Bad Parenting Advice

Tim Fall has a post at Spiritual Sounding Board about how Voddie Baucham and John Piper teach that parents must coerce their children into obeying them.

For more from Tim Fall, check out his response to a tweet from Mark Driscoll.

By the way, it has occurred to me that some might assume that I am against Independent Fundamental Baptist churches.  On the contrary, I identify as an IFB because they teach the closest I have found to sound doctrine.  These churches really are independent and the important thing is to find one which is neither abusive nor racist which is not always easy.

How Many Churches Allow and Even Encourage Abuse

Valerie Tarico looks at the problem of  Christian discipline leading to abuse in “Bible-based” discipline has led to child abuse in Salon Magazine.  I am seeing non-believers getting more and more concerned with this issue and rightly so.  It breaks my heart that abusive Christians are giving Christianity a bad name.  Of course, it is only natural that they are trying to find a way to stop the abuse.  My only concern with that is that their definition of abuse often includes teaching children that they are sinners in need of salvation, which is the heart of the Gospel.

Because of that article, Pastor Doug Bursch (who was raised in a grace-filled, loving home) discussed the problem with M. Dolon Hickmon on his Christian Talk Radio show, Live from Seattle 820AM.  This conversation is extremely interesting as well as important.  Dolon explains how important it is for Christians to recognize abuse.  Not only do churches fail to notice abuse, they often inadvertently encourage it.  He explains how each person listening to a sermon about spanking has a different definition for the words being used.  Both abused children and their parents assume that the word, “spanking” means exactly what they are currently doing and are being validated that they should continue, even if the pastor preaching means nothing of the sort.  Raising awareness is very important and he has a lot of hope that the book he wrote will go a long way towards that.  You can get information about his book here.  ****Warning!  Book very triggering for survivors of abuse****

 

Children and Their Choices

forgedimagination has a very interesting series about Choices and Children Being Allowed to Make Them.


Part 1
in which she shares a story from her childhood about being allowed to make choices.

Part 2 in which she tells us about how her right to make choices came to be taken away and introduces a petition for the Home School Legal Defense Association to openly acknowledge that homeschoolers can also be abusers, and to educate their members about child abuse.

Part 3 in which she explains how inherently abusive it is to raise children with the doctrine of Instance Obedience.

Another Abusive School on CNN

Under Much Grace shares the transcripts and video of CNN’s report on Pinehaven Home for Troubled Teens in a 3 part series which starts here.

 

Does the Bible Tell Us To Bruise Our Children?

Cindy of Under Much Grace looks at Proverbs 20:30, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly” and explores What Jesus Said About the “Blueness of the Wound.”

And on a totally unrelated note, I liked what Bob Bixby said about teachers being held accountable for their teachings and not being able to hide behind Matthew 18 when someone speaks out against their teachings.  As far as I know, Michael Pearl has never mentioned Matthew 18 in this context, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone were to read what James MacDonald said and apply it to him.

AC360 Continues to look at Ungodly Discipline

On Friday Nov 25, Anderson Cooper continued his look at Ungodly Discipline. Here is the video and here is the transcript.

Also, here is more about Spanking in Christian Schools aired on Dec 1, 2011.

Spiritual Spanking

Clinton Verley at Midly Insightful takes a closer look at the sermon by Pastor Roger Voegtlin which was featured  in the CNN segment on the Pearls.

More Investigation from CNN

CNN continues its investigative report of abuse among fundamental Christians and how it relates to the Pearls’ teachings.  Jocelyn Zichterman, who was raised in this culture and started Freedomfromabuse.net, explains the concept of Breaking The Will and how spankings must continue until the child submits even if it takes several hours. This video seems to cut suddenly, I’m wondering if this series will continue.

An Update on the Ernest Willis / Tina Anderson Case

Under Much Grace has posted an in depth explanation of the Ernest Willis / Tina Anderson Case.

More Thoughts About ATI

John Cornish has posted a follow up to his post about his childhood in an ATI world.

More on the Tina Anderson Case

Cindy Kunsman (UnderMuchGrace) reports the latest on the Tina Anderson case and offers a button for your blog.

News coverage from the Concord Monitor here.

News story from the U.K. here.

Tina Anderson Case Goes to Trial

Reposting this MSNBC report for permanence:

Teen allegedly raped, forced to apologize for pregnancy before her church

Jury selection to begin in 1997 case; church member on trial for raping babysitter

msnbc.com staff and news service reports

CONCORD, N.H. — Jury selection is scheduled to begin Monday in the case of a 15-year-old girl who prosecutors say was raped by a fellow church member and forced to stand before the congregation to apologize for getting pregnant.

