Christian arguments against the Pearls' teachings.
Liz Boltz Ranfeld explains why she and her husband Don’t Spank Their Kid in a well thought out post. She has 5 main reasons which are fleshed out and explained.
1) Her child’s personality
2) Research
3) Occasional spanking so often turns into frequent spanking.
4) She’s not allowed to hit another adult; why should she be allowed to hit a child?
5) The scriptural support for corporal punishment is disturbing.
Sarah, of Under the Olive Branch, explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small. She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.
The United Church Observer has published an article called, To Spank Or Not to Spank, by Sarah Boesveld about the spanking controversy in Canada. While I am glad that the United Church of Canada has taken a public stand against spanking, I do not link to this as Christian arguments, but of interest as a news story. Canadian Evangelical, C.L. Dyke of Scita Scienda, explains why in a comment which I will reproduce here.
The greater context to this is that the UCC is a denomination which has thrown out orthodox (I use the word generically, not denominationally) Christian doctrine in favour of unbridled humanism. They actively disavow the deity of Jesus Christ and the authority of the Bible–scripture is a text to be interpreted by today’s shifting social customs, and filtered for generic principles common to human decency, rather than a narrative deserving of the same respect and scholarly approach as any other ancient text.
The quote in the article about supporting the oppressed lines up to this:
–Support anti-spanking
–Support homosexual advocacy and lobbying
–Support abortion (hmm, an interesting clash of principle occurs here)
–Reject the deity of Jesus Christ and His calling upon humankind to repent of sin and accept personal, substitutionary salvation based on Christ’s atonement; eject pastors who preach it.
Meanwhile, Canadian law is already very pro-child.
In writ, it is illegal to spank under the age of 2 or over the age of 12; it is illegal to leave so much as a red mark; it is illegal to spank with an implement.
In practice, spanking of any kind has the potential to incur social services intervention.
As someone who is anti-Pearl and pro-attached/gentle parenting, but not anti-spanking across the board, I feel the scales are already sufficiently balanced against the principles of individual freedom in our country’s legal system.
While the compassion expressed for Hana Williams’ horrific death is only appropriate, the UCC’s word is pretty tainted to me as a Canadian evangelical. I’m not sure how we are to see the brokenness of humanity healed without Christ.
The UCC’s solution is moral relativism and socialism. Given the (for now) fringe push on the far left to accept pedophilia under the guise of “children’s sexual rights,” that approach doesn’t avail for me as a guarantor of children’s rights and safety in this life, all eternal considerations aside.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
In the last part of this series we saw how teaching children to equate love with pain can cause them to become sadomasochistic. We also saw how spanking children, even when done “lovingly” and the “right way,” causes many children to struggle with depression, guilt, and shame as having pain intentionally inflicted on them by their parents never makes them feel positive about themselves. In this concluding piece of this series, we will see how spanking keeps the vicious cycle of abuse and authoritarian parenting going for generations unless one fights against it. New research shows that children that are physically punished/abused can develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome as they deny and repress their pain. Also, I will be showing that intentionally inflicting pain on children causes brain damage as the brain gets rewired due to experiencing pain and trauma throughout childhood. Many parents do not realize how vulnerable the young, developing brain is. Finally, I will be explaining the Scientific Method of conducting research in order to disprove the claim of a great deal of pro-spankers that all the research proving spanking is harmful is somehow biased. I hope this series further proves that spanking did not come from God otherwise none of these harmful effects would ever occur.
The Cycle of Abuse and Authoritarian Parenting—“My parents spanked me and I survived and so will my children!”
[Read more...]
A new study showing that spanking damages children has put spanking back into the news. This article in the San Francisco Chronicle about this new study mentions Michael Pearl.
Teresa from Teresa’s Whine And Cheese takes a good look at claims that Kids Today Are Worse Then they Used To Be in Correlation, causation, and the proof in the pudding.
Pastor Tim of Way Point Church discusses discerning the Biblical view in Biblical Christianity in which he states “[The Pearls'] claim to have a biblical view on parenting is delusional.”
Samuel Martin looks how Christian Scholars and Preachers Disagree on Spanking Children and explains what the commonly used verses in Proverbs are really saying.
And here is a bonus link. While completely off topic for this blog, I found this video interesting. Someone took an informal poll at a college campus asking the question, “Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?“ The answers might surprise you.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
In the previous piece we discovered that fear is the main effect of corporal punishment that all children experience despite the Bible clearly stating that fear is not from God. We also saw in the previous piece that “loving, godly” spankings are indeed harmful to children despite what many pro-spankers continue to claim. The research and numerous anecdotes (personal stories) show that hitting “in love,” and in the Name of God often has damaging effects on children even if they deny and repress these effects. In this piece we will be discussing an effect of “lovingly” spanking that has only recently come to my attention. Many people are unaware of the fact that “love” spankings causes sexual problems for children and adults as they seek to turn something painful and out of their control into something pleasant and somewhat controllable. This brief discussion may cause discomfort. We will also discuss how physical punishment often leads to depression, shame, and guilt as spanking never makes one feel good about oneself.
