1. Cindy on January 27, 2013 at 11:11 am

    This is going to sound terrible, but I used to wish that my parents would have just beat me instead of the verbal beatings, shaming, and mind trips I received. I learned fear through verbal abuse which was profoundly devastating.

    When I went off to kindergarden, my parents couldn’t believe anything I told them about what happened to me at school, from how people acted to how the Pa Dutch people there pronounced their names. It started off as ridicule as they laughed at how silly the Dutch names sounded to them (as they were from the Pittsburgh area). But then, when I was reprimanded for willfully disobeying them for using the Dutch pronunciations, I actually believed I was crazy. I knew I wasn’t lying, and children must believe that their parents know things better than they do, especially when they are so little.

    I used to feel like I was outside of my body as it happened while sitting at the dinner table, like I was watching events through the eyes of someone standing about two inches away from me to my right. I leaned in therapy as an adult that the abuse was so threatening to me that this was dissociation. And things never really got much better. Knowing that I was telling the truth and was obeying everyone as best I can, I decided that I must be insane.

    There have been days when I wished that they would have just physically beat me instead, but I know in my heart that it only makes for deeper wounds.


    • Hermana Linda on January 28, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      How very sad. I’m so sorry. I thank God that He could use me to shine some light on this kind of abuse and help parents to consider the effects of their words and deeds.

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