Ernest Willis is charged with forcibly raping Christina Anderson twice during the summer of 1997, when she was his children’s baby sitter and he was 39. Lawyers for Willis, now 52, say in court documents that he will admit having sex with the girl once but maintains it was consensual.

Prosecutor Wayne Coull said he expects Anderson to be among the first witnesses called when the trial begins May 23 in Merrimack Superior Court. The trial is expected to last four days.

The Associated Press generally does not identify people who say they were victims of sex crimes, but Anderson, now 29, asked that her name be made public.

Former Trinity Baptist Church Pastor Charles Phelps is on the prosecution’s list of witnesses. Anderson told police that Phelps arranged for her to move to Colorado and forced her to write a letter of apology she had to read to the fundamentalist congregation.

She then was told to move into a room in the Phelpses’ home until she was to leave for Colorado, which Anderson said happened within days.

Anderson was home-schooled in Colorado, and gave birth to the baby there, the New Hampshire Union Leader reported. She gave the child up for adoption, the newspaper said.

Phelps is adamant that he reported the allegations to Concord police and was critical of them for failing to act. Police said they tried to investigate in 1997 but couldn’t find Anderson. They didn’t locate her until last year, when friends and Internet posts revealed she was living in Arizona under her married name.

‘Justice needs to be done’
The Union Leader reported that a detective with the Concord police contacted Anderson, the married mother of three more children, after learning of the case through a Facebook page entitled, “Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Cult Survivors.”

Phelps, who now lives in Indiana, said last year that he helped relocate Anderson at her mother’s request. Anderson’s mother, Christine Leaf, has refused to comment on whether she initiated or consented to the relocation. She, too, is on the prosecution’s witness list.

Anderson told the AP earlier this month she is nervous about testifying and having her life rehashed publicly, but added, “It needs to be done. Justice needs to be done.”

In court documents, Coull said he doesn’t object to a motion by defense lawyers Donna Brown and Brooksley Belander to be allowed to question Anderson about sexual abuse inflicted on her by her former stepfather beginning when she was 9 and ending when she was 11.

Coull does object to defense efforts to bar testimony about Willis’ offer to take Anderson out of state for an abortion and his offer to punch her hard in the stomach to induce a miscarriage. Coull said in court documents that Willis’ “willingness to use violence” is highly relevant “and clearly indicative of guilt.”

The judge has yet to rule on those motions.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Update here.

 

Being fair to the IFB Churches

The Brevia Reading room asks if the Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches being unfairly demonized. This pretty much sums up what I believe. I am a member of a Independent Fundamental Baptist Church and which is nothing like these churches which are falling into legalism and and spiritual abuse and going so far as to cover up the sins of their leaders.

Does God Want Us To Break Their Wills?

Elizabeth  Esther has  a post which discusses the idea that Even God Does Not Break Our Will.

Along the same lines, The Wartburg Watch has reposted a letter from Bob Dixon explaining Why He Finally Left Sovereign Grace Ministries After 30 years.

Childhood in the ATI World

John Cornish shares about of his Childhood in the ATI/IFB World and how it affected his life.  This is not really about abuse per se, more of how a mindset damaged him.  This mindset is known to lead to abuse and this testimony shows how damaging the mindset is.   More importantly, he explains how scriptural it is.

Old Case of Spanking Caused Renal Failure Discovered

Under Much Grace has discovered information of a case from 2002 of a boy being  “disciplined” into Renal Failure.   Disclaimer:  this is not the case of parents disciplining their child, this is a case of 22 yr old men disciplining a young boy for way too long and ending up in jail.  One later wrote a book about his jail experience and how he continued to serve the Lord in jail.  The whole story is very disturbing on many levels.

She also has an article exposing the dangerous teachings of Ron Williams of  Hepzibah House.  He is very clear in his teachings, actually using the term, “beat,” and advocating starting in infancy.  Here is a quote:

As soon as the child begins to express his own self-will (and this occurs early in life) that child needs to receive correction. My wife and I have a general goal of making sure that each of our children has his will broken by the time he reaches the age of one year. To do this, a child must receive correction when he is a small infant.

Wartburg Watch and IFB

The Wartburg Watch Focuses on Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches this week.  So far they have:

Is The Independent Fundamental Baptist Church Any Different Than the Southern Baptist Convention and Sovereign Grace Ministries?

The Independent Fundamental Baptist Church Sounds Like Mark Driscoll and The Rest of Them

Who Do The Independent Fundamental Baptists Say They Are?

They will probably add 1 or 2 more posts this week so stay tuned.

