A Voice For The Victims

Victimhood is a very personal thing. Many survivors of abuse are finding their voices and are making a valient effort to speak for these victims.

Some are saying that it increases the pain of the victims and that we should stop.

Others are saying that we must speak out in order to give a voice to the victims.
Josh Duggar and Words as Magic by Rebecca Diamond
What Does The Josh Duggar Dialogue Say To Assault Victims? by Stephanie Tait
It’s Not Just The Duggars by Dana of Lemon Lime Adventures
Nice girls don’t talk about stuff like this by Rebecca Diamond *Trigger Warning*

I don’t want to add to the girls’ pain but nor do I want this swept under the rug. Since there are 5 victims, some might feel one way and some might feel the other.  Also, since the information is already out, that cannot be fixed.  The only thing left to do it to work towards healing.

My main goal in posting is to expose the paradigm behind all of this in hopes of preventing situations like this in the future.  My hope is that those who are considering getting into Gothard/ATI/Patriocentric  teachings will see the danger and run away.  I also hope that those who are friendly with such families will be much  more observant.

Here is an in depth explanation of How Fundamentalism’s Teachings on Sexuality Create Predatory Behavior from Diary of an Autodidact.

Jason Harris looks at 10 things every person should be able to affirm in the face of the Duggar family tragedy.

Barefoot Betsy responds to my first link.

Reactions to the Duggar Scandal

My last post was about the tragic news story of Josh Duggar and his abuse of young girls. How should the Church react to something like this? Here are some thoughts on that as well as reactions and analysis.

Barefoot Betsy shares her reactions and opinions. A short quote to whet your appetite:

I believe that the Christian community needs to soundly condemn the adult Duggars’ response as well as the molestations themselves. This kind of chicanery should not be tolerated in the name of Christ. Yes, forgive, but don’t forget. There is no excuse for the adults sweeping this kind of incident under the rug. For years and years.

Russell Moore, president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, explains what the church’s response to abuse should be.  I encourage you to read the whole article.  Here is a small quote:

We should also make clear to the whole congregation the steps we are taking to make sure that children and the vulnerable are safe in our churches from sexual abuse. Tell the congregation why you have background checks, why safeguards for parent pick-up in nursery or Sunday school are in place, and so forth. Moreover, tell the congregation what the leaders will do when there is an allegation of sexual abuse. Make it clear that sexual abusers will not be enabled in your church, and victims will not be blamed or shamed.

Also, Elizabeth Esther has a picture of an ATI counseling worksheet on her Facebook page. She says,

As many of you may know, the Duggars used teachings by Bill Gothard and ATI. Someone just sent me this ATI worksheet that was used for “counseling” victims of sexual abuse. Note the question “Why did God let it happen?” and the subsequent answers which blame the victim for “defrauding” the perpetrator (defrauding is fundy-speak for seducing/tempting a man) through “immodest dress, indecent exposure, being out of the protection of our parents and being with evil friends.” So, it’s the VICTIM’S fault for being sexually abused. Obviously this kind of “counseling” is egregiously WRONG (not to mention unprofessional) and, in fact, causes MORE damage by re-traumatizing the victim. Since the Duggar family used and promoted ATI materials, it’s conceivable that worksheets like these were used in the counseling (although, of course, I don’t know that for sure). Regardless, this kind of “counseling” material serves as an important insight into the kind of environment in which the abuse happened.

There is much more information about ATI style counseling in this article by Libby Anne.

Putting Spouses Before Children

Dare to Disciple has a mini blog carnival on the topic of putting spouses’ needs before that of children in:
Myth Busting 5: Put the marriage first by Claire
and Husband vs. Children? by Barefoot Betsy

Appearances

BarefootBetsy writes about how worrying about what others think affects our parenting on Dare to Disciple.

What John Piper Says About Spanking

Rachel had an in depth look at what John Piper says about Spanking but she has since closed her blog to the public.  Please check out my John Piper tag.

Also, check out what Barefoot Betsy says here.

Spanking and Proverbs – Part 3: Believer’s Behavior

Barefoot Betsy looks at “what the rest of the Bibles says about spanking in the light of what the Bible – in particular, the New Testament – says about how we, as Christians, are to behave” in Spanking and Proverbs- Part 3: Believer’s Behavior.

Spanking and Proverbs – Part 2: Interpretations

Barefoot Betsy continues her look at Proverbs with, Spanking and Proverbs Part 2: Interpretations.  This is long but very well worth reading as she has done a very good job of helping us understand what the proverbs about the rod are really saying.

Spanking and Proverbs – Part 1: Context

BarefootBetsy is starting a series about what the Bible teaches about Spanking with Spanking and Proverbs – Part 1: Context

She explains the purpose for her series, saying:

Indeed, this very post is being written right now because of one of the comments I received! I encourage you to read the second comment and my response if you have not already. Debbie disagreed with my statement, “Nowhere in the Bible is anyone commanded to spank their children.” and I think it is very important to clarify why I believe my statement to be true regardless of how someone interprets the Proverbs “rod” verses. Whether you agree or disagree with me at the end, I hope this post helps you understand where at least one Christian who doesn’t spank (me!) is coming from.

Also, don’t miss part 2 which will be featured in its own post soon.

Regarding Punishments

Barefoot Betsy shares a letter explaining why she does not believe in spanking in Regarding Punishments over at Dare To Disciple.

Also, I have not yet mentioned Greenegem’s post about Shame, The Legacy Of Punishment on the same blog.