Gentle Discipline

I have had so much to share lately that my Gentle Parenting links have been piling up.

Carissa Robinson describes Genuine Obedience.

Dulce De Leche explains about Gentle Parenting, that It’s a Lifestyle, Not an Event.

Claire continues her Myth Busting series with Myth Busting 6: “I could see it in her eyes”.

Greengem reminds us to keep Playful Parenting in our toolbox in My other car is a pterodactyl…

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) continues with her 52 Tool Cards series with  52 Tool Cards: Motivation and 52 Tool Cards: Follow Through.

Exposing False Teachings

I just found an interesting site, Midwest Christian Outreach devoted to  exposing false teachings.

They have an article about Bill Gothard and ATIdentity.

More on Bill Gothard

Vision Forum and Patriarchy

Speaking of Bill Gothard, some of my newer readers might have missed Greenegem’s post about Scriptural Tofurkey.

Gentle Parenting In Action

Libby Anne has a very interesting blog post about how being raised by the Pearls’ teachings affects her efforts to gently parent her daughter in Parenting Is Not A Contest.

For more examples of Gentle Parenting, check out Pearl in Oyster’s (PIO’s) play by play of one whole day day:

A Day in the Life, Part 1 – Morning Routine

A Day in the Life, Part 2 – getting out the door and running a few errands.

A Day in the Life, Part 3 – Library and Lunch

A Day in the Life, Part 4-The Rest of our Day

And allow  Greenegem to show you what Guiding with a rod looks like.

Discipleship and Autism

Greenegem shared about how she had to go to the hospital and how her son was diagnosed with autism back in July in Life: Where the Rubber Meets the Road. Now, almost 3 weeks later, she processes about her 2nd hospital stay and how it affected her 2 young sons in Adhesive: Life part 2.  In this post she also reflects more on her eldest son’s diagnosis of autism and how spanking would never have worked on him.  She shares some very important ideas here because much damage can be done by well meaning parents who believe that a child’s will must  be dominated.

Pondering Gentle Parenting

Greenegem from Dare to Disciple ponders hidden reasons for non-compliance in Kick a Man When He’s Down.

Meanwhile, Pearl in Oyster (PIO) looks at Comfort Corners in 52 Tool Cards: Positive Time-Out

More About What Gentle Parenting Is

Greenegem from Dare To Disciple explains what being a Gentle Christian Mamma looks like in It’s Really Quite Simple…

Meanwhile, on the same blog, Lucy explains that when it comes to parenting, One Size Does Not Fit All.

Damaging Effects of Punishment on Children

GreeneGem explains the damage  which was done to her by her mothers trampling on her Boundaries.

Speaking of damage, did you know that when babies are left to cry it out, their little bodies are being flooded with Cortisol?   Discipleship Parenting looks at what  effect that has on them.

Meanwhile Pearl, from An Apprenticeship in the Art of Gentle Discipline, looks at the Spiritual Discipline of Parenting to Sleep.

Writing to Dad About Discipline

GreeneGem has written a 4 part piece her about father’s written attack on her decision not to spank, her written defense and the conversation which ensued.

  • Nothing to Write Home about…
  • Writing Home… part one
  • Writing Home… part two
  • Writing Home… part three
  • Scriptural Tofurkey

    GreenGem at Dare to Disciple explains what Scriptural Tofurkey is in this very interesting and thought provoking analogy.

    Sharing Life With Your Children

    GreenGem has an interesting post about her Wonderful Life. In this post she explains why she allows her young sons to jump on the couch and run around the house. She also explains how she does housework with her sons, including cooking and cleaning. Children learn a lot from such activities. I wish I had had the patience to allow my young sons to help me with the housework more often when they were young.  This post also contains a very important message about control.  Just in case someone should read my words without reading hers, I want to share this Gem:

    Controlled kids become easily controlled adults, not self controlled adults.

    My Thoughts on Submission

    Ever since my good friend, GreenGem, posted her Thoughts On Leadership I have been pondering my own thoughts on submission. When someone actually emailed me to ask me whether I believed in Wife Only Submission (WOS) or Mutual Submission (MS) I pondered even harder.  Now I am feeling led to solidify my thoughts.

