Gentle Christian Mothers has posted a testimony on her Facebook page. She includes a lovely photo of her 4 children, I do hope you will take a look. It is a public post so I do not believe that you need to have a Facebook account in order to view it.
In a recent post, I shared discussion of an addition to To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl. There is an exerpt from the chapter on the No Greater Joy website. In this article, Michael Pearl refutes studies which have shown spanking children to be harmful and shares the results of some other studies which he claims show the opposite. Of course, there are flaws in his logic. Here is an example. He states:
Child psychologist Elizabeth Owens, scientist at the Institute of Human Development at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted a study. She concluded, “If you look at the causally relevant evidence, it’s not scientifically defensible to say that spanking is always a horrible thing. I don’t think mild, occasional spankings in an otherwise supportive, loving family will do any long-term harm.”
Gentle Mother, Megbar, took her preschoolers out to dinner for the first time the other night. Wanting to make it a pleasant experience, she prepared them by explaining to them what they should expect and what she expected of them. The dinner went so well that she shared about it on Gentle Christian Mothers. I encourage you to go read about it as it is very encouraging.
While we’re on the subject, here is more from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.
Jeri, of Gentle Christian Mothers, shares about how Gentle Parenting is working now that her children are older.
At 4 months, what you want to be doing is starting the phase of ‘discipline’ that I call “show and tell” — it’s not a phase where you expect the baby to *do* anything at all. I mean that! And I know it doesn’t make sense to say “start discipline” and “the baby doesn’t do anything” when you are coming from a punitive mindset.
What “show and tell” means is that you are building the vocabulary for whatever you want him/her to be able to do without thinking twice once s/he is a toddler. You build vocabulary by saying a word and simultaneously doing that thing to the baby.
For example, when you say “Up” as you pick a baby up, that’s ‘show and tell’ — but of course, “Up” is not an instruction you want your toddler to follow later, so it’s not a good example of how ‘show and tell’ is a good start to good discipline. It’s just an example of the way that people naturally know that ‘show and tell’ is how you teach stuff to babies. It’s how they learn. That’s why it’s the method you choose when you teach everything, including when you teach the vocabulary you want them to grasp for following instructions. It’s a game. It’s no big deal.
At this stage you have TONS of time. Start by thinking and trying out what words you plan to use as your primary ‘words of instruction’. Once you’ve got them figured out, you need to *stop* using them as ordinary parts of chit-chat and *only* use them when you are going to be ‘show and tell’-ing. Your instruction words should be short and sweet. When possible, they should say what ‘is happening / what to do’ instead of ‘what not to do’. Try not to start with more than 6 to 10 instruction words. Select them carefully and always use them identically. (Many of these instruction words are going to sound like [Read more…]
I would like to share 2 things with you about grace.
The other thing I found on Facebook: (scroll down for comments)
I think I would change “Repentant or Not” into “Saved or Not” but I still feel that this gives a good explanation of the difference between Religion and the Gospel. It is also a good explanation of the difference between the Law and Grace.
And as my friend, Rachel Sullivan-Nightengale, said,
Likewise God directs us to discipline our children–NOT threatening or punishing, which result at best in fear-induced outward compliance–but instead discipling them, gently teaching and helping them learn to do what’s right out of love for God.
We strive to imitate the way our Heavenly Father disciplines us, even as adults. He doesn’t punish us–Jesus took our punishment in full. He does guide us with loving patience at our slowness to learn, time after time.
Praise God for His abundant GRACE! May He help us mirror His grace toward our children.
The following was originally posted in thread on Gentle Christian Mothers called, “…And I’m the Strict One!“.
Well, ladies, do you know what’s a show-stopper in a nicely chatting group of Christian Mommies?
It’s when the strictest parent there casually mentions that she doesn’t spank. Here’s the circle of my friends and acquaintances when I mentioned it: 😮 😯 😕
Friend 1: 😮 “You don’t???”
Me: “Yeah, I used to, but I haven’t in a long time.”
Friend 2: 😯 “Really?”
Me: “I try not to do anything harsh at all, really.”
Friend 1: “Well… but… your kids are angels.”
Friend 2: “Some kids just don’t need it.”
Friend 1: “Yeah, I had one that spanking didn’t work for.”
Friend 2 to 1: “It’s not the right tool for every child.”
Friend 1 to me: “You can leave if you want to, if you think it’s cruel.”
Me: “No, I just think it’s unnecessary.”
Friend 2: “Well… you’ve got angels.”
Conversation continues on which kids “need” it, with lots of “funny” stories. Apparently, their various children’s persistent poor habits means the Mom should do more of what they are already doing (spanking), but the consistent excellence of my children has nothing to do with my methods: they were born that way.
Do these people really believe random selection gave me two angels, that I never had to really parent ‘the hard way’ — while they received an assortment of challenges my methods could never meet? I should extra-respect them for raising more difficult children, beyond my scope of experience? Even if they “have to” hit these challenging children, and even if hitting them isn’t showing any benefits!
(someone asks me to clarify what I mean by “strict.”)
Ok, here’s another tidbit of reality then: my husband is often unwell, and, with rare exceptions, that makes me the only “responsible adult” in my family. That means that, since I can’t handle (much) chaos, I can’t allow it.
I have lines of painters tape on my floor outlining “kitchen” in my open-plan home. Children don’t cross those lines when I am cooking. They haven’t for years. If my daughter woke up this morning to find painters tape barring them from exiting their own bedrooms, they would, I am dead sure, stand there and call me, “Mama? Why us this here? Mama, can I cross the tape? Mama, I need to go potty!” [Read more…]
Alison Strobel shares how and why she became a Gentle Christian Mother and how it has improved her life.
Christianity Today Magazine has an article about Corporal Punishment in their January 2012 Issue which you might want to purchase. When and if they post it online, I will post a link to it. This article mentions Hana Alemu “Williams”, Lydia Schatz and Sean Paddock and the influence of To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. It then goes on to discuss the spanking controversy and Professor William Webb’s book, Corporal Punishment In The Bible.
There is a discussion of the article on the Gentle Christian Mothers forum which contains a small quote.
Update: It has been posted here.
As you probably know, today is the day set aside in the United States for giving thanks to God. Therefore, I would like to devote today’s post to doing just that.
First of all, I am very thankful to God for my life and my salvation which He has given me instead of what I deserved.
I am also thankful for my family, friends and church.
I am thankful for Gentle Christian Mothers for teaching me a more healthy way of thinking and for the fellowship there. If it were not for Gentle Christian Mothers, this blog would not exist.
I am thankful for my writers and for all the bloggers to whom I have linked, without them this blog would be small indeed.
And, of course, I am thankful for my readers, without them there would be no purpose for this blog.
All the glory to God.