Christian arguments against the Pearls' teachings.
Michael Pearl’s teachings are being discussed in the blogosphere again.
Rick Morton responds to Jonathan Merritt’s Analysis of Michael & Debi Pearl’s “Child Training” & The “Adoption Fever” Dialogue in this post.
Morgan Guyton discusses Why He Would Fail Michael And Debi Pearl’s Parenting Class.
Sara Mae shares how spanking was affecting her 2 1/2 year old’s self esteem and why she and her husband decided to stop in How Gentleness Makes Our Children Great.
Dara Stoltzfus also has noticed the importance of a child’s self-worth and explains how we can encourage their inner beauty in Princes and Princesses on the Inside.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
As I draw this series to a close, I want to take a look at using all of these positive discipline strategies that I have discussed throughout this series with “strong-willed children.” All of the strategies from mindful modeling, setting up the environment, setting limits, and using natural and logical consequences, etc. all work with all children. Some children may require a bit of creativity, but since all of these strategies are biblically based, they will work even with a “strong-willed” child. In this brief conclusion to this series, I want to focus on using positive, grace filled, firm discipline with “strong-willed” children.
“Strong-Willed” Children—“Positive discipline doesn’t work for my children!”
As we know from Part 1 of “The Christian History of Spanking,” breaking children’s wills has been a theme throughout history of Christian pro-spankers even though there is no biblical support for parents to break their children’s wills. Yet, even today, most Christian pro-spankers advocate the need to break children’s wills. And having a “strong-willed” child is seen as a negative as that child’s parents must work even harder to break his or her will. What these Christian pro-spankers fail to understand is that using physical punishment with “strong-willed” children actually makes these children even more angry and defiant. Sadly, as we’ve seen throughout all my series, some of these children have died because the multiple spankings broke their bodies before their wills.
I believe that there is no difference between our wills and our spirits. They are one and the same just as the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and God are one and the same. God creates us with a will. If God creates wills, then why would He want us to break the wills of children when they are discovering who they are and Who God is? [Read more...]
Latebloomer was raised in Reb Bradley’s church, Hope Chapel, and is one of the Sheltered, Controlled Homeschoolers who “didn’t ‘turn out right,’ yet another disappointment to the former parents and leadership of Hope Chapel.” She shares some important insights about this in “Biblical” Parenting, Introduction. (By the way, I was surprised to see Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz mentioned in this post.)
This post is the introduction to series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley’s book “Child Training Tips”. In this series of posts she looks at how this kind of parenting is “damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of authority and submission.”
Each Post in her series focuses on one criticism.
Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst in which we see the concept of adversarial relationships taken to new levels.
Criticism #2: Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child’s mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood in which we learn how his teaching grooms perfect victims for child predators by breaking the child’s will, removing their sense of bodily ownership and teaching them that they must respect and obey anyone older than themselves.
Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts through Spanking in which we learn about his teachings on spanking which take abuse to new levels as well as his “severe misunderstanding of the Bible and serious scholarly negligence.”
Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates In Order to Control in which we learn that he teaches parents to isolate their children from the world and the results of such isolation.
Sarah, of Under the Olive Branch, explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small. She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.
Throughout this series we are discussing ways of disciplining children that are more in line with what God had in mind. All of the discipline strategies in this series are very effective when used consistently and in conjunction with each other. They are all biblically supported and sound. And none of these methods, when used properly and respectfully, will ever cause any harm to children. In this piece, we will look at how to set appropriate limits and boundaries for our children by which they can abide. We will see that allowing children simple choices and giving appropriate alternatives for inappropriate behaviors also help children comply with our limits and boundaries. Next, we will see why using encouragement with our children is better than using rewards and praise. Finally, we will discuss using natural and logical consequences with children. Consequences are not the same as punishment. And discipline should not be equated with punishment.
Setting Limits and Boundaries—“Three Basic Rules for Life.”
We all need limits and boundaries in our lives for without them life would be very chaotic. This is especially true for children as this world is too overwhelming for them to handle on their own. Children feel most secure when they know what the limits and boundaries are. In fact, young children will test limits and boundaries to make sure that the adults in their lives will enforce them. “Children need secure, loving boundaries in order to feel safe, just as adults need a house with strong walls and a roof to feel protected from the weather. [Read more...]
Dulce de Leche continues her 10 Commandments for Parents series with Thou Shalt Not Kill. In this post she discusses how parents often kill pieces of their children’s individuality.
Also, take note of this post by Sara Mae which looks at The Nature of A Child and why we should respond to their tantrums with grace.
Molly reflects on how children view spanking, drawing on her own memories of Fighting Spanking.
