Science and Spanking

So, there have been some new studies lately regarding spanking. While I realize that many Christians don’t give a fig what the scientists say, many do and I thought it might be helpful to link to some articles about these studies.

Here is an article from Scientific American.

Here is an article from IFL Science.

I also have a nice article from Psychology Today which looks at child development and explains that many of kids’ so-called “naughty” behaviors are developmental and human.

But They Look So Happy

Home Educating Family Magazine has published an opinion piece about the Duggars and the teachings they follow (Gothard, S. M. Davis and Pearl) called, They Smile, but Do They Laugh?

 

More about Teaching

The Hippie Housewife explains the Basics of Gentle Discipline, focusing on Teaching Skills which makes a great follow up to yesterday’s post on Teaching Babies. She offers skills to prepare babies and children for the future.  As she explains:

These future-oriented solutions provide the child with skills that will be used throughout and beyond childhood. The focus is on developing the child’s own internal control rather than on managing behaviour through external control, thereby assisting the child in navigating life in a way that keeps their dignity intact.

She also links to some very helpful posts to provide background which I also recommend and have linked to in the past.

Note that this post is part of the 2012 Carnival of Gentle Discipline which you can find at the bottom of the post.

Discipline without Harm Part 1

In this series we will be looking at how to biblically discipline our children without inflicting pain on them or harming them in any way.  Some of the discipline strategies that we will be discussing throughout this series are modeling, child-proofing, validating feelings, fulfilling the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting realistic limits and boundaries, helping children comply, giving choices, and using natural and logical consequences with children.  The Bible says that we are to encourage each other (2 Corinthians 13:11).  All of the discipline strategies in this series do exactly that with our children.  In this first piece, we will be discussing authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting.  We will also discuss how to child-proof, modeling, and introducing God to our children.

Authoritative versus Permissive Parenting—Not Spanking does NOT Mean Wild, Rebellious Children

Pro-spankers often accuse or claim that parents who do not spank or use any type of punishment with their children of having wild and rebellious children.  This simply is not the case for parents that use the authoritative parenting style.  There seems to be much confusion over the three types of parenting styles.  We discussed the authoritarian parenting style in great detail in Part 6 of my series, “The Effects of Spanking,” which you will find in my new book, “Gentle Firmness.” As we begin to focus on how to gently but firmly discipline children, we need to examine the other two parenting styles: authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. [Read more…]

Big Emotions

Dulce de Leche explains the importance of feelings in Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Big Emotions.

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) offers a 52 Tool Card Double Feature: Wheel of Choice and Anger Wheel of Choice.  She also has some insight from Jeff VanVonderen about three Greek words for anger in the Bible.

Elizabeth Esther Explains the Popularity of TTUAC

Elizabeth Esther explains How “To Train Up A Child” Got So Popular in a video.

Meanwhile, Dulce de Leche considers Defiance and the Thought Police in a very important post.  Are you punishing your children for obeying but with a defiant attitude? Are you expecting them to obey right away with a convincing smile? If so, you are ordering them to pretend to feel something they don’t. You are ordering them to lie and be hypocrites. God does not have a problem with emotional outbursts, but He hates lying and hypocrisy. Dulce also warns,

The child is left with two options: lie convincingly or never question anything internally, not even to understand it better . . .  Over years of practice, both options are exceedingly dangerous. You wind up with a compulsive people pleaser who will lie convincingly without qualm or someone who believes everything and never thinks for himself.

 

Dealing With Big Feelings

MorningGloryGirl has a post at Dare To Disciple about Dealing With Children’s Big Feelings.

Validate Emotions

Pearl in Oysters (PIO) posts about the importance of Validating Emotions as part of her 52 Tool Cards series.

Gentle Parenting Toolbox part 2

Dulce de Leche has posted part 2 of her teaching on the Gentle Discipline Toolbox.

Gentle Parenting Tools

Dulce de Leche is coached in gentle parenting by her 7 yr old in Wise as Serpents, Harmless as Doves.

Damaging Effects of Punishment on Children

GreeneGem explains the damage  which was done to her by her mothers trampling on her Boundaries.

Speaking of damage, did you know that when babies are left to cry it out, their little bodies are being flooded with Cortisol?   Discipleship Parenting looks at what  effect that has on them.

Meanwhile Pearl, from An Apprenticeship in the Art of Gentle Discipline, looks at the Spiritual Discipline of Parenting to Sleep.

link to Problem With Cheerfully Punitive Parenting

I just added The problem with Cheerfully Punitive Parenting from Simple Gifts to Arguments against The Pearls’ Teachings