Pearl’s Reaction To the Duggar Debacle

Pearl’s reaction to the problems the Duggars have faced fits his M.O. perfectly. He continues to give the same advice that the Duggars were already following and insists that it works, in spite of it not working for them. I don’t doubt that in his mind, the fact that it didn’t work is proof that they did not follow it correctly.  It appears that he cannot or will not consider the possibility that his methods don’t work.

Does Candace Cameron Bure promote the Pearls?

Inquisitr.com reports that Candace Cameron Bure promotes some very harsh teachings including that of the Pearls’. They even link to an old blog post entitled,“Ask Candace” for proof.

Do you have any parenting tips?
Who doesn’t? We all learn things along the way, that we end up sharing with people whether they like it or not. 😉 There are 3 books I consult along with long conversations with my sister-in-law, mom and few good friends. The books that guideline raising our children are the Bible, Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp and To Train Up a Child by Michael & Debi Pearl. My parenting tip of the day is … consistency; it’s key.

This article also discusses the Duggars and possible endorsement of the Pearls, which we have already discussed here.

Shannon’s Testimony and Plea to End Obedience-Based Christian Parenting

Shannon Evans pleas for an end to Obedience-Based Christian Parenting, especially for adopted children, in a very well written post. This is a good post to share with pro-spankers because she explains the danger of the mindset without condemning spankers. I realize that many of my followers are disappointed in this post and claiming that it does not go far enough. We have to understand that there is a time and place for baby steps. People rarely jump from pro-spanker to anti-spanker in moment of epiphany. Such a change is usually a long, arduous journey. Information taken in at each step of the way will either push them further along on the way or push them backwards. A blog post which condemns all spanking is often rejected and may even push them right back to their starting spot. It is clear from this post that the author has come a long way and is in danger of alienating many people she loves by posting this. I applaud her courage and passionate plea.

Remembering Sean

Tulipgirl reminds us that it has been ten years since we lost Sean.

Lisa’s Response to Debi Pearl’s Prayer for the destruction of her enemies

Lisa has said very well what I have had neither the time nor energy to write so I am going to give her comments the exposure they deserve.

In response to my post regarding Debi Pearl’s public prayer asking God to destroy her enemies, Lisa said:

I read the article, also, and I was appalled. A prayer should not ever need excuses for why it sounds like a prayer for another human being’s death.

What if they had asked God to open their eyes and hearts and show them ‘if there is any hurtful way in them, and lead them in the everlasting way’? What if they had asked God if they had a log in their eyes that they needed to remove in order to see more clearly? What if they had asked God to bless these people?

When Jesus said to pray for our enemies, I think he meant to pray for their good and their welfare. I think that if someone attacks you, the very first thing you should do is examine whether there is any merit to their complaint. After that, humble oneself and depend on God.

I think that to compare any human beings to attacking dogs is a mistake. The Psalms may contain references like this but these are preshadowings of Christ’s affliction. We are not Christ, and we are now in the New Testament and Christ has taught us to love our enemies and do good to those who would despitefully use us. None of the apostles, nor Steven, prayed for the death of their enemies.

Finally, if I had ever written a book that led 1 other person (much less 3) to abuse their child to the point of killing them, I would be devastated beyond description. I would take that book off the market and burn every copy and repent on my face before God. Wouldn’t you?

I replied and she then went on to say:
[Read more…]

Are the Pearls praying for the death of their enemies?

It would appear that the Pearls are facing legal problems over the damages their teachings have caused.  Vyckie Garrison reports on this in an article entitled, “Evangelical couple begs God to strike critics dead over child abuse claims.”

When I saw this article, was surprised. I feel that I know quite a bit about the Pearls and I know that they strive to be good Christians. I disagree with fundamental aspects of their teachings on child rearing to the point that I consider much of it dangerous. However, I do believe that they are sincerely trying to serve the Lord.  So, I read the article right away, looking for what Debi Pearl really said.

She starts out describing a time when Mr. Pearl was brutally attacked by dogs while serving the Lord. She explains how this was really a satanic attack. She then likens it to this new legal attack. She decries her attackers which she explains are also led by the forces of darkness. She then tells of a time when the Lord delivered them by destroying their attacker. She did not say that someone died, but it is easy to come to that conclusion. She exhorts her followers and ends by asking for prayer, giving her followers a sample prayer. Here the excerpt in question:

…we ask that you step in and bring down the evil that is set against Michael Pearl’s family. Bring to an end all those that testify in lies and deceit.

