Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

Sarah explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small.  She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.

More about Teaching

The Hippie Housewife explains the Basics of Gentle Discipline, focusing on Teaching Skills which makes a great follow up to yesterday’s post on Teaching Babies. She offers skills to prepare babies and children for the future.  As she explains:

These future-oriented solutions provide the child with skills that will be used throughout and beyond childhood. The focus is on developing the child’s own internal control rather than on managing behaviour through external control, thereby assisting the child in navigating life in a way that keeps their dignity intact.

She also links to some very helpful posts to provide background which I also recommend and have linked to in the past.

Note that this post is part of the 2012 Carnival of Gentle Discipline which you can find at the bottom of the post.

Abuse Without Hitting

Dulce de Leche features an anonymous testimony about the damage of emotional and mental abuse in But He Never Hit Her.

Is Your Parenting Based on Fear or Faith?

Carissa Robinson compares Fear-Based and Faith-Based Parenting.  Which one one do you think glorifies God?  Which one do you use?

For more help, check out this post by Pearl in Oyster (PIO) about how we can use our God-given hormones to help us parent better in Oxytocin and “Time In.”

Contemplating Gentle Discipline

Molly contemplates what Gentle Discipline means to her in Beyond The Ideas.

A Psychology Professor Critiques the Pearls’ Teachings

Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas has uploaded a video from FOX News in which “SMU Psychology Professor George Holden, who specializes in child-parent relationships and positive child rearing, talks critically about Michael and Debi Pearl’s book “To Train Up A Child,” which advocates spanking.”  More information about Professor Holden here.

Gentle Parenting and Defiance

MamaPsalmist considers how hard it is to leave punitive spanking behind when a child is being defiant and if it is worth it in, Coming Out of Hiding.

Spiritual Roots

Dulce de Leche looks at the Spiritual Roots of discipline.

Does God Want Us To Break Their Wills?

Elizabeth  Esther has  a post which discusses the idea that Even God Does Not Break Our Will.

Along the same lines, The Wartburg Watch has reposted a letter from Bob Dixon explaining Why He Finally Left Sovereign Grace Ministries After 30 years.

Looking at Bill Gothard

Dulce de Leche has shared some memories of Bill Gothard’s seminars and how his teachings affected her during her formative years in, Peering Underneath the Umbrella: Musings on Gothardism.  This is an exposé as well as a testimony as she gives us an inside look at Gothard’s teachings.

Speaking of Bill Gothard, E. Stephen Burnett has an interesting post at Quivering Daughters called, Bill Gothard and Patriarchy: Re-routed Feminism? which analyzes a quote from Bill Gothard about submission and looks at why so many of Patriarchy’s promoters are women.

Testing the Spirit of Quiverfull

Kristen Rosser has started a series over at NLQ called, Testing the Spirit of Quiverfull. I think this checklist of sorts actually pertains to all Patriarchy teachings. This is good reading for someone who is dabbling with Quiverfull/Patriarchy and thinking that they can separate the “meat from the bones.”  These posts are written specifically for those  “who have chosen to accept the Bible as authoritative for faith and practice. ”

Here are the posts so far:
Testing the Spirit of Quiverfull: Isolation
Testing the Spirit of Quiverfull: Hierarchy & Control
Testing the Spirit of Quiverfull: Perfectionism & Elitism

Control

The Peaceful Housewife doesn’t like to be controlled. Do you? Most people don’t.  😉 It shouldn’t come as any surprise that our children don’t like it much either.

Meanwhile, Dulce de Leche explains a bit of what not controlling your budding chef looks like.

The Root Problem

Dulce de Leche uncovers the root problem with the punitive mindset in her post, Authority, Submission, Control and Discipline.

Yes, the root problem is control. Now that you have seen why we should not try to control our children, Lucy explains why she cannot control her children and what that looks like in her house.

Bethany Breaks Free

Bethany Basset, of Coffee Stained Clarity, reflects on the sadness she feels at finding out that her high school friends are following the Pearls’ teachings.

I see that Bethany was raised in the VF/Patriarchy mindset.  She posts her story in 5 parts:

The Preface: The Stuff of Brains
Part 1: The Net
Part 2: The Reality
Part 3: The Hope
Part 4: The Outcome

And she has an epilogue about parenting with grace here.  I love a happy ending.  <3

Sharing Life With Your Children

GreenGem has an interesting post about her Wonderful Life. In this post she explains why she allows her young sons to jump on the couch and run around the house. She also explains how she does housework with her sons, including cooking and cleaning. Children learn a lot from such activities. I wish I had had the patience to allow my young sons to help me with the housework more often when they were young.  This post also contains a very important message about control.  Just in case someone should read my words without reading hers, I want to share this Gem:

Controlled kids become easily controlled adults, not self controlled adults.

To Control a Child

Cultured Mama has written some very good arguments against the manipulative and dangerous teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl in To Control a Child. She also warns against Ezzo and Babywise and gives a lot of links for further research.