Christian arguments against the Pearls' teachings.
Michael Pearl’s teachings are being discussed in the blogosphere again.
Rick Morton responds to Jonathan Merritt’s Analysis of Michael & Debi Pearl’s “Child Training” & The “Adoption Fever” Dialogue in this post.
Morgan Guyton discusses Why He Would Fail Michael And Debi Pearl’s Parenting Class.
Sylvia shares her testimony and Her Thoughts On Spanking in this post, the link to which I found in the comments of Rachel Held Evan’s post, The Abusive Teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl.
Dara Stoltzfus has 2 recent posts of interest.
In Michael Pearl is right about training kids like dogs! she discusses pain and it’s usefulness in training children and dogs.
In Crying over a Spanish Soap Opera!!! she discusses how raising children by learned traditions instead of by science and truth can damage them.
Recovering Grace promotes Tim Challies’ review of Created To Be His Help Meet. Also, someone brings up his review of To Train Up A Child in the comments and discussion of the Pearls ensues which might be of interest to my readers.
Also, White Stone, of Wanna Walk Along, discusses Tim Challies’ Review of To Train Up A Child while explaining exactly why she blames the Pearls’ teachings for the deaths of 3 children.
After his review of Created To Be His Help Meet a few days ago, Tim Challies has decided to review To Train Up A Child, which he does in 2 parts:
Tim Challies Review of To Train Up A Child Part 1 in which he looks at training versus discipline, and his concerns with Pearl’s training.
Tim Challies Review of To Train Up A Child Part 2 in which he looks at the innocent child, the redemptive rod, and gives his conclusion.
Home Educating Family Magazine has published an opinion piece about the Duggars and the teachings they follow (Gothard, S. M. Davis and Pearl) called, They Smile, but Do They Laugh?
Polish Anti-Spanking Community Książki nie do bicia left a comment on my Facebook page saying,
Hi! We would like to inform you that the publishing of a book “To train up a child” (and one more) has been withdrawn Poland (by the publisher).
There are some other books like that (Fugate, Dobson, Smalley, Barnes) in Poland, but we hope that they will be withdrawn too.
We hope that all this books will be withdrawn everywhere!
This story is from February 2012, but I had not heard about it so I very much appreciate them sharing the news with us. Here is the news story they linked for me and here is an English translation of it. Of course, the translation is done by computer program, so it is not perfect, but gives us the idea.
This is very good news! The Polish Anti Spanking community has been working hard and have convinced a publisher to remove two books from circulation! ( the other book is Discipline Them, Love Them by Betty Chase.) I wish that could happen here, but To Train Up A Child in English is self-published by the Pearls. We are trying to get as many book sellers as possible to stop selling it. We have convinced quite a few and are still working on Amazon.com.
Ruvin, who blogs at By The Hui, has grave concerns about the Pearls’ teachings. She explains why in This is Christian Parenting?
Samuel Martin has posted a rebuttal to a quote Pearl made during his debate with Janet Heimlich in The Christian Post.
The Christian Post reports on and shows the video of the debate about Biblical Chastisement between Michael Pearl and Janet Heimlich. Be sure to read Teri’s rebuttal to Pearl in the comments below.
Speaking of debates, when Christian Today took their stand against spanking, they were criticized by Author and theologian Denny Burk.
Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas has uploaded a video from FOX News in which “SMU Psychology Professor George Holden, who specializes in child-parent relationships and positive child rearing, talks critically about Michael and Debi Pearl’s book “To Train Up A Child,” which advocates spanking.” More information about Professor Holden here.
My friend, Rebecca Diamond, brought this quote from Michael Pearl to my attention. It is from his website: Rodless Training from June 1999 (emphasis mine):
“There will be times when a spanking is appropriate. But you are prevented! Then use your power as the caretaker and dispenser of all privileges and responsibilities to make his actions totally counterproductive. If you can’t spank the flesh, starve it with an embargo. Stand your ground and do not let the little fellow find satisfaction in his pursuits. Stay on duty, demanding obedience until he surrenders his will to your persistence. If there is a way to deny him access to some means of indulgence that relates to the offense, then by all means as governor of the island on which he lives deny him normal privileges until he complies.”
