Preparing Young Children for Eating Out

Gentle Mother, Megbar, took her preschoolers out to dinner for the first time the other night.  Wanting to make it a pleasant experience, she prepared them by explaining to them what they should expect and what she expected of them.  The dinner went so well that she shared about it on Gentle Christian Mothers. I encourage you to go read about it as it is very encouraging.

While we’re on the subject, here is more from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

 

Gentle Parenting Older Children

Jeri, of Gentle Christian Mothers, shares about how Gentle Parenting is working now that her children are older.

Punishment Works?

Claire, over at Dare To Disciple, continues with her Myth Busting series with Punishment Works.

Teach Your Babies Well

The following was originally posted in thread on Gentle Christian Mothers called, “…And I’m the Strict One!“and is a follow up to my previous post, Teach Your Children Well.

At 4 months, what you want to be doing is starting the phase of ‘discipline’ that I call “show and tell” — it’s not a phase where you expect the baby to *do* anything at all. I mean that! And I know it doesn’t make sense to say “start discipline” and “the baby doesn’t do anything” when you are coming from a punitive mindset.

What “show and tell” means is that you are building the vocabulary for whatever you want him/her to be able to do without thinking twice once s/he is a toddler. You build vocabulary by saying a word and simultaneously doing that thing to the baby.

For example, when you say “Up” as you pick a baby up, that’s ‘show and tell’ — but of course, “Up” is not an instruction you want your toddler to follow later, so it’s not a good example of how ‘show and tell’ is a good start to good discipline. It’s just an example of the way that people naturally know that ‘show and tell’ is how you teach stuff to babies. It’s how they learn. That’s why it’s the method you choose when you teach everything, including when you teach the vocabulary you want them to grasp for following instructions. It’s a game. It’s no big deal.

At this stage you have TONS of time. Start by thinking and trying out what words you plan to use as your primary ‘words of instruction’. Once you’ve got them figured out, you need to *stop* using them as ordinary parts of chit-chat and *only* use them when you are going to be ‘show and tell’-ing. Your instruction words should be short and sweet. When possible, they should say what ‘is happening / what to do’ instead of ‘what not to do’. Try not to start with more than 6 to 10 instruction words. Select them carefully and always use them identically. (Many of these instruction words are going to sound like [Read more...]

Looking at Grace

I would like to share 2 things with you about grace.

The first is a post from Gentle Christian Mothers and is an example of one of the reasons a Christian mom decided to not to spank.  You can see more reasons in the rest of that thread.

The other thing I found on Facebook: (scroll down for comments)

I think I would change “Repentant or Not” into “Saved or Not” but I still feel that this gives a good explanation of the difference between Religion and the Gospel.  It is also a good explanation of the difference between the Law and Grace.

And as my friend, Rachel Sullivan-Nightengale, said,

Likewise God directs us to discipline our children–NOT threatening or punishing, which result at best in fear-induced outward compliance–but instead discipling them, gently teaching and helping them learn to do what’s right out of love for God.

We strive to imitate the way our Heavenly Father disciplines us, even as adults. He doesn’t punish us–Jesus took our punishment in full. He does guide us with loving patience at our slowness to learn, time after time.

Praise God for His abundant GRACE! May He help us mirror His grace toward our children.

Teach Your Children Well

The following was originally posted in thread on Gentle Christian Mothers called, “…And I’m the Strict One!“.

Well, ladies, do you know what’s a show-stopper in a nicely chatting group of Christian Mommies?

It’s when the strictest parent there casually mentions that she doesn’t spank. Here’s the circle of my friends and acquaintances when I mentioned it:  :-o  8-O   :-?

Friend 1:  :-o  “You don’t???”
Me: “Yeah, I used to, but I haven’t in a long time.”
Friend 2:   8-O “Really?”
Me: “I try not to do anything harsh at all, really.”
Friend 1: “Well… but… your kids are angels.”
Friend 2: “Some kids just don’t need it.”
Friend 1: “Yeah, I had one that spanking didn’t work for.”
Friend 2 to 1: “It’s not the right tool for every child.”
Friend 1 to me: “You can leave if you want to, if you think it’s cruel.”
Me: “No, I just think it’s unnecessary.”
Friend 2: “Well… you’ve got angels.”