In this series we will be looking at how to biblically discipline our children without inflicting pain on them or harming them in any way. Some of the discipline strategies that we will be discussing throughout this series are modeling, child-proofing, validating feelings, fulfilling the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting realistic limits and boundaries, helping children comply, giving choices, and using natural and logical consequences with children. The Bible says that we are to encourage each other (2 Corinthians 13:11). All of the discipline strategies in this series do exactly that with our children. In this first piece, we will be discussing authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting. We will also discuss how to child-proof, modeling, and introducing God to our children.
Authoritative versus Permissive Parenting—Not Spanking does NOT Mean Wild, Rebellious Children
Pro-spankers often accuse or claim that parents who do not spank or use any type of punishment with their children of having wild and rebellious children. This simply is not the case for parents that use the authoritative parenting style. There seems to be much confusion over the three types of parenting styles. We discussed the authoritarian parenting style in great detail in Part 6 of my series, “The Effects of Spanking.” As we begin to focus on how to gently but firmly discipline children, we need to examine the other two parenting styles: authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. [Read more...]
Churchmouse has posted an extensively researched look at Spiritual and Physical Abuse in Christian child abuse: more works-based carnality. This is a long piece and well worth the time it will take to read it.
Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas has uploaded a video from FOX News in which “SMU Psychology Professor George Holden, who specializes in child-parent relationships and positive child rearing, talks critically about Michael and Debi Pearl’s book “To Train Up A Child,” which advocates spanking.” More information about Professor Holden here.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
In the last part of this series we saw how teaching children to equate love with pain can cause them to become sadomasochistic. We also saw how spanking children, even when done “lovingly” and the “right way,” causes many children to struggle with depression, guilt, and shame as having pain intentionally inflicted on them by their parents never makes them feel positive about themselves. In this concluding piece of this series, we will see how spanking keeps the vicious cycle of abuse and authoritarian parenting going for generations unless one fights against it. New research shows that children that are physically punished/abused can develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome as they deny and repress their pain. Also, I will be showing that intentionally inflicting pain on children causes brain damage as the brain gets rewired due to experiencing pain and trauma throughout childhood. Many parents do not realize how vulnerable the young, developing brain is. Finally, I will be explaining the Scientific Method of conducting research in order to disprove the claim of a great deal of pro-spankers that all the research proving spanking is harmful is somehow biased. I hope this series further proves that spanking did not come from God otherwise none of these harmful effects would ever occur.
The Cycle of Abuse and Authoritarian Parenting—“My parents spanked me and I survived and so will my children!”
[Read more...]
Former Pearl follower Becky, from Created To Be His, shares a letter she wrote explaining her concerns with the Pearls and their teachings. In this letter she also explains what these teachings have to do with the death of Lydia Schatz and includes quotes from the book.
Elizabeth Esther explains the mindset which causes a lot of the damage in the Pearl’s teachings in If it feels good, it’s sinful.
Cindy at Under Much Grace reminds us, “Barring some other major news event that bumps the story, Michael Pearl is slated to appear on NBC’s Today Show sometime between 8 and 11 AM tomorrow, December 7th, to discuss the controversial child abuse deaths linked to his book, To Train Up a Child.”
Cindy also discusses the question, Pearl’s Parallels to the Milgram Study.
The Anderson Show has run in all areas of the country and I have yet to find more than clips of it. The entire show is not much more than the clips, but it would be really nice to have it all in one place and in context. If anyone recorded the show, please post it on YouTube and send me the link. I will update this request when I have more info.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
In the previous piece we discovered that fear is the main effect of corporal punishment that all children experience despite the Bible clearly stating that fear is not from God. We also saw in the previous piece that “loving, godly” spankings are indeed harmful to children despite what many pro-spankers continue to claim. The research and numerous anecdotes (personal stories) show that hitting “in love,” and in the Name of God often has damaging effects on children even if they deny and repress these effects. In this piece we will be discussing an effect of “lovingly” spanking that has only recently come to my attention. Many people are unaware of the fact that “love” spankings causes sexual problems for children and adults as they seek to turn something painful and out of their control into something pleasant and somewhat controllable. This brief discussion may cause discomfort. We will also discuss how physical punishment often leads to depression, shame, and guilt as spanking never makes one feel good about oneself.
“Love” Spankings Continued—“Children are not sexual beings.”
Many people, in general, believe the above statement to be true. While children do not understand sexuality in the way that adults do, they have the ability at birth to become somewhat aroused and to feel pleasure. This is why young children very innocently explore their bodies during diaper changes and baths. This is a very normal and healthy part of the young child’s development. By the age of two, most young children are beginning to notice the differences between males and females and will ask questions out of pure curiosity. Simple, honest answers are all that young children want and need. While a child’s budding sexuality should be respected, their innocence and purity must be protected. [Read more...]
An anonymous writer explains how she used to follow Pearls teachings to the letter and exactly how and why they are dangerous in Corpses Don’t Rebel: A former follower of Michael Pearl’s “To Train Up A Child” reacts to the death of Hana Williams.
