Dara Stoltzfus considers anger and how children are forced to repress it. Many parents feel that it is best to teach their children to repress their anger. Those parents will typically not understand why repressing anger is unhealthy because they misunderstand the Bible. You can try to explain it to them, but they will rarely listen. Once they are sure that they understand the Bible, they refuse to even consider that they might be wrong. Dara discusses that mindset in another recent post.
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RedditThe Effects of Spanking – Part 3 *Sensitive*
September 17, 2011 9 Comments
In the last piece I discussed one of the major effects of spanking, which is denial. We also looked at repression and the continuum of violence against children. If a swat or light slap on a child’s hand or bottom is intended to cause pain to the child, then it is a form of violence against the child just as it is for adults. Children are not sub-humans, and do not deserve to have pain inflicted upon them because they are unable to behave like adults. As we’ve seen in my last two series, “Spanking is NOT God’s Will,” and “The Christian History of Spanking,” God never intended us to spank our children. This series further proves this as it is showing the very harmful effects of spanking children—even if it’s done “lovingly” and by Christian parents. In this piece, I will be discussing how spanking effects empathy, anger, and aggression in children and adults.
Empathy—“That Child Needs a Good Spanking!”
We hear the above statement, “That child needs a good spanking,” by many advocates of spanking as if they have no empathy for what the child is actually experiencing or the pain a “good spanking” will cause the child both physically and emotionally. As we saw in Part 2 of this series, many pro-spankers were spanked/abused as children themselves but have repressed their pain and are now in denial that hitting children does in fact cause harm. This denial can often, and does indeed, lead to a lack of empathy when it comes to children as well as other adults. [Read more...]
The Effects Of Spanking – Part 2 *Sensitive*
August 15, 2011 12 Comments
By now, people have read my very personal story. I can’t begin to put into words how difficult that was for my family and me. As I said in Part 1, the purpose of this series is to explore all of the effects of using physical punishment with children. In this piece, I will be discussing denial as one of the many effects of spanking (hitting) children. I will also share a couple of definitions of physical abuse, and will discuss the continuum of violence against children.
Denial—“I was spanked and I turned out OK”
One of the many, and most visible if one looks closely enough, effects of spanking and physical abuse is denial. Denial is a psychological defense mechanism to any traumatizing or painful event. This is why denial is one of the first steps in the grieving process. It is easier to deny that something very painful has occurred than to deal with the pain head on. How many times have we heard, “I was spanked and I’m okay,” from pro-spankers? Go on the Internet and Google “spanking children,” and we get an array of pro-spankers arguing intensely with anti-spankers about how spanking isn’t harmful. They base their arguments on their personal experiences. They are often quick to become defensive, and even get downright angry, when anti-spankers try to gently point out how and why they are wrong. This is due to the fact that it is very difficult to admit that their parents did hurt them as children, or that they are now hurting their own children. [Read more...]
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