Pearl’s Reaction To the Duggar Debacle

Pearl’s reaction to the problems the Duggars have faced fits his M.O. perfectly. He continues to give the same advice that the Duggars were already following and insists that it works, in spite of it not working for them. I don’t doubt that in his mind, the fact that it didn’t work is proof that they did not follow it correctly.  It appears that he cannot or will not consider the possibility that his methods don’t work.

Remembering Sean

Tulipgirl reminds us that it has been ten years since we lost Sean.

Remembering Lydia

This morning when I saw the date, I knew it was an anniversary, but I could not remember of what until Eric Pazdiziora reminded me. It’s been 6 years since we lost Lydia.  😥

Eric Pazdiziora wrote a musical piece in memory of Lydia.

Here is TulipGirl’s memorial tribute to Lydia.

Colleen’s Testimony

Coleen G. was nice enough  to share her testimony here on my blog.  I’m reposting it below so it won’t be missed.

I have seen the fruits of the Pearl’s methods in my own children and at another family that we know.

My friend tried to switch her toddler son until he was crying submissively and brokenly. She was horrified at how many times this needed to be done and each event required welting, bruises because he would not be broken until he no longer could stand the agony. She never switched like that again and never used their methods again. She had been following the techniques as described including the correct “tool”.

I too tried to follow their methods but I could not bring myself to hit that hard. I did not know of my friend’s sessions with her son at the time. That story came out to me years later. I have a temper problem and very strong willed children as well(I know now that is a blessing not a sin issue). While I tried very hard to not let my temper rule me it came out when I had to go through multiple sessions over many days about the same issues with the same child. Their “rebellion” was taken personally and fed my sinful anger problem. I was not seeing results with my young children they mostly just grew out of whatever development stage and corresponding behaviors that I had been taught vis the Pearl’s was disobedience.

God got a hold of me healing the sin-anger and showing me that my parenting methods were causing me to sin against my children even when I was not angry. The switch was chaotic and it took almost two years for relational healing. Yes I was/am a sinner who had a problem but the Pearl’s methods aggravated and intensified that sin issue compounding the damage I was doing. Yes I had the book, all the connected books. I had videos and the magazine subscription so I was well steeped in their methodology.

Having now stepped away from it all and truly studied both the bible and child development I can see that much of what they teach is toxic even for mild even tempered parent of equally tempered children. While bible-y in terminology it is not Christ-like and denies what is normal development as sin that must be punished out of a child for the convenience of the parents and the child’s future salvation.

I have lived with the fruit and it is a sour hellish thing fit only for those who like the Pharisees care more for control and rules than Love and sacrificial living towards the weaker.

 

Lisa’s Response to Debi Pearl’s Prayer for the destruction of her enemies

Lisa has said very well what I have had neither the time nor energy to write so I am going to give her comments the exposure they deserve.

In response to my post regarding Debi Pearl’s public prayer asking God to destroy her enemies, Lisa said:

I read the article, also, and I was appalled. A prayer should not ever need excuses for why it sounds like a prayer for another human being’s death.

What if they had asked God to open their eyes and hearts and show them ‘if there is any hurtful way in them, and lead them in the everlasting way’? What if they had asked God if they had a log in their eyes that they needed to remove in order to see more clearly? What if they had asked God to bless these people?

When Jesus said to pray for our enemies, I think he meant to pray for their good and their welfare. I think that if someone attacks you, the very first thing you should do is examine whether there is any merit to their complaint. After that, humble oneself and depend on God.

I think that to compare any human beings to attacking dogs is a mistake. The Psalms may contain references like this but these are preshadowings of Christ’s affliction. We are not Christ, and we are now in the New Testament and Christ has taught us to love our enemies and do good to those who would despitefully use us. None of the apostles, nor Steven, prayed for the death of their enemies.

Finally, if I had ever written a book that led 1 other person (much less 3) to abuse their child to the point of killing them, I would be devastated beyond description. I would take that book off the market and burn every copy and repent on my face before God. Wouldn’t you?

I replied and she then went on to say:
[Read more…]

Are the Pearls praying for the death of their enemies?

It would appear that the Pearls are facing legal problems over the damages their teachings have caused.  Vyckie Garrison reports on this in an article entitled, “Evangelical couple begs God to strike critics dead over child abuse claims.”

When I saw this article, was surprised. I feel that I know quite a bit about the Pearls and I know that they strive to be good Christians. I disagree with fundamental aspects of their teachings on child rearing to the point that I consider much of it dangerous. However, I do believe that they are sincerely trying to serve the Lord.  So, I read the article right away, looking for what Debi Pearl really said.