Deb of The Wartburg Watch posts about exposing Pearl’s teachings as well as the Judge who was recently exposed for his child abuse 7 years ago in “Judge” Not Lest Ye Be Judged.
Note: I do not have much to say about the Hillary Adams case, as abuse is beyond the scope of this blog unless it is being justified as Biblical, (in other words, unless God is dragged into it.) So far I have yet to see that in this case.
Dara Stoltzfus has a Post on The Mule where she describes why she gave up spanking.
Here are some very interesting posts from her blog, I Was Just Thinking:
Drawing the line between “spanking” and “abuse”
The Strength of Your Child’s Will!
“The Rod” as an instrument of protection
Easy Self-Test about “the use of the Biblical rod”
Na’ar in Proverbs…what kind of child are parents to strike?
On the other hand, just read all her posts about spanking. 
Lisa Bennet (Broken Daughters), who was raised by Pearl followers, looks at the concept of Original Sin and how it corresponds to the Pearls’ Teachings. In this post, she links to a very upsetting post by Libby Anne which contains an 1831 quote from Francis Wayland which sounds very much like Michael Pearl.
You might also be interested in this post in which Lisa looks at the concept of Purity.
CNN continues its investigative report of abuse among fundamental Christians and how it relates to the Pearls’ teachings. Jocelyn Zichterman, who was raised in this culture and started Freedomfromabuse.net, explains the concept of Breaking The Will and how spankings must continue until the child submits even if it takes several hours. This video seems to cut suddenly, I’m wondering if this series will continue.
( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
This will be the conclusion of this series in which we have explored and discovered some of the origins of spanking children within Christianity. It was my goal to show that spanking is from man and not God, as so many well-meaning Christians have believed throughout the ages. In this paper, I will show how the idea of controlling children dates back to the early church in the ancient world, look at how Catholicism has advocated and used physical punishment with children, show the likely origin of the “Christian rules of how to spank children,” and will conclude with explaining Behaviorism and how physical punishment falls under that very old and outdated branch of Psychology.
The Origins of the Christian Need to Control Children
Many Christian advocates of spanking as well as the parents who follow these advocates are often quite concerned with controlling their children’s behavior, and really, one could say controlling their children. Advocates such as James Dobson, the Ezzos, the Pearls, and others teach parents that they must be in control of their children from birth. They claim that newborn infants must be taught that their parents are the bosses, not them. If this sounds familiar, it is because control and breaking children’s wills go hand and hand. We’ve seen how breaking the child’s will has been advocated for and done by Christians throughout history despite there being no biblical grounds for doing such a thing (See Parts 1, 2, & 3 for more info on breaking children’s wills). This need for adults to control their children dates back to New Testament times. In fact, certain verses of the New Testament are used to try and justify controlling one’s children. [Read more...]
God gave man free will so that we could choose Him. He could have made us without free will and unable to sin, but He did not want that. And yet, many parents have believe that they should break their children’s will, which Molly discusses in her post, Breaking The Will.
PfamilyGal expresses her concerns about the Pearls’ teachings in REAL Parenting Joy.
Janet Heimlich has written a book, Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light On Religious Child Maltreatment (Prometheus Books, 2011), which is due out June 1. More information on her website. If anyone reads this book and sends me a review of it, I will be glad to post it here.
Elizabeth Esther has done a post for Rachel Hold Evens which discusses the idea that Even God Does Not Break Our Will.
Along the same lines, The Wartburg Watch has reposted a letter from Bob Dixon explaining Why He Finally Left Sovereign Grace Ministries After 30 years.
Warning, the first post should not be read by sensitive people:
Humiliation at Hephzibah House: Restriction and Control over Restroom Breaks
Jonathan Wesley (1703-1791) is known as the founder of Methodism, and for the effects he had (and still has) on the education of children and adults. In Part 2, I looked at the child-rearing practices of his mother, Susanna Wesley, whom many Christian advocates of spanking hold up as a model for Christian mothers. Susanna gave John special attention as he almost died in one of the house fires. John deeply loved his mother, and it has been said that he didn’t think he could ever find a woman like his mother to marry. Now, before we say that his mother’s child-rearing practices couldn’t have been that bad if he loved her that much, it is well documented that abused children that have been taken away from their abusive parents will cry and ask, “If I’m really good tomorrow, can I go home to my mommy and daddy?” As I point out in Part 5 of my series called, “Spanking is NOT God’s Will,” children have a very forgiving nature and love their parents no matter what. That’s how I was with my dad despite his physical abuse. He said he was sorry many times throughout my childhood, and I always forgave him. Now some pro-spankers may argue that there’s a line between abuse and spanking. My dad never left marks on my body, but it was indeed abuse as he’d hit and be rough with me for things out of my control. My mom only spanked me once, and though she never apologized, I forgave her within the week. Though both my parents were wrong for hitting me, I’ve long forgiven both of them and have a great relationship with my mom. So, for all those who claim spankings didn’t hurt them, I must ask that they truly think about how they felt right before, during, and afterwards because when children are hurt by the closest people in their lives, it does harm and hurt, otherwise there wouldn’t be so much denial and controversy over using physical punishment with our children! And if spanking (hitting) children was ordained by God, then there would be NO questions or controversy among Christians and the secular world regarding the amount of harm spanking a child does as Scripture clearly states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. [Read more...]
