Shannon Evans pleas for an end to Obedience-Based Christian Parenting, especially for adopted children, in a very well written post. This is a good post to share with pro-spankers because she explains the danger of the mindset without condemning spankers. I realize that many of my followers are disappointed in this post and claiming that it does not go far enough. We have to understand that there is a time and place for baby steps. People rarely jump from pro-spanker to anti-spanker in moment of epiphany. Such a change is usually a long, arduous journey. Information taken in at each step of the way will either push them further along on the way or push them backwards. A blog post which condemns all spanking is often rejected and may even push them right back to their starting spot. It is clear from this post that the author has come a long way and is in danger of alienating many people she loves by posting this. I applaud her courage and passionate plea.
Another testimony from someone who was “lovingly” spanked/hit by her well meaning Christian parents, and yet, was harmed. Pro-spankers, please do not dismiss these real stories. After all, if spanking is so “godly,” why do you call people harmed by spankings “spoiled brats? Here is Donia’s story:
“This was how I was raised. Spanked ‘biblically’ by loving parents and I turned out fine…..except I didn’t. I lied, I cheated (in our Christian school, no less), I stole, I had sex, even trying [Read more…]
Victoria Strong blames her abusive childhood on the teachings of Dr. James Dobson and is now reviewing his book, The Strong-Willed Child. She explains why in this heartbreaking quote:
So that is why I’m reviewing this book. I need to know what it says. I need some answers as to why my parents seemed to hate me so much. Why they were constantly angry with me. Why I was beaten with belts, punched in the stomach, slammed into walls, slapped across the face, and berated constantly, all in the name of tough love, the Bible, and most often, “Dr. Dobson says…”. Why I was never permitted to tell my side of the story or explain myself. Why they always, always, always assumed the worst about me. I need to know. I need to heal. So without further adieu, let’s dig in, shall we?
She starts here with the Dedication, and already has 7 posts up and is only on page 19 of the book at this writing.
It is very sad that her parents tried to raise her under Biblical teachings and yet failed to raise her to believe the Bible as an authority in her life. This is just another example of how these kinds of harsh teachings fail both children and their parents.
Disclaimer: this blog contains mild profanity.
Many Christian pro-spankers such as James Dobson and Michael Pearl equate animal training with child rearing. Pearl claims that training children is much like training “stubborn mules.” Dobson uses an example of whipping his tiny dog into submission to taming a toddler. They believe that training children and animals require fear and pain with “love” in order to achieve absolute obedience. Is this true? Is animal training similar to child rearing? What does God have to say about this?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately due to a recent incident with our cat Patches. Patches is a calico cat. She has always been a very oral kitty. She chews cardboard boxes and lightly bites us whenever she’s happy, playful, or loving. She never bites aggressively. Recently, my husband got up in the morning and went into his home office to turn on the computer and his ham radio equipment before getting dressed, making coffee, and feeding our two cats their breakfast. There is a fan in his office door as the cats are not allowed in there due to all of his electronics. It can get quite warm in there, so the fan keeps the air flowing. As usual that morning, the cats greeted my husband in the hallway then eagerly waited for him outside his office door.
All of a sudden there were two loud bangs outside his door then the loud sound of our wooden TV dinner table crashing over. All the noise alarmed my husband and woke me up. My husband found Patches in our utility room on top of our water heater very freaked out. [Read more…]
God gave man free will so that we could choose Him. He could have made us without free will and unable to sin, but He did not want that. And yet, many parents have believe that they should break their children’s will, which Molly discusses in her post, Breaking The Will.
Deb has posted the 3rd and final part of her review of Michael Pearl’s book, To Train Up A Child. In this post she looks at how Pearl prevented “sissies” and trained his children to always be happy. She also looks at what he teaches about the rod. She says that what Pearl teaches about persistence bothered her the most. I totally understand that. It is exactly this emphasis on persistence which I suspect killed Lydia Schatz.