First Time Obedience | Why Not Train A Child?

Children and Their Choices

May 20, 2013 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

forgedimagination has a very interesting series about Choices and Children Being Allowed to Make Them.

Part 1 in which she shares a story from her childhood about being allowed to make choices.

Part 2 in which she tells us about how her right to make choices came to be taken away and introduces a petition for the Home School Legal Defense Association to openly acknowledge that homeschoolers can also be abusers, and to educate their members about child abuse.

Part 3 in which she explains how inherently abusive it is to raise children with the doctrine of Instance Obedience.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Other Abusive Teachings Tagged With choices, Defeating The Dragons, first time obedience, forgedimagination, IFB Churches

Benefits of Gentle Parenting

May 7, 2013 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Jesse Hoover writes about how being gentle allowed him to correct without losing his son’s heart in When An Iron Fist Turns Soft.

Dara Stoltzfus shares about how gentle parenting saved her life as she discusses blind obedience.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With blind obedience, danger, Dara Stoltzfus, examples of gentle parenting, fear, first time obedience, gentle discipline, gentle father, Jesse Hoover, teens and tweens, thinking children

Voddie Baucham and The Sin of Shyness

March 4, 2013 By Hermana Linda 5 Comments

Did Voddie Baucham really say that a shy child who refuses to obey a parent and say hello to him is sinning? Cindy of Under Much Grace provides the evidence (in the form of a transcribed audio clip) so that you can decide for yourself.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Other Abusive Teachings Tagged With first time obedience, sin of shyness, Under Much Grace, Voddie Baucham

Bringing Out The Best In Our Children

February 23, 2013 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Sara Mae shares how spanking was affecting her 2 1/2 year old’s self esteem and why she and her husband decided to stop in How Gentleness Makes Our Children Great.

Dara Stoltzfus also has noticed the importance of a child’s self-worth and explains how we can encourage their inner beauty in Princes and Princesses on the Inside.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Links, Testimonies Tagged With anger, Anti Spanking Links, Breaking the will, Dara Stoltzfus, first time obedience, gentleness, inner beauty, New Testament, Sara Mae, self worth, testimony, Would Jesus Spank?

Obedience and Fear

December 12, 2012 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Do your children fear getting in trouble? Dara Stoltzfus shows us how dangerous it can be for children to fear their parents in a *very* sensitive post. Honestly, I wish I had never read this post. It is so disturbing that I will just summarize it for the sensitive. A 9 year old girl put herself into the worse situation imaginable because she was more afraid of getting in trouble than she was of a stranger. Horrific. Why would a child who had done nothing wrong be afraid to go home and instead seek refuge with a stranger? Please don’t allow your children to be afraid of you. Even a child who has done something wrong should not be afraid of their parents. Perfect love casts out all fear.

So, how should we get our children to obey? Please see what MamaPsalmist has to say about Obedience.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Links Tagged With Anti Spanking Links, blind obedience, compliance, critical thinking, danger, Dara Stoltzfus, fear, first time obedience, MamaPsalmist, sexual abuse, trust

Delayed Obedience is Disobedience?

November 26, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Does the Bible teach that delayed obedience is disobedience? To answer that question, Carissa Robinson examines the Parable of The Two Sons in First Time, With a Happy Heart.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With Dara Stoltzfus, first time obedience, happy heart, New Testament, Would Jesus Spank?

Sally Clarkson Looks At Obedience

August 8, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Veteran Mother and writer, Sally Clarkson, looks at first time obedience in Obedience is a pathway of Maturity and Faith.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With Behaviorism, Discipleship, first time obedience, immaturity, infants, Proverbs, Sally Clarkson, The Path of Life, toddlers

Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

August 1, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Sarah, of Under the Olive Branch, explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small. She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Links, Counter Arguments Tagged With adversarial relationship, Anti Spanking Links, authority, behavior modification, boundaries, Breaking the will, character of God, comfort corner, control, Counter Arguments, danger, Discipleship, fear, first time obedience, grace, Grace Based Discipline, Hebrew, I was spanked and I turned out OK, mercy, Natural/Logical Consequences, Proverbs, punishment, research studies, rod, stoning, Under The Olive Branch

Discipline without Harm Part 3

July 17, 2012 By Steph Leave a Comment

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Throughout this series we are discussing ways of disciplining children that are more in line with what God had in mind. All of the discipline strategies in this series are very effective when used consistently and in conjunction with each other. They are all biblically supported and sound. And none of these methods, when used properly and respectfully, will ever cause any harm to children. In this piece, we will look at how to set appropriate limits and boundaries for our children by which they can abide. We will see that allowing children simple choices and giving appropriate alternatives for inappropriate behaviors also help children comply with our limits and boundaries. Next, we will see why using encouragement with our children is better than using rewards and praise. Finally, we will discuss using natural and logical consequences with children. Consequences are not the same as punishment. And discipline should not be equated with punishment.

