Escaping Abuse

Kathryn Joyce has an article about young adults who were homeschooled by controlling, fundamentalist parents called, The Homeschool Apostates.

Cindy Kunsman shares about how she came to realize that she was involved in an abusive church in, When your Religious Leader Falls Off the Pedestal.

You also might be interested in Cindy’s post about Understanding the Cycle of Spiritually Abusive Groups.

Cindy’s series continues with After the Epiphany Moment: Making Sense of Your History in Light of Spiritual Abuse.

Is It Wrong To Speak Out Against Other Christians?

Cindy of Under Much Grace has posted a sermon by E.L. Bynum called, “IS IT RIGHT: To Judge, To Expose Error, and To Call Names?” I am so glad she did because I, too, have been told that it is wrong of me to speak out against other Christians. When I gently explain that I am only exposing false teachings, they generally have no response. In this sermon, Brother Bynum explains that:

I. It Is Right To Practice Biblical Judgment
II. It Is Right To Expose False Teachers
III. It Is Right To Name Names

Also check out her  post about Considering the Biblical Model of Examining Behavior to Identify a Spiritual Abuser .

I would also like to share Paul Proctor’s essay about whether we are required to apply Matthew 18 before exposing false teachers.

Understanding Brainwashing and How Children Are Primed for Victimization

Cindy of Under Much Grace takes informative and very technical looks at abusive behavior, analyzing both the victims and the abusers.

She has a new series about brainwashing.  I want to make special note of part 7  in which she ties the information to the Pearls’ teachings. Here is a short summary which she wrote for me:

I think of it in terms of developmental milestones and such, and most all learning is experiential for a child for the first 36 months and is primarily all on the right side of the brain, entirely self-centered and oriented toward felt sense.

Children under the age of two only make Delta waves on EEG, the same brainwave that an adult makes while they sleep. From two to six, they make only theta waves which is what an adult generates just before falling asleep, basically. The plotting that Pearl talks about is a fast brainwave that doesn’t manifest in a child until they approach age twelve.

I would also like to draw your attention to the posts after part X which are about how the mindset of many families prime children for victimization.

Now, on the the entire series:

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part I

A Sychophant for a Sociopath Does Damage Control: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part II

Another Example of Transformed Memory in Response to Psychological Stress and Interpersonal Pressure in a POW Camp: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part III

Lifton on Reaffirming the Myth and How Adults and Children Respond: Understanding Doctrine Over Person Part IV

Steven Martin on the Heresy of Mind Control in Christian Churches: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part V

Steven Martin on the Role of Denial in the Altering of Memory: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VI

Altered States of Consciousness Resulting from Trauma and Environmental Factors and Brainwave States Associated with Childhood Growth and Development: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VII

Post Traumatic Stress as a Physical Process and the Inadequacies of Some Types of Biblical Counseling: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part VIII

Additional Factors Contributing to Doctrine Over Person Pressures at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part IX of X (Summary and Review)

The Effects of Trauma and Abuse at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part X of X

She follows up this series with a related series about Understanding the Role of Childhood Emotional Development in Spiritual Abuse.

 

The Full Interview with Meg Mosley (Free for a Limited Time Only)

C.L. Dyck  posted an excerpt of her interview with Meg Moseley about isolationism, spiritual abuse and TTUAC at Scita Scienda awhile back. The full article is in a Kindle/Nook/PDF ezine that’s on free promo only during January 2012:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/117438  use promo code LM52Z at checkout. Good till Jan. 31st.

Showing Compassion To The Deceived

This blog has always tried to argue against false teachings without making those using those teachings feel condemned. That is a delicate balance and not always possible to achieve. It is not at all pleasant to find out that the choices one has prayerfully made are considered to be abuse by many people. And upon discovering that one has in fact made a terrible mistake and has fallen into an abusive lifestyle is gut wrenching. Not only does one have to come to grips with the fact that one has been deceived and spiritually abused, but one must face the fact that one has been abusing his or her own children. Often, by the time this discovery is made serious or even irreparable damage has been done to the parent/child relationship. Someone posted to my Facebook wall the following:

I just wanted to share my status update with you. Since learning the dangers of TTUAC a year ago, I have had the hardest year of my life. Right now things are getting a lot worse. I have had a response from another mother who is in the midst of the same pain right now.