Also, don’t miss miss this new post from  Under Much Grace:

Redeeming Dinah: The Errors of Ron Williams, the IFB, and Gothard’s Esteem of Rabbinical Writing as Holy Writ

 

Heartbreaking Abuse

Warning, the first post should not be read by sensitive people:

The Breaking the “Diabolical Will” of Infants in the IFB – Even at Hephzibah House: Pondering Pearl and Lydia Schatz Part VII

There But For Grace: Why Good People Make Dangerous Choices (Pondering Pearl and Lydia Schatz) Part VIII


Humiliation at Hephzibah House: Restriction and Control over Restroom Breaks

More Responses to the 20/20 IFB Story

Bob Bixby shares an update from Tina Anderson’s husband. Tina, as you may remember, was featured on the 20/20 story about abuse in some IFB churches.

And here are 2 more responses to the 20/20 show:

20/20 And The IFB Culture by Baptist Thinker

IFB by David Schmidt from Thoughts of an Unlearned.

And if I may make my own comment on the show and the responses, I must say that I am rather disappointed that I am not seeing more discussion of the part about the harsh teachings of using corporeal punishment of babies in some of these churches.  I have seen only a few references to harsh punishment and that is it.  Elizabeth Vargas was properly shocked at the idea of spanking infants for crying in church and then the topic was pretty much dropped.  I found one blog post about it.  In each of the other pages about it to which I have linked lately, I have seen much discussion in the comments about sexual abuse and coverups as well as how linked the IFB churches are or are not.  I have seen mentions of spiritual abuse and legalism.  I have seen no outrage for the idea of spanking infants nor even a discussion of what age would be ok to start.  I must be missing something.  If someone has seen such discussion, I would be interested.

 

edited to add:

I see that Bob Bixby posted something On Whipping Your Children today.  Also, I see from my comments that people are, indeed, discussing it.  Apparently, I am just not reading in the right places.

 

A Former Trinity Baptist Insider and the 20/20 IFB Story

Bob Bixby has posted a statement from Laura Moody, Formally from Trinity Baptist Church, about her relationship with those involved with the scandal featured in the 20/20 story about abuse in some IFB churches.  Read the comments for more hashing out of details.

Bob Bixby also has a post addressing Brian Fuller’s comments in that episode of 20/20 and his subsequent blog post.  Again, more details are hashed out in the comments.

In an effort to be fair, he links to the Other Side of the Story and discusses the hows and whys of Blaming the Victim.

Under Much Grace reminds us that the 20/20 story “failed to make any mention of the abuses that took place at the IFB’s most infamous boarding house for ‘troubled girls,’ the Hephzibah House of Winona Lake, IN.”

And The Wartburg Watch has a list of suggestions for how churches can better protect the children in their congregations from sexual abuse.

Spanking Infants???

Elizabeth Esther posted about the 20/20 exposé of abuse in some IBF churches and interprets Pastor Brian Fuller’s remarks.  She explains the teaching of first time obedience  and how common the spanking of infants really in these churches. By the way, some of the comments of this blog post seem to have inside information in them.

Also, I want to make it clear that  not all Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches have abusive teachings.  I am a member of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church which does not.  The pastor often reminds us that salvation is by faith in Jesus and what He did alone and you cannot add anything to that.  He reminds us that saying a prayer or baptism or anything else will not save you, you are saved by believing that what Jesus said and did is true.  They do believe in corporal punishment but I have never heard of anyone there spanking an infant or using an implement.  While they might say that they believe in wifely submission, what I see looks more like mutual submission.   I see no signs of the patriarchal movement, most of the women in that church wear pants.  They also cut and dye their hair and nobody says a word about it.  Women work outside the home and girls are expected to go to college.  On top of that, many in  the congregation uses public schools.  So, I don’t know how extensive the abuse in IFB churches is but I believe that churches need to be considered on a church by church basis.  After all, they are independent.

ABC News Exposes Abuse in some IFB Churches

ABC News Exposes Alleged Abuse in some IFB Churches on this News Video. The Schatz story is mentioned as well as the recent Lori Wick Child Abuse Scandal.  Brian Fuller of Trinity Baptist Church condemns the abuse and insists that not all IFB churches are the same.  I agree with him, as my Independent Fundamental Baptist church is nothing like that either.  The very fact that they are Independent shows that they are not all the same.  But I digress.  This video is a tease for tonight’s episode of 20/20 which aired Friday April 8, 2011

More links:

Fundamental Baptist Warns Against NGJ

David Cloud of Fundamental Baptist Information Service has updated his Warning Against No Great Joy Ministries. While he agrees with a lot of what the Pearls teach, he has some serious reservations:

1 ) Exalting the family over the church.
2 ) Sinless Perfection
3 ) Michael Pearl’s duplicitous dealings with the author
4 ) The teaching that Jesus became a sinner (!)

He then includes some testimonies of people who have written to him in response to his previous writings. That is where you will find some discussion of Rebekah Pearl and her dreams.