Setting Limits and Boundaries—“Three Basic Rules for Life.”

We all need limits and boundaries in our lives for without them life would be very chaotic. This is especially true for children as this world is too overwhelming for them to handle on their own. Children feel most secure when they know what the limits and boundaries are. In fact, young children will test limits and boundaries to make sure that the adults in their lives will enforce them. “Children need secure, loving boundaries in order to feel safe, just as adults need a house with strong walls and a roof to feel protected from the weather. [Read more...]

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With Behaviorism, boundaries, Breaking the will, Carol Dweck, Cheryl Erwin, child development, Crystal Lutton, danger, Deborah Greenwald, Dr. Kay Kuzma, Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Sears, encouragement, first time obedience, gentle discipline, gentle parenting, Irene Van De Zande, Irene Van der Zande, Jane Nelsen Ed.D., Jenny Anderson, Magda Gerber, Mutual respect, Natural/Logical Consequences, praise, psychology, Roslyn Ann Duffy, strong willed child, Tarry Time, The Broken Record Strategy, toddlers, trust

But They Look So Happy

July 4, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Home Educating Family Magazine has published an opinion piece about the Duggars and the teachings they follow (Gothard, S. M. Davis and Pearl) called, They Smile, but Do They Laugh?

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Links about the Pearls Tagged With ATI, Bill Gothard, cheerfulness, Duggars, emotions, feelings, first time obedience, happy heart, Home Educating Family Magazine, Pearls, quotes ttuac, S. M. Davis, The Pearls' Teachings, ttuac

A Closer Look at Obedience

May 15, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Molly, from Adventures in Discipline, takes a closer look at Obedience.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With compliance, examples of gentle parenting, first time obedience, gentle discipline, gentle parenting, happy heart, Molly / Willow

Delayed or grudging obedience is disobedience?

April 10, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Claire continues her Myth Busting series with Myth Busting 9: Right Away, All the Way, With a Happy Heart – or it’s Rebellion!

Part I: Delayed or grudging obedience is disobedience?

Part II: Is Disobedience to Parents Rebellion?

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With boundaries, child development, Claire, Dare to Disciple, disobedience, first time obedience, happy heart, King Saul, Myth Busting, rebellion

Should Obedience Be The Goal of Parenting?

March 2, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

The Hippie Housewife asks if our goal for our children should be Obedience or something else.

On a similar note, Created To Be His muses on the idea that Sons of Hell Can Be Rather Impressive.

Meanwhile, Pearl in Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with 52 Tool Cards Double Feature: Act Without Words and One Word.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With 52 tool cards, behavior modification, child development, Created to be His, critical thinking skills, discipline, examples of gentle parenting, first time obedience, fruit of the Spirit, gentle discipline, goal of parenting, healthy relationships, hippie housewife, King David, love, Pharisees, PIO

The Effects of Spanking Part 6 Sensitive

February 21, 2012 By Steph 4 Comments

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

In the last part of this series we saw how teaching children to equate love with pain can cause them to become sadomasochistic. We also saw how spanking children, even when done “lovingly” and the “right way,” causes many children to struggle with depression, guilt, and shame as having pain intentionally inflicted on them by their parents never makes them feel positive about themselves. In this concluding piece of this series, we will see how spanking keeps the vicious cycle of abuse and authoritarian parenting going for generations unless one fights against it. New research shows that children that are physically punished/abused can develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome as they deny and repress their pain. Also, I will be showing that intentionally inflicting pain on children causes brain damage as the brain gets rewired due to experiencing pain and trauma throughout childhood. Many parents do not realize how vulnerable the young, developing brain is. Finally, I will be explaining the Scientific Method of conducting research in order to disprove the claim of a great deal of pro-spankers that all the research proving spanking is harmful is somehow biased. I hope this series further proves that spanking did not come from God otherwise none of these harmful effects would ever occur.