TTUAC is not just abusing children. It is also abusing [Read more…]

Hephzibah House on CNN

Under Much Grace reports all about CNN’s coverage of Hephzibah House complete with video and links to the transcript.  She highlights outtakes from the transcripts on her blog.

Understanding Biblical Gender Equality

Hope Abigail Freeman wrote to me saying

…I have written a new book called “Understanding Biblical Gender Equality”, which is free to read online at the website http://www.WalkinTruth.net

It’s brand new, the site just launched recently, and it should be available in paperback soon also. If you take a look you can see, I’m trying to “take back” 3 John 1:4.

I was in a very spiritually abusive relationship, domestic violence situation for 6 years.  As soon as I became a Christian I fell into a hole of abusive patriarchy, and it took years of the Holy Spirit working with me to get out of that hole.  This book is a compilation of what I have learned from the Bible in that process.

The book takes a very conservative methodology of scriptural analysis, and has a heavy emphasis on helping women to recognize abuse, and that God loves them and wants better for them.

Letter to a family considering ATI

Robin shares her experiences with ATI (Bill Gothard’s teachings) in this Letter She Wrote to a Family Considering ATI.

Does God Want Us To Break Their Wills?

Elizabeth  Esther has  a post which discusses the idea that Even God Does Not Break Our Will.

Along the same lines, The Wartburg Watch has reposted a letter from Bob Dixon explaining Why He Finally Left Sovereign Grace Ministries After 30 years.

ABC News Exposes Abuse in some IFB Churches

ABC News Exposes Alleged Abuse in some IFB Churches on this News Video. The Schatz story is mentioned as well as the recent Lori Wick Child Abuse Scandal.  Brian Fuller of Trinity Baptist Church condemns the abuse and insists that not all IFB churches are the same.  I agree with him, as my Independent Fundamental Baptist church is nothing like that either.  The very fact that they are Independent shows that they are not all the same.  But I digress.  This video is a tease for tonight’s episode of 20/20 which aired Friday April 8, 2011

More links:

What John Piper Says About Spanking

Rachel had an in depth look at what John Piper says about Spanking but she has since closed her blog to the public.  Please check out my John Piper tag.

Also, check out what Barefoot Betsy says here.

Spiritual Abuse

Molly reviews and processes chapters 3 and 4 of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse; Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority within the Church By Jeff VanVonderan, and David Johnson.

Speaking of spiritual abuse here are the signs of a Toxic Movement again.

Does Punishment Really Produce Godly Character?

I just found out about the group known as the Assembly under the ministry of George and Betty Geftakys. I had not heard of them before this, but as they were using the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl (as well as Fugate and Ezzo,) they are of interest.  Apparently, they are another cultic and spiritually abusive group.   In fact, Betty Geftakys had her own pamphet about child training which almost makes the Pearl’s training methods look mild by comparison.

The post I want to highlight today is from Meg, a former member of that group,  and is entitled, Does Discipline Really Produce Godly Character…?

Bethany Breaks Free

Bethany Basset, of Coffee Stained Clarity, reflects on the sadness she feels at finding out that her high school friends are following the Pearls’ teachings.

I see that Bethany was raised in the VF/Patriarchy mindset.  She posts her story in 5 parts:

The Preface: The Stuff of Brains
Part 1: The Net
Part 2: The Reality
Part 3: The Hope
Part 4: The Outcome

And she has an epilogue about parenting with grace here.  I love a happy ending.  <3

Count Your Blessings

Rachel has written a post called, Count Your Blessings, in which she reflects back on her patriocentric childhood and her escape from that mindset.

Quivering Daughters

Sister Lisa has written an interesting review of Quivering Daughters in her blog, Soul Liberty Faith. This blog post is mainly about spiritual abuse but she does mention Lydia Schatz.