Petition to Auckland Libraries

Eileen Joy has started a petition at Change.org asking the Auckland Public Library system to remove the newly aquired book, To Train Up A Child from their system.  The library claims that to remove it would be censorship, even though the book advocates for corporal punishment which is illegal in New Zealand.

Refuting Pearl’s Analysis of Spanking Studies

In a recent post, I shared discussion of an addition to To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl.  There is an exerpt from the chapter on the No Greater Joy website.  In this article, Michael Pearl refutes studies which have shown spanking children to be harmful and shares the results of some other studies which he claims show the opposite.  Of course, there are flaws in his logic.  Here is an example.  He states:

Child psychologist Elizabeth Owens, scientist at the Institute of Human Development at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted a study. She concluded, “If you look at the causally relevant evidence, it’s not scientifically defensible to say that spanking is always a horrible thing. I don’t think mild, occasional spankings in an otherwise supportive, loving family will do any long-term harm.”

Here is the study of which he speaks. MariJo7 from GCM has kindly given me permission to share her analysis of the study: [Read more…]

Update in the Barbour Case

The Pittsburgh Post Gazette has an update on the Barbour Case which focuses on the children involved and their new life and healing.  It’s so wonderful to post some good news for a change!

In case you missed them, here are my previous posts about the Barbour case.

 

Discussing the new chapter of TTUAC

The Gentle Christian Mothers are discussing NGJ’s New Addition to “To Train Up a Child.”  It seems that for their 21st anniversary edition, No Greater Joy has added a new chapter to the book which attempts to refute studies which showing spanking to be detrimental to children.  Of course, the moms at Gentle Christian Mothers have found a few flaws in his logic.

If you like this, you might also be interested in this list I complied of Selected posts from The Gentle Christian Mothers Forum.

A person’s a person no matter how small.

Sarah has graciously allowed me to host this most excellent post.

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Aha. Welcome to my long winded “Why I don’t believe in spanking” post.

You will soon find that spanking isn’t the whole issue with me. I don’t believe in punishment at all (GASP!).

‘Course permissiveness can be unhealthy as well, so I am setting out on this parenting journey to tread not somewhere in between those two evils, but outside the whole paradigm altogether. Onward, fellow travelers! To the land of gentle discipline! (I’m cheesy and I know it… beeeooouuup beeouup beoup beoup beoup beoup beoup. Girl, look at that baby. He drinks milk! Okay, yes. Too much coffee. I’m out of control.)

Now that you know what you’re getting yourself into (should you choose to read on), allow me to indulge in a disclaimer. [Read more…]

Life Sentence for Killing Child While Trying To Break his Will

Markiece Palmer has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the beating death of Roderick “RJ” Arrington. This was another case of parents abusing their child in the name of religion. The part I found intersting about this case was that the judge condemned him for his attempt to break the child’s will. Here is the quote from the story in The Las Vegas Review Journal. (Warning, upsetting story; not for the faint of heart)

“You used your faith as a basis to justify that,” District Judge David Barker said at Palmer’s sentencing hearing. “It sounds to me like you were trying to break him, this little boy, to break his spirit, to break his will.”

ETA: There was some question about the report to CPS on my Facebook wall, which led me to share this (very disturbing) news story.

Update: A settlement has been reached in the civil suit brought by the child’s father.

Parenting in the Name of God E-Book

C.L. Dyck has graciously allowed me to host her free e-book. Her summary text is as follows:

Is the child-training method of homeschool business No Greater Joy Ministries a factor in child deaths? Sean Paddock (2006) and Lydia Schatz (2010) both died at the hands of parents who allegedly followed Michael Pearl’s child training method. But what influence, if any, might Pearl’s teachings have had on the parents’ thinking?

In the wake of intense online debate and controversy in 2010, this project undertook an in-depth review of No Greater Joy Ministries’ doctrinal ideas. It was assembled with the assistance of a 10-member review team who provided theological and editorial guidance for the project.

The e-book is 76 pages, and is available as a free download for the information of the Christian homeschooling community and other interested parties.

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Creative Commons License: Parenting in the Name of God by David J. Dyck and C.L. Dyck is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

To download, please click here.

He Makes Pearl’s Teachings Seem Gentle

R.L. Stollar has an in depth analysis of Voddie Baucham’s teachings in The Child As Viper: How Voddie Baucham’s Theology of Children Promotes Abuse.  In it, Voddie Baucham’s teachings are compared to Michael Pearl’s teachings with this conclusion:

Baucham’s system thus ends up being more authoritarian than Pearl’s, and that is caused by the fact that Baucham not only believes in original sin (as does Pearl), but also total depravity. How Baucham applies his belief in the latter (total depravity) makes Pearl’s child training system appear gentle and weak in comparison.

This is a very long examination of Voddie Baucham’s theology followed by 3 detailed critiques:

Critique #1: Baucham’s Theology of Children is Unbiblical
Critique #2: Baucham’s Theology of Children Encourages Contempt for Children
Critique #3: Baucham’s Theology of Children Promotes Abuse

While long, it is well worth reading all the way through to the conclusion.