Now, I can totally see where people would interpret that to mean that they are asking for people’s death, but I also suspect that they would be shocked and offended at that interpretation.  I suspect that are asking for an end to the evil and that a change of heart would cause there to be no more people testifying against them. Of course, I can’t speak for them, but that is how I read their words.

Either way, the prayer is appalling. One of my commenters expressed why very well here.

There’s More To This Than Meets The Eye

Perhaps you have heard of Rachel Dolezal, she has been in the media a lot lately. She recently resigned from her posistion as NAACP leader after her parents informed the media that she was white. I had a feeling that there was something behind this all that we didn’t know, so I was not very surprised to find out that her parents trained her using the book, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. Here is the article from Homeschoolers Anonymous:

THE MEDIA IS DOING EXACTLY WHAT RACHEL DOLEZAL’S ABUSIVE HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS WANT

Speaking of “more than meets the eye,” I have not been posting much and I missed sharing a blog post which discusses a study about the damange corporal punishment does to a child’s brain.

And while I’m sharing things which went out through my Facebook Feed, but not here, some of you might be interested in these Tips for getting toddlers to cooperate while shopping from Purple Puzzle Place.

“To Train Up A Child” in New Zealand News

Eileen Joy and her petition have made the mainstream news in New Zealand after reaching 100,000 signatures.

Here is an article in the New Zealand Herald.

Here is an article from Auckland Now. (Sunday Star Times)

Here is an article from 3 News

There is also debate about this on Facebook.  I found a some on this pages:

The Children’s Bookshop

Here are some Op Ed pieces:

Shelley Bridgeman: ‘Child abuse’ book stays in the New Zealand Herald

ROSEMARY MCLEOD: Parenting wrongs can create a lasting, painful legacy in the Dominion Post

Update: I see in the following piece that the book has been submitted to the censor’s office.
Peter Calder: Classics that fail public taste test in the New Zealand Herald

Petition to Auckland Libraries

Eileen Joy has started a petition at Change.org asking the Auckland Public Library system to remove the newly aquired book, To Train Up A Child from their system.  The library claims that to remove it would be censorship, even though the book advocates for corporal punishment which is illegal in New Zealand.

Refuting Pearl’s Analysis of Spanking Studies

In a recent post, I shared discussion of an addition to To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl.  There is an exerpt from the chapter on the No Greater Joy website.  In this article, Michael Pearl refutes studies which have shown spanking children to be harmful and shares the results of some other studies which he claims show the opposite.  Of course, there are flaws in his logic.  Here is an example.  He states:

Child psychologist Elizabeth Owens, scientist at the Institute of Human Development at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted a study. She concluded, “If you look at the causally relevant evidence, it’s not scientifically defensible to say that spanking is always a horrible thing. I don’t think mild, occasional spankings in an otherwise supportive, loving family will do any long-term harm.”

Here is the study of which he speaks. MariJo7 from GCM has kindly given me permission to share her analysis of the study: [Read more…]

Discussing the new chapter of TTUAC

The Gentle Christian Mothers are discussing NGJ’s New Addition to “To Train Up a Child.”  It seems that for their 21st anniversary edition, No Greater Joy has added a new chapter to the book which attempts to refute studies which showing spanking to be detrimental to children.  Of course, the moms at Gentle Christian Mothers have found a few flaws in his logic.

If you like this, you might also be interested in this list I complied of Selected posts from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

The Truth About The Old Schoolhouse

I have warned people about the Old Schoolhouse before, telling them that its founders, Paul and Gena Suarez, promoted the Pearls’ teachings and defended them.  When I visit their Facebook page, I am always surprised to see that some of my friends like that page.  Maybe the fact that they support and defend the Pearls (while old news) is not well known.  

I have discovered that not only do they promote the Pearls, but they are now being accused of horrible abuse.  A family member had written about that, but has since removed the posts.

Update:  Homeschoolers Anonymous has an investigative report on this story here.

 

Book Reviews of “13:24: A Story of Faith and Obsession”

Calulu has a book review of M. Dolon Hickmon’s book 13:24. ****Triggering book**** She  gives the book high marks for being a very enjoyable and gripping mystery story.  Although The Pearls and their book are not mentioned by name in this book, Calulu finds it clear that the story directly relates to his teachings.  She also shares a little about her own encounter with followers of Pearls’ teachings:

I’ve written many a time about my first encounter with Michael Pearl’s ‘To Train Up A Child’ upon joining my old church. My youngest was 4 years old and had been in and out of the hospital with spinal meningitis and idiopathic thrombotic purpura (a bleeding disorder) and she tended to cling to me all the time. People at the new church gave me Pearl’s book and I was told I must physically discipline Laura to make her stop clinging to me. Yes, I was told to beat a child with a rare bleeding disorder to stop her from what I knew was natural behavior in a child that had been in and out of the hospital. That type of cruelty is at the heart of ’13:24′.