Conversation continues on which kids “need” it, with lots of “funny” stories. Apparently, their various children’s persistent poor habits means the Mom should do more of what they are already doing (spanking), but the consistent excellence of my children has nothing to do with my methods: they were born that way.

Do these people really believe random selection gave me two angels, that I never had to really parent ‘the hard way’ — while they received an assortment of challenges my methods could never meet? I should extra-respect them for raising more difficult children, beyond my scope of experience? Even if they “have to” hit these challenging children, and even if hitting them isn’t showing any benefits!

(someone asks me to clarify what I mean by “strict.”)

Ok, here’s another tidbit of reality then: my husband is often unwell, and, with rare exceptions, that makes me the only “responsible adult” in my family. That means that, since I can’t handle (much) chaos, I can’t allow it.

I have lines of painters tape on my floor outlining “kitchen” in my open-plan home. Children don’t cross those lines when I am cooking. They haven’t for years. If my daughter woke up this morning to find painters tape barring them from exiting their own bedrooms, they would, I am dead sure, stand there and call me, “Mama? Why us this here? Mama, can I cross the tape? Mama, I need to go potty!” [Read more...]

Making Sure They Learn Their Lesson

I really believe that most parents get no pleasure out of spanking their children and do so only so that they will “learn their lesson.”  But what does spanking children really teach them?  I have seen many testimonies of adults who were spanked as children who did not learn what their parents meant to teach them.  Some of those testimonies can be found in this discussion at Gentle Christian Mothers.  But wait.  Can a child really learn without corporal punishment?  Here is a memory from David H.  Roper who learned a very important lesson without being spanked or even yelled at.  After reading both the discussion and the devotional, take a while to reflect on this question:  would he have learned the same lesson if the person who heard him say that word had spanked him, yelled at him and/or washed his mouth out with soap?

Dara Stoltzfus has a post about this same topic regarding The Lion King.

Thoughts Of A Gentle Christian Mother

Alison Strobel shares how and why she became a Gentle Christian Mother and how it has improved her life.

Christianity Today Article on Corporal Punishment

Christianity Today Magazine has an article about Corporal Punishment in their January 2012 Issue which you might want to purchase.  When and if they post it online, I will post a link to it.  This article mentions Hana Alemu “Williams”,  Lydia Schatz and Sean Paddock and the influence of To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl.  It then goes on to discuss the spanking controversy and Professor William Webb’s book, Corporal Punishment In The Bible.

There is a discussion of the article on the Gentle Christian Mothers forum which contains a small quote.

Update:  It has been posted here.

Giving Thanks

As you probably know, today is the day set aside in the United States for giving thanks to God.  Therefore, I would like to devote today’s post to doing just that.

First of all, I am very thankful to God for my life and my salvation which  He has given me  instead of what I deserved.

I am also thankful for my family, friends and church.

I am thankful for Gentle Christian Mothers for teaching me a more healthy way of thinking and for the fellowship there.  If it were not for Gentle Christian Mothers, this blog would not exist.

I am thankful for Rebecca who convinced me to allow her to make this blog for me.  Without her this blog would still be nothing but a webpage.

I am thankful for my writers and for all the bloggers to whom I have linked, without them this blog would be small indeed.

And, of course, I am thankful for my readers, without them there would be no purpose for this blog.

All the glory to God.

Why Blame The Pearls At All? – Part 2

Yesterday I looked at the question of what the Pearls’ teachings had to do with the death of Lydia Schatz. Today I will look at the deaths of Sean Paddock and Hana Williams.  Lydia died as a direct result of her parents  following the Pearls’ teachings, but that was not the case with Sean and Hana.

So, how does the death of Hana Williams relate to the Pearls’ teachings? It has been confirmed that her parents were following the Pearls’ teachings by someone who has emailed me anonymously. I have also seen a quote from an email list which then got posted (without permission as far as I can tell) on a message board. I then saw it in the comments here and here.  This person confirmed that the family were following the Pearls’ teachings as well.  S/he also gave some clues that I find interesting.