The Cycle of Abuse and Authoritarian Parenting—“My parents spanked me and I survived and so will my children!”
[Read more...]

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Arguments Tagged With "right way" to spank, abuse, adversarial relationship, Alice Miller, authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting, blind obedience, brain, brain development, Breaking the will, child development, control, controlled children, corporal punishment, cycle of abuse, David Ziegler, depression, dissociation, Dr. Bruce Perry, Dr. Kay Kuzma, Dr. Linda Mayers, Eamon McCroy, emotional trauma, fear, first time obedience, grace, guilt, I was spanked and I turned out OK, J.J. Freyd, Janet Heimlich, Joan Durant, Keim, Keith, Kunsman, Levy, manipulation, Megan Gunnar, Milgram, Nazis, Pearls, permissive parenting, Phillip Greven, punishment, rehoboam, research studies, Riak, rod, science, shame, spanking, Stockholm Syndrome, stress hormones, teens and tweens, testimony, Three Parenting Styles, Under Much Grace, Would Jesus Spank?

Commandments for Parents

January 20, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Dulce de Leche explains how some parents inadvertently set themselves up as idols in The 10 Commandments for Parents: No Other Gods.

Alison Strobel explains Golden Rule Parenting.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With 10 Commandments for Parents, Alison Strobel, cleansing of guilt, discipline, Dulce de Leche, first time obedience, gentle parenting, golden rule, grace, hearts, perfection, punishment, shame, Would Jesus Spank?

It’s Not Just About Spanking Children, It’s About Breaking Children

January 9, 2012 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Former Pearl follower Becky, from Created To Be His, shares a letter she wrote explaining her concerns with the Pearls and their teachings. In this letter she also explains what these teachings have to do with the death of Lydia Schatz and includes quotes from the book.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Letters, Schatz Tagged With Breaking the will, Catez Stevens, Created to be His, death, first time obedience, grace, letter, plastic plumber supply line, quotes ttuac, rhabdomyolosis, Sally Clarkson, Schatz, The Pearls' Teachings, Tim Kimmel

Elizabeth Esther Explains the Popularity of TTUAC

December 7, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Elizabeth Esther explains How “To Train Up A Child” Got So Popular in a video.

Meanwhile, Dulce de Leche considers Defiance and the Thought Police in a very important post. Are you punishing your children for obeying but with a defiant attitude? Are you expecting them to obey right away with a convincing smile? If so, you are ordering them to pretend to feel something they don’t. You are ordering them to lie and be hypocrites. God does not have a problem with emotional outbursts, but He hates lying and hypocrisy. Dulce also warns,

The child is left with two options: lie convincingly or never question anything internally, not even to understand it better . . . Over years of practice, both options are exceedingly dangerous. You wind up with a compulsive people pleaser who will lie convincingly without qualm or someone who believes everything and never thinks for himself.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Links about the Pearls Tagged With cheerfulness, Defiance, Dulce de Leche, Elizabeth Esther, emotions, feelings, first time obedience, hypocrisy, people pleasers, petition, punishment, ttuac, Word of mouth

Elizabeth Esther on Anderson

November 30, 2011 By Hermana Linda 2 Comments

Elizabeth Esther will be appearing on Anderson Cooper’s new daytime talk show (on FOX) with Michael Pearl this Friday (Dec 2, 2011) and she writes about it here, My appearance on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show airs this Friday, Dec. 2nd #NoMoreDeadKids. She includes a link to find out where and when you can watch it in your area. And here is a promo for the show.

Here is another recent post where she explains why many people follow Pearls’ teachings: Seductive promise of perfectly happy, obedient children feeds abuse.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Links about the Pearls Tagged With abuse, Anderson Cooper, Elizabeth Esther, first time obedience, Pro-Spankers, Proverbs, quotes ttuac, testimony, The Pearls' Teachings, Tim Kimmel, training, TV

The Effects Of Spanking Part 4 Sensitive

October 29, 2011 By Steph 20 Comments

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

In the previous piece we looked at how spanking/abuse negatively effects the development of empathy in children. We also saw that any type of physical punishment can cause aggressive tendencies in children and adults. Physical punishment also leads to anger in children and adults due to being hurt intentionally by the very people that are supposed to love and protect them. In this piece, we will see that fear is the main effect of hitting children. We will see that by teaching children that God wants them to be spanked, they often develop a fear of God which either strains their relationships with God or causes them to reject Him altogether. Finally, we will see that spanking “in love” is indeed harmful despite what many pro-spankers claim.

