TTUAC and Child Abuse
Robin of Heart of Wisdom has a nice synopsis of the Dangers of the Pearls’ teachings in Pearl’s To Train Up A Child And Child Abuse. This is a good post for sharing as it contains the Action News Report as well as quotes from TTUAC and a lot of links for further study.
This is an interesting argument to read. I disagree with the Pearls but have a lot of respect for them as parents who clearly tried their best, loved their kids, and put the time in to make something work. I feel about them the way I do aboit my own family. The reasoning was flawed from the beginning, but love went a long ways towards mending the problems. The biggest difficulty I see is that the same people who will misinterpret Scripture to justify themselves, will certainly not hesitate to make any sort of guidance justify whatever they want it to. Hence the cretins who brutalize their children in the name of biblical discipline. It isn’t the fault of the guide, but I still believe their premise is flawed and I wish they could see it. Because I honestly believe their hearts are in the right place. They just won’t let themselves look outside that box.
I agree that their premise is flawed and that they mean well. The point of this blog is not to condemn the Pearls, but to provide Biblical arguments against their teachings. I admit that we do get frustrated when we see how much damage is done by their teachings and other, similar teachings. (The adversarial relationships and abuse of authority is the common ground in all of my targets.) I do try very hard not to attack them as individuals, nor to link to posts which do. I try to keep my focus clear, to provide Biblical arguments against their teachings. While I do link to mainstream news as it is of great interest to my followers, I do not link to non-Christians’ rants against them. My biggest concern with the Pearls’ teachings is that if it is followed literally and consistently ( which he insists is the only way to make it work) it can lead to great damage on many levels. The fact that they mean well doesn’t really help much. As the saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
My children’ my sister’s children many of my friends and fellow homeshoolers children were all raised this way after reading the book. Not one of us misunderstood any of the Pearl’s teaching and used it as an opportunity to beat or abuse our children. Makes me wonder what you read or should I say with what wounded heart did you interpret it with.
I will assume that all of your children responded to the training exactly as Pearl said they would and it all worked perfectly for you. That does not mean that it will work well for all children, but I don’t really expect you to believe me. I publish explanations and testimonies of of the damages done by the teachings. In the spirit of magnanimity I am also publishing your arguments and testimonies. <3
I have read the entire book. I cannot understand the appeal of Michael Pearl’s works. The man has written a manual for child abuse.
I thank God that your children, Melody, have been spared the suffering of those who espouse his teachings, & end up with children hospitalized–or dead.
Maybe it’s a matter of the heart of the one that reads it. It helped me to value my children and for the first time see that you need not ever have to lose your cool with them. Also that they’re no bad kids just parents who don’t care enough to train.I will qoute Miheal ~’If you can’t discipline and be pleasant don’t discipline at all”. How can anyone read the whole book and in any way justify abuse??? Because they want to beat their children and blame someone else. These are sick individuals that need not to read a training book to act out their own twisted angry heart!
Michael Pearl teaches parents to continue switching the child until the child submits. He also teaches that a parent must be 100% consistent or risk ruining everything. If a child refuses to submit, a parent must decide at what point it would be abusive to continue following Pearl’s advice. In my opinion, to break a child’s will is abusive and to switch them at all is abusive. There is no agreed upon definition of what constitutes abuse. So, your question, “How can anyone read the whole book and in any way justify abuse??? ” doesn’t really make sense. While he does not teach parents to beat their children, he teaches them to switch them with a flexible stick or piece of plastic until they submit, which is considered abuse by the great majority of people. So, unless you read his book and refrain from switching (not following the advice in the book) you are justifying abuse.
Only a twisted mind could read ANY of the Pearls material and get anything but wisdom and true love from it. Myself and anyone of my friends read it and for the first time really learned how important it is to enjoy our children. I learned to Never discipline in anger. To tie strings of fellowship with my children by looking in their eyes and smiling at them. by finding out what they enjoy and learning to enjoy that too.
I am so dissapointed in you Robin! I would never have pegged you to attack another Christian family. Have you read the whole book or just those pulled out of context highlighted examples you gave?
I am not Robin, but I have read the whole book. I fail to see any way those highlighted examples of quotes could be ever gentle or healthy.