The Pearls do not teach that parents should leave their children outside all night.  The only real problem is that they teach that parents must always win, as I explained yesterday.  Of course, the Williams were way out of line in making Hana sleep outside without so much as a sleeping bag.  Why would they do that?  I can only speculate.  It is commonly reported that Hana had suffered a significant weight loss (I read 30 pounds somewhere).  The comments mention that she was refusing to eat and then stealing food.  That is a very odd accusation.  If you want your child to eat, why would they have to steal food from you?  How could they steal food from their own parents?  Isn’t all the food everyone’s?

Here is a quote from Michael Pearl’s Article, The Angry Child:

If he doesn’t like what is on the table and he is rude, send him away from the table and do not let him eat until the next meal. Do not feed him snacks between meals, and let him get good and hungry. He will then eat baby food spinach and love it.

Now, I can only speculate, I have no proof that is what they were doing. She could have had Anorexia or some other eating issue due to RAD which caused her to refuse to eat. (Edited to clarify: when I wrote this it was speculations before the trial. Now that the trial is over, I can clearly state that there is absolutely NO reason to suspect any kind of eating disorder or RAD whatsoever.)

But, IF they were withholding food to make her eat what they wanted her to and she was stealing food in the night, they would probably end up locking up the food.  If she were somehow managing to get it anyway, and IF it were true that she was peeing on the rug, it might make sense for someone who has been pushed over the edge to make her stay outside.

Another interesting and possibly pertinent quote is found on the No Greater Joy website and is from the article, Rodless Training

“There will be times when a spanking is appropriate. But you are prevented! Then use your power as the caretaker and dispenser of all privileges and responsibilities to make his actions totally counterproductive. If you can’t spank the flesh, starve it with an embargo. Stand your ground and do not let the little fellow find satisfaction in his pursuits. Stay on duty, demanding obedience until he surrenders his will to your persistence. If there is a way to deny him access to some means of indulgence that relates to the offense, then by all means as governor of the island on which he lives deny him normal privileges until he complies.”

So, this is what I’m seeing.  A family who was in way over their head, dealing with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and trying to make the Pearls’ teachings work in a situation for which they were not designed.  My thoughts are that they lost control of reality.  They needed help and did not seek it.  It’s a real tragedy.  They probably didn’t think that it was cold enough outside to kill her.  But with her body weakened by lack of food, she succumbed. (Edited to add now that the trial is over: there is no reason to suspect RAD whatsoever.)

I do not know much about the death of Sean Paddock. All I know is that he was wrapped tightly in order to keep him in his bed and he suffocated. Again, the Pearls do not teach parents to do that. His mother might have been trying so hard to win that she did not consider the consequences of her actions, but I can’t really blame the Pearls’ teachings directly for his death.

So far, all 3 cases of children dying at the hands of followers of the Pearls’ methods have been adopted.  It is apparent that these teachings are particularly dangerous when applied on adopted children.   It is very important that the organizations which oversee adoptions are made aware of this connection.

Update: April 6, 2012

I have recently learned of the teachings of Nancy Campbell of, Above Rubies, regarding using international  adoptions as a way to “rescue” the heathen children and “evangelize” them.  I learned this in a public thread on  Gentle Christian Mothers (starting with post 9).  Of course, I can’t know for sure, but IF the Williams were influenced by this mindset, it would explain a lot.

Update: Sept 9, 2013

I have learned during the trial that everything was fine with Hana until about a year after the adoption when she went through puberty.  Apparently she got a drop of blood on the toilet seat according to some, yet Carri claims that she was smearing her pad on the walls.  At that time, they started describing her as “opositional” and “rebellious.” It would appear that Carri got unreasonably strict and/or she started standing up for herself. That was when things started going very bad. Witnesses claim that Carri said that she was expecting a little girl and they sent her a woman. Carri has also been described as a germophobe and Hana was a carrier of Hepatitis B which obviously scared Carri.

Please see my follow up post on the Williams Trial here.

One Mom’s Look at “Shepherding A Child’s Heart”

Thatmom has re-posted Anne Sokol’s book review of Ted Tripp’s book, Shepherding A Child’s Heart.  I’m so glad she did because I missed it the first time.

Speaking of which, here is another review of that book from MarynMunchkins on GCM.

