Babies, Children and Sin Nature

Stephanie just started a new blog called The Shepherd’s Apprentice.

In her first post, she explains about the sin nature of babies and children and how we should respond to it.

She then posts about Selfish Babies or rather, if there is such a thing.

She ties it up with a look at Sin, How To Get What You Want.

Not bad for her first day.  ;-)

More On Raising Christian Teenagers

C.L. Dyck of Scita Scita Scienda shares her reaction to Sharon Lathan’s recent post (which I shared yesterday) in Parenting Teens in the Christian Culture.

Punishment

Sarah at Under The Olive Branch shares a very thought provoking quote about punishment.

While you are there, check out her love story The Restoration of All Things.

Should Obedience Be The Goal of Parenting?

The Hippie Housewife asks if our goal for our children should be Obedience or something else.

On a similar note, Created To Be His muses on the idea that Sons of Hell Can Be Rather Impressive.

Meanwhile, Pearl in Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with 52 Tool Cards Double Feature: Act Without Words and One Word.

How Should We Respond To Disobedient Children?

How should we treat our children when they disobey us?  Cultured Mama explores this question as she asks Does God Withdraw His Love from Sinners?

Does God Spank His Children?

Carissa Robinson delves into the question, “Does God Spank His Children?

There is No Fear in Love: Why Spanking Doesn’t Work

When I was ten until I was twelve years old, I attended a small non-denominational Christian school in which spanking was permitted. Although such practice is almost unheard of now, even among private schools, it was fairly common a few decades ago. Of course, like most Christians who spank, the rationale for using a paddle as a disciplinary tool was because “the Bible said so.” As has been noted here several times, the “rod” verses are time and again misinterpreted, as is so much in the Bible these days.

My personal experiences with spanking were absolutely terrifying. Every teacher had the power to spank, and the offenses that called for spanking were at the discretion of the teacher. Since none of my peers knew what could provoke a spanking, we went to school in constant fear. The one instance that stands out most for me was being spanked for a dubious reason.

It was gym class, and one rule that was established at the beginning of the year was that students could not wear jewelry for the duration of the class. One day, I was wearing a new digital watch that my mother had given me for my birthday. After we lined up Coach Baker yelled at me, “I thought I told you no jewelry.” I responded, very sincerely, that I didn’t know watches were jewelry. Immediately, my gym teacher, in a fit of rage, his voice raised several decibels higher, screamed, “Don’t you dare talk back to me.” And that was my first experience with spanking. I remember being confused, hurt, and humiliated, and I can say without hesitation that I have never felt like that before or since. But I didn’t learn anything, except that, apparently watches count as jewelry.

Having had a first-hand experience with spanking, I can say with a measure of authority that spanking does not produce results, neither short nor long-term. After leaving that school, I personally left the church, and refused to attend throughout my school years. Why? I felt that if a school like that could condone and embrace abuse, then I did not want to have any part of the religion or God associated with it. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized that God is not about punishment, abuse, and humiliation. God is, in short, love.

But there are many children from Christian households who get spanked, and I don’t doubt for a second that a majority of these children will grow up to either forsake religion, or they will become adults who are angry, scared, or both. After all, as the joke goes, the quickest way for a Catholic to leave the religion is to send him to a Catholic school. I can’t tell you  how many of my friends, having equated Christianity with hate and intolerance, stopped believing merely because their instructors in religious practice were angry people concerned only with physically and psychologically subduing those younger and weaker than them.

In the final analysis, then, spanking isn’t just bad for the child. We know that already. But it is bad for the future of our religion. Our Christian inheritance is distinguished from other religions in that it was the first belief system with its radical message of unconditional love. So for those who constantly cite the Old Testament rod verses, consider this, from the book of John:

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” –I John 4:18-21.

Author Bio:

By Nadia Jones who blogs at online college about education, college, student, teacher, money saving, movie related topics. You can reach her at nadia.jones5 @ gmail.com.

 

 

 

 

Reflecting the Character of God

The Hippie Housewife discusses how we should reflect the character of God for our children.  She looks at how attachment parenting looks a lot like how God cares for us and warns us about 3 heresies which are cropping up in many Christian teachings.

Along the same lines, Pearl In Oyster (PIO) explains that we should imitate how God disciplines His children.  She uses her testimony of how God treated her when she was out of His will as an example.

 

 

Spiritual Roots

Dulce de Leche looks at the Spiritual Roots of discipline.

Gentle Discipline 102

So, if we should not spank our children, how then should we discipline them?  We have started looking at gentle discipline.

Purple Kangaroo has a long post explaining her methods of Handling Hitting and Hurtful Words.

So, what about time outs?  Are they a good tool?  The Peaceful Housewife looks at that in To The Time Out Corner .

The Peaceful Housewife recommends that you take a look at this post from Adventures in Mommyhood called What Is Gentle Discipline Anyways? It is part testimony and part What Gentle Discipline is NOT.  We will be watching for a follow up post of What Gentle Discipline IS in the near future.

I would also like to mention Dulce de Leche’s post about showing grace instead of punishments called, Wha’cha Gonna Do About It? in which she looks at the question of whether we should “let them get away with it.”  She shares a very touching example in this post.

Spanking is NOT God’s Will Part 8

( part 1 ) ( part 2 ) ( part 3 )

What is grace?  This is the question running through my head as I wrestle with a bit of discouragement as children continue to be harmed by well-meaning people who want so badly to obey God in their parenting.  As I continue to hear the same comments from pro-spankers who seem almost desperate to defend themselves for fear of being wrong.  As I hear on the morning news that two teenagers were shot and killed by their own mother because they were being “mouthy.”  As a book that advocates spanking infants may be being used by people that I know.  What is grace?  Who deserves grace?  Is the Bible Truth or something that can be used however we want in order to support our own beliefs?  What does it mean to be Spirit led and to take up our crosses and follow Jesus?  Why do some Christians proclaim, “God hates fags?”  Why is there so much division in the Body of Christ when God commands us to be “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind” Philippians 2:2?

Another thing that keeps popping up in my mind and during my Bible study is the following verse:

“So he said to me, ‘This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty” Zechariah 4:6.

This verse is in context with an angel showing Zechariah a vision seemingly related to the coming of a future Messiah to rescue the people.  Yesterday in church, the pastor discussed the uneventful way that Jesus quietly came on the scene amidst the crowds that were waiting by the Jordan River in order to be baptized by a relative, John The Baptist (Matthew 3:13-17).  Everyone thought that the Messiah would come and mightily restore Israel with a mighty sword.  But instead, Jesus came as an infant and lived in humble settings.  He didn’t even look like a powerful king that everyone expected Him to be.  Look how Isaiah the prophet described Jesus: [Read more...]

You Always Hurt The One You Love?

Molly remembers the messages she got as a child that parents must hurt their children because they love them.    What kind of damage does that do to a child?

And speaking of damage.  What kind of damage is done to a child who is given a Roy Lessin spanking for every infraction? Especially when not being happy enough (even after a spanking) is a punishable offense.   Read Beth Fenimore’s testimony (on Peaceful Parenting) in her open letter to Roy Lessin but first brace yourself as it really is a heart wrenching story.