Jesus, The Gentle Parent by L.R. Knost

L.R. Knost’s new book, Jesus, The Gentle Parent is now available at Amazon.com.

Here is information about the book from her webpage, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources.

I’m hearing good things about this book and will post book reviews as I find them.

eta:  More info here.

Preparing Young Children for Eating Out

Gentle Mother, Megbar, took her preschoolers out to dinner for the first time the other night.  Wanting to make it a pleasant experience, she prepared them by explaining to them what they should expect and what she expected of them.  The dinner went so well that she shared about it on Gentle Christian Mothers. I encourage you to go read about it as it is very encouraging.

While we’re on the subject, here is more from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

 

New Gentle Parenting Blog

There is a brand new blog called, Grace For My Sheep. Her latest post looks at a human’s inherent need for Jesus and how that relates to gentle parenting. Lovely!

While we’re on the subject of Gentle Parenting, here is a very helpful post from Hippie Housewife called, Ten alternatives To Time Outs.  The more tools we have in our toolbox, the better.

Getting Rid Of Weeds

Dara Stoltzfus compares bad behavior in our children to Weeds in a Garden and comes up with some interesting allegories.

This is a little off topic, but I just came across a news story about a family who noticed their very gentle dog acting aggressively towards the baby sitter. They left a device under the couch to record and found out the awful truth.  I post this as a reminder to never dismiss strange behavior in animals or children.  When a small child or trusted pet suddenly shows explainable fear or aggression towards someone, take it as a red flag and investigate.

Consequences and Examples

Dara Stoltzfus discusses the influence we have on our children in What Do Your Kids See You Doing?

While you’re at Dara’s blog, you will also want to read, her very thought provoking post, Kids need consequences to learn right from wrong, don’t they?! in which she considers two possible responses to a child stealing and considers which would teach the child more.

Babies, Children and Sin Nature

Stephanie just started a new blog called The Shepherd’s Apprentice.

In her first post, she explains about the sin nature of babies and children and how we should respond to it.

She then posts about Selfish Babies or rather, if there is such a thing.

She ties it up with a look at Sin, How To Get What You Want.

Not bad for her first day.  😉

When Gentle Discipline Fails

Dulce de Leche looks at how Gentle Discipline Failed Her. Or did it?

Along similar lines, MamaPsalmist considers the Gift of a Willful Child.

And Dara Stoltzfus continues her look at how she was spanked and did NOT turn out OK.

More Fruits of Gentle Discipline

Dara Stoltzfus shares more fruits of  gentle parenting.  This fruit says that You’re Not a Failure.

Also, consider her post about Being punished for venting.

Punishment Works?

Claire, over at Dare To Disciple, continues with her Myth Busting series with Punishment Works.

When a Toddler Won’t Obey

The Hippie Housewife shares 3 Ways to Respond to a Toddler Who Won’t Listen.

Raising Children to Not Accept Abuse

Dara Stoltzfus shows us how we can raise children to not see abusive behavior as normal in Wives With Knives.

Dara Stolzfus has many other excellent posts. I have already linked to many of them. I must now link to this post about Consequences and how we react when we mess up.

While I’m at it, I will also link to another interesting post called Looking Up.

It’s Not Always Easy

Carissa Robinson shares that Gentle Parenting is not always a bed of roses and how to get through the hard times in Bumbling Along.

An Exampling of Parenting by Jesus

Dulce de Leche hosts a post by Samuel Martin on the topic of How Jesus Would Parent,  in which we look at an example of Jesus using Gentle Parenting.

Raising a Spoiled Brat?

Rebecca Diamond explains why she is not worried about raising a spoiled brat in He’s A Spoiled Brat – And I’m Proud Of It!

The Fruit of Gentle Discipline

Molly shares a beautiful story about the fruit her gently parented 3 yr old is already displaying in A Soft Answer…

More about Teaching

The Hippie Housewife explains the Basics of Gentle Discipline, focusing on Teaching Skills which makes a great follow up to yesterday’s post on Teaching Babies. She offers skills to prepare babies and children for the future.  As she explains:

These future-oriented solutions provide the child with skills that will be used throughout and beyond childhood. The focus is on developing the child’s own internal control rather than on managing behaviour through external control, thereby assisting the child in navigating life in a way that keeps their dignity intact.

She also links to some very helpful posts to provide background which I also recommend and have linked to in the past.

Note that this post is part of the 2012 Carnival of Gentle Discipline which you can find at the bottom of the post.

Safe Place

The Hippie Housewife reminds us of the important place we hold in our children’s lives in this beautiful and thought provoking poem. <3

And in a similar vein, Dulce de Leche discusses helping our children feel safe to express their sadness.

Thou Shalt Not Kill The Spirit of Thy Children

Dulce de Leche continues her 10 Commandments for Parents series with Thou Shalt Not Kill. In this post she discusses how parents often kill pieces of their children’s individuality.

Also, take note of this post by Sara Mae which looks at The Nature of A Child and why we should respond to their tantrums with grace.

Teach Your Children Well

The following was originally posted in thread on Gentle Christian Mothers called, “…And I’m the Strict One!“.

Well, ladies, do you know what’s a show-stopper in a nicely chatting group of Christian Mommies?