 

Also, don’t miss this book review from WND.

*****Warning!  Book very triggering for survivors of abuse *****

World Mag Looks At the Pearls

Kiley Crossland of World Magazine takes a look at the Pearl’s teachings in To Train Up A Pharisee.

Review of TTUAC on HeraldNet

Jenny Bardsley has a post on HeraldNet honoring Hana Alemu “Williams” and reviewing the Pearl’s book, To Train Up A Child.

She speaks more about the book and homeschooling here.

She also discusses their teachings in her review of Elizabeth Esther‘s book.

The Christian Post Looks At The Petition To Amazon

The Christian Post reports that the Change.org petition (asking Amazon to stop selling the controversial book, To Train Up A Child) is closing in on 100,000 signatures. They then take a closer look at the Pearls’ teachings and the controversy surrounding them.

Did Batman Follow Pearl’s Teachings?

Chris Gavaler compares Michael Pearl to Batman as he reviews his Comic Book Bible in The Good And Evil Guide To Parenting.

An Interview With Michael Pearl’s Nephew

Alicia Bayer has an interview with Michael Bailey who is Michael Pearl’s nephew.  He discusses his childhood, Michael Pearl and the book he is writing to refute his teachings in, Michael Pearl’s nephew speaks out on God, beatings and To Train Up a Child.

Also, today Margot Peppers has an article about the Pearls and their book, To Train Up A Child, in the Mail Online: Inside the extreme child-rearing guide that advocates whipping children with belts and branches. . . and has been linked to three deaths in seven years.

Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on BBC Radio

Yesterday the BBC had Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on their radio talk show, World Have Your Say.  The segment about Michael Pearl and his teachings begins at 27:16.  They also have a few other guests discussing the teachings after Elizabeth Esther and Michael Pearl have their discussion/debate.

I am encouraged that Mr. Pearl has started back pedaling a bit and even said to stop hitting a 9 month old’s knuckles after 3 strikes with a spatula because it is clearly not working.  Of course, he qualifies it that the parent is not doing something right and must regroup and start over, but I am so thankful that he is starting to admit that it might not be working and that one should stop.   It would be great if he would admit that his method will not work for every child and even better if he would decide that there are better ways of getting the attention of a 9 month old than inflicting physical pain and that conditioning children is very unhealthy for them, but I must rejoice in any improvement.  When Elizabeth pointed out  that he was contradicting his book, he just brushed her off.   Hopefully, he will continue to promote guidelines of when things are not working and make sure that all his followers hear it.

The BBC Looks At The Pearls’ Training Book

Aiden Lewis of The BBC has a well researched article about the book, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl as well as the controversy which surrounds it.

Who Wants To Be Interviewed For A News Story?

A writer from The Verge is working on a story about the Pearls for publication on The Verge website. He would like to talk with anyone who has experience with the book or the Pearls firsthand. If you are interested in taking part in this, please send me (hermanalinda@whynottrainachild.com) your contact info and I’ll pass it on to him.

The BBC Interview Is Over

A reporter from the BBC is working on a story about the Pearls for publication on the BBC website. He is doing a lot of research and would like to talk with someone who was raised by the Pearls’ methods. If you are interested in taking part in this, please send me (hermanalinda@whynottrainachild.com) your contact info and I’ll pass it on to him.

Thank you for your help, everyone.  The interview is over.  If I hear of another opportunity, I will be sure to post.  🙂

Anderson Cooper 360 Takes Another Look At The Pearls

Andersoon Cooper 360 has taken their old footage from the interview Gary Tuchman did with Pearls back in Oct 2011 and the stories they did about the death of Lydia Schatz and remixed it with new footage about Hana “Williams,” in this new episode of Godly Discipline. They then discuss the Pearls’ culpability or lack of it, in the deaths. You will find both parts of this show (in 2 videos) on this page. You will find the transcript here. The segment in question starts about 2/3 of the way down. The easiest way to find it would be to use the find feature and search for “To Train Up A Child.”

Note: Here is more information about the Find Feature.

In case anyone is wondering, I am not in favor of holding the Pearls legally accountable.  The parents are to blame for following man instead of God.  Yes, the Bible does say that teachers bear a greater responsibility and God’s judgement will be fair.  I do believe that the teachings are dangerous and do my best to convince parents not to follow them and bookstores not to sell them. However, I am not trying to get the book banned, nor to harm the Pearls in any way.