Fear-“That child needs the fear of the Lord put in him!”

We have all heard that line from pro-spankers a number of times. As I pointed out Part 5 in my series, “Spanking is NOT God’s Will,” putting the fear of God into a child is one of the primary reasons people spank children. They use fear and respect as interchangeable concepts when they have no similarities in their meanings. (See Part 6 of “The Christian History of Spanking for more info). Fear is indeed the primary effect experienced by all children who are physically punished whether mildly or severely. Pain is why physical punishment is effective, though only temporally, as most humans are afraid of pain and will usually do everything in their power to avoid it. It usually takes only 1 or 2 times of a young child being hit for him/her to become afraid of getting spanked. Most pro-spankers, especially Christians, view this fear as a good thing, and even a must, in order to teach children to obey them and ultimately God. Yet, 2 Timothy 1:7 states, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” And 1 John 4:18 says that there is no fear in love. Fear comes from satan. “Courage comes from God, while fear is what Satan tries to give us” (Meyer, 2011, p. 272). Throughout the Bible God tells His people not to be afraid of Him. [Read more...]

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Arguments Tagged With "right way" to spank, “Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, abuse, agression, anger, Anxiety, Beth Fenimore, Broken Daughters, Carissa Robinson, character of God, compliance, crying, Daniel Paul Schreber, definition of abuse, Dr. Sears, Dulce de Leche, effects of spanking, Elizabeth Thompson Gershoff, fear, fight or flight, first time obedience, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Grille, Janet Heimlich, love, lying, Nadine A. Block and Madeleine Y. Gomez, pain = love, Pekrun & Perry, people pleasers, perfectionism, Phil E. Quinn, Phillip Greven, repentance, Robin Grille, sin of shyness, Strauss, stress hormones, Using God's Name in Vain, William Webb

A Closer Look At The Pearls’ Teachings and Adoption

October 8, 2011 By Hermana Linda 6 Comments

Christine Minich takes a look at The Pearls’ Teachings in:

The Disturbing World of The Pearls in which she looks at Doublespeak and Definitions as well as some examples of his abusive teachings.

and The Disturbing World of The Pearls Part 2 in which she takes a look at their heretical Theology.

Also, TulipGirl tries to shed some light on the underlying philosophy of the Pearls’ Teachings with On The Pearls And Parenting, Once Again.

The Toronto Sun has an article about the Pearls’ Teachings in Was child abused to death due to advice from book?

Missizzy posted a Recipe For Disaster on the Websleuths.com message board which explains what happened to Lydia and Hanna. You might be interested in the rest of the conversation, it is really quite interesting. I hope it is ok for me to link to this. If anyone objects, please email me at hermanalinda@whynottrainachild.com and I will remove this entire paragraph.

I also thought I’d mention this post from Civil Thoughts about Adoption Education because that is so important.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under In depth analysis, Williams Tagged With abuse, adoption, babies, Christine Minich, civil thoughts, cleansing of guilt, doctrine, doublespeak, false teachings, first time obedience, gospel, heresy, infants, Mainstream News, Missizzy, quotes ttuac, rebellion, salvation, The Pearls' Teachings, theology, training, ttuac, Tulipgirl, Where on the body

Jesus: Gentle Parent

September 26, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Little Hearts Gentle Parenting Resources posts about Jesus, The Gentle Parent and how we can learn from Him and His example.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With character of God, Discipleship, first time obedience, gentle discipline, gentle parenting, gentleness, grace, Little Hearts Gentle Parenting Resources, modeling, parenting, perfection, trust, Would Jesus Spank?

Gentle Parenting In Action

August 12, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Libby Anne has a very interesting blog post about how being raised by the Pearls’ teachings affects her efforts to gently parent her daughter in Parenting Is Not A Contest.

For more examples of Gentle Parenting, check out Pearl in Oyster’s (PIO’s) play by play of one whole day day:

A Day in the Life, Part 1 – Morning Routine

A Day in the Life, Part 2 – getting out the door and running a few errands.