“Love” Spankings Continued—“Children are not sexual beings.”
Many people, in general, believe the above statement to be true. While children do not understand sexuality in the way that adults do, they have the ability at birth to become somewhat aroused and to feel pleasure. This is why young children very innocently explore their bodies during diaper changes and baths. This is a very normal and healthy part of the young child’s development. By the age of two, most young children are beginning to notice the differences between males and females and will ask questions out of pure curiosity. Simple, honest answers are all that young children want and need. While a child’s budding sexuality should be respected, their innocence and purity must be protected. [Read more...]
In this interview in the National Post, Pearl is quoted as saying:
But, I have said many times, when a spanking is not working, stop doing it. There are times when children become so emotionally torn that they have ceased all cognitive activity. Spanking is then counterproductive.
Frankly, I don’t recall him every saying that. If he has published this sentiment, I would like to know where because this quote needs much exposure. His followers need to be aware that he says this because this could really make a difference in the life of some children and maybe even save a life. Although, it is still rather vague, it is a step in the right direction.
Edited to add: Apparently Pearl was referring to this article where he said
You should not spank beyond your fellowship with the child. If you feel that your spanking is excessive, it is because it is not working. If it is not working to produce happy, creative kids, then you are missing one of the other elements we discussed. You have probably forgotten how to relax and enjoy your children. Or perhaps you have failed to train. The bottom line is that if other things are equal, and you give a child a spanking every time he needs it, the time will soon come when he will not need to be spanked so often, and eventually not at all.
More doublespeak. In the next breath he accuses them of failing to train properly and promises that if you are consistent things will get better. He have seen him accuse people of deliberately misunderstanding his meaning, but I really feel that he is vague and expecting people to make mental leaps which not all people are able to make.
Also, if anyone knows where he got these statistics which he quotes, I’d be interested. Was it from the research study or somewhere else?
Research has shown that the properly trained, nurtured and spanked child scores higher on all positive measures both as a child and as an adult. Spanking as part — a small part — of a comprehensive nurturing process instills self control and disciplined in a child, rendering him more emotionally stable and balanced as an adult. Every child was spanked up until Dr. Spock. Now only about 75% are spanked with no malice aforethought, and another 20% are occasionally spanked or hit by angry out of control parents that profess not to believe in it…
In his interview on AC360 Mr. Pearl mentioned the same research on spanking and Anderson Cooper delves deeper into that in another segment. Before linking I want to warn you that it opens with the very upsetting video of Judge William Adams beating his daughter. After that it recaps prior interviews with Michael Pearl and then moves on to Dr. Drew Pinsky and Po Bronson talking to Anderson Cooper about the science behind physically disciplining children. In The Science of Spanking, Anderson Cooper asks Dr. Drew Pinsky and Po Bronson what they think of the Pearl method and it should come as no surprise that they did not find it healthy in any way, shape or form.
The only problem with this interview is that they make a big point of discussing how spanking in anger is even more damaging. This will probably cause Pearl and most of his followers to argue that spanking without anger will cause no damage at all. They are so very wrong. But then of course, Pearl and his followers tend to discount science except for when it supports their beliefs so it’s probably a moot point.
Marianna Klebanov, has an article in the San Mateo Parenting Examiner about The “Ministry” of Michael and Debi Pearl.
What are the effects of spanking? Is it true that as long as one does it the “right, loving, godly” way that there are no harmful effects to the child? Are the research studies claiming that spanking is harmful biased and inaccurate? What about the studies claiming that not all spankings are harmful? These are just a few of the questions I will explore throughout this series. We have already explored why Scripture or God does not support using physical punishment with our children despite what many Christian pro-spankers say. We have read many stories of parents trying to do the right thing for their children, but harmed or killed them in the process all because satan had tricked them into believing that using physical punishment was what God wanted. In this series, we will hear from many who were spanked as children and how it affected them and their relationships with God. If God hasn’t spoken to hearts in my previous series, I pray He will with this series. Please, allow God to speak to you as you read this series. He will not condemn you.
My Story
I have touched on my story here and there throughout my series, but I haven’t actually told my story until now. What I am about to write is quite difficult for me. Parts of it my own husband didn’t even know. But I am trusting God to use my pain for His Glory. I grew up in a non-active Christian home. We had Jesus figurines and the Ten Commandments on the wall, but we didn’t go to church. I had Bibles and Bible storybooks, but God was not emphasized. I was born with severe Cerebral Palsy. When I was born, I did not breathe for roughly 40 minutes. The doctors were about to give up on me but my dad about punched one of them and told them not to give up on me. I’m grateful God did not let my dad allow the doctors to give up on me. God had/has a plan for me. [Read more...]
Twitter
Facebook
email
Print
Tumblr
Digg
del.icio.us
StumbleUpon
Add to favorites
Reddit
Recent Comments