The reason I find this quote so interesting is that the bolded reminds me so much of the Williams Tragedy. For more posts about the Williams see here.
Lauren Hensley, Investigative Reporter for CBS TV Station WVNS West Virginia, brings us Spare the Rod Part 1: Spanking in the Name of the Lord in which she interviews Mr. Pearl. In Spare the Rod Part 2: Local Pastors Challenge Biblical Backing she interviews local religious leaders about his teachings. Stay tuned for Part 3: The Effects of Corporal Punishment On A Child (tomorrow?).
Jill Monier, of FOX TV in Memphis Tennessee, brings us Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child? which is an in depth look at their book, To Train Up A Child. It includes some pretty disturbing quotes. As well as interviewing the Pearls, they interviewed Barbara King, the executive director of the Exchange Club in Memphis which offers a variety of programs to help Memphis area families breaking the cycle of abuse, and Elizabeth Stewart an adult niece who was also switched by the Pearls.
Tom Haynes, of My Fox Atlanta, brings us almost the same story in Investigators Link Book to Deaths of 3 Children.
Also, yesterday, Michael Pearl was on Dr. Drew’s show. Here is an Inside Look at that episode. Note that at the very end, Dr. Drew claims that he is still tender in the spot where Mr. Pearl spanked him.
Cindy of Under Much Grace explains the scientific evidence that shows the damage done to children who suffer harsh punishment from a young age. Parents who follow Pearls’ advice to punish toddlers for age appropriate behaviors may end up with seemingly happy and compliant children, but at what price?
Former Pearl follower Becky, from Created To Be His, shares a letter she wrote explaining her concerns with the Pearls and their teachings. In this letter she also explains what these teachings have to do with the death of Lydia Schatz and includes quotes from the book.
I heard a couple of weeks ago that Michael Pearl was scheduled to be on the Today Show. Well, I don’t know if this is related to that or not, but MSNBC’s Today Moms Blog is discussing his teachings in Controversy grows over pro-spanking book after abuse deaths.
Update: Michael Pearl was on NBC’s Today Show on the morning of Dec 28, 2011.
While I don’t like to link to sites like this, I really feel that this needs to be shown. I have come across a video (removed by NGJ by Copyright Claim) which was clearly designed to make Michael Pearl look bad. Someone managed to get a recording of the Q & A part of one of Michael Pearl’s teaching sessions which took place in The Church At Cane Creek and edited out everything Mr. Pearl might have said that made sense leaving small clips which appear to be the ravings of a mad man. I am sure that many will insist that the statements and actions in the video were taken out of context and put together in such a way as to make him look bad. I am therefore asking for volunteers to explain to me how these things were manipulated and what the true context really was. If they were jokes, they really do not seem to me jokes becoming for a man of God, especially the part where he grabs the “child” doll and smashes his face onto the desk a few times and chuckles. I could say the same for his apparent arrogance. Here are some other quotes I would like explained:
“If he screams too hard with the first 5… gets hysterical… Wait… You know, a little psychological terror sometime will affect even the pain.” Said while waiving a switch over the rag doll’s behind. He couldn’t possibly be advocating using psychological terror on your child, could he?
“Thumping them on the head? You’re worried about that??? [turns to wife] Give me another question.” I’m trying to figure out how this quote was used in a Biblical context and falling short. I’m sure that someone will have an answer for me.
“If your husband is an angry man, make love to him, make him happy.” This seems to be the advice given to a wife who asks how to deal with a husband who only disciplines in anger. It would seem that he is saying that his anger is his wife’s fault because she is not giving him enough sex. But I must be misunderstanding, because that does not sound Biblical to me.
