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Does It Really Mean What You Think It Means?

December 10, 2011 By Hermana Linda 2 Comments

Teresa from Teresa’s Whine And Cheese takes a good look at claims that Kids Today Are Worse Then they Used To Be in Correlation, causation, and the proof in the pudding.

Pastor Tim of Way Point Church discusses discerning the Biblical view in Biblical Christianity in which he states “[The Pearls'] claim to have a biblical view on parenting is delusional.”

Samuel Martin looks how Christian Scholars and Preachers Disagree on Spanking Children and explains what the commonly used verses in Proverbs are really saying.

And here is a bonus link.  While completely off topic for this blog, I found this video interesting.  Someone took an informal poll at a college campus asking the question,  “Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?“  The answers might surprise you.

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The Effects Of Spanking Part 5 *Sensitive*

November 29, 2011 By Steph 9 Comments

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

In the previous piece we discovered that fear is the main effect of corporal punishment that all children experience despite the Bible clearly stating that fear is not from God. We also saw in the previous piece that “loving, godly” spankings are indeed harmful to children despite what many pro-spankers continue to claim. The research and numerous anecdotes (personal stories) show that hitting “in love,” and in the Name of God often has damaging effects on children even if they deny and repress these effects. In this piece we will be discussing an effect of “lovingly” spanking that has only recently come to my attention. Many people are unaware of the fact that “love” spankings causes sexual problems for children and adults as they seek to turn something painful and out of their control into something pleasant and somewhat controllable. This brief discussion may cause discomfort. We will also discuss how physical punishment often leads to depression, shame, and guilt as spanking never makes one feel good about oneself.

“Love” Spankings Continued—“Children are not sexual beings.”

Many people, in general, believe the above statement to be true. While children do not understand sexuality in the way that adults do, they have the ability at birth to become somewhat aroused and to feel pleasure. This is why young children very innocently explore their bodies during diaper changes and baths. This is a very normal and healthy part of the young child’s development. By the age of two, most young children are beginning to notice the differences between males and females and will ask questions out of pure curiosity. Simple, honest answers are all that young children want and need. While a child’s budding sexuality should be respected, their innocence and purity must be protected. [Read more...]

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Disciplining the Adopted Child

November 21, 2011 By Hermana Linda 3 Comments

Kelly of Toll For Thee shares how he Disciplines her Adopted Child without spanking.  (This site has been removed.)

While we’re discussing Gentle Discipline, Dulce de Leche has some more tools for your Gentle Discipline Toolbox:
Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Physical Needs
Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Play

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Christians Who Do Not Spank

November 11, 2011 By Hermana Linda 4 Comments

Many parents have convictions against spanking.  Many parents have convictions to obey the Bible, no matter what the cost.  Some parents have both convictions.  It was for those parents that I started this site back in 2004.  We feel strongly about both convictions and have studied the arguments carefully and prayerfully.  I am one of those parents and The Leen is another one, as she demonstrates in this post which is a sequel to her post about attending Mark Driscoll’s church, Mars Hill.

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When Does Spanking Become Abuse?

November 4, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Spanking is very much in the news today, as is the question of when spanking becomes abuse.

Bene Diction Blogs On considers that question as he discusses the Viral Video of Hillary Adams and Its Unexpected Fallout.
After you read that post, check out the next one where he reminds us of the book, Parenting in the Name of God: No Greater Joy Ministries and the Bible

Blogger Morgan Guyton considers the same question in Spankings and Judge William Adams

And along the same lines, Jen of The Path Less Taken explains The Black and White of Spanking.

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A Closer Look at The Biblical Rod

October 15, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Dara Stoltzfus has a Post on The Mule where she describes why she gave up spanking.

Here are some very interesting posts from her blog, I Was Just Thinking:

Drawing the line between “spanking” and “abuse”

The Strength of Your Child’s Will!

“The Rod” as an instrument of protection

Easy Self-Test about “the use of the Biblical rod”

Na’ar in Proverbs…what kind of child are parents to strike?

Is your child a PERSON?

Growing Humans God’s Way

On the other hand, just read all her posts about spanking.  :-)

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Professors and Scholars Speak Out Against Pearl

October 14, 2011 By Hermana Linda 3 Comments

Megan Graham  of  The Daily Illini (Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Illinois) looks at To Train Up A Child and its influence as well as the issue of Free Speech in Parenting book missing childlike innocence.

Prof. William Webb (Author of the new book Corporal Punishment In The Bible) explains that The Pearls’ Teaching is “Gutter Theology.”

