Discipline = Punishment? Really?

Dara Stoltzfus looks at the question, if discipline equals punishment, why does (Self) Discipline not equal (Self) Punishment ?

Reb Bradley

Latebloomer was raised in Reb Bradley’s church, Hope Chapel, and is one of the Sheltered, Controlled Homeschoolers who “didn’t ‘turn out right,’ yet another disappointment to the former parents and leadership of Hope Chapel.”  She shares some important insights about this in “Biblical” Parenting, Introduction.  (By the way, I was surprised to see Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz mentioned in this post.)

This post is the introduction to series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley’s book “Child Training Tips”.  In this series of posts she looks at how this kind of parenting is “damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of authority and submission.”

Each Post in her series focuses on one criticism.

Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst in which we see the concept of adversarial relationships taken to new levels.

Criticism #2: Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child’s mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood
in which we learn how his teaching grooms perfect victims for child predators by breaking the child’s will, removing their sense of bodily ownership and teaching them that they must respect and obey anyone older than themselves.

Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts through Spanking in which we learn about his teachings on spanking which take abuse to new levels as well as his “severe misunderstanding of the Bible and serious scholarly negligence.”

Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates In Order to Control in which we learn that he teaches parents to isolate their children from the world and the results of such isolation.

Conclusion

Dealing With Big Feelings

MorningGloryGirl has a post at Dare To Disciple about Dealing With Children’s Big Feelings.

Disequilibrium

Carissa Robinson explains the concept of Disequilibrium and what it looks like for her 3 yr old who is Swiftly Approaching Disequilibrium.  This concept is from a series of books by Louise Bates Ames & Frances L. Ilg about what age appropriate behavior you can expect from children at each age.  Learning about this is very valuable as it allows her to make a game plan which she helpfully shares with us.

Spiritual Roots

Dulce de Leche looks at the Spiritual Roots of discipline.

Control Your Behavior

Pearl In Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with Control  Your  Behavior. This is something to keep in mind as I have also noticed that I tend to set the tone for the family.

Limited Choices and Leading by Example

Pearl In Oyster (PIO) continues her 52 Tool Cards series with Limited Choices.

While I’m on the subject of Gentle Parenting, I would like to mention this Post from The Hippie Housewife: Lead by Example.

The Messy Process of Growing

Carissa Robinson explains that we can’t expect grace filled parenting to be neat and easy in Growing Up Should Be Messy.

More About What Gentle Parenting Is

Greenegem from Dare To Disciple explains what being a Gentle Christian Mamma looks like in It’s Really Quite Simple…

Meanwhile, on the same blog, Lucy explains that when it comes to parenting, One Size Does Not Fit All.

Gentle Parenting of Teens

Lucy tells us how she gently parents her teenager at Dare to Disciple.

Along similar lines, Virginia Is For Mothers has written a post about using Calm Words with our children rather than yelling and/or scolding.  This is a good reminder for all of us.

Meanwhile, Under Much Grace continues with her series analyzing the Schatz Tragedy.  It occurs to me that this series should probably be read by the Schatzes defense attorneys.