[switching rag doll] “So I give them 5 more, so now get up” [makes doll sit, it's showing a frown] “Still got a bad attitude” [whack whack whack] “Get up” [checks again, still frowning] “I’m going to say, ‘You’re still crying… I’m going to give you something to cry about.” This sounds like he’s saying to keep on switching the child until he stops crying. I’m sure he must say at some point when to stop switching because they are making it look like this could go on for a long time. And why would a man of God teach parents that they should punish a child until he pretends to be happy? For the child to force himself to smile and pretend to be happy means that the child must pretend be something he is not, the very definition of hypocrisy. Surely he is not advocating forcing a child to sin! Our Lord, Jesus Christ, reserved His harshest condemnation for hypocrites.
I am trying very hard not to judge unfairly. This video comes from a secular source and was clearly edited to cast Mr. Pearl in a negative light. My purpose here is to provide arguments to counter his teachings, not to slander him. This is clearly a hatchet job, I need to know what his arguments really are in order to counter them. For that reason I linked to the video (removed by NGJ by Copyright Claim) so that someone can explain this to me.
Update: The video which was linked above used to be on YouTube but was removed by NGJ for copyright infringement. I had linked to it on EverythingIsTerrible.com and they had it removed from there as well. I’m still waiting for them to answer my questions.
Update: The Mudracker has posted the video starting at 1:17 of his video, Michael Pearl Censors The Internet. The intro contains some language so if that bothers you, please feel free to skip to minute 1:17.
Update: More info about this here.
Elizabeth Esther explains the mindset which causes a lot of the damage in the Pearl’s teachings in If it feels good, it’s sinful.
Cindy at Under Much Grace reminds us, “Barring some other major news event that bumps the story, Michael Pearl is slated to appear on NBC’s Today Show sometime between 8 and 11 AM tomorrow, December 7th, to discuss the controversial child abuse deaths linked to his book, To Train Up a Child.”
Cindy also discusses the question, Pearl’s Parallels to the Milgram Study.
The Anderson Show has run in all areas of the country and I have yet to find more than clips of it. The entire show is not much more than the clips, but it would be really nice to have it all in one place and in context. If anyone recorded the show, please post it on YouTube and send me the link. I will update this request when I have more info.
BlogHer Network Interviews Elizabeth Esther about her appearance with Michael Pearl on Anderson Cooper’s daytime Talk Show today (Monday for Los Angeles Viewers).
See a promo here.
Many bloggers are promoting this episode:
Elizabeth Esther Faces Michael Pearl On Anderson by Free By His Grace
The abusive teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl hurt both women and children by Rachel Held Evens.
Keeping Up with Michael Pearl: Interview on Anderson (Cooper’s) Talk Show TODAY (and Pearl’s appearance on Dr. Drew And AC360 and in the NYT….) by Under Much Grace. (I am grateful for her kind words about this site).
Also, Under Much Grace shares about another Anderson 360 episode from CNN which aired on October 25 which I seem to have missed. Anyway, the transcript she shares has things in it I had not seen, namely an update about the Willams.
Here is CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s Interview with Michael Pearl (Part II: August 2011)
and here is Michael Pearl’s Interview with Dr. Drew on CNN October 2011 both by Under Much Grace
Speaking of Under Much Grace, she has posted an index to her Why Good People Make Dangerous Choices (Pondering Michael Pearl and Lydia Schatz) series.
Elizabeth Esther will be appearing on Anderson Cooper’s new daytime talk show (on FOX) with Michael Pearl this Friday (Dec 2, 2011) and she writes about it here, My appearance on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show airs this Friday, Dec. 2nd #NoMoreDeadKids. She includes a link to find out where and when you can watch it in your area. And here is a promo for the show.
Here is another recent post where she explains why many people follow Pearls’ teachings: Seductive promise of perfectly happy, obedient children feeds abuse.
Michael will appear with Anderson Cooper on Friday Dec 2, 2011. I assume that this will be the long awaited episode of which Elizabeth Esther spoke.