You might also be interested in these reviews of the above mentioned book.

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The Pearls’ Teachings are Not Biblical

October 7, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Bible Scholar, Samuel Martin explains why he believes that Amazon should stop selling To Train Up A Child.  Please sign the petition, the link is in my sidebar.

And here are 2 posts about why the Pearls’ teachings are not Biblical:

Laura Ziesel shares an in depth study of Proverbs 22:6 in Train up a Child in Whose Way?

Samuel Martin shares a statement from Prof. William Webb responding to Hana’s death called, The Pearl’s Beatings Are Not Really Biblical which I am posting in its entirety below at his request.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

The Newsletter of the
“New Foundation for Biblical Research.”
A project of the Century One Foundation, Inc. (www.centuryone.org)
© Samuel Martin
Samuel Martin – Project Director – www.biblechild.com

October 2011

Religious scholars speaking out against the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl
Many of you may have by now heard about Hana-Grace Rose Williams, who died in May at the tender age of 13. See the details of her story here and how Michael and Debi Pearl’s book “To Train Up A Child” is yet again being implicated in this horrifying case. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016361753_hana30m.html
When I saw this, I postponed what I had planned to publish this month and I immediately started writing to a number of religious scholars that I know asking them to speak out on this outrageous, unacceptable and evil publication. Thankfully, my call has immediately been answered by Prof, William Webb of Tyndale Seminary, Toronto, Canada. I know that I will be hearing from other religious scholars very soon and I will be sharing more testimonies and comments from them as I receive them. We need to hear these voices now.
Many of you know that I have strongly endorsed Prof. Webb’s book in this newsletter (July 2011 Newsletter). Today, I am herein once again not only endorsing this book, but I am asking you to support this book to ensure that it obtains the widest possible reading, attention and exposure. Rather than telling you what Prof. Webb told me, I am herein including a written communication from him that I received just this morning. The following is a direct quote from Prof. Webb and is used with his permission.
THE PEARL’S BEATINGS ARE NOT REALLY BIBLICAL
“Although they will tell you it is from the Bible, the Pearl’s version of child discipline is not really biblical.  Not in the truest sense.  Not in the deepest sense of what should shape biblical authority.  Not in a way that honors the Bible’s underlying redemptive spirit.  It is utterly heart breaking to watch “Christian materials” written by Michael and Debi Pearl become part of the murder investigations in three separate cases where so-called Christian parents allegedly abused their children in life-threatening and life-ending ways.  I am stunned and appalled by what I have seen on CNN, King5 News, etc.
Unfortunately, Christians often get stuck in their ability to apply the Bible in today’s world.  It is my hope that my recent book (Corporal Punishment in the Bible: A Redemptive-Movement Hermeneutic for Troubling Texts) will inspire hope and positive dialogue that helps the Christian community move towards something better for our children.  The book outlines how Marilyn (my wife) and I changed our minds about spanking.  Like the Pearls we were severely deluded in thinking that the rod was God’s way.  But over time we learned how to read and understand the Bible differently.  We also learned a truck-load of non-corporal methods of discipline which were far more weighty and effective than the Dobson version (2 smacks max) and certainly better than the abusive Pearl prescription (many beatings with the rod).  Like the slavery texts of Scripture, the answer is not simply in moving towards a better form of slavery.  That only captures part of Scripture’s redemptive spirit.  The Dobson approach is to be commended because they move away from the Pearl-type literalism.  But, that is not where biblical application should stop.  Like the slavery issue of past days, we need to move beyond a gentler, kinder form of slavery/corporal punishment.  Two smacks max is good but it does not reflect an ultimate ethical application of the Bible.  As with slavery, only abolitionism (of the rod) will permit Christians to fully embrace effective non-corporal methods and do the courageous, William Wilberforce action in this hour of time.  I pray that contemporary followers of Jesus might be known as those who want to live out the very highest ethical application of Scripture.  What the Pearls offer is nothing other than “gutter theology”; it is not really the Bible at all . . . well, not if we want to live out Scripture’s redemptive heartbeat.” Dr. William J. Webb is Adjunct Professor of New Testament at Tyndale Seminary, Toronto, Canada. (Quotation from Prof. Webb ends here.)
Brethren, now is the time for all of us to take action to work to stop what is happening today to children at the hands of dear misguided parents/others who think they are doing God’s will.
First, I am asking you to take this newsletter and the exact comments of Prof. Webb and post them to your blogs, pass them to your networks, put them on your FACEBOOK pages and disseminate his above referenced quotation as far and as wide as you can. For more links, reviews and other information about Professor Webb and his book see: http://redemptivechristianity.com &   http://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/review/code=2761. Please include these in your posts.
Second, I am asking you to please buy his book. Get your copy here – https://shop.ivpress.com/epages/IVP.storefront/en/addtobasket/0-8308-2761-7
Third, I am asking you to write positive reviews of this book in any forum that you come across including but not limited to Amazon, news sites and other book related sites and blogs.
Fourth, I am also you to join me in applauding and supporting InterVarsity Press (www.ivpress.com) for publishing such courageous and careful scholarship. They need to know that we are watching and supporting Christian publishers who stand up for what is right. Please join me in doing this by writing/emailing them or leaving comments on their site.
I would like to thank Prof. Webb for standing up and letting his voice be heard through this newsletter at this difficult time. His message is an important one. His work is really an inspiration for those of us who are looking for truth. I am reminded of a quotation from a giant of Biblical scholarship who was a friend of my late father and I think it is appropriate to reference it here. “…we must bear in mind that the cause of learning has often been promoted by scholars who are prepared to take a risk and expose their brain-waves to the pitiless criticisms of others” (F.F.Bruce, “Modern Studies on the Judean Scrolls,” CT, I (11):5).
Prof. Webb, thank you for your courage, risk taking, intellectual honesty and standing up and speaking out for the truths of the Holy Scripture. I look forward to supporting you and your work for many years to come.