No Longer Quivering has started a new story by Libby Anne about her childhood in which she was raised by the Pearl Method. In part 1 she tells about how her mother almost killed her little sister by strict adherence to the Pearl Method.
ABC News Exposes Alleged Abuse in some IFB Churches on this News Video. The Schatz story is mentioned as well as the recent Lori Wick Child Abuse Scandal. Brian Fuller of Trinity Baptist Church condemns the abuse and insists that not all IFB churches are the same. I agree with him, as my Independent Fundamental Baptist church is nothing like that either. The very fact that they are Independent shows that they are not all the same. But I digress. This video is a tease for tonight’s episode of 20/20 which aired Friday April 8, 2011
Cindy, from Under Much Grace, analyzes what causes people like Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz to harm their children in a new series:
Why Good People Make Dangerous Choices (Pondering Pearl and Lydia Schatz)
Part I: Virtue In Place of Unquestioned Obedience.
Part II: How Dehumanization (and Declaring War Against Family Members) Causes Moral Disengagement
Part III: Defining Aggression as Normal, Acceptable, and Desired Behavior
Part IV: The Milgram Experiment and the Pressure to Commit Evil for the Common Good
Bad Apples or Bad Barrels? The Short and Long Versions of Zimbardo on the Lucifer Effect
Part VI: The Calm Before the Storm Following the Schatzes’ “Guilty” Pleas
Part VII: The Breaking the “Diabolical Will” of Infants in the IFB – Even at Hephzibah House
Part VIII: There But For Grace
Part IX: Using the Milgram Study to Understand How Pearl Becomes Appealing
Cindy, of Under Much Grace, explains exactly what Rhabdomyolosis is in, How Do We Track Kidney Failure and Kidney Damage in Children Who Are Trained Using the Pearl Method? She explains that kidney damage is permanent and wonders how many children are living with a chronic yet undiagnosed condition in this important and informative post.
Also, don’t miss this internet radio show about the same topic.
Meanwhile, the Schatz trial has been scheduled and both the Chico Enterprise Record and the Paradise Post are running the following story which I will paste here for permanence.
By RYAN OLSON – Staff Writer
Posted: 03/31/2011 12:00:00 AM PDTOROVILLE — After a couple of postponements, a trial is ready to proceed in the case of a Paradise couple charged with allegedly whipping their adopted daughter to death and torturing another.
Attorneys representing Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz told Butte County Superior Court Judge Kristen Lucena they were ready to begin the trial on April 11.
The trial was initially set to begin in November, but was delayed so attorneys could review thousands of pages of evidence.
A second date for February was set aside in favor the April 11 date.
During Wednesday’s trial readiness conference, Lucena determined the trial would take place in her courtroom.
The prosecution alleges Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz used a length of quarter-inch plumber’s supply line to beat adopted daughters Lydia Schatz, 7, and Zariah Schatz, then 11, during separate “Biblical chastisements” on Feb. 4 and 5, 2010.
Lydia Schatz was taken to Feather River Hospital after the mother reported to 9-1-1 that she had stopped breathing. Zariah Schatz arrived at a Sacramento hospital in critical condition with whip-like marks before recovering.
The Schatzes have pleaded not guilty to charges of murder, torture involving great bodily injury and misdemeanor child abuse. If convicted, each could face a maximum sentence of two life terms in prison.
Before the trial date, there will be an April 8 hearing for motions that should be considered before a jury is selected.
At that time, the defense will
have an opportunity to respond to Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey’s recent request to include hearsay evidence based on out-of-court statements from Zariah Schatz.While Zariah Schatz will be called to testify, Ramsey said outside of court that she had also spoken to police and medical personnel after her sister’s death.
Staff writer Ryan Olson can be reached at 896-7763 or rolson@chicoer.com.
THE CASE: On Feb. 4 and 5, 2010, Elizabeth and Kevin Schatz of Paradise allegedly used a whip-like instrument to discipline two adopted daughters in separate incidents. The 7-year-old daughter stopped breathing and subsequently died from her injuries. The 11-year-old daughter suffered serious injuries but recovered.
THE CHARGES: Both parents face counts of murder, torture involving great bodily injury and misdemeanor child abuse.
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