Meanwhile, Alexandra Ossola has made a petition asking the American Family Association to denounce the book To Train Up a Child as it advocates legitimized abuse.
I have heard about this letter from various sources and have decided to link to this one because she also includes her well written Amazon Review.
The Amish are in the news again and this time not for helping to inspire Michael Pearl’s teachings. I have mentioned before how susceptible people can be to following false teachers and cult leaders. Well, now we find an Amish cult leader. Updated info here.
Cindy of Under Much Grace explains more about how people fall into cult thinking in The Counter-Cult Bias Against the Anti-Cult Perspective: Hank Hanegraaff’s Re-Victimization of Teen Mania Protestors and All Those Who Overcome Spiritual Abuse.
In case you were wondering, Hank Hanegraaff was reacting to a documentary on MSNBC on Nov 6, 2011 about Cult Exit and Cult Recovery.
Speaking of cults, here is another exposure of abuse in the name of God. When will it end? *sigh*
An article in The Christian Post reports that ‘Marriage for Today’ Hosts, Rev. Mike Fox and his wife, Trisha, have been using the Pearls’ teachings to raise their daughter and are scheduled to appear on CNN to defend Michael Pearl.
Because Christians did not stand up and condemn the dangerous teachings of the Pearls, they ended up in the public eye. I had always had a policy of keeping them a secret from non-believers and focusing on Christians, but once the third child died, the proverbial cat was out of the bag. I do not make a habit of linking what the non-believers say about Pearl since they do not make arguments which are relevant to Christians, however, when the Washington Post reports on the Pearls I figure that is of interest as it is part of mainstream news. I see many more in smaller papers to which I do not link, but a simple Google search will find if you are interested. Some search terms to use would be, “Pearl Controversial book” or “Lydia Schatz Pearl”
Update: The ‘Marriage for Today’ Hosts have a new article on The Christian Post about their appearance on Anderson (aired Dec 2, 2011). The comments on this article are very interesting. I agree with many of the commenters that it is very unusual for a pro-spanker to quote someone from the Christian Domestic Discipline movement to give credibility to their arguments.
In this interview in the National Post, Pearl is quoted as saying:
But, I have said many times, when a spanking is not working, stop doing it. There are times when children become so emotionally torn that they have ceased all cognitive activity. Spanking is then counterproductive.
Frankly, I don’t recall him every saying that. If he has published this sentiment, I would like to know where because this quote needs much exposure. His followers need to be aware that he says this because this could really make a difference in the life of some children and maybe even save a life. Although, it is still rather vague, it is a step in the right direction.
Edited to add: Apparently Pearl was referring to this article where he said
You should not spank beyond your fellowship with the child. If you feel that your spanking is excessive, it is because it is not working. If it is not working to produce happy, creative kids, then you are missing one of the other elements we discussed. You have probably forgotten how to relax and enjoy your children. Or perhaps you have failed to train. The bottom line is that if other things are equal, and you give a child a spanking every time he needs it, the time will soon come when he will not need to be spanked so often, and eventually not at all.
More doublespeak. In the next breath he accuses them of failing to train properly and promises that if you are consistent things will get better. He have seen him accuse people of deliberately misunderstanding his meaning, but I really feel that he is vague and expecting people to make mental leaps which not all people are able to make.
Also, if anyone knows where he got these statistics which he quotes, I’d be interested. Was it from the research study or somewhere else?
Research has shown that the properly trained, nurtured and spanked child scores higher on all positive measures both as a child and as an adult. Spanking as part — a small part — of a comprehensive nurturing process instills self control and disciplined in a child, rendering him more emotionally stable and balanced as an adult. Every child was spanked up until Dr. Spock. Now only about 75% are spanked with no malice aforethought, and another 20% are occasionally spanked or hit by angry out of control parents that profess not to believe in it…
In his interview on AC360 Mr. Pearl mentioned the same research on spanking and Anderson Cooper delves deeper into that in another segment. Before linking I want to warn you that it opens with the very upsetting video of Judge William Adams beating his daughter. After that it recaps prior interviews with Michael Pearl and then moves on to Dr. Drew Pinsky and Po Bronson talking to Anderson Cooper about the science behind physically disciplining children. In The Science of Spanking, Anderson Cooper asks Dr. Drew Pinsky and Po Bronson what they think of the Pearl method and it should come as no surprise that they did not find it healthy in any way, shape or form.