She starts out describing a time when Mr. Pearl was brutally attacked by dogs while serving the Lord. She explains how this was really a satanic attack. She then likens it to this new legal attack. She decries her attackers which she explains are also led by the forces of darkness. She then tells of a time when the Lord delivered them by destroying their attacker. She did not say that someone died, but it is easy to come to that conclusion. She exhorts her followers and ends by asking for prayer, giving her followers a sample prayer. Here the excerpt in question:

…we ask that you step in and bring down the evil that is set against Michael Pearl’s family. Bring to an end all those that testify in lies and deceit.

Now, I can totally see where people would interpret that to mean that they are asking for people’s death, but I also suspect that they would be shocked and offended at that interpretation.  I suspect that are asking for an end to the evil and that a change of heart would cause there to be no more people testifying against them. Of course, I can’t speak for them, but that is how I read their words.

Either way, the prayer is appalling. One of my commenters expressed why very well here.

There’s More To This Than Meets The Eye

Perhaps you have heard of Rachel Dolezal, she has been in the media a lot lately. She recently resigned from her posistion as NAACP leader after her parents informed the media that she was white. I had a feeling that there was something behind this all that we didn’t know, so I was not very surprised to find out that her parents trained her using the book, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. Here is the article from Homeschoolers Anonymous:

THE MEDIA IS DOING EXACTLY WHAT RACHEL DOLEZAL’S ABUSIVE HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS WANT

Speaking of “more than meets the eye,” I have not been posting much and I missed sharing a blog post which discusses a study about the damange corporal punishment does to a child’s brain.

And while I’m sharing things which went out through my Facebook Feed, but not here, some of you might be interested in these Tips for getting toddlers to cooperate while shopping from Purple Puzzle Place.

3rd Anniversary of Hana’s Passing

Maureen remembers Hana Alemu “Williams” and gives us a small update in Remembering Hana: May 12, 2011.

I should also mention that Feb 6 was the 5th anniversary of the passing of Lydia Schatz and Feb 26 was the 9th anniversary of the passing of Sean Paddock. May they rest in peace.

“To Train Up A Child” in New Zealand News

Eileen Joy and her petition have made the mainstream news in New Zealand after reaching 100,000 signatures.

Here is an article in the New Zealand Herald.

Here is an article from Auckland Now. (Sunday Star Times)

Here is an article from 3 News

There is also debate about this on Facebook.  I found a some on this pages:

The Children’s Bookshop

Here are some Op Ed pieces:

Shelley Bridgeman: ‘Child abuse’ book stays in the New Zealand Herald

ROSEMARY MCLEOD: Parenting wrongs can create a lasting, painful legacy in the Dominion Post

Update: I see in the following piece that the book has been submitted to the censor’s office.
Peter Calder: Classics that fail public taste test in the New Zealand Herald

Petition to Auckland Libraries

Eileen Joy has started a petition at Change.org asking the Auckland Public Library system to remove the newly aquired book, To Train Up A Child from their system.  The library claims that to remove it would be censorship, even though the book advocates for corporal punishment which is illegal in New Zealand.

Refuting Pearl’s Analysis of Spanking Studies

In a recent post, I shared discussion of an addition to To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl.  There is an exerpt from the chapter on the No Greater Joy website.  In this article, Michael Pearl refutes studies which have shown spanking children to be harmful and shares the results of some other studies which he claims show the opposite.  Of course, there are flaws in his logic.  Here is an example.  He states:

Child psychologist Elizabeth Owens, scientist at the Institute of Human Development at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted a study. She concluded, “If you look at the causally relevant evidence, it’s not scientifically defensible to say that spanking is always a horrible thing. I don’t think mild, occasional spankings in an otherwise supportive, loving family will do any long-term harm.”

Here is the study of which he speaks. MariJo7 from GCM has kindly given me permission to share her analysis of the study: [Read more…]

Discussing the new chapter of TTUAC

The Gentle Christian Mothers are discussing NGJ’s New Addition to “To Train Up a Child.”  It seems that for their 21st anniversary edition, No Greater Joy has added a new chapter to the book which attempts to refute studies which showing spanking to be detrimental to children.  Of course, the moms at Gentle Christian Mothers have found a few flaws in his logic.

If you like this, you might also be interested in this list I complied of Selected posts from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

Parenting in the Name of God E-Book

C.L. Dyck has graciously allowed me to host her free e-book. Her summary text is as follows:

Is the child-training method of homeschool business No Greater Joy Ministries a factor in child deaths? Sean Paddock (2006) and Lydia Schatz (2010) both died at the hands of parents who allegedly followed Michael Pearl’s child training method. But what influence, if any, might Pearl’s teachings have had on the parents’ thinking?