Posted by Samuel Martin at 1:31 PM

 

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Christianity Today Reviews Corporal Punishment In The Bible

September 24, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Christianity Today Reviews Corporal Punishment In The Bible by New Testament scholar William Webb. This book is of interest because while the author concludes that the Bible teaches harsh corporeal punishment, he also concludes that we are no longer to apply such harsh teachings.

Also, Aubry Grace reviews the same book on her blog, My Offerings. She writes about how this book has freed her to give up spanking and she is now looking for alternatives. It gives me great pleasure to direct her to my posts on Gentle Parenting.

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The Effects Of Spanking – Part 2 *Sensitive*

August 15, 2011 By Steph 12 Comments

(Part 1)

By now, people have read my very personal story.  I can’t begin to put into words how difficult that was for my family and me.  As I said in Part 1, the purpose of this series is to explore all of the effects of using physical punishment with children.  In this piece, I will be discussing denial as one of the many effects of spanking (hitting) children.  I will also share a couple of definitions of physical abuse, and will discuss the continuum of violence against children.

Denial—“I was spanked and I turned out OK”

One of the many, and most visible if one looks closely enough, effects of spanking and physical abuse is denial.  Denial is a psychological defense mechanism to any traumatizing or painful event.  This is why denial is one of the first steps in the grieving process.  It is easier to deny that something very painful has occurred than to deal with the pain head on.  How many times have we heard, “I was spanked and I’m okay,” from pro-spankers?  Go on the Internet and Google “spanking children,” and we get an array of pro-spankers arguing intensely with anti-spankers about how spanking isn’t harmful.  They base their arguments on their personal experiences.  They are often quick to become defensive, and even get downright angry, when anti-spankers try to gently point out how and why they are wrong.  This is due to the fact that it is very difficult to admit that their parents did hurt them as children, or that they are now hurting their own children.  [Read more...]

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The Effects of Spanking Part 1 *Sensitive*

August 15, 2011 By Steph 4 Comments

What are the effects of spanking?  Is it true that as long as one does it the “right, loving, godly” way that there are no harmful effects to the child?  Are the research studies claiming that spanking is harmful biased and inaccurate?  What about the studies claiming that not all spankings are harmful?  These are just a few of the questions I will explore throughout this series.  We have already explored why Scripture or God does not support using physical punishment with our children despite what many Christian pro-spankers say.  We have read many stories of parents trying to do the right thing for their children, but harmed or killed them in the process all because satan had tricked them into believing that using physical punishment was what God wanted.  In this series, we will hear from many who were spanked as children and how it affected them and their relationships with God.  If God hasn’t spoken to hearts in my previous series, I pray He will with this series.  Please, allow God to speak to you as you read this series.  He will not condemn you.

