Consequences and Examples

Dara Stoltzfus discusses the influence we have on our children in What Do Your Kids See You Doing?

While you’re at Dara’s blog, you will also want to read, her very thought provoking post, Kids need consequences to learn right from wrong, don’t they?! in which she considers two possible responses to a child stealing and considers which would teach the child more.

Dara Explains Natural Consequences

Note from Hermana Linda: Pam continues to ask thought provoking questions about how one can raise children without spanking. In This comment, she asks,

What do you mean by natural consequences? I think some of those are what I hoped for my children to avoid and why I view some punishment as a necessary part of discipline. Am I misunderstanding?

Dara Stoltzfus answered her question so well, I have asked her to reproduce her comment here. (Dara, I think I speak for everyone when I say, please don’t apologize for your many insightful words. ) [Read more…]

Pain and Punishment

Dara Stoltzfus looks at pain and whether or not is is useful for teaching.

Sarah’s Arguments Against Spanking

Sarah explains why she does not believe in spanking in a well researched and chatty post entitled, A person’s a person no matter how small.  She also answers some common arguments for spanking with counter arguments, which many will find helpful.

Discipline without Harm Part 1

In this series we will be looking at how to biblically discipline our children without inflicting pain on them or harming them in any way.  Some of the discipline strategies that we will be discussing throughout this series are modeling, child-proofing, validating feelings, fulfilling the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting realistic limits and boundaries, helping children comply, giving choices, and using natural and logical consequences with children.  The Bible says that we are to encourage each other (2 Corinthians 13:11).  All of the discipline strategies in this series do exactly that with our children.  In this first piece, we will be discussing authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting.  We will also discuss how to child-proof, modeling, and introducing God to our children.

Authoritative versus Permissive Parenting—Not Spanking does NOT Mean Wild, Rebellious Children

Pro-spankers often accuse or claim that parents who do not spank or use any type of punishment with their children of having wild and rebellious children.  This simply is not the case for parents that use the authoritative parenting style.  There seems to be much confusion over the three types of parenting styles.  We discussed the authoritarian parenting style in great detail in Part 6 of my series, “The Effects of Spanking,” which you will find in my new book, “Gentle Firmness.” As we begin to focus on how to gently but firmly discipline children, we need to examine the other two parenting styles: authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. [Read more…]

Logical Consequences vs Punishment

Pearl in Oyster (PIO) takes a look at Logical Consequences vs Punishment as she continues her 52 Tool Cards Series.

Bonus post:  Sibling Rivalry? From the Mouth of Babes.  <3

How Does God Respond To His Children When They Sin?

Carissa Robinson looks at how God Responds To His Children When They Sin.   Do we respond to our children the same way?

And to help us with that, Pearl in Oyster (PIO) explains how to use Natural Consequences in a gentle way as she continues her 52 Tool Card Series. This is a very important post as it is very easy to ruin the lesson with the wrong attitude.

Natural Consequences

Carissa Robinson discusses Natural Consequences and gives 2 examples to help us along in our journey to gentle parenting.

And don’t miss this very important explanation of how being upset causes us to access the flight or fight part of our brains in 52 Tool Cards: Understand the Brain on Pearl in Oyster (PIO)

 

 

Is Punishment Biblical?

Rach at The Incorrigible Gingers discusses the question, “Is Punishment Biblical?”  Notice that she is not just referring to corporal punishment here but all punishment.   Now, that is a really radical thought.

TTUAC: The Good, The Bad and The Shocking

Elizabeth, at Virginia Is For Mothers, reviews To Train Up A Child. In part 1 she shares her overall reaction which is mixed, and then what she found Good and Helpful about the book. I agree that there are some good and helpful messages in that book. To say otherwise is to put up a wall between us and those who are so taken by the good that they downplay the bad or don’t see it at all. There is a lot of good and that is what makes the book so dangerous. Nobody would eat a bitter tasting poison, it needs to be mixed with honey if anyone is going to eat it. And yes, this is is a very good honey.

But Elizabeth is not fooled. She says:

Here’s what I think about To Train Up A Child: SIGH….these people are such a mixed bag of normalcy and wisdom with a whole lot of weird thrown in. It takes a lot of concentration to weed through the information and advice to find pieces that I think are reasonable and biblical. Once again, I did glean some encouragement and reminders to do what I already believe in doing. So, I’m going to start with that and later write about the (many) parts of the book that had me raising my eyebrows, cringing and picking my jaw up off the floor.

Which brings us to Part 2 in which she reminds people not to fall into the error of relying to heavily on one parenting method and then shares what she found Weird, Harsh and Downright Shocking.  She includes plenty of quotes to back up her conclusions.  I’m glad that she is participating in warning people about this book.

Behaviour Modification

This blog post is exactly one year old today. I am linking to it because I just found it and have always found this topic interesting.  Behaviour Modification: Punishment by Hippie Housewife.  Here is a quote:

…Every day I hear the same parenting advice – punishment and rewards, threats and praise, negative and positive attention. In other words, the very definition of behaviour modification.

Does it work? That depends on what your goals are. If your goal is to get your child to mind you, then yes, it quite often does. However, for our own family’s goals, we have chosen not to use this system of behaviour modification. I’d like to share our reasons for this choice, today focusing in particular on the punishment side, saving the rewards/praise aspect for another day…

Here is her follow up post Behaviour Modification: Praise to which she alluded in that quote.


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