Christian arguments against the Pearls' teachings.
Dara Stoltzfus shares another story which explains how she was Spanked and Did Not Turn Out Okay.
On a side-note, here is a pamphlet which discusses more ways in which spanked children may not turn out ok. This site also has quite a bit of stuff in Spanish.
Dara Stoltzfus asks those who were spanked if they are really okay. Her questions are sure food for thought.
She also looks at how children develop trust that God hears us. The answer might surprise you.
Dara Stoltzfus reflects on how punitive parenting has affected her inner being in I was spanked and I’m NOT OK: Why and what I do.
And just for fun, the Honest Toddler explains why it is futile to force your toddler to apologize. I know that this is meant to be funny, but there is an underlying element of truth to this and something to consider. Here is more of the Toddler’s Eye View on life.
Dara Stoltzfus has been thinking about Euphemisms as she gives us 20 Reasons not to Spank.
And for more food for thought from Dara, check out her thoughts on Abortion: A private matter?
Dulce de Leche looks at how Gentle Discipline Failed Her. Or did it?
Along similar lines, MamaPsalmist considers the Gift of a Willful Child.
And Dara Stoltzfus continues her look at how she was spanked and did NOT turn out OK.
Dara Stoltzfus shares her testimony of growing up being spanked for every infraction in “I was spanked and I’m OK!” FEAR..
Sarah, of Under the Olive Branch, explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small. She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
In the last part of this series we saw how teaching children to equate love with pain can cause them to become sadomasochistic. We also saw how spanking children, even when done “lovingly” and the “right way,” causes many children to struggle with depression, guilt, and shame as having pain intentionally inflicted on them by their parents never makes them feel positive about themselves. In this concluding piece of this series, we will see how spanking keeps the vicious cycle of abuse and authoritarian parenting going for generations unless one fights against it. New research shows that children that are physically punished/abused can develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome as they deny and repress their pain. Also, I will be showing that intentionally inflicting pain on children causes brain damage as the brain gets rewired due to experiencing pain and trauma throughout childhood. Many parents do not realize how vulnerable the young, developing brain is. Finally, I will be explaining the Scientific Method of conducting research in order to disprove the claim of a great deal of pro-spankers that all the research proving spanking is harmful is somehow biased. I hope this series further proves that spanking did not come from God otherwise none of these harmful effects would ever occur.
The Cycle of Abuse and Authoritarian Parenting—“My parents spanked me and I survived and so will my children!”
[Read more...]
In the last piece I discussed one of the major effects of spanking, which is denial. We also looked at repression and the continuum of violence against children. If a swat or light slap on a child’s hand or bottom is intended to cause pain to the child, then it is a form of violence against the child just as it is for adults. Children are not sub-humans, and do not deserve to have pain inflicted upon them because they are unable to behave like adults. As we’ve seen in my last two series, “Spanking is NOT God’s Will,” and “The Christian History of Spanking,” God never intended us to spank our children. This series further proves this as it is showing the very harmful effects of spanking children—even if it’s done “lovingly” and by Christian parents. In this piece, I will be discussing how spanking effects empathy, anger, and aggression in children and adults.
Empathy—“That Child Needs a Good Spanking!”
We hear the above statement, “That child needs a good spanking,” by many advocates of spanking as if they have no empathy for what the child is actually experiencing or the pain a “good spanking” will cause the child both physically and emotionally. As we saw in Part 2 of this series, many pro-spankers were spanked/abused as children themselves but have repressed their pain and are now in denial that hitting children does in fact cause harm. This denial can often, and does indeed, lead to a lack of empathy when it comes to children as well as other adults. [Read more...]
Sarah from Under The Olive Branch discusses a common Facebook Status in Turning Out.
Elizabeth Esther follows up on the CNN coverage of the Pearls’ teachings by explaining how these teachings lead to the sickness of Cognitive Dissonance which is what “happens when a teacher, pastor or person in authority advocates abusive methods while simultaneously recusing themselves from the actual, direct results of that abuse.”
She also reminds us that Even God Does Not Break Our Wills.
Wanna Walk Along says that There are No Pearls of Wisdom in the Pearls’ Book on Child Rearing.
Libby Anne explains exactly why she blames the Pearls’ teachings and illustrates it with her own testimony of how these teachings almost killed her brother in Michael Pearl on CNN. Check out the quotes from TTUAC from in the comments.
Created To Be His shared similar thoughts in CNN Investigates Pearls.
Abigail, from Reflections from Beit-Shalom, posts her warning For all the Living Lydias and Seans & Their Parents…
By now, people have read my very personal story. I can’t begin to put into words how difficult that was for my family and me. As I said in Part 1, the purpose of this series is to explore all of the effects of using physical punishment with children. In this piece, I will be discussing denial as one of the many effects of spanking (hitting) children. I will also share a couple of definitions of physical abuse, and will discuss the continuum of violence against children.
Denial—“I was spanked and I turned out OK”
One of the many, and most visible if one looks closely enough, effects of spanking and physical abuse is denial. Denial is a psychological defense mechanism to any traumatizing or painful event. This is why denial is one of the first steps in the grieving process. It is easier to deny that something very painful has occurred than to deal with the pain head on. How many times have we heard, “I was spanked and I’m okay,” from pro-spankers? Go on the Internet and Google “spanking children,” and we get an array of pro-spankers arguing intensely with anti-spankers about how spanking isn’t harmful. They base their arguments on their personal experiences. They are often quick to become defensive, and even get downright angry, when anti-spankers try to gently point out how and why they are wrong. This is due to the fact that it is very difficult to admit that their parents did hurt them as children, or that they are now hurting their own children. [Read more...]
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