A Day in the Life, Part 3 – Library and Lunch

A Day in the Life, Part 4-The Rest of our Day

And allow Greenegem to show you what Guiding with a rod looks like.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With Day in the life, examples of gentle parenting, first time obedience, gentle discipline, gentle parenting, Greenegem, Libby Anne, Pearls, PIO, rod, selfishness, The Pearls' Teachings, toolbox

Motherhood as Ministry

June 13, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Candace of His Mercy is New looks at The Ministry of Motherhood and His Grace in My Life in this lovely testimony.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Other Abusive Teachings Tagged With authoritarian parenting, Babywise, Candace, failing, first time obedience, freedom, grace, ministry, Sally Clarkson, testimony

Spanking Infants???

April 12, 2011 By Hermana Linda 1 Comment

Elizabeth Esther posted about the 20/20 exposé of abuse in some IBF churches and interprets Pastor Brian Fuller’s remarks. She explains the teaching of first time obedience and how common the spanking of infants really in these churches. By the way, some of the comments of this blog post seem to have inside information in them.

Also, I want to make it clear that not all Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches have abusive teachings. I am a member of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church which does not. The pastor often reminds us that salvation is by faith in Jesus and what He did alone and you cannot add anything to that. He reminds us that saying a prayer or baptism or anything else will not save you, you are saved by believing that what Jesus said and did is true. They do believe in corporal punishment but I have never heard of anyone there spanking an infant or using an implement. While they might say that they believe in wifely submission, what I see looks more like mutual submission. I see no signs of the patriarchal movement, most of the women in that church wear pants. They also cut and dye their hair and nobody says a word about it. Women work outside the home and girls are expected to go to college. On top of that, many in the congregation uses public schools. So, I don’t know how extensive the abuse in IFB churches is but I believe that churches need to be considered on a church by church basis. After all, they are independent.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Other Abusive Teachings Tagged With 20/20, abuse, Anti Spanking Links, Brian Fuller, Elizabeth Esther, exposé, first time obedience, IFB Churches, infants, mutual submission, Pro-Spankers, Schatz, Trinity Baptist Church, Wifely Submission

One Mom’s Look at “Shepherding A Child’s Heart”

March 31, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Thatmom has re-posted Anne Sokol’s book review of Ted Tripp’s book, Shepherding A Child’s Heart. I’m so glad she did because I missed it the first time.

Speaking of which, here is another review of that book from MarynMunchkins on GCM.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Anti Spanking Links Tagged With Anne Sokol, authority, first time obedience, Gentle Christian Mothers, hearts, Martin Luther, rebellion, rod, Sally Clarkson, Shepherding A Child's Heart., Tedd Tripp, thatmom

Series on First Time Obedience

March 29, 2011 By Hermana Linda 2 Comments

Cindy of Under Much Grace has posted part 5 of her series about First Time Obedience: Revisiting First Time Obedience: Finding New Alternatives

For your convenience I will paste here the links to the rest of the series along with her descriptions:

►First Time Obedience Introduction
The Selfish Sin of Shyness

A review of the submission required under multigenerational faithfulness as Vision Forum’s carryover from Bill Gothard’s submission teachings with various examples of this demand for unquestioned obedience without credulity. First post specifically examining “First Time Obedience” in young children.

►First Time Obedience and Unquestioned Submission
Part I: Parental Convenience

A review of the principle of sacerdotalism and parental convenience (as a control issue in dysfunctional families) as rationales for requiring “First Time Obedience” and “leaps of faith” required under multigenerational faithfulness.

►First Time Obedience and Unquestioned Submission
Part II: Spiritualizing All Activities

Review of the tendency to make every banal daily activity one of great eternal spiritual significance as a consequence of works-based salvation. Includes a discussion of viewing personality traits that do not fit the belief system’s paradigm as sinful as well as the building up of all gender related activities as sacramental for the impartation of inward sanctification.

►First Time Obedience and Unquestioned Submission:
Addendum to Part II (Spiritualizing All Activities)

Blog host’s personal experience with inherent personality traits treated by parents as sin, the idolatry of seeking parental approval, and the consequences of requiring unquestioned submission with the use of guilt and shame that predisposes one to easy brainwashing and compliance with thought reform. Includes a section from Biderman’s Chart of Coercion addressing the powerful effects of devaluing individuals in religious settings.

