, Continued

Carissa Robinson continues her explanation of what Gentle Discipline is not in What Gentle Discipline is Not, Continued. This post looks at “Gentle Discipline is not adversarial!”

Entrapment

Do you ever entrap your children?  Read this blog entry from Dare to Disciple to learn more about entrapment.  Failure to heed this warning may lead to developing an adversarial relationship with your children.


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