My Story

I have touched on my story here and there throughout my series, but I haven’t actually told my story until now.  What I am about to write is quite difficult for me.  Parts of it my own husband didn’t even know.  But I am trusting God to use my pain for His Glory.  I grew up in a non-active Christian home.  We had Jesus figurines and the Ten Commandments on the wall, but we didn’t go to church.  I had Bibles and Bible storybooks, but God was not emphasized.  I was born with severe Cerebral Palsy.  When I was born, I did not breathe for roughly 40 minutes.  The doctors were about to give up on me but my dad about punched one of them and told them not to give up on me.  I’m grateful God did not let my dad allow the doctors to give up on me.  God had/has a plan for me. [Read more...]

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Another Anonymous Spanking Story

July 30, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Dulce de Leche has posted Another Anonymous Post on Spanking in which the anonymous poster shares about how the spankings her younger brother received affected her.

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What Do Children Think About Being Spanked?

July 19, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

What message do children really take away from corporeal punishment?  Carissa Robinson has asked some mothers what they remembered about being spanked and posts their thoughts and stories in What Do They Really Think?

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The Christian History of Spanking Part 6

July 18, 2011 By Steph 2 Comments

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

This will be the conclusion of this series in which we have explored and discovered some of the origins of spanking children within Christianity.  It was my goal to show that spanking is from man and not God, as so many well-meaning Christians have believed throughout the ages.  In this paper, I will show how the idea of controlling children dates back to the early church in the ancient world, look at how Catholicism has advocated and used physical punishment with children, show the likely origin of the “Christian rules of how to spank children,” and will conclude with explaining Behaviorism and how physical punishment falls under that very old and outdated branch of Psychology.

The Origins of the Christian Need to Control Children

Many Christian advocates of spanking as well as the parents who follow these advocates are often quite concerned with controlling their children’s behavior, and really, one could say controlling their children.  Advocates such as James Dobson, the Ezzos, the Pearls, and others teach parents that they must be in control of their children from birth.  They claim that newborn infants must be taught that their parents are the bosses, not them.  If this sounds familiar, it is because control and breaking children’s wills go hand and hand.  We’ve seen how breaking the child’s will has been advocated for and done by Christians throughout history despite there being no biblical grounds for doing such a thing (See Parts 1, 2, & 3 for more info on breaking children’s wills).  This need for adults to control their children dates back to New Testament times.  In fact, certain verses of the New Testament are used to try and justify controlling one’s children. [Read more...]

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Looking Back on Being Spanked

July 13, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Samuel Martin’s newest post reaches out to the Spanked and seeks ideas on how to help them convey their viewpoints to their parents.

Meanwhile, Libby Anne has shared 2 posts sharing her testimony of how her parents’ adherence to the Pearls’ teachings affected her:

Giving the Child the Rod, in which she shares about how she ruined her relationship with her siblings by wielding the rod on them and,

Casting the Pearls back to the Swine, in which she shares about how she decided not to follow those teachings with her own daughter.

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The Effect of Spanking on Children

July 9, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Carissa Robinson shares a true story of how spanking affected one child growing up in Lock ‘Em Up, Throw Away the Key.

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Bruises

July 5, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

When is it abuse?  Do bruises or the lack thereof have anything to do with it? If so, does it matter where the bruises are? Carissa Robinson considers this in a post called, Hodge Podge.

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The Right Way to Spank?

June 23, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Dulce de Leche questions the common idea that spanking is not harmful when done without anger in Spanking In Anger — What Does It Matter?

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Another Letter To A Pastor About Spanking

June 22, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Dulce de Leche shares a letter someone wrote to her pastor about her experiences with spanking and why she does not believe it should be preached from the pulpit.  She shares her testimony of what it was like to be spanked and how it effected her.  She also looks at the blurred distinction between spanking and abuse.  This letter may be triggering so it is not for the faint of heart.

On a similar note is this post on The Journey about The Sexual Effects of Spanking.

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The Christian History of Spanking Part 5

June 10, 2011 By Steph 2 Comments

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3) (Part 4)

This should, and will in my book, preface Part 7 of “Spanking is NOT God’s Will” where I discuss how children were treated during New Testament times, and how Christ radically changed how people are to view them.  Back in New Testament times, children were, in general, loved but viewed as animals that needed to be trained (Strange, 2004).   In this piece, I would like to explore more of the cultural context in which the Gospel was written as Jesus’ childhood was left out of the Gospels except for His birth in Matthew and Luke as well as a single brief story of Jesus at age 12 in Luke 2:41-52.  While it is obvious that God felt that we do not need to know much about Christ’s childhood in order to truly know Who He is, I am merely interested in portraying what people thought of childhood as another reason why the Gospel writers left out much of Jesus’ childhood.  Please note that I am in no way putting the Gospel writers down as they were wholly inspired by God to include what they did in the Gospels.