►First Time Obedience and Unquestioned Submission
Part III: Poor Development of Analytical Thought and Problem Solving Skills

Discussion of the development of how perfectionism, works-based salvation and First Time Obedience squelch problem-solving skill and prevent the development of critical thinking under the guise of multigenerational faithfulness.

►First Time Obedience and Unquestioned Submission
Part IV: Theological Concerns

A specific review of the theological problems in Voddie Baucham’s defense of First Time Obedience as well as the refutation of the practice from Scripture. Echos concerns noted in this previous blog post concerning Baucham’s “Family Driven Faith” book.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Patriocentric Teachings Tagged With Ezzo, Family Driven Faith, fear, first time obedience, guilt, Harriet Braiker, manipulation, multigenerational faithfulness, patriarchy, Pearls, perfection, plastic plumber supply line, quiverfull, Schatz, shame, sin of shyness, sinless perfection, Submission, training, Under Much Grace, unquestioned submission, Voddie Baucham

Thankfull for Gentle Discipline

March 3, 2011 By Hermana Linda 2 Comments

Carissa Robinson has a lovely blog post about how Thankfull she is that they are using gentle discipline, complete with an example of how it works. She also links to Sally Clarkson’s blog post about First Time Obedience. Sally Clarkson writes as the mother of adult children and reflects back on how her children were raised and how dangerous it is to try to use a formula for child raising, especially one which involves training.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With Carissa Robinson, first time obedience, forumula for child raising, harsh, hearts, infants, Sally Clarkson, tantrum, toddlers, training, Would Jesus Spank?

Instant Obedience or Compliance

January 10, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Molly explains the dangers of training children for Instant Obedience or Compliance in this testimony about a young lady and the abuse of authority outside the home.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Patriocentric Teachings, Testimonies Tagged With abuse, authority, boundaries, compliance, first time obedience, Molly / Willow, testimony

The Root Problem

January 1, 2011 By Hermana Linda Leave a Comment

Dulce de Leche uncovers the root problem with the punitive mindset in her post, Authority, Submission, Control and Discipline.

Yes, the root problem is control. Now that you have seen why we should not try to control our children, Lucy explains why she cannot control her children and what that looks like in her house.

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Gentle Parenting Tagged With authority, control, Dare to Disciple, discipline, Dulce de Leche, examples of gentle parenting, first time obedience, happy heart, Lucy, mutual submission, patriarchy, punitive parenting, root problem, safety, strong willed child, Submission, wife only submission, Wifely Submission

Does Punishment Really Produce Godly Character?

December 22, 2010 By Hermana Linda 4 Comments

I just found out about the group known as the Assembly under the ministry of George and Betty Geftakys. I had not heard of them before this, but as they were using the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl (as well as Fugate and Ezzo,) they are of interest. Apparently, they are another cultic and spiritually abusive group. In fact, Betty Geftakys had her own pamphet about child training which almost makes the Pearl’s training methods look mild by comparison.

The post I want to highlight today is from Meg, a former member of that group, and is entitled, Does Discipline Really Produce Godly Character…?

For your sharing convenience:

Filed Under Other Abusive Teachings Tagged With abuse, character, Ezzo, fear, first time obedience, George and Betty Geftakys, Ivan Pavlov, Pearls, Richard Fugate, spiritual abuse, The Assembly, training, ttuac

Children and Their Choices

Benefits of Gentle Parenting

Voddie Baucham and The Sin of Shyness

Bringing Out The Best In Our Children

Obedience and Fear

Delayed Obedience is Disobedience?

Sally Clarkson Looks At Obedience

Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

Discipline without Harm Part 3

But They Look So Happy

A Closer Look at Obedience

Delayed or grudging obedience is disobedience?

Should Obedience Be The Goal of Parenting?

The Effects of Spanking Part 6 Sensitive

Commandments for Parents

It’s Not Just About Spanking Children, It’s About Breaking Children

Elizabeth Esther Explains the Popularity of TTUAC

Elizabeth Esther on Anderson

The Effects Of Spanking Part 4 Sensitive

A Closer Look At The Pearls’ Teachings and Adoption

Jesus: Gentle Parent

Gentle Parenting In Action

Motherhood as Ministry

Spanking Infants???

One Mom’s Look at “Shepherding A Child’s Heart”

Series on First Time Obedience

Thankfull for Gentle Discipline

Instant Obedience or Compliance

The Root Problem

Does Punishment Really Produce Godly Character?

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