Teaching Children How To Appolgize

JoEllen from CuppaCocoa explains how to teach children A Better Way To Say Sorry.  This method is phenomenal as are the results of teaching it.  As Dara Stoltzfus said on the Facebook page for this site.

I’ve used this approach with my kids and it’s really the best way to go. Just forcing the “I’m sorry” thing doesn’t help anyone or teach kids “why” they should be sorry. I find too that when you talk to them about what they did wrong, once they’re used to this way of apologizing, they do it on their own. They will spontaneously offer an apology and ask forgiveness without being prompted to do so once they understand “why” what they did was wrong.

And, the funny thing is…once my oldest…did something and then she came to me and asked me to forgive her and I realized at that moment that here…I’d been wanting to wallow in my anger. I wanted to stay mad at her. I wanted to somehow “make her suffer” for what she’d done (the effects of having been spanked showing thru in me) and when she asked me that I had to deal with that IN ME.

Thoughtful parenting really changes US in such amazing ways.

This post is part of a larger series on How To Shape Children’s Behavior.

She also has some good marriage advice.

Following God’s Word or Man’s?

Richard was kind enough to share his concerns with me here.   Dara responded to him with such a powerful testimony that I did not want to leave her words hidden in my comment section.  That is why I am reproducing her comment here.

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“How interesting, Hermana Linda, that you have determined that there are better ways to guide than those supplied by God’s Word.”

I agree with you that it would be disturbing if someone felt this way. But, I do not see Hermana Linda as doing that. I see that she agrees that the best way to guide children is to do so by God’s Word. The real conflict is among Christians over what God’s Word actually says and should be of utmost importance to all of us.

I was raised being hit with [Read more…]

HSLDA Speaks Out Against Patriarchy

Michael Ferris, on behalf of HSLDA, speaks out against Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips and the teachings of Patriarchy in A Line In The Sand.  It’s a shame they still recommend abusive books, such as those by Dr. James Dobson and John Rosemond.

The Risk of Unintended Sexual Abuse Through Spanking

Homeschoolers Anonymous is running a series called, “Hurts Me More Than You,” from which I came across this testimony about the very real and tragic risk of unintended sexual abuse through spanking. If there were no other arguments against spanking, this one would be enough.

Some time ago a pastor and some of his flock came to my facebook page to try to convince me of my “error.” We had a long conversation. By the end of the conversation it was just me and one other person who was shocked and disgusted when I finally brought up the topic of the sexual nature of spankings. I was told that my thinking was perverse and the conversation ended soon after. Here is an excerpt from the end of the conversation. The name has been removed out of respect for privacy.  Please click on the image to make it easier to read.
Convo

Steph Got your help! Thank you!

UPDATE:  Because of  cash donations not included in the total, the goal has been met!  Thank you to everyone who participated in this labor of love.  <3

Steph is the author of Gentle Firmness. She needs a new wheelchair, this link explains why.  Please share the link, every little bit helps. Thank you so much!

The Duggars Are Getting A Lot Of Attention Lately

Here is an article which explains why many of us are uncomfortable with the Duggars.

Should Christian Parents Spank Their Children?

Rick Creech answers the question, Should Christian Parents Spank Their Children?  This is a very good article to share with fundamental Christians because it is written by a fundamental pastor who only uses the KJV.

Maj. John and Carolyn Jackson on trial for abuse

I just found out about a new abuse trial, that of Army Maj. John E. Jackson and his wife, Carolyn.  The North Jersey Record writes about the case here.  It involves 3 adopted children, one of whom died some time ago (which they are now investigating due to the findings of abuse of the other 2.) I normally would not post about a case when religion has not been mentioned, but according to this story, when the oldest biological son confronted his father about the abuse, he was told that children were being trained. This article is giving me flashbacks of the Williams case.

Updates:

Doctor’s Testimony

Social Worker’s Testimony

More Reasons Not To Spank

Here are 2 new articles which explain why a Christian should reconsider spanking.

12 Biblical Reasons To Reconsider Spanking Your Kids By Shannon Wasie

6 Reasons Why We Changed Our Mind and Stopped Spanking by Sallie Borrink

Jennifer McGrail Reviews Gentle Firmness

Jennifer McGrail has posted a very favorable book review of Gentle Firmness by Stephanie Cox.  Here is an excerpt from her review:

Gentle Firmness, by Stephanie Cox, is one of the most important new books to join the gentle parenting movement, particularly for Christians.  Thorough and well-researched, it takes an unflinching look at the history of spanking within the Christian faith;  why the Bible doesn’t actually say what so many well-intentioned pro-spankers think it says; the harmful and often long-term effects of spanking;  and finally, practical suggestions on what peaceful parents can do instead.

It is an excellent review, so I’m sure you’re going to want to read the rest.

Carri Williams Appeals

Maureen shares an update of the Barbour case, in which Kristen Barbour was sentenced to 6-12 months for pleading no contest to the felony charge of endangering her 2 adopted Ethiopian children.  What I find most surprising is that she will be allowed to go home and take care of her children for 40 hours per week. This is all explained in this article in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

Update:  More about the Barbour case in this article: Franklin Park child abuse case draws protest, counter-protest.