People in the first century definitely had an interest in children, but when it came to childhood, it was not looked upon by the people as an important, valuable time of growth and development within one’s lifespan.  Unlike today, childhood was not seen as an important part of who a person would eventually become.  “But while people in the ancient world were interested in children, they were not so interested in childhood… Modern people have been taught to see childhood as a time of formation and growth, a time when a person passes through certain crucial stages of development.  The ancient world was simply not so reflective about childhood and did not see human personality in the same developmental way” (Strange, 2004, p. 40).  People in the ancient world did understand that there were certain skills that children needed to be taught in order to be productive adults.   But they did not understand the different developmental stages children went through that would allow them to learn these skills.  Needless to say, education of children could often be brutal and very unimaginative during the first century due to this lack of knowledge and interest in childhood (Strange, 2004). [Read more...]

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Na’ar in Proverbs…what kind of child are parents to strike?

June 4, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

“I Was Just Thinking…” blog looks at Na’ar in Proverbs…what kind of child are parents to strike?

Here are more of her thoughts about spanking.

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The Christian History of Spanking Part 4

May 14, 2011 By Steph Leave a Comment

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3)

In this paper of this series in which I am exploring the Christian history of spanking, I would like to begin by discussing some of John Calvin’s beliefs in regards to children as many of the people that we have discussed in this series have been highly influenced by Calvin’s beliefs.  After I discuss John Calvin, we will look at Jonathan Edwards as he still influences some Christian advocates of spanking children.  It is my hope that people are discovering for themselves that spanking is from man, not from God as we go through this historic journey together.

John Calvin

John Calvin (1509-1564) was one of the primary figures in the Protestant Reformation.  He became a born again Christian in 1533.  He then became a Protestant pastor in Geneva, Switzerland, and created the Geneva Academy after returning from exile in 1542.  “Calvin’s major institutional contribution to education was his Geneva Academy, which he established upon his return from exile.  The academy was divided into two schools.  The private school taught children until about age sixteen, and the public school served as the university” (Reed & Provost, 1993, p. 197).  Calvin believed in the strict religious education of children, and the Geneva church controlled the academy.  The teachers employed by the church were well versed in Calvin’s strict disciplinarian approach that often included physical punishment.  The following poem shows exactly how John Calvin felt regarding the use of physical punishment with children:

Who spares the rod with spirit mild,
He surely hates and harms his child.
Stripes and fear are right;
But who disowns their might,
And trains his son in tender way,
Unfits him for life’s earnest fray” (Reed & Provost, 1993, p. 198).

It is clear from this poem that Calvin had no understanding of lovingly admonishing children as well as adults as Colossians 3:16 tells us to do.  Nor did he seem to understand Christ’s teaching of forgiveness (Luke 3:3; Luke 24:47).   And I must wonder if he knew that gentleness and patience are some of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Before I get too deeply into Calvin’s beliefs about children, I would like to take a look into how society in general viewed children and childhood during the 16th century.  [Read more...]

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A Stand For Truth

May 12, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Pearl in Oyster has a post examining what the Bible says about how to respond to false teachers in A Stand For Truth.

If false teachers are to be treated kindly and patiently and instructed gently, how much more should I be kind, patient and gentle with my child?  If it’s God’s job to change the hearts of false teachers, then it stands to reason that it is God’s job to change my child’s heart.

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National Spank Out Day

April 30, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

In honor of National Spank Out Day, Dulce de Leche asks what kind of Fruit does spanking produce in our lives.  Her answer is Rotten Fruit.

Also, check out Jen from A Path Less Taken’s post about Not Crying Over Spilled Milk .  You will also want to check out her follow up post, Gentle Discipline, So What Do You Do?

 

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Born Sinners

April 25, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Rachel Stone discusses whether babies are Little Sinners and how that teaching relates to spanking.

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Damaging Effects of Punishment on Children

April 14, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

GreeneGem explains the damage  which was done to her by her mothers trampling on her Boundaries.

Speaking of damage, did you know that when babies are left to cry it out, their little bodies are being flooded with Cortisol?   Discipleship Parenting looks at what  effect that has on them.

Meanwhile Pearl, from An Apprenticeship in the Art of Gentle Discipline, looks at the Spiritual Discipline of Parenting to Sleep.

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Spanking Infants???

April 12, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Elizabeth Esther posted about the 20/20 exposé of abuse in some IBF churches and interprets Pastor Brian Fuller’s remarks.  She explains the teaching of first time obedience  and how common the spanking of infants really in these churches. By the way, some of the comments of this blog post seem to have inside information in them.