Review of Shepherding A Child’s Heart

Gentle Christian Mothers reviews Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

This is the first in a series of posts highlighting the different procedures given by various Christian authors on the proper way to spank. I’m hoping to show that there isn’t a biblical way to spank, but that the views on so-called biblical spanking procedures are man-made and based on cultural assumptions and opinion

She warns her readers not to read on if a description of a spanking would upset them. Sensitive readers, take heed! The spanking described sounds a lot like a Roy Lessin spanking. :-( (Another link which sensitive readers will want to avoid.)

Also from Gentle Christian Mothers is Mary’s review of Shepherding A Child’s Heart.

Letters to Dobson

Discipleship Parenting wrote a Letter to Dr. James Dobson. It is a lovely letter, you should take a look at it. In it she gives a testimony of how his teaching on spanking hurt her family and how they found something better.

She got a reply from Focus on The Family defending their stance.

She then wrote another letter where she explained further how his teachings are damaging and dangerous.

She received another reply from Focus on the Family which reiterated what was said in the first letter.

I highly recommend that you read these letters.

Edited to add that  she has posted 2 addendums to her first letter to Dobson:
Addendum to “Grace”
Handling Disputes Biblically

No Spanking Zone

Rilla G. shares how she came to raise her child in a No Spanking Zone.

Rilla has generously given me permission to reprint this post below:

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This post was originally written and published in 2009 on an older and now inactive blog I published for a number of years.

I generally keep this blog “on topic” with regards to organic gardening, an eco-friendly lifestyle, recipes, etc, and don’t make a habit of talking about my faith much because it’s a very personal and often touchy topic. That said, lately I’ve felt very disturbed by how so many Christian parents are still parenting in the dark ages in regards to discipline. This is a topic that I’m feeling more and more passionate about all the time. I posted the following essay on my password protected private blog, but I feel it’s time to “go public” because it’s something that really needs to be said, especially within Christian communities, where spanking is still the norm. Anyways, without further ado, here’s what I need to say about gentle Christian discipline, otherwise known as the “no spanking zone”.

I was raised in a highly punitive home. Me and my siblings were spanked excessively as children and into our early teens. I knew I hated that feeling of constant dread when interacting with my parents, and I hated being unable to gain my mother’s approval most of my childhood.

Yet I never considered not spanking my own kids because I believed it was Biblical.

When my son was born I found a website forum called Gentle Christian Mothers and was shocked to discover there was a whole community of Christian parents who were taking a stand against spanking. It was a bit overwhelming at first, and I wanted to keep spanking as an option in case my child was just totally rebellious and needed a “good spanking” (talk about the worst oxymoron ever!). I quickly left the online community at that time because I felt offended by their firm stand against ALL physical punishment and felt they were not following the Biblical stance I was raised believing was true.

Of course I wasn’t spanking him when he was a baby, but once he hit 2, I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to spank him. It felt so wrong to consider hitting a small defenseless child who didn’t even speak English yet! In addition, it seemed so counter productive to hit my child when I didn’t like his behaviour, yet I was trying to teach him that hitting is wrong. Talk about crazy making.

I rejoined the GCM forum, and felt extremely validated the second time around.

Grace-Based Discipline is a model of discipline which, though it rejects the popular view that the rod references spankings, affirms the authority of parents as outlined in the Bible. Extending grace to our children is not permissiveness. We believe that parents are to set a high standard for behavior and children are to uphold that standard. Many gentle parents are prudent and selective about the type and number of rules they enforce. Many grace based parents enforce those rules using low coercion, cooperation, negotiation and compromise. However, GCM does not embrace the philosophy behind TCS (“Taking Children Seriously”) or non-coercive parenting. True, quality discipline combines knowledge of age appropriate behaviors, reasonable standards, clear expectations, proactive discipline and consistency. Grace is extended in a parent’s willingness to help their children meet that standard when needed and to forgive when the standard is missed. (GCM)

I learned about redirection, and the concept that kids who feel bad act bad. I was quite amazed when I realized, and saw in practice, that generally when a child is “misbehaving” there’s a root to the issue like hunger, fatigue, strange surroundings, illness, or other circumstances. When I addressed the root issue instead of the behaviour, the bad behaviour naturally disappeared in almost every case!

It’s such a simple concept, but I went from being completely frustrated with what I perceived to be out of control behaviour, to intuitively recognizing when my child was getting tired, sick, or hungry, and responding to that need instead of trying to treat the behavioural symptoms of these needs with discipline. This one lesson alone resolved most of our issues.