 

Hana and Pearl Are All Over The Internet

There has been a lot of attention being given lately to the Pearls and the part their book, To Train Up A Child, played in the death of Hana Aleumu “Williams.” So much attention in fact, that my blog could not handle the traffic generated by Google searches and was taken offline from the 19th until today as explained here. So, here is a rundown of the posts and articles I missed posting during that time.

It started with this article on Nov 15: Another couple found guilty of murder for parenting by “To Train Up a Child” by Alicia Bayer of the Mankato Attachment Parenting Examiner. [Read more…]

It’s Good To Be Back

So, I guess many of you noticed that this blog was down from Tuesday, November 19 at 1:00 PM PST until today.  I’m sorry to disappear without warning, but the truth is that I did not even know about it until 2 hours after it happened.

I did notice on Monday the 18th that my traffic had gone up ten-fold, but I did not know that my host would pull the plug over that.  They put up with it for what I assume was 24 hours and then advised us that they had placed a temporary block on the account because “This account was found to be consuming an inordinate amount of processor time, to the point of degrading overall system performance. While we do limit each account to no more than 25% of a system’s CPU in our terms of service, we do not actively disable accounts until they greatly exceed that number, which is what happened in this case.” Wow. [Read more…]

To Train Up A Child Being Pulled?

It looks like Amazon has decided to keep selling the controversial book, To Train Up A Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl.  It is being offered as usual on both the USA site and the UK site.

However, Lulastic tells us that some other online retailers have decided to pull the book.  She also discusses her reasons for trying to get the book pulled and gives us some ideas for how to help.

I would like to remind people that this is not a campaign to ban a book.  The book will still be legal to sell.  Any book seller who wishes to is free to sell it.  The public is also free to boycott anyone who chooses to sell it and to put pressure on them to stop.  The book will always be available to buy directly from the publisher, No Greater Joy.  Because of this, I don’t see the point of equating asking Amazon to stop profiting from the sales of a dangerous parenting guide with book banning.

If you would like to sign the petition to Amazon.co.uk, here it is.

Update: here is the latest from @ADadCalledSpen.

Samuel Martin Explains About Biblical Times

Samuel Martin is trying to help people understand the difference in how people thought in Biblical times and now because this is crucial to understanding the Bible.

He discusses Michael’s book, To Train Up A Child in Should we preach? publish?, or proclaim the Gospel – Yes? No? Maybe?

He also has a post on Dara Stoltzfus’ blog about Gender Space in Biblical Times which I believe you will find interesting.

 

Analyzing A Problematic Post by Pearl

Sarah at Field of Vision has started a small series of posts looking at the Pearl’s teachings and specifically their attitude towards children.  This series focuses on one particular article by Michael Pearl called, Emotional Manipulators.

Part 1: Parenting and the Power of Perspective in which she discusses how Michael Pearl assigns negative intent to a 4 year old child and her mother.

Part 2: Michael Pearl and Responding to Attention Seekers in which she discusses Michael Pearl’s diagnosis of the child and his very harsh proposed remedy.

She may post more of this series in the future, in which case I will add them to this post.

How Could They?

Under Much Grace looks at how parents find themselves falling into abusive teachings in A Film that Helps Us Understand Why Pearl Becomes Appealing: How do parents get caught up in extreme practices?

Also of interest, she reflects on the Williams Trial in Homeschooling, Hana Williams and the “Rod of Man.”

 

How Many Churches Allow and Even Encourage Abuse

Valerie Tarico looks at the problem of  Christian discipline leading to abuse in “Bible-based” discipline has led to child abuse in Salon Magazine.  I am seeing non-believers getting more and more concerned with this issue and rightly so.  It breaks my heart that abusive Christians are giving Christianity a bad name.  Of course, it is only natural that they are trying to find a way to stop the abuse.  My only concern with that is that their definition of abuse often includes teaching children that they are sinners in need of salvation, which is the heart of the Gospel.

Because of that article, Pastor Doug Bursch (who was raised in a grace-filled, loving home) discussed the problem with M. Dolon Hickmon on his Christian Talk Radio show, Live from Seattle 820AM.  This conversation is extremely interesting as well as important.  Dolon explains how important it is for Christians to recognize abuse.  Not only do churches fail to notice abuse, they often inadvertently encourage it.  He explains how each person listening to a sermon about spanking has a different definition for the words being used.  Both abused children and their parents assume that the word, “spanking” means exactly what they are currently doing and are being validated that they should continue, even if the pastor preaching means nothing of the sort.  Raising awareness is very important and he has a lot of hope that the book he wrote will go a long way towards that.  You can get information about his book here.  ****Warning!  Book very triggering for survivors of abuse****