She then goes on to tell us about Carri Williams and the 59 page appeal brief she has filed, which she has on her site for us to read.  This is a lot to read, but I’ll try to summarize what I can understand.  They argue that it was not proven that Hana was under 16 nor that Immanuel’s scars were caused by Carri, that the terms “torture” and “extreme indifference to human life” were unconstitutionally vague and that she was deprived of a necessary witness.  They bring up the witness who claimed to be Hana’s uncle and testified to her age being 13 and then fled instead of returning to Ethiopia. It later came out that the State had paid him for his testimony. His testimony was stricken from the case, but the jury had heard it.  They also show where the prosecuting atty gave opinions and was instructed by the judge to stop more than once.  For these reasons, they believe that it should have been ruled a mistrial.

For more on the Williams case, please see my Hana Alemu “Williams” tag.

 

More About the Old Schoolhouse and Abuse

Homeschoolers Anonymous has a new article about Homeschool Leaders covering up sexual abuse. (*trigger warning*) They focus on Paul and Gena Suarez of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, who I have mentioned before.  They are assisted in this story by Eric Novak who used to work for The Old Schoolhouse and was close to the family.

The reason I am interested in this piece is that Paul and Gena Suarez are staunch defenders of the Pearls. This article details some of their abuses and is not for the sensitive.

This piece also exposes that many respected homeschool leaders are aware of this situation yet chose to ignore it and continue to support and promote The Old Schoolhouse.  It is a very disturbing document, indeed.

For more info about this, please see these posts by Eric Novak
Why I Care about the Homeschool & Christian Community
An Open Letter to Heidi St. John
HSLDA & Heidi St. John Refuse to Support Victims of Abuse

Consequences of not spanking

Dara Stoltzfus tells us What Happens to Kids When You Don’t Spank.

What does the Bible REALLY say about spanking?

Eminent American Biblical Scholar Professor James D. Tabor looks at spanking in the United States and what the Bible really says about spanking in Spanking Children: The Bible Tells Me So?

 

Repenting of Christian Spanking

M. Dolon Hickman shares his testimony and background of how he came to write his book, “13:24 as well as how his father repented of his abuse in, My Father Repented of “Christian Spanking” Too Late.

About Adrian Peterson

Crystal Lutton discusses responses to the Adrian Peterson case.

Speaking of Crystal Lutton, she also explains what the Bible says about spanking.

When considering Adrian Peterson, Rebecca Diamond says that she was spanked and she turned out… well, you’ll have to read her post to find out.

Jennifer McGrail compares Adrian Peterson with Ray Rice in Hitting is Hitting is Hitting.

Well known NBA player, Kareem Abdul Jabbar condems spanking in Time Magazine.

Remembering Hana

Maureen, at Light Of Day Stories, remembers the verdict one year ago today.

“Life with Cerebral Palsy” with Stephanie Cox

Dara Stoltzfus has started a new series about our very own Steph called, “Life with Cerebral Palsy” with Stephanie Cox.

Here is what she has so far:

Introduction

The Chair!

Back to School!

The Holidays

New Things!

Hobby Lobby and Bill Gothard

Micah Murray explains more about Hobby Lobby’s Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs and how much Bill Gothard has influenced them. He also looks at the Duggars in this piece.

Bill Gothard: The Board’s Conclusion

The board who was investigating Bill Gothard has concluded that he acted inappropriately but not criminally, according to an article in the Chicago Sun Times.

Of course, there will be plenty of blog posts analyzing this conclusion to which I will link as I find them.

Here is Recovering Grace’s response to this statement.

Victoria Strong Analyses The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson

Victoria Strong blames her abusive childhood on the teachings of Dr. James Dobson and is now reviewing his book, The Strong-Willed Child.  She explains why in this heartbreaking quote:

So that is why I’m reviewing this book. I need to know what it says. I need some answers as to why my parents seemed to hate me so much. Why they were constantly angry with me. Why I was beaten with belts, punched in the stomach, slammed into walls, slapped across the face, and berated constantly, all in the name of tough love, the Bible, and most often, “Dr. Dobson says…”. Why I was never permitted to tell my side of the story or explain myself. Why they always, always, always assumed the worst about me. I need to know. I need to heal. So without further adieu, let’s dig in, shall we?

She starts here with the Dedication, and already has 7 posts up and is only on page 19 of the book at this writing.

It is very sad that her parents tried to raise her under Biblical teachings and yet failed to raise her to believe the Bible as an authority in her life.  This is just another example of how these kinds of harsh teachings fail both children and their parents.

Disclaimer: this blog contains mild profanity.

Another case of abuse

There are so many tragic cases of abuse, I don’t usually mention them unless the abuse was clearly tied to Christian teachings.  In the case of the Barbours the ties are not indisputable, but there are some pretty good hints.  Thankfully, this case did not end in death.

Maureen compares the Barbours with the Williams and finds quite a few eerie similarities.

There is a lot of information the 2 articles she links to from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

This story from Oct 2012 tells about how the adoption ended in tragedy.

This story from June 2014 is the follow up and tells us that the couple pleaded No Contest.