I also learned about age appropriate behaviour and normal child development. Behaviour that I had always believed was “bad” was actually part of normal child development, and with a little guidance and teaching, those behaviours could be transformed into an opportunity to guide and teach! Wow!

I found that parenting gently was a LOT more work than just punishing bad behaviour because it required I get off my butt and participate in parenting. Parenting is just another word for teaching in our home, and includes modeling the behaviour I want (no screaming, no hitting, speaking with respect, showing kindness, helping, loving, and affection). It required us acting the way we want our son to act! Novel idea…

I had to learn and practice speaking in a gentle but firm manner. If my child didn’t want to do something, it meant getting up and assisting him, showing him how it was done, and enforcing the behaviour I needed him to show. At first I thought it would nurture laziness in him, but I found the opposite was true. Using a firm kind tone of voice, combined with my willingness to help when a task was too overwhelming for him, actually served to make him more independent and nurtured a desire in my son to gain my approval by doing what he was told and it doing it well.

The more I practiced gentle parenting, the better I understood the grace that God extends to me as HIS child. God doesn’t berate me, he doesn’t yell at me when I fail, he doesn’t beat me when I make mistakes, he doesn’t punish me when I do something wrong. He works in a gentle loving manner that softens my heart and causes me to WANT to model HIS behaviour. When I’m unable to cope with a task, he steps in and helps me.

If God doesn’t use punitive methods to discipline me, an adult with free will, why would I use punitive methods on a developing growing child who is learning how to exercise their God-given free will in an appropriate manner?

God provides a model of grace-based discipline that we can reflect in the way we parent. His character is love. When we raise our children with grace and love, they respond in kind. My son is a typical 5 year old. He gets carried away sometimes, and pushes his boundaries. When I speak to him with respect and teach him how to be respectful and honor boundaries he responds positively and with a desire to please.

Think about this. If a family came to visit, and was staying in your home, and the wife hit the husband, or the husband hit the wife, every time the other did something wrong, wouldn’t you classify that as classic abuse? Wouldn’t you feel obligated to step in and intervene? Possibly even call the authorities? If that is so… How is it any less abuse to hit a small child when they do something wrong in the name of discipline? Why aren’t we intervening more when adult parents are hitting their child?

Canada’s Laws on Spanking

http://www.parl.gc.ca/content/LOP/ResearchPublications/prb0510-e.htm

http://www.cbc.ca/news/story/2004/01/30/spanking040130.html

In its decision Friday, the court ruled that reasonable corrective force can be used against children between the ages of two and 12 years old.

The court said it was unacceptable to hit a child with an object, like a belt or paddle. Blows and slaps to the child’s head would also be unacceptable.

For corporal punishment to be legally acceptable, it must involve only “minor corrective force of a transitory and trifling nature,” the court ruled.

http://www.canadiancrc.com/Child_Abuse/Supreme_Court_Case_Spanking.aspx

I won’t be addressing the Biblical Questions because it has already all been said so much better at Arms of Love by Crystal Lutton. If you want a really great parenting resource, her book Biblical Parenting is one I would highly recommend.

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My Experiences With Spanking

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” -Prov 22:15

This Bible verse and the idea that it refers to a literal rod encompassed most of my mother’s parenting philosophy. How to Be the Parents of Happy and Obedient Children by Roy Lessin strongly influenced her interpretation and application of this verse. One of the messages of Lessin’s book is that a child’s salvation depends on frequent and hearty spankings. My mother was passionate about obeying what she believed God wanted.  She didn’t raise her voice at me or spank me  “in anger.” However, I was spanked on the legs with a dowel rod for every infraction, including refusing to hug her after a spanking.  No “disrespect” was tolerated. This meant I had very little avenue for the expression of negative emotions except stuffing them down. This suppression of emotion back-fired when I became violent towards other children as a preteen. Later when as a teenager I learned to refrain from violence toward others I began to turn the violence towards myself. I had hysterical episodes where I would violently hit myself and destroy any possession I cared about that was breakable. As an adult I still struggle with feelings of self-hatred.