The only problem with this interview is that they make a big point of discussing how spanking in anger is even more damaging. This will probably cause Pearl and most of his followers to argue that spanking without anger will cause no damage at all. They are so very wrong. But then of course, Pearl and his followers tend to discount science except for when it supports their beliefs so it’s probably a moot point.
Lisa Belkin of The Huffington Post asks, Can Adoption Lead to Child Abuse?
Elizabeth Esther explains why we should hold the Pearls accountable for their teachings in Are the Pearls to blame for child spanking deaths?
Clay Duda of the Juvenile Justice Information Exchange takes a look at the history of corporeal punishment in Spanking at Home and in the Classroom, What’s Right and Wrong?
The story has gone international as this post in the Belfast Telegraph demonstrates.
In fact, the story is so big that even Psychology Today is writing about it.
Oh, and by the way, the NY Times Article and its spawns showed us the happy congregation and their happy children. Read Dulce De Leche’s explanation of why they look so happy.
J. Bryan Lowder of Slate Magazine read the Pearls’ book in order to answer the question, Did the Disturbing Philosophy of To Train Up a Child Lead to Hana Williams’ Death?
Megan Graham of The Daily Illini (Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Illinois) looks at To Train Up A Child and its influence as well as the issue of Free Speech in Parenting book missing childlike innocence.
Prof. William Webb (Author of the new book Corporal Punishment In The Bible) explains that The Pearls’ Teaching is “Gutter Theology.”
You might also be interested in these reviews of the above mentioned book.
Christine Minich takes a look at The Pearls’ Teachings in:
The Disturbing World of The Pearls in which she looks at Doublespeak and Definitions as well as some examples of his abusive teachings.
and The Disturbing World of The Pearls Part 2 in which she takes a look at their heretical Theology.
Also, TulipGirl tries to shed some light on the underlying philosophy of the Pearls’ Teachings with On The Pearls And Parenting, Once Again.
The Toronto Sun has an article about the Pearls’ Teachings in Was child abused to death due to advice from book?
Missizzy posted a Recipe For Disaster on the Websleuths.com message board which explains what happened to Lydia and Hanna. You might be interested in the rest of the conversation, it is really quite interesting. I hope it is ok for me to link to this. If anyone objects, please email me at hermanalinda@whynottrainachild.com and I will remove this entire paragraph.
I also thought I’d mention this post from Civil Thoughts about Adoption Education because that is so important.
More bloggers are analyzing the connections between the Pearls’ book, To Train Up A Child and the deaths of 3 children who were being raised by the methods therein.
Free By His Grace tells the story of Hana “Williams” in heart wrenching detail and warns against the teachings of TTUAC in Hana Williams: “Rebellion” or Reaction to Abuse?
QuicksilverQueen has started a detailed Book Review of To Train Up A Child and how it relates to the deaths. In this review she freely shares how being raised by these teachings affected her and what she was really feeling when her parents thought that she was joyously submissive.
Sadie Stein, writing for Jezebel, reports briefly on the Pearls and the deaths linked to their teachings in Another Child “Chastised” To Death.
Kathy Cassel of Cassel Crew explains her concerns with To Train Up A Child in (How Not) To Train Up a Child. Note that she does believe in spanking but more as a last resort than as a first and/or only tool.
The Disturbing World of The Pearls in which she looks at Doublespeak and Definitions as well as some examples of his abusive teachings.
and The Disturbing World of The Pearls Part 2 in which she takes a look at their heretical Theology.
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