Discipline without Harm Part 3

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Throughout this series we are discussing ways of disciplining children that are more in line with what God had in mind.  All of the discipline strategies in this series are very effective when used consistently and in conjunction with each other.  They are all biblically supported and sound.  And none of these methods, when used properly and respectfully, will ever cause any harm to children.  In this piece, we will look at how to set appropriate limits and boundaries for our children by which they can abide.  We will see that allowing children simple choices and giving appropriate alternatives for inappropriate behaviors also help children comply with our limits and boundaries.  Next, we will see why using encouragement with our children is better than using rewards and praise.  Finally, we will discuss using natural and logical consequences with children.  Consequences are not the same as punishment.  And discipline should not be equated with punishment.

Setting Limits and Boundaries—“Three Basic Rules for Life.”

We all need limits and boundaries in our lives for without them life would be very chaotic.  This is especially true for children as this world is too overwhelming for them to handle on their own.  Children feel most secure when they know what the limits and boundaries are.  In fact, young children will test limits and boundaries to make sure that the adults in their lives will enforce them.  “Children need secure, loving boundaries in order to feel safe, just as adults need a house with strong walls and a roof to feel protected from the weather.  [Read more...]

Behaviour Modification

This blog post is exactly one year old today. I am linking to it because I just found it and have always found this topic interesting.  Behaviour Modification: Punishment by Hippie Housewife.  Here is a quote:

…Every day I hear the same parenting advice – punishment and rewards, threats and praise, negative and positive attention. In other words, the very definition of behaviour modification.

Does it work? That depends on what your goals are. If your goal is to get your child to mind you, then yes, it quite often does. However, for our own family’s goals, we have chosen not to use this system of behaviour modification. I’d like to share our reasons for this choice, today focusing in particular on the punishment side, saving the rewards/praise aspect for another day…

Here is her follow up post Behaviour Modification: Praise to which she alluded in that quote.