In the wake of intense online debate and controversy in 2010, this project undertook an in-depth review of No Greater Joy Ministries’ doctrinal ideas. It was assembled with the assistance of a 10-member review team who provided theological and editorial guidance for the project.

The e-book is 76 pages, and is available as a free download for the information of the Christian homeschooling community and other interested parties.

—-

Creative Commons License: Parenting in the Name of God by David J. Dyck and C.L. Dyck is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

To download, please click here.

He Makes Pearl’s Teachings Seem Gentle

R.L. Stollar has an in depth analysis of Voddie Baucham’s teachings in The Child As Viper: How Voddie Baucham’s Theology of Children Promotes Abuse.  In it, Voddie Baucham’s teachings are compared to Michael Pearl’s teachings with this conclusion:

Baucham’s system thus ends up being more authoritarian than Pearl’s, and that is caused by the fact that Baucham not only believes in original sin (as does Pearl), but also total depravity. How Baucham applies his belief in the latter (total depravity) makes Pearl’s child training system appear gentle and weak in comparison.

This is a very long examination of Voddie Baucham’s theology followed by 3 detailed critiques:

Critique #1: Baucham’s Theology of Children is Unbiblical
Critique #2: Baucham’s Theology of Children Encourages Contempt for Children
Critique #3: Baucham’s Theology of Children Promotes Abuse

While long, it is well worth reading all the way through to the conclusion.

Carri Williams Appeals

Maureen shares an update of the Barbour case, in which Kristen Barbour was sentenced to 6-12 months for pleading no contest to the felony charge of endangering her 2 adopted Ethiopian children.  What I find most surprising is that she will be allowed to go home and take care of her children for 40 hours per week. This is all explained in this article in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

Update:  More about the Barbour case in this article: Franklin Park child abuse case draws protest, counter-protest.

She then goes on to tell us about Carri Williams and the 59 page appeal brief she has filed, which she has on her site for us to read.  This is a lot to read, but I’ll try to summarize what I can understand.  They argue that it was not proven that Hana was under 16 nor that Immanuel’s scars were caused by Carri, that the terms “torture” and “extreme indifference to human life” were unconstitutionally vague and that she was deprived of a necessary witness.  They bring up the witness who claimed to be Hana’s uncle and testified to her age being 13 and then fled instead of returning to Ethiopia. It later came out that the State had paid him for his testimony. His testimony was stricken from the case, but the jury had heard it.  They also show where the prosecuting atty gave opinions and was instructed by the judge to stop more than once.  For these reasons, they believe that it should have been ruled a mistrial.

For more on the Williams case, please see my Hana Alemu “Williams” tag.

 

Remembering Hana

Maureen, at Light Of Day Stories, remembers the verdict one year ago today.

For Those Who Were Following The Hana Story

Maureen has a follow up to the Hana Story which I found interesting.

Review of TTUAC on HeraldNet

Jenny Bardsley has a post on HeraldNet honoring Hana Alemu “Williams” and reviewing the Pearl’s book, To Train Up A Child.

She speaks more about the book and homeschooling here.

She also discusses their teachings in her review of Elizabeth Esther‘s book.

Child Abuse in Germany

Jennifer Stahl has been explaining about child abuse going on in German churches on her Blog, Yeshua Hineni. In this post she writes about the Pearl’s book To Train Up A Child which, while not being sold, is available “under the table.”  She Translates and transcribes a video about the concerns one woman has for her brother’s children being raised by this method.

I would also like to mention that Jennifer has been reporting on a very serious abuse case called, The Twelve Tribes in Germany. She has put a lot of work into this, tirelessly translating and transcribing from German, for the English speaking world to read.

Here is what she has so far:  part 1part 2 part 3part 4part 5part 6, part 7part 8part 9,part 10,  part 11part 12, part 13part 14 and part 15.

 

In Memory of Lydia Schatz – 4 years

It has been 4 years since we lost Lydia Schatz.  TulipGirl has a moving post about her which she posted 3 years ago.   <3  RIP Lydia

Please pray for her siblings, it must be a very hard day for them.  I know that there is very little sympathy for her parents in this world, but I believe that they are repentant and am also praying for them.

The Christian Post Looks At The Petition To Amazon

The Christian Post reports that the Change.org petition (asking Amazon to stop selling the controversial book, To Train Up A Child) is closing in on 100,000 signatures. They then take a closer look at the Pearls’ teachings and the controversy surrounding them.

Book About Fight to Save Children from Faith-Healing Homicide

I received a comment, informing me about a book which mentions the Pearls. This book has gotten good and interesting reviews and I thought it might be of interest.