Throughout my childhood there was an emphasis on perfection. The burden of proving the effectiveness of my mother’s parenting fell directly on my shoulders. When people would comment on how well behaved I was she would often respond, “That’s what spanking will do!” Sometimes she would add an anecdote to show how stubborn I had once been and how spanking worked even for children as strong-willed as I. She often said she spanked me because she loved me and that it was really sad some children’s parents didn’t love them enough to spank them so they could be better people. Because of comments like this I believed I had an idyllic childhood and a mother worthy of sainthood. I thought the depression which haunted me was all my own fault for not being cheerful and content enough. When I had children not only did my depression become worse but now my children shared the results of my miserable negativity. I didn’t want to spank them but I had been trained that if I didn’t I was disobeying God and I didn’t love them. I did not spank as early or as often as I had been spanked but I felt horrible inside when I did spank. I found myself becoming unreasonably angry with my children when they disobeyed because I dreaded “having” to give them a spanking. Finally one day I faced God with an open heart and I told Him I found it hard to believe that a loving God would require a mother to deliberately cause pain to her small child. I asked Him to show me His true plan for parenting, whatever it might be. That very day I saw my daughter giving one of her baby dolls a spanking. She whacked it indiscriminately all over. Suddenly I saw my parenting through a child’s eyes and I was shocked and horrified. I began researching the so-called spanking scriptures and I was led to Gentle Christian Mothers where I finally found help for a different way of parenting. When I realized the rod was one of guidance, discipleship and example, I began to cry. It was as if a huge burden had been lifted from me. I haven’t spanked my children since that day. We still have a ways to go in healing our relationship but we have already come so far. It has amazed me how much I learn about them and how much more I can help them when I take the time to look for the why of their behavior instead of masking the problem with a spanking.

The transition from punitive to gentle parenting has been difficult. When I stopped spanking my children their repressed emotion began to come out. For a time it seemed as if they were always angry and I had to remind myself they had a lot to be angry about. I have had to learn new ways to help them deal with emotion and new ways of setting boundaries in a kind but firm manner. In short, I’ve had to re-parent myself and my children all at once. Things have gradually gotten better as I’ve learned from gentle mothers who are wiser and more experienced than I. It has taken a lot of prayer and a lot of hard work. Recently I saw something that made it all worth while. My daughter was playing with her baby doll and she pretended it was trying to hit her. Instead of hitting it as she once would have done she sweetly said, “No, no, be kind,” and gently restrained it with a hug. I could finally look into the mirror of her innocence and not shudder.

People often use the argument that spanking doesn’t work. I haven’t found that to be true. Consistent spanking does work in the short term if your goal is a smiling little copy of yourself who does everything you say and who doesn’t know how to say no to anyone who plays the authority card. Long term, it leads to depression, anger, fear, lack of personal boundaries, and if healing is not sought, violence.

Some of these things have been painful to share but I want to help people see the dark side of the spanking fairy tale. There is no magic formula for parenting. It’s about love, persistence, empathy, boundaries and admitting mistakes.

If you are considering raising your children with spankings and punitive parenting please look into their little eyes and commit to breaking the cycle of violence. If you were raised this way, please get help and healing so that you don’t pass on the violence to others. Thank God, in His love there is a more excellent way.

Gluesticks

Sometimes I hear confusion about the idea of using  gluesticks for spanking.  This does not mean the little 3 inch gluesticks, it means the 12 inch ones.  For more about spanking and gluesticks, please see Gangbangers and Gluesticks.

To Control a Child

Cultured Mama has written some very good arguments against the manipulative and dangerous teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl in To Control a Child. She also warns against Ezzo and Babywise and gives a lot of links for further research.

MN from Michigan’s Testimony

The first time I met someone who trained their child like Michael and Debi Pearl recommend my first child was around 6 to 9 months old. This older mother invited me to her house for a “Moms’ group”. We would sit for a couple of hours in her living room and, while we talked or listened to a tape on discipline, the children were to sit perfectly still and not talk unless they had quietly tapped Mama & gotten her attention. The first time I wasn’t sure I liked what was going on. Smacking babies’ thighs seemed harsh and it made me cry the first time I trained him to sit still. At home, though, my mobile baby had been, well, acting his age, and it was very frustrating at times, and these moms seemed to have such happy quiet kids. I went back. The Pearls hadn’t actually written their book yet at this point, but when they did, this friend gave me a copy.

[Read more...]