Letter to A Pro-Spanker

The Melting Mom has written a letter to her pro-spanking friend to explain what she has learned about gentle parenting. This is a fantastic letter and I know that you will find it helpful.

I would also like to remind everyone that Gentle Christian Mothers is a very good place for mothers who are seeking to be gentle to find support.

Let God be True, but Every Man a Liar

“Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol” (Proverbs 23:13-14, NASB).

So many Christians believe this verse and the other “Rod” verses are to be taken literally. Some very watered down versions of the Bible even say to spank. But, if we were to take this literally, wouldn’t that make God a liar? Let’s think about this. [Read more…]

Following God’s Word or Man’s?

Richard was kind enough to share his concerns with me here.   Dara responded to him with such a powerful testimony that I did not want to leave her words hidden in my comment section.  That is why I am reproducing her comment here.

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“How interesting, Hermana Linda, that you have determined that there are better ways to guide than those supplied by God’s Word.”

I agree with you that it would be disturbing if someone felt this way. But, I do not see Hermana Linda as doing that. I see that she agrees that the best way to guide children is to do so by God’s Word. The real conflict is among Christians over what God’s Word actually says and should be of utmost importance to all of us.

I was raised being hit with [Read more…]

Should Christian Parents Spank Their Children?

Rick Creech answers the question, Should Christian Parents Spank Their Children?  This is a very good article to share with fundamental Christians because it is written by a fundamental pastor who only uses the KJV.

More Reasons Not To Spank

Here are 2 new articles which explain why a Christian should reconsider spanking.

12 Biblical Reasons To Reconsider Spanking Your Kids By Shannon Wasie

6 Reasons Why We Changed Our Mind and Stopped Spanking by Sallie Borrink

What does the Bible REALLY say about spanking?

Eminent American Biblical Scholar Professor James D. Tabor looks at spanking in the United States and what the Bible really says about spanking in Spanking Children: The Bible Tells Me So?

 

About Adrian Peterson

Crystal Lutton discusses responses to the Adrian Peterson case.

Speaking of Crystal Lutton, she also explains what the Bible says about spanking.

When considering Adrian Peterson, Rebecca Diamond says that she was spanked and she turned out… well, you’ll have to read her post to find out.

Jennifer McGrail compares Adrian Peterson with Ray Rice in Hitting is Hitting is Hitting.

Well known NBA player, Kareem Abdul Jabbar condems spanking in Time Magazine.

Questions for Pro-Spankers

Here are 10 questions to ask those who believe that the Bible commands us to spank our children.

Excerpt From “Jesus, The Gentle Parent”

Here is an excerpt from L. R. Knost’s book, Jesus, The Gentle Parent which explains the Rod verses in Proverbs.

Here is a review of her book and a Giveaway from Positive Parenting.

To Condition Up A Child?

Michael Pearl says that his teachings are Biblical.  Lee Woofenden does not agree and he explains why in his post, To Train Up A Child, or: Spare the Rod? What Rod?  This is a long article and worth the read.  He points out, among other things, that Mr. Pearl is actually teaching parents to condition their children which is not Biblical.

Where Did “Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child” Really Come From?

Do No Harm has a post at News 24 in Cape Town explaining what Spare The Rod and Spoil The Child really means.  He also links to Samuel Martin’s book which is available as a free download here.

Jesus, the Greatest Superhero

Samuel Martin looks why Paul The Apostle did not use Proverbs and Parables in his teachings.

Dara Stoltzfus considers becoming more like Jesus, the Greatest Superhero.

A Look At Child Rearing In The Bible Lands

Samuel Martin looks at child-rearing in the Bible Lands both then and now in True Eastern Wisdom Is Coming West.

Sylvia’s Thoughts On Spanking

Sylvia shares her testimony and Her Thoughts On Spanking in this post.

Why Rosemary Has Chosen Not To Spank

Rosemary shares “a collection of thoughts on why – especially the Biblical reasons why –” They’ve Chosen Not To Spank.

Mothering By Grace Reviews Shepherding A Child’s Heart

I just found this excellent review of Tedd Tripp’s Book, Shepherding A Child’s Heart at Mothering By Grace.

The Christian and The Explosive Child

Wendy at Practical Theology for Women shares A Christian Perspective on the Explosive Child.  In this post  she recommends the very helpful book, The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene.

I see that she also has her own Rod Study as well as a look at Discipline vs. Punishment.

Would Jesus spank?

Flowermama looks at the question, “Would Jesus Spank?” As she looks at the Character of God as revealed in Scripture, her answer is, no. Of course, she does touch on the Rod of Proverbs.