If you do not want to read the whole book, you can see a preview on Google Reads.  There is a search function for if you wish to find the part where the Pearls are mentioned.

On a side note, the review I linked above mentions Scientology.  That reminds me of a very interesting video I saw lately in which the great-grandson of L. Ron Hubbard exposes the family secrets about the beginning of Scientology.

International Business Times Looks At The Pearls

Today the International Business Times featured an article about the pressure being put upon Amazon to stop selling the Pearls’ book, To Train Up A Child.  This is a very good article except for a small confusion about the children who have been killed.  Sean “Paddock” was killed in 2006, Lydia “Schatz” in 2010 and Hana “Williams” in 2011.  For more information about what the Pearls’ teachings had to do with the death of Lydia, please see my post, Why Blame The Pearls At All and for more information about what the Pearls’ teachings had to do with the deaths of Sean and Hana, please see Why Blame The Pearls At All Part 2.

Did Batman Follow Pearl’s Teachings?

Chris Gavaler compares Michael Pearl to Batman as he reviews his Comic Book Bible in The Good And Evil Guide To Parenting.

An Interview With Michael Pearl’s Nephew

Alicia Bayer has an interview with Michael Bailey who is Michael Pearl’s nephew.  He discusses his childhood, Michael Pearl and the book he is writing to refute his teachings in, Michael Pearl’s nephew speaks out on God, beatings and To Train Up a Child.

Also, today Margot Peppers has an article about the Pearls and their book, To Train Up A Child, in the Mail Online: Inside the extreme child-rearing guide that advocates whipping children with belts and branches. . . and has been linked to three deaths in seven years.

Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on BBC Radio

Yesterday the BBC had Michael Pearl and Elizabeth Esther on their radio talk show, World Have Your Say.  The segment about Michael Pearl and his teachings begins at 27:16.  They also have a few other guests discussing the teachings after Elizabeth Esther and Michael Pearl have their discussion/debate.

I am encouraged that Mr. Pearl has started back pedaling a bit and even said to stop hitting a 9 month old’s knuckles after 3 strikes with a spatula because it is clearly not working.  Of course, he qualifies it that the parent is not doing something right and must regroup and start over, but I am so thankful that he is starting to admit that it might not be working and that one should stop.   It would be great if he would admit that his method will not work for every child and even better if he would decide that there are better ways of getting the attention of a 9 month old than inflicting physical pain and that conditioning children is very unhealthy for them, but I must rejoice in any improvement.  When Elizabeth pointed out  that he was contradicting his book, he just brushed her off.   Hopefully, he will continue to promote guidelines of when things are not working and make sure that all his followers hear it.

The BBC Looks At The Pearls’ Training Book

Aiden Lewis of The BBC has a well researched article about the book, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl as well as the controversy which surrounds it.

To Condition Up A Child?

Michael Pearl says that his teachings are Biblical.  Lee Woofenden does not agree and he explains why in his post, To Train Up A Child, or: Spare the Rod? What Rod?  This is a long article and worth the read.  He points out, among other things, that Mr. Pearl is actually teaching parents to condition their children which is not Biblical.

Amazon Boycott

According to this tweet, Amazon has decided to not stop selling the controversial book, To Train Up A Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl.

Because of that, the petition drive has escalated into a boycott until Amazon removes To Train Up A Child in all formats.

More information can be found at the Facebook group Online retailers – we urge you to stop selling To Train Up A Child and the Twitter Account @BoycottAmazon1.

Meanwhile there is also a new petition to the UK Government, asking them to make it illegal to sell the book in the UK.  Of course, this petition may only be signed by British citizens and UK residents.  You can find more petitions at the bottom of this post.

Anderson Cooper 360 Takes Another Look At The Pearls

Andersoon Cooper 360 has taken their old footage from the interview Gary Tuchman did with Pearls back in Oct 2011 and the stories they did about the death of Lydia Schatz and remixed it with new footage about Hana “Williams,” in this new episode of Godly Discipline. They then discuss the Pearls’ culpability or lack of it, in the deaths. You will find both parts of this show (in 2 videos) on this page. You will find the transcript here. The segment in question starts about 2/3 of the way down. The easiest way to find it would be to use the find feature and search for “To Train Up A Child.”

Note: Here is more information about the Find Feature.

In case anyone is wondering, I am not in favor of holding the Pearls legally accountable.  The parents are to blame for following man instead of God.  Yes, the Bible does say that teachers bear a greater responsibility and God’s judgement will be fair.  I do believe that the teachings are dangerous and do my best to convince parents not to follow them and bookstores not to sell them. However, I am not trying to get the book banned, nor to harm the Pearls in any way.

 


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