Also, I want to make it clear that  not all Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches have abusive teachings.  I am a member of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church which does not.  The pastor often reminds us that salvation is by faith in Jesus and what He did alone and you cannot add anything to that.  He reminds us that saying a prayer or baptism or anything else will not save you, you are saved by believing that what Jesus said and did is true.  They do believe in corporal punishment but I have never heard of anyone there spanking an infant or using an implement.  While they might say that they believe in wifely submission, what I see looks more like mutual submission.   I see no signs of the patriarchal movement, most of the women in that church wear pants.  They also cut and dye their hair and nobody says a word about it.  Women work outside the home and girls are expected to go to college.  On top of that, many in  the congregation uses public schools.  So, I don’t know how extensive the abuse in IFB churches is but I believe that churches need to be considered on a church by church basis.  After all, they are independent.

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The Christian History of Spanking Part 3

April 12, 2011 By Steph Leave a Comment

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 )

Jonathan Wesley (1703-1791) is known as the founder of Methodism, and for the effects he had (and still has) on the education of children and adults.  In Part 2, I looked at the child-rearing practices of his mother, Susanna Wesley, whom many Christian advocates of spanking hold up as a model for Christian mothers.  Susanna gave John special attention as he almost died in one of the house fires.  John deeply loved his mother, and it has been said that he didn’t think he could ever find a woman like his mother to marry.  Now, before we say that his mother’s child-rearing practices couldn’t have been that bad if he loved her that much, it is well documented that abused children that have been taken away from their abusive parents will cry and ask, “If I’m really good tomorrow, can I go home to my mommy and daddy?”  As I point out in Part 5 of my series called, “Spanking is NOT God’s Will,” children have a very forgiving nature and love their parents no matter what.  That’s how I was with my dad despite his physical abuse.  He said he was sorry many times throughout my childhood, and I always forgave him.  Now some pro-spankers may argue that there’s a line between abuse and spanking.  My dad never left marks on my body, but it was indeed abuse as he’d hit and be rough with me for things out of my control.  My mom only spanked me once, and though she never apologized, I forgave her within the week.  Though both my parents were wrong for hitting me, I’ve long forgiven both of them and have a great relationship with my mom.  So, for all those who claim spankings didn’t hurt them, I must ask that they truly think about how they felt right before, during, and afterwards because when children are hurt by the closest people in their lives, it does harm and hurt, otherwise there wouldn’t be so much denial and controversy over using physical punishment with our children!  And if spanking (hitting) children was ordained by God, then there would be NO questions or controversy among Christians and the secular world regarding the amount of harm spanking a child does as Scripture clearly states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. [Read more...]

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Biblical Perspectives on Spanking

April 7, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Ordained Minister( and Parenting and Relationship expert)  Thomas Haller has written an article with Chick Moorman called, Biblical Perspectives on Spanking in which they take a closer look at the typical verses which are considered to command parents to spank.

Samuel Martin’s book, Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort Me, also studies those verses, as well as Jewish attitudes towards children in Biblical times.  Brenda King of Positively Feminine has a book review of his book and is also offering a chance to win a free copy of it.

In other news, I have updated yesterday’s post with part III of the series.

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The Christian History of Spanking Part 2

March 26, 2011 By Steph 12 Comments

(Part 1)

Susanna Wesley (1669-1742) is held up as the “Mother of Methodism.”  She married Samuel Wesley who was a pastor.  The Wesley’s had a total of 19 children, but only 10 of the children survived past infancy.  Susanna, as most Puritans, valued education.  However, she even taught her daughters as well as her sons how to read and write which was not common during the 18th century (Heitzenrater, 2001).  She also allowed each child to do what he/she could for their selves starting from birth.  Susanna was a very devoted mother.

Before we get too deeply into Susanna’s child rearing beliefs and practices, we must take a brief look at how children were viewed by most during the 18th century.  During this time period, children were seen as miniature adults.  They were dressed like adults and were expected to behave like adults at very young ages.  The quicker they behaved like adults, the better.  Otherwise, children were not to be seen or heard.  They were kept out of the room where adults were.  Throughout the 18th century, this view of children slowly evolved as a sort of discovery of childhood occurred.  This change was not necessarily a positive one for children.  Instead of the high expectation for children to be adult-like as soon as possible (which, of course, was negative in and of itself since we now know how important childhood truly is), children were seen as inferior to adults.  [Read more...]

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