Speaking of the Proverbial Rod, Tia Lynn looks at the question, Are The Rod Verses Literal or Figurative? Excellent post, I don’t know how it has taken me so long to find it.

More Thoughts About the Rod in Proverbs

Claire from Dare to Disciple has some thoughts about the Rod of Correction in Proverb 23:11.

 

Samuel Martin Looks at What The Bible Says About Spanking

Samuel Martin takes a look at what the Bible says about spanking in Christian Scholars and Preachers Disagree on Spanking Children.

Sally Clarkson Looks At Obedience

Veteran Mother and writer, Sally Clarkson, looks at first time obedience in Obedience is a pathway of Maturity and Faith.

Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

Sarah explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small.  She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.

Disassociating Corporal and Eternal Punishment

Samuel Martin looks at Corporal and Eternal Punishment in 3 parts:

Corporal and Eternal Punishment: Time to disconnect these two ideas once and for all – Part One
Corporal and Eternal Punishment: Time to disconnect these two ideas once and for all – Part Two
Corporal and Eternal Punishment: Time to disconnect these two ideas once and for all – Part Three

Does Discipline Mean To Spank?

Cultured Mama looks at the question, Does Discipline Mean To Spank?

 

Discipline without Harm Part 1

In this series we will be looking at how to biblically discipline our children without inflicting pain on them or harming them in any way.  Some of the discipline strategies that we will be discussing throughout this series are modeling, child-proofing, validating feelings, fulfilling the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting realistic limits and boundaries, helping children comply, giving choices, and using natural and logical consequences with children.  The Bible says that we are to encourage each other (2 Corinthians 13:11).  All of the discipline strategies in this series do exactly that with our children.  In this first piece, we will be discussing authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting.  We will also discuss how to child-proof, modeling, and introducing God to our children.

Authoritative versus Permissive Parenting—Not Spanking does NOT Mean Wild, Rebellious Children

Pro-spankers often accuse or claim that parents who do not spank or use any type of punishment with their children of having wild and rebellious children.  This simply is not the case for parents that use the authoritative parenting style.  There seems to be much confusion over the three types of parenting styles.  We discussed the authoritarian parenting style in great detail in Part 6 of my series, “The Effects of Spanking,” which you will find in my new book, “Gentle Firmness.” As we begin to focus on how to gently but firmly discipline children, we need to examine the other two parenting styles: authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. [Read more…]

Beat Your Child To Save Him From Hell?

Samuel Martin has posted an extended excerpt from Chapter 7 of his book, Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me: Christians and the Spanking Controversy, in which he looks at Proverbs 23:13-14, “Do not withhold correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”

By the way, someone told me that they were having a problem finding where to purchase Samuel Martin’s book because on Amazon they are charging $90.  Well, you may purchase it here for under $11.

Edited to add: You can now download Samuel Martin’s Book free here.  🙂

What We Can Learn From Modern Translations of The Bible

Samuel Martin explains why we should consider reading modern translations of the Bible when seeking to understand Proverbs 19:18.

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Proverbs 19:18 – King James Version)

Does the Bible Tell Us To Bruise Our Children?

Cindy of Under Much Grace looks at Proverbs 20:30, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly” and explores What Jesus Said About the “Blueness of the Wound.”

And on a totally unrelated note, I liked what Bob Bixby said about teachers being held accountable for their teachings and not being able to hide behind Matthew 18 when someone speaks out against their teachings.  As far as I know, Michael Pearl has never mentioned Matthew 18 in this context, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone were to read what James MacDonald said and apply it to him.

More 52 Tool Cards Posts

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) adds to her 52 Tool Card series with

52 Tool Cards: Winning Cooperation and

52 Tool Cards Double Feature: Connection Before Correction and Closet Listening.

The Vision Forum’s Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy, 16-21: Education, Transformation, and Control

Note: This is an edited and collated version of a series of posts that I made at Free Jinger in August 2011.

For much of my life, my encounters with U.S. fundamentalist Christianity were sporadic and bewildering.  I started digging into the roots of the fundamentalist mindset when I became a homeschooler and a Sunday school teacher.  As many of us have discovered, fundamentalism has become prevalent in both fields of endeavor–particularly homeschooling.

Fundamentalism, of course, is not a monolithic entity, but different fundamentalist groups share many common traits.  A particularly disturbing common trait is the fundamentalist use of exegesis.  In short, it stinks.  This incompetence exists right at the foundation: not only in interpretation, but also in basic reading comprehension.  This is a disturbing [Read more…]