Punishment Works?

Claire, over at Dare To Disciple, continues with her Myth Busting series with Punishment Works.

John Rosemond: Pro-Spanker?

Conservative  Christian, John Rosemond  “is known for his old-fashioned, Bible-based parenting philosophy and approach” according to Wikipedia.  Because of this, I found was very interested to find out that he does not advocate spanking.  While I do not recommend his parenting advice which I find very harsh and punitive,  I decided to share this information on my blog for the following 2 reasons:

1) If you believe that spanking is Biblically mandated you might be interested to know that John Rosemond disagrees with you on that point.

2) If  you do not spank and someone is trying to convince you that it is Biblically mandated, you can now refer them to well known author John Rosemond.

Note that John Rosemond does not condemn spanking and will defend it from those who argue against it, but he says very clearly in his FAQ that he does not advocate for spanking, does not find it very effective and does not believe that it is Biblically mandated.  He does not go into much detail about how he came to that conclusion, so here is an in depth examination of The Biblical Rod.

Avoiding Adversarial Parenting

Molly explains Adversarial parenting and how to avoid it in What punitive is apart from spanking….

Gentle Parenting and Defiance

MamaPsalmist considers how hard it is to leave punitive spanking behind when a child is being defiant and if it is worth it in, Coming Out of Hiding.

Gentle Parenting Is More Than Just Not Spanking

Dulce de Leche looks at the punitive mindset and how it affects our relationships with our children in It’s Not Just About Spanking.

Spiritual Roots

Dulce de Leche looks at the Spiritual Roots of discipline.

Fruits of Gentle Discipline

Dulce de Leche explains how she came to chose Gentle Discipline 7 years ago and examines the fruits of her decision in  7 Year Harvest.

Damaging Effects of Punishment on Children

GreeneGem explains the damage  which was done to her by her mothers trampling on her Boundaries.

Speaking of damage, did you know that when babies are left to cry it out, their little bodies are being flooded with Cortisol?   Discipleship Parenting looks at what  effect that has on them.

Meanwhile Pearl, from An Apprenticeship in the Art of Gentle Discipline, looks at the Spiritual Discipline of Parenting to Sleep.

Claire’s Testimony

Claire  has been doing some more Myth Busting at Dare to Disciple in Myth Busting 4: My Story.  Here are the myths she busts in this installment:

  • ‘Punish’ and ‘discipline’ are synonyms.  (note:  Sally Clarkson mentioned this in a recent post)
  • All Christians spank.
  • Spanking is the best way to make a point to a young child.
  • Spanking works.
  • God mandates – or at least strongly recommends – corporal punishment.
  • Children are lesser citizens than adults.
  • People have to feel bad to act better.

Who is God?

Molly asks, “Who is God?“  as she shares her testimony of how she learned to see God as a Gentle Parent, rather than a Vengeful Judge.

You Always Hurt The One You Love?

Molly remembers the messages she got as a child that parents must hurt their children because they love them.    What kind of damage does that do to a child?

And speaking of damage.  What kind of damage is done to a child who is given a Roy Lessin spanking for every infraction? Especially when not being happy enough (even after a spanking) is a punishable offense.   Read Beth Fenimore’s testimony (on Peaceful Parenting) in her open letter to Roy Lessin but first brace yourself as it really is a heart wrenching story.

The Root Problem

Dulce de Leche uncovers the root problem with the punitive mindset in her post, Authority, Submission, Control and Discipline.

Yes, the root problem is control. Now that you have seen why we should not try to control our children, Lucy explains why she cannot control her children and what that looks like in her house.

How Punitive Parenting Shames Parents

Dulce de Leche has written a post explaining how Punitive Parenting Shames the Parents in This  Hurts Me As Much As It Hurts You.