Effects of Punitive Parenting

Dara Stoltzfus reflects on how punitive parenting has affected her inner being in I was spanked and I’m NOT OK: Why and what I do.

And just for fun, the Honest Toddler explains why it is futile to force your toddler to apologize. I know that this is meant to be funny, but there is an underlying element of truth to this and something to consider.   Here is more of the Toddler’s Eye View on life.

Bringing Out The Best In Our Children

Sara Mae shares how spanking was affecting her 2 1/2 year old’s self esteem and why she and her husband decided to stop in How Gentleness Makes Our Children Great.

Dara Stoltzfus also has noticed the importance of  a child’s self-worth and explains how we can encourage their inner beauty in Princes and Princesses on the Inside.

 

 

Your Attitude Towards Your Children

Rach at the Incorrigible Gingers discusses how labeling children can be harmful in My Toddler Is Not Bad.

On a similar note Aubry, of My Offerings, discusses healthy and unhealthy attitudes towards children in Why Potty Training Changed My Life.

And Dulce de Leche continues with her 10 Commandments for Parents series with Honor Your Father and Your Mother in which she also discusses the difference between obedience and compliance.

Watch Thy Tongue

Dulce de Leche shares a post about our words and the power they hold over our children.

Understanding Brainwashing and How Children Are Primed for Victimization

Cindy of Under Much Grace takes informative and very technical looks at abusive behavior, analyzing both the victims and the abusers.

She has a new series about brainwashing.  I want to make special note of part 7  in which she ties the information to the Pearls’ teachings. Here is a short summary which she wrote for me:

I think of it in terms of developmental milestones and such, and most all learning is experiential for a child for the first 36 months and is primarily all on the right side of the brain, entirely self-centered and oriented toward felt sense.

Children under the age of two only make Delta waves on EEG, the same brainwave that an adult makes while they sleep. From two to six, they make only theta waves which is what an adult generates just before falling asleep, basically. The plotting that Pearl talks about is a fast brainwave that doesn’t manifest in a child until they approach age twelve.

I would also like to draw your attention to the posts after part X which are about how the mindset of many families prime children for victimization.

Now, on the the entire series:

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part I

A Sychophant for a Sociopath Does Damage Control: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part II

Another Example of Transformed Memory in Response to Psychological Stress and Interpersonal Pressure in a POW Camp: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part III

Lifton on Reaffirming the Myth and How Adults and Children Respond: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part IV

Steven Martin on the Heresy of Mind Control in Christian Churches: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part V

Steven Martin on the Role of Denial in the Altering of Memory: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VI

Altered States of Consciousness Resulting from Trauma and Environmental Factors and Brainwave States Associated with Childhood Growth and Development: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VII

Post Traumatic Stress as a Physical Process and the Inadequacies of Some Types of Biblical Counseling: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VIII

Additional Factors Contributing to Doctrine Over Person Pressures at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part IX of X (Summary and Review)

The Effects of Trauma and Abuse at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part X of X

She follows up this series with a related series about Understanding the Role of Childhood Emotional Development in Spiritual Abuse.

 

Behaviorism at the Root of Child Training

Carissa Robinson explains that “If you observe most recommended Christian parenting practices today, you might be surprised to discover a secular influence: behavioral psychology” in Awaken Their Hearts.

Meanwhile, Greenegem explains the error in thinking that we have to DO anything more than believe in order to be saved in No Assembly Required.

Towel folding


The Peaceful Housewife has a very thought provoking post about the messages we give our children about themselves when their efforts are never good enough in Towel Folding Lessons.  We must be careful because this is what she discovered:

I was passing along my perfectionist, performance-based tendencies and my codependency to my sweet, innocent little girl by sending her the message that nothing that she did was good enough.  I was unintentionally telling her that she’s not good enough, she’s not able to trust herself to do well and that she needs to seek the approval of others in order to feel good about herself.

I should also mention that I added a new response to my Letters to Dobson post.