    MS starts with Eph 5:21 which says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”  WOS starts with Eph 5:22-24 which says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.” (Note that the words in brackets are not in the original Greek but were added by the translators.) Crystal Lutton has very good explanations of what the word, “submit” means, and what the word, “head” means.  You might also  want to read this explanation for more information.  I’m very thankful for theses explanations because I knew that I did not agree with the patriarchy explanation which leads to so much abuse. I have seen many healthy marriages which claim to believe in WOS yet they are really following MS. This is not to say that a WOS marriage cannot be healthy, I just have not met any.

    Now, I’d like to note that both those verses are followed by Eph 5:25 which says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”  It occurs to me that I have never seen anyone teaching Husband Only Love (HOL.)  It seems obvious to everyone that the wife is still supposed to love her husband.  The fact that this passage tells the man to love  his wife and does not tell the woman to love her husband seems to suggest  if the man is loving his wife, she will naturally love him in return.  So, maybe if the wife is submitting to her husband’s will while he is loving her, his natural reaction is to want to please her and so will naturally submit his will to what she wants.  So, as they love each other and submit to each other, they work together to try to meet each other’s needs.  Which is exactly how I understand MS.

    Note, someone commented below that the Bible says that women should love their husbands in Titus 2:4.  I would like to point out that while Eph 5:25 uses the word agape (perfect and sacrificial love), Titus 2:4 uses a variation of phileo (brotherly/family love).  Also, the Bible teaches in many places that we should love everyone.

    The Danger Dilemma

    Many parents reserve spankings for life or death situations.  Is there really any value in that?  Will spanking really protect children from danger?  GreeneGem answers that question in The Danger Dilemma.

    Grace Based Discipline and the Oppositional Child

    Recently I posted a link to what Gentle Discipline is not, today we will look at Gentle Discipline is. GreeneGem has written a very useful post about Grace Based Discipline and the Oppositional Child. You will certainly want to read this post because she gives very clear and detailed examples as well as explaining what Grace Based Discipline is and why she uses it.

    Regarding Punishments

    Barefoot Betsy shares a letter explaining why she does not believe in spanking in Regarding Punishments over at Dare To Disciple.

    Also, I have not yet mentioned Greenegem’s post about Shame, The Legacy Of Punishment on the same blog.

    Tools for the empty toolbox

    GreenGem has posted part 3 of her journey towards grace wherein she shares where she found the tools to replace spanking.

    Boundries

    Don’t miss GreenGem’s latest post where she explains boundaries. While you’re there, also check out her previous post, Nice to meet you…Einstein! where she explains how children learn to do things themselves.

    Really, you should subscribe to this blog’s RSS feed, because each post is a invaluable explanation of how spanking and punitive parenting damage our children and contribute to an adversarial relationship with them. Understanding how children think and reason is the first step to cultivating a positive relationship with them. We want to raise children who will eventually think for themselves. Anger and resentment will only lead to rebellion later in life. I cannot recommend this blog highly enough.

    Entrapment

    Do you ever entrap your children?  Read this blog entry from Dare to Disciple to learn more about entrapment.  Failure to heed this warning may lead to developing an adversarial relationship with your children.

    Approximation of Behavior

    I feel that I should explain why I haven’t been posting lately.  I try not to say anything unless I have something to say. I continue to search daily and post when I find something of interest.

    While you’re waiting, please go back and check out my old posts. My oldest posts have many good links so this should keep you busy for a long time. If you find any broken links, please let me know. (I am aware that many of the news stories are no longer available for free and have an alternate link posted on that page. I leave the non-working links up just in case anyone should ever want to purchase it. Future news stories will be pasted in, I have learned my lesson.)

    Now, this blog is principally about the Pearls’ teachings, but ever since I began it, I have have also offered arguments against alternatives to corporal punishment. This brings me to today’s link:

    GreeneGem has a very interesting post about Approximation of Behavior which explains why children should not be spanked for making messes when trying out new skills.