It’s when the strictest parent there casually mentions that she doesn’t spank. Here’s the circle of my friends and acquaintances when I mentioned it:  😮  😯   😕

Friend 1:  😮  “You don’t???”
Me: “Yeah, I used to, but I haven’t in a long time.”
Friend 2:   😯 “Really?”
Me: “I try not to do anything harsh at all, really.”
Friend 1: “Well… but… your kids are angels.”
Friend 2: “Some kids just don’t need it.”
Friend 1: “Yeah, I had one that spanking didn’t work for.”
Friend 2 to 1: “It’s not the right tool for every child.”
Friend 1 to me: “You can leave if you want to, if you think it’s cruel.”
Me: “No, I just think it’s unnecessary.”
Friend 2: “Well… you’ve got angels.”

Conversation continues on which kids “need” it, with lots of “funny” stories. Apparently, their various children’s persistent poor habits means the Mom should do more of what they are already doing (spanking), but the consistent excellence of my children has nothing to do with my methods: they were born that way.

Do these people really believe random selection gave me two angels, that I never had to really parent ‘the hard way’ — while they received an assortment of challenges my methods could never meet? I should extra-respect them for raising more difficult children, beyond my scope of experience? Even if they “have to” hit these challenging children, and even if hitting them isn’t showing any benefits!

(someone asks me to clarify what I mean by “strict.”)

Ok, here’s another tidbit of reality then: my husband is often unwell, and, with rare exceptions, that makes me the only “responsible adult” in my family. That means that, since I can’t handle (much) chaos, I can’t allow it.

I have lines of painters tape on my floor outlining “kitchen” in my open-plan home. Children don’t cross those lines when I am cooking. They haven’t for years. If my daughter woke up this morning to find painters tape barring them from exiting their own bedrooms, they would, I am dead sure, stand there and call me, “Mama? Why us this here? Mama, can I cross the tape? Mama, I need to go potty!” [Read more…]

Making Sure They Learn Their Lesson

I really believe that most parents get no pleasure out of spanking their children and do so only so that they will “learn their lesson.”  But what does spanking children really teach them?  I have seen many testimonies of adults who were spanked as children who did not learn what their parents meant to teach them.  Some of those testimonies can be found in this discussion at Gentle Christian Mothers.  But wait.  Can a child really learn without corporal punishment?  Here is a memory from David H.  Roper who learned a very important lesson without being spanked or even yelled at.  After reading both the discussion and the devotional, take a while to reflect on this question:  would he have learned the same lesson if the person who heard him say that word had spanked him, yelled at him and/or washed his mouth out with soap?

Dara Stoltzfus has a post about this same topic regarding The Lion King.

Trusting Enough To Let Go

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with Letting Go.

A Typical Gentle Day

The Hippie Housewife shares A day in the life of a gentle mother.

A Closer Look at Obedience

Molly, from Adventures in Discipline, takes a closer look at Obedience.

Your Attitude Towards Your Children

Rach at the Incorrigible Gingers discusses how labeling children can be harmful in My Toddler Is Not Bad.

On a similar note Aubry, of My Offerings, discusses healthy and unhealthy attitudes towards children in Why Potty Training Changed My Life.

And Dulce de Leche continues with her 10 Commandments for Parents series with Honor Your Father and Your Mother in which she also discusses the difference between obedience and compliance.

Looking Back It All Went By So Fast…

Vita Mutari looks back at 17 years of being a mother and shares her reflections and advice for new moms in, Left to cry…alone.

Is Your Parenting Based on Fear or Faith?

Carissa Robinson compares Fear-Based and Faith-Based Parenting.  Which one one do you think glorifies God?  Which one do you use?

For more help, check out this post by Pearl in Oyster (PIO) about how we can use our God-given hormones to help us parent better in Oxytocin and “Time In.”

Discipline without Harm Part 1

In this series we will be looking at how to biblically discipline our children without inflicting pain on them or harming them in any way.  Some of the discipline strategies that we will be discussing throughout this series are modeling, child-proofing, validating feelings, fulfilling the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting realistic limits and boundaries, helping children comply, giving choices, and using natural and logical consequences with children.  The Bible says that we are to encourage each other (2 Corinthians 13:11).  All of the discipline strategies in this series do exactly that with our children.  In this first piece, we will be discussing authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting.  We will also discuss how to child-proof, modeling, and introducing God to our children.

Authoritative versus Permissive Parenting—Not Spanking does NOT Mean Wild, Rebellious Children

Pro-spankers often accuse or claim that parents who do not spank or use any type of punishment with their children of having wild and rebellious children.  This simply is not the case for parents that use the authoritative parenting style.  There seems to be much confusion over the three types of parenting styles.  We discussed the authoritarian parenting style in great detail in Part 6 of my series, “The Effects of Spanking,” which you will find in my new book, “Gentle Firmness.” As we begin to focus on how to gently but firmly discipline children, we need to examine the other two parenting styles: authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. [Read more…]

Avoiding Adversarial Parenting

Molly explains Adversarial parenting and how to avoid it in What punitive is apart from spanking….

Testing The Waters of Gentle Parenting

Aubry Grace posts an update of how her change to Gentle Parenting is going in Grace Parenting: 6 Months Later.

More Gentle Parenting Tools

Dulce de Leche continues her Opening Up The Gentle Discipline Toolbox Series with Opening Up the GD Toolbox: Redirection and Mutual Solutions and Connection.

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) discusses why we should watch out for Pampering.